Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Harry Potter! And I don't own any of the websites mentioned here. And please don't get offended if you write HD slash, I'm sure it's very good. This is just Harry's reaction to it.
A/N: Hello! This is a humorous one-shot dealing with Harry Potter and the Internet. I'm feeling a bit random and hyper, probably because I'm on spring break and I just ate about 6 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!
It was just a normal breakfast at Hogwarts that day. Ron and Hermoine were bickering over their Charms homework as usual. Harry Potter was eating his bacon and eggs while watching his two best friends fight. All of a sudden, Professor Dumbledore stood up and addressed the school. After everyone quieted down, he started to speak.
"Good morning, fellow staff and students of Hogwarts!" The students mumbled a good morning; they were a bit puzzled, as Dumbledore almost never addressed the whole school at breakfast like this.
"I hope you are all enjoying yourselves. I have an announcement to make!"
"The exams are canceled!" "You defeated Voldemort!" several students cried out hopefully. Dumbledore smiled warmly and continued on.
"No, no, nothing like that. The Minister of Magic, Mr. Cornelius Fudge, thinks it best that the students should be updated as much as possible on the Death Eaters' activity."
The students nodded their heads in agreement, Harry included. He remembered only too well the Death Eaters' activity during his fifth year.
"So I present to you..." Dumbledore gave a grand wave of his hand, and several computers appeared from nowhere. The students gave a collective gasp; most of them had never seen computers before.
"One computer will be planted in each dormitory, as it would be difficult to provide a computer for each and every student. The home page, which will be called 'www.hogwarts.com', will be updated with the latest wizarding news every few hours. They will be in your dormitories by the time your classes end today. And I hope our computer-friendly students will show those less-inclined how to use them." His eyes flashed in the direction of Harry and Hermione, then he sat down again.
"What were those things?" Ron asked Harry.
"They're called 'computers', Ron. They have things called 'websites'. It's a bit hard to explain. But I'll show you after classes today," Harry told Ron.
During classes that day, the students couldn't wait to try out the computers. All the students who grew up with Muggles were offering computer lessons for the students from wizarding families. Harry, for one, was glad he was finally better than Malfoy at something.
After the last class, the students rushed to their dormitories to try the computers. Harry sat down in front of the boys' computer, with Ron watching over his shoulder. He had never actually been on a computer, as his aunt and uncle never let him touch Dudley's computer. But he had watched Dudley on the computer enough to know what he was doing.
He typed in 'www.hogwarts.com', and a web page came up. Harry saw a miniature Hogwarts castle, as well as the latest headlines: 'Dragon liver prices go up 8 cents a pound.' 'American Quidditch player Jack Habena breaks left wrist.'
After staring at the home page for a minute, Ron grumbled, "That's it? Don't see what's so special about that, mate." Harry frowned at the page as well; it did look quite plain. Ron shook his head and said, "Well, I've got Quidditch practice, Harry. I'll see you later."
"All right, Ron", Harry replied. He sighed, and then scrolled through the boring headlines. Then he wondered to himself 'Is this the only page it goes to?' He typed 'www.google.com' into the web browser. Google popped up, and Harry grinned. He didn't know many specific websites, so he stared blankly at the screen.
Then he had an idea; he typed in "Harry Potter" in the search box. He hadn't expected anything to come up; but when the search was finished, 5,590,000 results came up. His mouth hung open, and he clicked on the first link, which was 'www.harrypotter.com'. He then saw a snitch flying around the screen, and a second later a website was staring back at him. He clicked on one link, and a miniature sorting hat popped up. He answered a few questions, and then another page popped up. It said, 'Congratulations, you belong in Ravenclaw!'
Harry gasped as he clicked the 'Back' button; he was a Gryffindor, not a Ravenclaw!
He then scrolled through the search results until he came to one link; it said 'Harry Potter fanfiction at fanfiction.net. Come read it!' Harry shrugged and clicked on the link.
He then saw an elaborate web page dedicated to...him. He started reading what was on the page. 'All You Could Ever Want: Harry is lonely over the summer; guess who his special visitor is? HD slash.'
'HD slash'? What's that?, Harry asked himself. He shrugged again and started to read the story.
About an hour and a half later, Ron came into the dormitory from Quidditch practice. Harry was sitting in one of the squashy armchairs staring off into space.
"What's wrong, mate?" Ron asked Harry. Harry just blinked and said "Nothing". Ron stared back at Harry for a minute, shrugged, and went off to change.
A/N: Hello! This is a humorous one-shot dealing with Harry Potter and the Internet. I'm feeling a bit random and hyper, probably because I'm on spring break and I just ate about 6 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!
It was just a normal breakfast at Hogwarts that day. Ron and Hermoine were bickering over their Charms homework as usual. Harry Potter was eating his bacon and eggs while watching his two best friends fight. All of a sudden, Professor Dumbledore stood up and addressed the school. After everyone quieted down, he started to speak.
"Good morning, fellow staff and students of Hogwarts!" The students mumbled a good morning; they were a bit puzzled, as Dumbledore almost never addressed the whole school at breakfast like this.
"I hope you are all enjoying yourselves. I have an announcement to make!"
"The exams are canceled!" "You defeated Voldemort!" several students cried out hopefully. Dumbledore smiled warmly and continued on.
"No, no, nothing like that. The Minister of Magic, Mr. Cornelius Fudge, thinks it best that the students should be updated as much as possible on the Death Eaters' activity."
The students nodded their heads in agreement, Harry included. He remembered only too well the Death Eaters' activity during his fifth year.
"So I present to you..." Dumbledore gave a grand wave of his hand, and several computers appeared from nowhere. The students gave a collective gasp; most of them had never seen computers before.
"One computer will be planted in each dormitory, as it would be difficult to provide a computer for each and every student. The home page, which will be called 'www.hogwarts.com', will be updated with the latest wizarding news every few hours. They will be in your dormitories by the time your classes end today. And I hope our computer-friendly students will show those less-inclined how to use them." His eyes flashed in the direction of Harry and Hermione, then he sat down again.
"What were those things?" Ron asked Harry.
"They're called 'computers', Ron. They have things called 'websites'. It's a bit hard to explain. But I'll show you after classes today," Harry told Ron.
During classes that day, the students couldn't wait to try out the computers. All the students who grew up with Muggles were offering computer lessons for the students from wizarding families. Harry, for one, was glad he was finally better than Malfoy at something.
After the last class, the students rushed to their dormitories to try the computers. Harry sat down in front of the boys' computer, with Ron watching over his shoulder. He had never actually been on a computer, as his aunt and uncle never let him touch Dudley's computer. But he had watched Dudley on the computer enough to know what he was doing.
He typed in 'www.hogwarts.com', and a web page came up. Harry saw a miniature Hogwarts castle, as well as the latest headlines: 'Dragon liver prices go up 8 cents a pound.' 'American Quidditch player Jack Habena breaks left wrist.'
After staring at the home page for a minute, Ron grumbled, "That's it? Don't see what's so special about that, mate." Harry frowned at the page as well; it did look quite plain. Ron shook his head and said, "Well, I've got Quidditch practice, Harry. I'll see you later."
"All right, Ron", Harry replied. He sighed, and then scrolled through the boring headlines. Then he wondered to himself 'Is this the only page it goes to?' He typed 'www.google.com' into the web browser. Google popped up, and Harry grinned. He didn't know many specific websites, so he stared blankly at the screen.
Then he had an idea; he typed in "Harry Potter" in the search box. He hadn't expected anything to come up; but when the search was finished, 5,590,000 results came up. His mouth hung open, and he clicked on the first link, which was 'www.harrypotter.com'. He then saw a snitch flying around the screen, and a second later a website was staring back at him. He clicked on one link, and a miniature sorting hat popped up. He answered a few questions, and then another page popped up. It said, 'Congratulations, you belong in Ravenclaw!'
Harry gasped as he clicked the 'Back' button; he was a Gryffindor, not a Ravenclaw!
He then scrolled through the search results until he came to one link; it said 'Harry Potter fanfiction at fanfiction.net. Come read it!' Harry shrugged and clicked on the link.
He then saw an elaborate web page dedicated to...him. He started reading what was on the page. 'All You Could Ever Want: Harry is lonely over the summer; guess who his special visitor is? HD slash.'
'HD slash'? What's that?, Harry asked himself. He shrugged again and started to read the story.
About an hour and a half later, Ron came into the dormitory from Quidditch practice. Harry was sitting in one of the squashy armchairs staring off into space.
"What's wrong, mate?" Ron asked Harry. Harry just blinked and said "Nothing". Ron stared back at Harry for a minute, shrugged, and went off to change.