AN: This is humor fic and I hope you like it!
Also this has swearing and sexual suggestion so don't be alarmed and don't
flame me for it saying I'm an evil person who should be sent to hell! By
the way, to those people who want me to go to hell you will be happy to
know that I have made my reservation and the bags are packed and I just
need to die (not that I want to!)
Disclaimer: I don't own the works of Ms. Pierce.
Chapter One
The Bump
The training ground's
Kel was lying on the ground was concussed, a group of squires surrounded her.
"Kel, Kel are you all right?" Neal asked his voice verging on hysteria.
"Who the f**k are you, get out of my face you piece of s**t!" Kel screamed slapping him on the cheek.
"What! Kel are you all right? I'm Neal remember?" Neal said his voice portraying his shock.
Kel opened her mouth and grinned an evil grim before her face became smooth and emotionless.
"Of course. . . Neal, I was just shocked," she answered her voice sweet and honeyed.
She stood up swaying slightly.
"Well Mindelen, your skill in swordMANship amazes me once more," Joren drawled.
"Oh, go screw yourself you pansy-assed pretty boy, I am in no mood for your childish antics. So what are you doing tonight? I've sure I have nothing more important to do other than. getting to know you." Kel replied
Joren blinked his face surprised and confused.
"Kel! What are thinking?! Joren's the enemy, not your toyboy!" Neal exclaimed.
"Pity, I would of enjoyed our time together," she smirked looked totally unlike her usual self.
Neal would have answered if it were not for the fact that Lord Wyldon had come back and started shouting.
"Knight's do not have the leisure of stopping in the battle for rest and nor do you, get back to work!"
The pages and squires startled by his voice went back to practicing.
**************
The mess hall
It was finally lunch and the pages and squires marched quickly in for the short break.
Kel walked up to where Merric, Owen, Neal, Roald and Faleron were sitting, she put her plate down, she stared at her plate she looked at Wyldon she looked at her plate and then at Wyldon again, by now the boys were starting to be slightly worried.
And the unthinkable happened.
She picked up a tomato a rather creeping smile crossing her face.
And threw it right at Lord Wyldon.
It hit him right in the jaw splattering across his face and clothes.
There was a silence.
Everyone looked Kel in shock as she calmly ate her breakfast a small smile on her face.
"Kel, are you all right?" Neal ventured.
"Page Keladry, what is the meaning of this?" Lord Wyldon sounded furious, looked it and more than likely felt it judging by the plum colour of his face.
"Tomato suits you, you should be thanking me not scolding me," Kel calmly said.
Everyone looked at the normally placid and well behaved Page.
"Report to me at the end of the day, Page Keladry," Lord Wyldon said before stalking out of the room.
"Some people have no manner's," Kel said as she shook her head.
"Kel what's the matter with you? You have been acting so weird and. different," Faleron asked looking concerned.
Kel jerked her face from her breakfast and did a slow full body sweep resting on certain parts below the pants and on his full lips. Faleron blushed and looked down.
Bad decision.
Kel put her hand on his thigh.
"What's your name again?" she said while winking at him.
"My name? My name is *gulp* Faleron," said Faleron.
"So, Faleron what are doing tonight *wink* we could have a nice. chat," Kel asked.
Faleron is unable to answer this as he had fainted.
Kel sighed, "Men have no stamina."
She then stood up and walked out of the room.
**************
In the Stables
"Look at you," Kel said snidely, "A horse of not much breeding if do say myself. Becoming your owner was a certainly different from what I would have chosen! My taste has fallen a great deal in the past years if I chose you! But how to get another horse I wonder?"
"Is that you speaking Mindelen? I'm surprised. But I do think I can solve your problem. But you will need to do something for me of course."
"What?"
"Hmmm, the Grand Ball is on tomorrow, have you an escort?"
"No. Are you asking me?"
"If you want a new horse of you're choosing, yes."
"Then I accept," She paused, "May I ask why you want to go with me?"
"I want to shock Queenscove, it will be amusing to see his face."
"I see."
"Keladry?"
She looked up surprised by his tone of voice it was almost. . . tender.
"Yes Joren."
"Why are you acting so? This unlike your usual behavior." Joren questioned.
"I don't know. I just feel like nothing can happen to me if I act however I please. . . "
"Well, I have some business to attend," he walked off and at once the atmosphere evaporated the warm feeling disappearing leaving a harsher one behind, "And don't forget to look beautiful, I don't take ugly women out!"
Kel mused over his words, did he think her beautiful?
Joren stopped walking and leaned against the wall of the stables his breathing coming out harsh and loud.
"I'm a bloody fool!" he exclaimed before regaining his strength and stalking off.
End Chapter One
Kel was a bit nasty to Peachblossom but don't worry all will be explained! And if there is any relationship in this fic at all it will be Joren/Kel But it can be changed if a lot of people ask.
In the next chapter!
The squires have to deal with this new Kel, what are they to do? And what will happen at the Grand Ball? What will Kel do while under Joren's command and has to do what he say's? What will her friends think? What devious plans does Joren have up his sleeve?
You have a say in this!
Just tell me and I will try to accommodate you!
But I've gone on long enough
Please R/R!
Thank You!
Blows kisses to rapt audience
~coughnotachanceinhellcough~
Disclaimer: I don't own the works of Ms. Pierce.
Chapter One
The Bump
The training ground's
Kel was lying on the ground was concussed, a group of squires surrounded her.
"Kel, Kel are you all right?" Neal asked his voice verging on hysteria.
"Who the f**k are you, get out of my face you piece of s**t!" Kel screamed slapping him on the cheek.
"What! Kel are you all right? I'm Neal remember?" Neal said his voice portraying his shock.
Kel opened her mouth and grinned an evil grim before her face became smooth and emotionless.
"Of course. . . Neal, I was just shocked," she answered her voice sweet and honeyed.
She stood up swaying slightly.
"Well Mindelen, your skill in swordMANship amazes me once more," Joren drawled.
"Oh, go screw yourself you pansy-assed pretty boy, I am in no mood for your childish antics. So what are you doing tonight? I've sure I have nothing more important to do other than. getting to know you." Kel replied
Joren blinked his face surprised and confused.
"Kel! What are thinking?! Joren's the enemy, not your toyboy!" Neal exclaimed.
"Pity, I would of enjoyed our time together," she smirked looked totally unlike her usual self.
Neal would have answered if it were not for the fact that Lord Wyldon had come back and started shouting.
"Knight's do not have the leisure of stopping in the battle for rest and nor do you, get back to work!"
The pages and squires startled by his voice went back to practicing.
**************
The mess hall
It was finally lunch and the pages and squires marched quickly in for the short break.
Kel walked up to where Merric, Owen, Neal, Roald and Faleron were sitting, she put her plate down, she stared at her plate she looked at Wyldon she looked at her plate and then at Wyldon again, by now the boys were starting to be slightly worried.
And the unthinkable happened.
She picked up a tomato a rather creeping smile crossing her face.
And threw it right at Lord Wyldon.
It hit him right in the jaw splattering across his face and clothes.
There was a silence.
Everyone looked Kel in shock as she calmly ate her breakfast a small smile on her face.
"Kel, are you all right?" Neal ventured.
"Page Keladry, what is the meaning of this?" Lord Wyldon sounded furious, looked it and more than likely felt it judging by the plum colour of his face.
"Tomato suits you, you should be thanking me not scolding me," Kel calmly said.
Everyone looked at the normally placid and well behaved Page.
"Report to me at the end of the day, Page Keladry," Lord Wyldon said before stalking out of the room.
"Some people have no manner's," Kel said as she shook her head.
"Kel what's the matter with you? You have been acting so weird and. different," Faleron asked looking concerned.
Kel jerked her face from her breakfast and did a slow full body sweep resting on certain parts below the pants and on his full lips. Faleron blushed and looked down.
Bad decision.
Kel put her hand on his thigh.
"What's your name again?" she said while winking at him.
"My name? My name is *gulp* Faleron," said Faleron.
"So, Faleron what are doing tonight *wink* we could have a nice. chat," Kel asked.
Faleron is unable to answer this as he had fainted.
Kel sighed, "Men have no stamina."
She then stood up and walked out of the room.
**************
In the Stables
"Look at you," Kel said snidely, "A horse of not much breeding if do say myself. Becoming your owner was a certainly different from what I would have chosen! My taste has fallen a great deal in the past years if I chose you! But how to get another horse I wonder?"
"Is that you speaking Mindelen? I'm surprised. But I do think I can solve your problem. But you will need to do something for me of course."
"What?"
"Hmmm, the Grand Ball is on tomorrow, have you an escort?"
"No. Are you asking me?"
"If you want a new horse of you're choosing, yes."
"Then I accept," She paused, "May I ask why you want to go with me?"
"I want to shock Queenscove, it will be amusing to see his face."
"I see."
"Keladry?"
She looked up surprised by his tone of voice it was almost. . . tender.
"Yes Joren."
"Why are you acting so? This unlike your usual behavior." Joren questioned.
"I don't know. I just feel like nothing can happen to me if I act however I please. . . "
"Well, I have some business to attend," he walked off and at once the atmosphere evaporated the warm feeling disappearing leaving a harsher one behind, "And don't forget to look beautiful, I don't take ugly women out!"
Kel mused over his words, did he think her beautiful?
Joren stopped walking and leaned against the wall of the stables his breathing coming out harsh and loud.
"I'm a bloody fool!" he exclaimed before regaining his strength and stalking off.
End Chapter One
Kel was a bit nasty to Peachblossom but don't worry all will be explained! And if there is any relationship in this fic at all it will be Joren/Kel But it can be changed if a lot of people ask.
In the next chapter!
The squires have to deal with this new Kel, what are they to do? And what will happen at the Grand Ball? What will Kel do while under Joren's command and has to do what he say's? What will her friends think? What devious plans does Joren have up his sleeve?
You have a say in this!
Just tell me and I will try to accommodate you!
But I've gone on long enough
Please R/R!
Thank You!
Blows kisses to rapt audience
~coughnotachanceinhellcough~