And now…due to popular demand and much bitching….
IT'S….
THE SEQUEL TO "RETURN OF THE CELERY STICKS!!!!"
*ahem* I will only continue this work on one condition:
THAT Y'ALL STOP BUGGIN' ME ABOUT UPDATES!!!
And now, on with the sequel!!
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Chapter One: New Beginnings
Right. So after getting killed in a car crash, being in a giant white room, an incident with some talking brocolli, being naked in front of a '70s disco dancer named Suga Daddy, I was back in Middle Earth. And I had just unintentionally flashed Legolas a few minutes ago. I have such a normal life.
Apparently, I had popped back up while Legolas was living in Ithilien. Yay, he was taking me home with him! I looked around. Strange. It was much different than they had depicted it in the movie. It had tall trees growing all around and a grassy forest floor. I looked over at Waffle Boy, who was walking next to me and watching me look around.
"Sooo… Legolas," I said, trying to make conversation. "How are things?"
He smiled and nodded. "Fairly well. As you obviously know, Sauron was defeated, and the number of remaining orcs has been greatly decreased, though there are some left."
"How's Aragorn?"
"He is a great king now," Legolas answered, sounding quite proud of his friend. "He and Arwen have had a child."
I beamed. "How old is he…she…it?"
Legolas chuckled. "He is nearly three years now."
"I want to see them!"
"Of course. But first I want to take you to my home. There are people there that would greatly enjoy seeing you again." The biggest, dorkiest grin ever exploded onto my face.
"Elladan?" I said with a squeaky voice. Legolas nodded. "Elrohir?" Another nod. "OH MY GAWD!!!" I screamed. Some birds that had been roosting in a nearby tree flew off with angry caws, and Legolas clapped his hands over his ears. I grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."
"One thing is certain. You have not lost that outrageous shriek you had when you were a child," he mumbled loudly.
"Hey, I was not a 'child'! I was fifteen, thankyouverymuch."
"That still qualifies as a child."
"Nuh-uh! I was a young woman," I said, stopping and putting my hands on my hips. Legolas stopped and shook his head with a smile.
"It does not matter. You are no longer a young woman anyways," he said softly. I looked down at my shuffling feet. He was silent for a minute. "Come. The longer you stand there staring at the ground, the longer you're putting off seeing the sons of Elrond." I looked up, grinned, and we started walking again.
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(A/N: Since I don't know what sort of structure dear Leggy lived in at Ithilien, I'm just going to call it a castle thing. Correct me in your review if you know where he really lived.)
Legolas peeked in the door, then gestured to me. "Coast is clear," he said quietly. He told me he wanted to surprise the twins with my presence. I'm sure they would be honored to be seen with me. Like I had told Lego, it would be a great privilege.
We snuck quietly into the palace thingy and Legolas shut the door behind me. "Follow me," he whispered. We snuck down a long hallway and he led me to a bedroom. He opened the big oak doors, looked cautiously inside, and then nodded. I sighed.
"Legolas, isn't this a little uncecessary?"
"Shhh! Go have a bath, then pick out a dress from that wardrobe. I shall send a maid- oh!" He slammed the door shut, nearly taking off my head in the process. After muttering a curse under my breath, I put my ear to the door and listened.
"Who was that you were talking to, Legolas?" I heard a familiar voice ask. I bit back a joyful squeal.
"N-no one, Elrohir," Legolas answered a bit too quickly. It was the first time I had ever heard an elf stutter like that. I put my hand over my mouth and danced around in utterly hyper bliss.
"Hmm. Very well. My brother and I were looking for you," the voice said again. I put my back up to the wall and slid down to the floor, relishing every word.
"I apologize. I was taking a walk in the woods."
"I see. Well, when you are done talking to no one, come talk to Elladan and I in the hall." I heard the soft footsteps fade away.
"He's gone," Legolas whispered through the door. "Go on and get ready." I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me, and went to the bathroom. There was a small tub on clawed feet in the corner. I turned the faucet on (A/N: From now on, Ithilien has indoor plumbing), and went back into the bedroom to get a dress. I opened the doors to the chest-of-drawers.
Every single freaking dress was green. I don't know why I was surprised. However, on closer inspection, there were six or seven that were not. I picked out a simple royal blue one, laid it out on the bed, then went to take my bath.
Just as I was getting out and wrapping the towel around me, I heard the door open. I peeked round the corner and was relieved to see it was just the maid. She saw me and smiled. "Hello," she said in a sweet voice.
"Hey." She immediately dissolved into giggles. I looked at her strangely. To say that I was weirded-out is an understatement.
"…Okay?"
"Forgive me," she said, her voice full of mirth. "Legolas told me that you spoke strangely."
"Oh he did, did he?" I said dryly. She nodded, then cocked her head to the side.
"Are the two of you to be wed?" she asked, dead serious. I was shocked.
"Wha? NOOOOnononononono!!" I said, shaking my head furiously. "It's not like that, I SWEAR!" Though, I couldn't help thinking that it wouldn't be that bad to be his wife. In fact, I sort of wished that was the case.
"Oh, I see. Are you hoping to become his bride?" she asked. Obviously, I wasn't talking to the brightest crayon in the box. I slapped my hand to my face, then looked at her.
"Yes. I was dying to be noticed by him, so I accidentally appeared in these woods, completely naked, hoping he would find me, and, low and behold, he did," I said, with a tad bit of sarcasm.
She grinned. "Imagine that!" I rolled my eyes. "I am supposed to help you get ready."
Does Legolas think I can't dress myself or something? I thought. But oh well. I allowed her to help me.
Even if the girl wasn't too bright, she knew a lot about getting dressed and doing hair and makeup. By the time she was done I looked completely different than I had an hour before. I said a quick thanks and went out into the hall.
It was just at this point that I remembered: I have no idea where the hell I am going. I turned around to see the maid standing right behind me with a dimwit smile spread across her face.
"Would you like some help finding Prince Legolas?" she asked.
"Yeah, sure. Thanks, uh..." Need the name, hunnybuns.
"Luthien." How cliché. Every elf and her cousin is named Luthien these days.
"Right. Thanks Luthien. Lead the way." She walked past me and I followed her down the dark hallway.
Soon we came to a small arched doorway. There was firelight coming from inside, and I heard voices. I began to listen, but then realized that Luthien the Smart was still standing next to me.
"Um, you can go now."
"Are you quite sure?" she asked.
"Well, unless you'd like to help me move my legs and walk into the room, then yes." She stayed and offered her hand out. I slapped my face again. "It was a JOKE, Luthien…"
"Oh. Oh, of course, hahaha!" she said with a very fake laugh. I rolled my eyes as she walked away. Then I listened some more. All I could hear was the crackling of the fire. Then I heard someone murmur:
"Legolas, are you well?" It was my Elrohir!
"What? Oh, yes. Yes, I am fine."
There was a pause. Then a voice that differed very slightly from Elrohir's said, "You long for the sea." It was not a question. My blood ran cold. I had just gotten here, and already Legolas was wanting to go to the Havens.
Well that just sucks.
There was another pause. "Yes, I do," Legolas answered slowly, "but not as much as I did." I could tell he was smiling. I took this as my cue, and walked through the doorway.
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Well? WELL?? WELL???
Do ya like it!?! Lemme know!!
Be happy for me! I got 'Roos today! Like, the sneakers. They are AWESOME. Lime green with blue trim and white laces. Aww yeah.
Anybob, PLEASE REVIEW AND LEMME KNOW WHAT YA THINK!!!
Much lurve for the first time in this story,
~*!Laura!*~