Mistakes

A/N: Title subject to change. I HATE thinking of titles. Right so this is my first ever fic of the LoM/A2A fandom but I am so in love with the character of Alex I had to do something with it (you might not believe me when you get to the end LOL). I really hope it's not too out of character. It's nowhere near as good as the few other A2A pieces of read but there are so few that I wanted to put SOMETHING out there. Hopefully you'll enjoy. This is only part one, I'll get the next bit up A.S.A.P. Warning, this chapter does contain some violence of a sexual nature but that's all I'm saying. I think this is maybe a bit out there but I do like to try and be different. Hopefully it doesn't offend anyone.

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or the initial idea of the show. Only character I do own is Matt... unfortunately. Yes, my mind is that warped.

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The first thing Chris saw when he opened his eyes and looked up from his desk, was flesh. He blinked and moved back in his chair, realizing it was in fact someone's back. And that someone was none other than his DI, Alex Drake, standing in front of him, the back of her black, knee-length dress unzipped. For a second he wondered if he was dreaming or hallucinating or something.

"Oh sorry Boss...M'am. You scared me. Can I erm...what...erm...yes?"

She glanced at him over her shoulder, smirking, "care to do the honours?"

Okay, he thought, I really am dreaming.

"Erm I... I mean... I'm... Shaz... and you... erm," Chris took a deep breath, "I can't. It's not right."

Alex ruptured into laughter, "relax Chris, I just want you to zip me up."

"Oh, right." His cheeks flushed red and he reached out shakily to oblige, "why me m'am?"

"You're the only one I trust enough to do it without grabbing my arse," she remarked, sauntering out of the office as quickly as she'd entered it.

Quite possibly the only good thing about being stuck in 1981, she'd decided, was the ability to have the freedom to do whatever she liked. End up with a new guy every night and not feel guilty about it because she knew that soon enough she'd be back home and none of this would matter.It's all in my head anyway; I might as well have fun with it. And anyway, it wasn't as if she was doing this for herself. He was a suspect. Not a suspect in a case as such, but she'd seen him lurking around outside the Price's and any unusual behaviour of that kind warranted her sticking her nose in.

At least that's what she told herself when worrying that she was wasting precious time doing things she shouldn't be doing. But it wasn't as if she wasn't attracted to him. No, Matt was good looking and sweet and... and she really hoped that he had nothing to do with her parents' murders but couldn't help but need to clear him from her 'investigations' properly.

Just as she was about to leave, the gruff, arrogant sound of Gene Hunt's voice echoed through the halls stopping her in her tracks.

"And where the bloody 'ell do you think you're going Drake?!"

She turned on her heel to face him, the usual annoyed frown dressing her features, "I told you; I have to leave early."

"And I told you yer stayin' 'ere. Finished yer paperwork have you?" he grunted, glaring at her.

"No. No I have not, but I can finish it tomorrow. Since when did you care about paperwork being done on time anyway? I thought it was a 'waste of time which could be spent on clearing the scum of the nation'?" Alex raised an eyebrow as if to make her point.

That shut him up. Briefly. She guessed he would have made some pun about her dressed like a tom, if it wasn't that she'd purposely taken a more subtle route tonight.

"Yeah... well... fine." It was unlike him to not put up a fight, but Alex took her way out and left it at that.

They'd chosen to meet at Luigi's, much to Alex's reluctance as she really didn't need him sticking his nose in again. She was very conscious of the probability of Gene and co turning up too, which made her twitchy, and she hoped Matt wouldn't notice.

"So," she said, as they were half way through their plates of spaghetti, "what is it that you do?"

She didn't really need to ask; she was just being polite and covering the fact that she'd followed him around for three days before finally approaching him at a bar the night before and asking him out. He worked on a large development in town, she knew that much. She'd followed him to a building site, watched him as he chatted to builders, flashing his charming smile and fluttering around in an expensive suit. He was management of some sort, she supposed.

"I work up on the new estate – Ridge Housing Development – do you know it?"

Alex's heart sank. She recognized the name; of course she recognized the name. It was where she'd ended up for a few weeks after her parents had died. She remembered being taken to look around, being carried on Evan's shoulders, his weak attempt at cheering her up when all she wanted to do was cry. He thought she'd want to be as far away from thathouse as she possibly could, but he was wrong. She didn't want to live on some stupid estate, and eventually he'd given up and they'd moved back into her old house. Evan had always made her feel safe.Even if he was sleeping with my mother, she thought, with a slight shudder.

"Oh yes. You're a builder?" she offered, hoping he wasn't seeing through her questions.

"No...no... more an architect. A wannabe architect I suppose," his blue eyes glittered and Alex couldn't help but get slightly lost in them, "I helped with designing the buildings. Nothing big though... more apprenticeship than anything else."

"Oh right," she chortled, "that's interesting, I guess."

"And you Alex, what do you do?"

She looked down at her glass of wine. This was the bit where normal men ran away. Where if they had anything to hide, from an unpaid parking ticket to anything much worse, they freaked out and left. Alex cleared her throat.

"I'm a police psychologist," she said, cautiously, continuously watching Matt for some kind of reaction.

"Wow... that sounds far more interesting if you ask me. Deep," he chugged down some wine and grinned at her. A wonderful, sparkling grin that made her giddy inside, in a way only one other man could. But you're not here to think about him, she reminded herself silently.

Things escalated. She would have been perfectly happy just having a nice meal, digging for information a little but not too much as she was almost completely satisfied that there was nothing dodgy about this guy. Of course, there was no way of her fishing for information regarding her parents, not yet at least, but she was content with just having a conversation. Before she knew what was happening she was drunk and letting him into her flat.

It was not completely unlike the last time she'd let a bloke up here.

There was a lot of fumbling and a lot of clothes being ripped and discarded, lips clashing, tongues fighting, hands running through waves of soft hair. It was only when it all started to hurt, when his touches were too rough and he was pushing her head first against a wall that she decided there was something wrong.

"No...wait...I...Matt...I don't want to," she breathed, her face pressed up against the wall closest to the door. He had one hand on her back, trying to unclip her bra, the other forcing her ever closer to the concrete wall.

He ignored her, pulling at the silky material until it came away. She suddenly felt far to exposed, dizziness coming over her in a flush of emotions and pain and she realized he'd pulled her underwear off as well as his own and was forcing her towards the bedroom. She couldn't see, spurts of white flashing lights filling her vision as she felt herself fall onto the soft cushioning of her mattress. This wasn't the guy she'd fallen for. And why the hell was she so weak? However hard she tried, she just couldn't fight it. Her lower body was numb (probably a good thing) and before she knew what was happening she was completely out of it, the room filled with darkness and emptiness.

And then it appeared. That sodding clown. Alex could have wrapped her fingers around it's scrawny neck and strangled it if she'd had the strength and if it let her get close enough to it. This isn't real. It isn't happening. I can wake up from this, you have to let me wake up, she pleaded with herself, but to no avail.

The clown disappeared.