Misinterpretations
"Oh God! Do that again! Yes, right there oh God!"
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John suddenly started hearing his son moan from the other room, and decided that Dean must have brought some date back home for the night. John sat smirking, admiring his son's talent to pick up a girl in every city they stopped at.
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"Oh God! Hit that spot again! Shit, Sam!"
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Ten minutes after John first heard Dean start to moan he considered heading out to the local bar to find his own date to bring back to the room. That was until Dean moaned his little brother's name. At that moment John was quite sure he was having a heart attack. John knew all the risks of raising his boys so closely together, away from other people, but thought that with Dean's "adventures" that such an event would never occur.
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"Well, shut the hell up then! It's a freaking back massage, and your freaking the hell out of me with all that moaning! Seriously, go get laid or something!"
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That was the first time John had ever heard his youngest swear. For the life of him John could not find it in him to be angry, the relief was just too profound to feel any sort of anger. His heart stopped pounding in his temples and his hands stopped clawing at his chest."
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"Aw, but Sammy, that's what I have you around for!"
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And just like that, John's heart decided to test out his stress levels once more. This time he swore it stopped beating for a whole minute. Until finally a huge thump seemed to reverberate through his whole body.
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"Yeah, you wish you pervert."
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And just like that John's heart returned to normal.
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"That's not what you said last night, Sammy-kins!"
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'BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!' If John didn't know better he would swear explosions were going off in his chest. Any minute now his heart would explode and paint the room a lovely crimson color, instead of the nasty sea-green it currently was.
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"Dude, that is so not funny! And you know I don't like it when you use me to get you laid, especially when you never share!"
"What can I say Sammy, they all love me."
"Dude don't even go there! You took both twins last time, I mean you left me hanging!"
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Hearing his boys argue over Dean blocking Sammy finally set his heart at rest. Knowing his boys weren't doing anything that would have upset his heart any more.
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"Yeah, but Sammy, Mac and Mark were both twenty-five, way too old for you."
"Jerk."
"Bitch."
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Hearing those last words, John couldn't take it anymore.
"Boys! Shut Up!"