Blaine Anderson was lost. Not literally, but he constantly felt lost. He felt lost and trapped and suffocated constantly. He could run, but he could never escape the reality that was his life.
However, he did have a way of escaping, even if it was only a temporary fix. He would lock himself in the bathroom, pull his fingers through his curls and then proceed to take the pain away in the only way he knew how.
The blade slowly pulled across his wrist, the skin splitting open neatly as hot, sticky redness poured out of the slit. Wet, salty tears trickled down his cheeks and small sniffles filled the silence of the room.
He moved the sharp item down, just under the first gash, and ripped the skin open once again, hissing at the initial sting as his thoughts drifted away from his day to day pain.
"Blaine, dinner's ready!" Blaine heard his mom call from downstairs.
Blaine froze, the blade hovering above his skin. Crap, crap, crap he thought, jumping up and rifling through his cabinets. He grabbed a bandage and quickly wrapped it around his wrist, grabbing a safety pin and pinning it into place. He grabbed his long sleeved t-shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head, looking in the mirror and wiping his eyes so that he looked presentable before running down to the kitchen.
"What happened to your wrist?" Blaine's mom asked as he sat down.
"Um," Blaine squeaked, his mind scrambling for excuses as he grabbed the ends of his sleeves without realising as if he needed to cover his wrists up. "I, uh, cut myself by accident when I was making lunch."
Blaine's mother raised her eyebrows in disbelief, but dismissed the case nonetheless as she placed Blaine's food in front of him, much to his happiness.
He ate dinner in utter silence, attempting to rush off to his bedroom when he was finished, only to be stopped by his mother, asking him to wash the dishes. He reluctantly agreed and began washing the plates and cutlery with soapy water.
"Ouch!" He exclaimed when something sharp pricked his finger in the water. He glanced around the kitchen, realising he was alone. He picked up the offending object and pressed it a little harder into the tender skin of his finger, breathing out harshly as blood began to trickle out, running down his finger and blending into the sink water. Blaine dragged the blade down to his first knuckle, tears clouding his eyes.
He dropped the knife suddenly as he heard the door creek open, blinking away his tears and attempting to appear neutral.
"Is everything okay? I heard you shout." Blaine's mom asked, peeping her head in the door.
Blaine took a deep breath before answering. "I'm fine. I stabbed my finger with the knife but I...I'm fine."
"Be careful." She replied, leaving the room and allowing Blaine the opportunity to stare at the blood still bubbling out of him. He shook his head, wiping his finger on a piece of tissue before finishing the washing up.
Blaine ran up to his bedroom, shoving his desk chair against the door and sitting on his bed. He ripped the bandage of off his wrist carelessly, scratching at the dried up cuts until they split open again.
It was Sunday, so Blaine had school the next day, meaning he needed something to...dull the pain a little. He was sick of everything. He wished he could just freeze for a minute and stop everything from hurting so much. He wished everyone didn't hate him. He wished that he actually had friends and he wasn't teased and taunted every single day of his life.
With tears pouring down his face, Blaine stood up and slowly walked over to the mirror hanging on his wall, staring blankly at his reflection.
"I hate you," He said to his reflection, poking the mirror aimlessly. What he wasn't expecting was for the mirror to fall, shattering over his floor. He jumped back a little at first, before kneeling down on the floor and picking up the shards of shattered glass, allowing them to slice shallowly into the palm of his hand. "I hate you so much." He said, more tears leaving his eyes as he stared down at the blood scattered across his hand.
—
The next day at school, Blaine tried not to make eye contact with anyone - especially the jocks. He knew that if he so much as glanced at them he would probably be sent flying into a locker, and he really didn't want to deal with it. However, it was inevitable. It was just before third period that Blaine finally got shoved, causing his back to collide with the metal doors of the lockers that covered the walls.
Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself not to cry as he scratched at his wrists over the material of his top. He leaned his head back against the door, don't cut, don't cut, don't cut - someone could see you repeating in his head like a mantra.
"Blaine?" A voice said. Blaine sniffed, forcing his tears away before he opened his eyes and saw one of his teachers in his line of sight. "Are you okay?"
"Fine." Blaine replied.
"I think you should go and see the counsellor. I saw what happened, Blaine."
Blaine sighed quietly, squeezing his eyes shut before nodding - just to get her off his back. Unfortunately for Blaine, his teacher accompanied him to the counsellors office. He didn't even know why he was going there. The counsellor was...well, Blaine wasn't certain why she was even a counsellor. All she ever seemed to do was hand out pamphlets and she...wasn't female. Wait, what? Where was Emma?
"Mr Hummel?" Blaine's teacher said, prompting the man to glance up at them. "I have a student to see you."
"Hi," The man - Mr Hummel - smiled. "I'm Kurt - please don't call me Mr Hummel, it makes me feel old - come in."
Blaine slowly walked into the room, sitting down on one of the chairs that faced the desk and staring at the floor.
"Why are you here?"
"I don't know."
"Well there's obviously a reason," Kurt retorted. "Your teacher wouldn't just bring you in here for the fun of it."
"I got pushed over," Blaine sighed. "It happens frequently."
"Okay, and how does that make you feel?"
"The same way that any kid that gets bullied feels?" Blaine replied, phrasing it as a question as he kept his eyes cast down.
"Look -"
"Blaine."
"Look, Blaine, I want to help you here but there's not much I can do if you don't cooperate with me."
Blaine snapped. He took a deep breath and looked up, willing himself not to cry as he dug his nails into his wrists. "I hate it, okay? I hate going day by day, feeling like everybody hates me. I hate being teased for being gay, and I hate the names they call me. I hate being pushed into lockers almost every single day. Are you satisfied!?" Blaine screamed, tears pouring from his eyes as his breath came out in sharp hisses.
Kurt didn't know why, but the next thing he knew he was standing up and making his way round to the other side of the desk, gently wrapping Blaine up in a hug.
"Shh," Kurt cooed softly, rubbing Blaine's back. "It's okay."
Blaine curled the fingers on each of his hands into the sleeves of Kurt's shirt, crying into his shoulder as hard as he could.
"It's not okay," Blaine cried. "It's not fair. Why do they get to do this to me? Why are they allowed to make me feel this way?"
"How do they make you feel?" Kurt asked, pulling away from the hug but staying beside Blaine. "Be honest. Nothing you say leaves this room."
Blaine looked up at Kurt through his tears, letting out a small sob. He slowly pulled up the checkered sleeve of his shirt, showing Kurt the cuts that were still relatively fresh over his arm. "They make me feel like this. They make me feel like I'm not even worth existing. Like I shouldn't be here...alive. Like I shouldn't have been here in the first place."
"Blaine..." Kurt breathed. He'd dealt with a lot of bully victims before but he'd never had to deal with someone who self-harmed. He'd never seen real marks before. "Look at me," He said, causing the boy to lift his gaze from the floor. "Blaine, you are worth existing," Blaine scoffed at the man in front of him. "I mean it. Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or you're in love with a squirrel. No matter what problems you may face and no matter how many scars you have," He continued, gently holding Blaine's wrist and running his thumb over the cuts as the teen hissed quietly. "Don't ever think that you don't deserve to live."
"It's so hard," Blaine sobbed. "It's hard to believe that you're worth something when everybody hates you."
"That is not true. I don't hate you."
"You don't even know me."
"It's still true. And I'm sure it's not just me. What about your parents? They love you."
Blaine scoffed. "You don't know my parents. Ever since I came out they don't even care anymore. I could probably tell them that I cut myself and they'd just say 'that's great honey' and move on. They don't even acknowledge me half the time. I'm sick of feeling alone."
"Burt you're not alone," Kurt emphasised. "You don't have to go through any of this alone. I promise you."
"But I don't have anyone." Blaine said tearfully.
"You have me," Kurt replied. "I know it's not the same as having a best friend, but I promise you can talk to me whenever you want about whatever you want, okay?"
Blaine nodded, sniffling quietly and wiping his eyes. "Thank you."
Kurt smiled, walking round to the other side of his desk and jotting something down. "I'm going to sign you up for sessions every Tuesday and Thursday. When you come, you can talk to me about absolutely anything, okay? You can talk to me about good things, bad things, anything that's on your mind."
"Okay." Blaine nodded.
Kurt passed Blaine a box of tissues with a simple. "Do you want some water?"
"Yes please." Blaine responded, pulling a tissue out of the box and accepting the small bottle of water that Kurt handed him. He wiped his eyes and nose before taking a few sips of water, putting the cap back on and pulling his sleeves down. Blaine stood up, silently making his way over to the door.
"Blaine, wait -" Kurt said, scribbling something on a piece of paper before rushing over to him and giving him the paper. "My number. If you ever have the urge to cut or you're hurting or you just...need to get something off your chest, don't hesitate to call me, okay? No matter what time it is, I promise I'm here for you."
"Is that even allowed?"
"Not...not technically, but nobody has to know."
"Thank you." Blaine said, smiling a little.
Although it wasn't big, it was the first time that Blaine had smiled in the session and Kurt couldn't help but smile back.
"I'll see you on Thursday." He said, and Blaine was gone.
—
When Blaine got home that evening, he sat down on his bed and fiddled with the piece of paper that had Kurt's number on it. He eventually caved in and added the number to his contacts before shoving the piece of paper to the back of his drawer.
"Blaine!" Blaine heard his mother call from outside his room, just as she walked inside his room. "Get dressed, we're going out for dinner."
"I am dressed..."
"You know what I mean," She replied with an eye roll. "And hurry up, your date will be here soon."
Blaine threw a pillow at his door when his mom had left, letting out a frustrated cry. He was sick of his dad's stupid business dinners where he had to sit next to some girl that he didn't think was remotely pretty and he wouldn't consider dating even if he was straight. He got off his bed and began to make his way over to his wardrobe when he stopped suddenly, spotting the broken mirror on the floor. He knew that he shouldn't. He should text Kurt and ask him to help him, but he knelt down on the floor and picked up a shard of glass, rolling up his sleeve and dragging it over his skin. Usually he'd be slow and enjoy the sting of the glass splitting his skin in half, but he knew that if he took too long then his mom would be marching back up the stairs and she'd probably walk in on him, so he quickly dragged the glass across different parts of his arm, reveling in the feeling of the blood gushing out of the slits.
"Hurry up!" His mom's voice came from downstairs, causing Blaine to jump and push the glass harder into his skin. He squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back, his breath coming out in short pants as he tried not to cry. He finally registered that his mom had called him and discarded of the glass, cleaning up his cuts and rifling through his wardrobe for a suit to wear to dinner. Crap, he had no long sleeved shirts. Well, his jacket would cover his arms and if somebody told him to take it off he could just say he was cold...
Blaine quickly got dressed and sat back down on his floor, leaning against the end of his bed as he grabbed his phone and dialed Kurt's number.
"Hello? Who is this?"
"It's Blaine." Blaine replied, biting his lip. Maybe Kurt was regretting signing him up for those sessions and giving him his number and -
"Oh, hey! Is everything okay?"
"...I cut myself." Blaine said quietly so that his mom wouldn't hear him.
"Can you tell me why?" Kurt asked calmly.
"My...my dad always has these stupid dinners," Blaine began, blinking back tears despite the fact that Kurt could probably hear the sadness in his voice. "With people from his businesses or whatever and I'm always forced to go and they always make me take a date - the female kind - to make my dad look good I guess and he's having one tonight but I...I really don't want to go. I...I hate pretending to be somebody else."
"Can't you ask your parents if you can stay at home?"
Blaine laughed humorlessly. "Believe me, I've tried before. It's pointless. I just...I don't know how to make it through this dinner."
"Where are you right now?" Kurt asked.
"At home...my mom is probably five seconds away from dragging me out of my room by my shirt collar."
"Okay, you're going to go to this dinner with your head held high - because I know you're strong enough - and when you get home, you're going to call me back and you can moan about it as much as you like."
"Okay," Blaine agreed, just as he heard his mom call for him to go downstairs. "Coming!" He shouted to his mom, covering the phone so that he wouldn't be screeching in Kurt's ear, before removing his hand. "I have to go."
"I'll talk to you later." Kurt said, sounding like he was smiling.
"Okay...and, um, thank you."
"You're welcome."
Blaine put his phone in his pocket, making his way downstairs. Oh great, his date had already arrived - and even worse, she actually looked kind of hopeful.
"Blaine," His mom hissed. "That jacket isn't really...appropriate."
He was wearing a black leather jacket. It wasn't the 'gangster' kind of leather jacket, but it wasn't exactly supposed to be worn with a suit either.
"I couldn't find my suit jacket." Blaine mumbled.
"Well...you'll have to go without a jacket then."
"I'm cold." Blaine said quickly, pulling the jacket around his front like a shield.
"Blaine, stop being silly - just take the jacket off."
"No."
"Blaine," His mom warned, reaching out to touch his arm.
"Don't touch me!" Blaine screamed, jumping backwards. He was aware that his 'date' was staring at him strangely, but he couldn't bring himself to care as he glared at his mother.
"Fine, do what you like," She said, defeated. "But your father isn't going to be happy with you."
Blaine rolled his eyes as he turned around and walked into the kitchen, keeping his arms wrapped around his front. He went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, closing the door and leaning his forehead against it.
"Blaine?"
Blaine jumped a little, not expecting his date to be standing there. She smiled at him nonetheless, her perfect white teeth showing as she fisted her hands lightly into the skirt of her dress.
"Sorry...you scared me."
"It's okay," She smiled. "I'm Chloe."
Blaine nodded, unsure of what to say. She began to take her cardigan off, scaring Blaine immensely. She hung it over the back of a chair before putting her arms out in front of her, palms up.
"Why are you showing me your arms?" Blaine asked, trying not to stare at the obvious scars scattered around her wrists.
"Because I know," She said cryptically. "I know that you cut. You're not very subtle about it and considering I used to, I know the signs."
"What exactly is your point?"
Chloe shrugged. "If you ever want to talk..."
"Chloe I..." Blaine closed his eyes, sighing. "I'm gay."
"I know," She laughed. "I'm not an idiot."
"I'm not sure if I should be offended or not..."
"Don't be," Chloe replied. "I don't want to date you, don't worry. But, if you're in need of a friend then I'm more than willing to fill the position."
"You don't even know me. For all you know I could be a crazy psycho."
"Nah, you're too cute to be a psycho."
Blaine laughed a little. It was the first time he'd really laughed in so long, it felt...nice.
"Blaine, Chloe, we're leaving!" Blaine's mom called.
"My dad is going to kill me." Blaine winced.
"Which arm do you cut?"
Blaine lifted his right arm. "This one, why?"
"Well I don't want to hurt you when I do this," She said, wrapping her arm around Blaine's left arm and holding onto his hand.
"What are you doing?" Blaine hissed.
"Playing along. We are on a date after all."
Blaine laughed, shaking his head and leaving the room with Chloe attached to his arm.
—
"Eat." Chloe whispered in Blaine's ear, poking him harshly.
"I'm not hungry." Blaine replied, pretending to be interested in whatever the hell his dad was talking about.
"This food is delicious!" Chloe announced loudly and excitedly, interrupting the conversation that was occurring around them.
"Indeed," Blaine's mom coughed. "Blaine, you haven't touched yours."
Blaine huffed, taking a small bite of his food. "Yum," He said sarcastically, dropping his fork back to his plate. "Excuse me." He said, running off to the bathroom.
He locked himself in a stall and sat on the floor, leaning his head against the door.
Don't cut, don't cut, don't cut - well, maybe just a little graze...
He pulled a blade out of his pocket and shrugged his jacket off, pulling it across his skin slowly as blood began to bubble out. He did the next one quickly and created a pattern. Slow, fast, slow, fast, slow, fast until his entire arm was covered in red marks.
"Blaine, I know you're in here." Blaine heard his father call.
Oh crap. "I'll be out in a minute." Blaine sniffed, looking down at his arm covered in blood.
"I'm not leaving until you come out of that stall."
"Dad I -"
"I'll wait here all day if I have to."
Blaine mentally punched himself. Why did he think he was smart enough to get away with cutting himself in a bathroom stall? He grabbed some tissue and began to clear up the cuts, trying not to hiss at the sting as he didn't want his dad to hear him. Blaine knew that his arm was still bleeding but he pulled his jacket on nonetheless, left the stall and made his way over to the sinks to wash his hands. His dad could probably tell that he'd been crying but he didn't really care in that moment.
When they got back to the table, Blaine sat next to Chloe and grabbed her hand as his dad was glaring at him expectantly. She looked at him with raised eyebrows but squeezed his hand gently, letting him know that he wasn't alone.
"Blaine," She hissed a few minutes later, feeling something sticky trickle onto her hand. He looked down and saw that there was blood running from under his sleeve down to his and Chloe's hand, and there was lot of it. He quickly detached their hands and hid his hand inside his sleeve, wishing he was anywhere but there - preferably his bathroom so that he could cause some damage to his other arm. "Blaine, it's still on my hand." She whispered into his ear, causing him to look down. Her hand was covered in redness that would be impossible to clean off without someone noticing.
"Blaine?" Blaine's mother said, sounding slightly worried.
"Stop it, stop it, stop it," Blaine repeated quietly, tears threatening to leave his eyes as he watched more blood roll down onto his hand. His breath was coming out in short pants and his hands were shaking.
"I think he's having a panic attack." Chloe said, surprisingly calm.
"Blaine, sweetie, what's wrong?" His mom asked, moving around to the other side of the table and kneeling down in front of him.
Blaine was sweating - beads of sweat rolling down his face along with his salty tears. Blaine's mom removed his jacket, gasping at the sight of his arm as his breathing increased further. Sobs began to leave Blaine's body and he was practically choking, every eye in the restaurant on him.
"M- mom- mommy," Blaine hiccupped, his sobs getting louder. "Mommy." He cried.
"Can we have some help please!?" Blaine's dad shouted, joining his wife in trying to console his crying son.
A staff member rushed over and covered up Kurt's cuts, trying to stop his arm from bleeding as somebody in the restaurant called an ambulance. Chloe cuddled Blaine a little from behind, feeling awful for the teen although they'd only just met.
The ambulance arrived quickly, getting Blaine inside and sedating him as he was practically hyperventilating before proceeding to clean up his cuts.
—
When Blaine woke up he was alone, like always. He attempted to roll over, only to realise that he couldn't because he was practically tied to the bed - what the hell? Blaine whined loudly, thrashing around like a little baby.
"Hey, hey, breathe," A voice came. "I don't want to sedate you again." Oh, it was a nurse.
"Why am I being kept down?"
"You're on suicide watch for forty eight hours."
"Why?" Blaine asked confusedly.
"Because your arm was more blood than skin when we got to the restaurant you were at."
"But I wasn't trying to kill myself," Blaine said frustratedly, tears welling up in his eyes. "Believe me, if I wanted to commit suicide then I'd be dead by now."
"Hospital policy, not mine - sorry."
Blaine sighed, giving up on fighting the restraints. "When can I go home?"
"Well as I said before, you're on suicide watch for two days, and then depending on how you are after that you should be able to leave."
"What do you mean depending on how I am?"
"You lost a lot of blood and we're not sure how much strength you'll have."
"I feel fine."
"Well that's a good sign for you then," The nurse smiled. "I'll leave you to get some sleep. You have a couple of visitors coming tomorrow."
"More sleep?" Blaine groaned.
"Well you could just stare at the ceiling all night if you wanted to, but I don't think it looks very nice personally," She laughed. "Good night, Blaine."
"Night." Blaine sighed, shutting his eyes and trying to forget that the day ever happened.
The next time Blaine woke up, there was a warm hand holding his and a gentle thumb brushing across the back of his hand. He whined a little, stretching as much as he could as he blinked his eyes open and came face-to-face with a smiling Kurt.
"Hi," He said softly. "How do you feel?"
"Like poop," Blaine replied. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"
"How many kids do you think I see a day?" Kurt laughed.
"Fair enough," Blaine said. "Oh, did you hear?"
"Hear what?"
"Apparently I attempted to commit suicide." Blaine said, rolling his eyes.
"It's not funny, Blaine." Kurt said, frowning.
"I didn't try to kill myself though," Blaine groaned. "I didn't want to kill myself."
"Maybe not, but you could have."
"I just want to go home," Blaine said. "Keeping me trapped against the bed is going to have no impact whatsoever."
"Blaine, you do realise how serious self-harm is, right?"
"I do," Blaine replied honestly. "I know that I shouldn't do it but I can't help it. Do you have any idea what it feels like to just...to go through every day feeling trapped? To feel like you don't belong anywhere because nobody is ever going to accept you? Because it sucks."
"Actually I do," Kurt admitted. "I got bullied in high school too, for the exact same reason as you. I got shoved around and teased. I got called names and I got nasty stuff spray painted onto my locker door. My first kiss was stolen from me by a jock who was too afraid to come out, and then he threatened to kill me, so yeah...I know what it's like. But you can get through it Blaine, I promise you."
"How?" Blaine asked brokenly. "How do I stop feeling suffocated?"
"Hey," A feminine voice came from the doorway - Chloe. "Is it okay if I come in?"
"Yeah." Blaine smiled, collecting himself.
"Is this your boyfriend?" Chloe asked with raised eyebrows.
"No!" Kurt exclaimed way too quickly. "No, I..."
"He's the guidance counsellor at my school."
"Temporary, may I add."
"Temporary?" Blaine asked.
"I'm just filling in while your other counsellor is on maternity leave, I'm not staying there permanently."
"Oh," Blaine said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "But...I like you." He frowned.
"Don't worry," Kurt laughed. "I'll be around for a while."
"Oh, um, this is Chloe. Chloe, this is Kurt."
"Nice to meet you." Chloe laughed, sitting down next to Kurt.
"Have you um...have you talked to my parents at all?" Blaine asked, Chloe shaking her head in reply. Blaine sighed, shutting his eyes. "They haven't even visited me."
"I know that your dad was kind of, um...mad last night. He lost his business deal, I think."
"Oh boo hoo, he'll get another one."
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, noticing the slight hint of anger Blaine seemed to have since he woke up.
"No, I'm not okay!" Blaine shouted. "I'm chained to a freaking bed, my parents don't give a damn about me and my arms are itching to be ripped open, of course I'm not okay!"
"I'm sorry." Kurt said quietly, releasing Blaine's hand and putting his own hand on his lap.
"I wanna go home!" Blaine cried, beginning to thrash around on the bed again. "I don't want to be here!" He sobbed as two doctors rushed into his room and attempted to calm him down. He wouldn't stop crying and shouting however, and they tried to sedate him. "Get off of me!" He screamed, kicking any part of the doctor he could reach. "Kurt!" He cried, his hand opening and closing as if he was trying to get ahold of him. "Please, please, stop it," He cried, running out of energy as his voice went raw. "Stop." He said brokenly, his chest heaving.
Kurt took his hand again and squeezed it gently. "They won't do anything to you, I won't let them, but you need to calm down."
Blaine nodded, his breath beginning to even out a little as he gradually calmed down. He ended up falling asleep anyway after using so much energy, gripping Kurt's hand tightly.
—
"Your mom brought this for you," A nurse said, holding out a stuffed Eeyore toy as she entered Blaine's room, causing Kurt to raise his eyebrows. "She said it was your favourite."
"What's the point? I can't hold it." Blaine frowned, flexing his hand anyway as the nurse brought the toy over to him. She was right, it was his absolute favourite thing in the world and the only reason he'd been sleeping without it was because he'd either been sedated or used up far too much energy.
"Well we have to release your hands for you to eat dinner, unless you want to be spoon-fed, so..."
"Hallelujah!" Blaine said in sing-song tone.
Kurt laughed, rubbing his thumb across Blaine's hand as the nurse let his hands out. As soon as Blaine could move he reached out for the toy that was sitting on the edge of his bed and hugged it close, sniffing it a little.
"I'll go get you something to eat." The nurse said, leaving the room.
Blaine curled up on his side and hugged the Disney character close, shutting his eyes. Kurt smiled sadly at the sight. That was the first time he could really see how much pain Blaine was in, without the tears. He reached out and carded his fingers through Blaine's loose curls, smiling as Blaine's frown slowly disappeared. It didn't quite make him smile, but the teen had clearly relaxed a little and opened his eyes up to look at the guidance counsellor.
"I miss being happy." He said. There was no emotion in his voice at all, but it was evident how much he meant it.
"I know." Kurt replied just as the nurse returned with some food for Blaine.
She handed him the tray and left the room, letting him know that she'd be back in ten minutes. Blaine sat up and tucked his Eeyore toy between his back and the pillow, grabbing the spoon (the nurse had told him he wasn't allowed a knife or fork incase he tried to cut himself with them) that was in the bowl and scooping up some of the slop, scrunching his nose up in distaste.
"I think I'd rather starve." He said, dropping the spoon back in the bowl.
"You need to eat something." Kurt pointed out.
"I'll eat the bread." Blaine said defensively, ripping off a corner of the bread and putting it in his mouth, scrunching his face up at the flavour. "Maybe not...God, if they're going to chain me to the bed and hold me here against my will they could at least give me edible food."
Kurt laughed. "I'll go get you something from the cafeteria."
"Thank you." Blaine smiled.
Kurt returned a while later with a small tub of pasta and a bottle of apple juice. He had no idea if Blaine even liked either of those things, but he didn't know what else to get.
"Juice, juice, juice, juice!" Blaine said happily, making grabby hands for the bottle.
Kurt laughed, handing the items to Blaine. Blaine eagerly took the cap off the bottle and took a large gulp before putting it back on, opening his pasta and eating a few bites before stopping.
"Blaine...do you have an eating disorder?" Blaine shook his head in reply to Kurt's question, grabbing his toy and sitting it on his lap. "Are you sure? It's just...you seem quite reluctant to eat."
"I'm just not hungry." Blaine said, putting the pasta on the table by his bed and lying back down, cuddling Eeyore happily before frowning.
"What's up?"
"I just...my mom came down here to give me this but she didn't give it to me herself, she had to give it to the nurse to give to me. Why aren't they making any effort to visit me? Am I that much of a disappointment?"
"You aren't a disappointment, Blaine," Kurt said. "If they won't come and see you, it's their problem. It's not your fault at all, okay?"
Blaine nodded, reaching out for Kurt's hand with one hand, clutching his toy with the other.
"I have to ask though...why Eeyore?"
"At my last school I...I was attacked. My mom bought it for me when I was in hospital because I loved Winnie the Pooh when I was little and I sort of became attached to it. I can't sleep without it...I guess she cares somewhat."
"Blaine..." Kurt sighed, interrupted by the nurse entering the room.
"No," Blaine whined. "Please, please, please let me just have a little while longer. I swear I'm not going to do anything - I was left on my own for a whole five minutes and I didn't even attempt to get out of bed, just please don't tie me back down."
"Blaine, I'm not supposed to..."
"Please," Blaine begged, tearing up unintentionally. "I hate not being able to move, it makes me feel even more trapped than I already do. You can sit in the corner of the room and watch me if you want to."
"Blaine..."
"I'll be with him the whole time, if that helps?" Kurt jumped in, squeezing Blaine's hand.
"Okay, fine, just a little while longer."
"Thank you." Blaine said, sighing with relief.
"You're lucky I like you." The nurse smiled, leaving the room.
"Do you want me to come back tomorrow?" Kurt asked.
"You don't mind?" Blaine asked, a little shocked.
"Of course I don't mind."
"But you already spent the whole of today here, I can't ask you to do the same tomorrow."
"You're not asking, I'm offering."
"Yes please," Blaine said shyly, looking up at Kurt through his eyelashes. "I don't like being by myself...not here anyway."
"I don't think I would either." Kurt laughed.
Blaine smiled a little, hugging his teddy and holding Kurt's hand tighter as he shut his eyes and snuggled into the pillows, drifting to sleep within a few minutes.
Kurt smiled at the sight, absentmindedly running his thumb over the back of Blaine's hand. He knew that he was in way too deep, but he couldn't stop himself from focusing every bit of his attention on Blaine. He knew that he shouldn't feel the way he did about a sixteen year old, let alone about one that went to the school he was working at - even if it was temporary - but he couldn't help it. Kurt wasn't even sure why he was feeling the way he was, he'd known Blaine for two days and he hadn't exactly been himself during that time - not that Kurt could blame him. But he was cute, and he was really sweet, even when he was shouting and crying.
He knew that he couldn't act on his feelings, but that wasn't going to stop him from spending time with Blaine - especially as he promised the teen that he'd be there for him and help him through everything. Kurt watched Blaine as he slept; he had one hand fisted in the fabric of his teddy and the other hand clutching Kurt's hand, his knees bent up to his chest.
—
"Glad to be going home?" Kurt asked with a smile as he lead Blaine to his car.
Blaine had been released the following night and as his mom had dropped off a pair of pyjamas when she brought him his Eeyore toy, he put those on to go home in. The hospital couldn't seem to get ahold of Blaine's parents, and he wouldn't usually be allowed to go home without them, but as Kurt had been with him 24/7 they let him go.
"Yes and no," Blaine admitted, clutching his toy as he climbed into the car and pulled his seatbelt across himself. "Yes, because I hated being in there, but no because my parents didn't make any effort at all to see me, and my dad lost his business offer, so I don't really want to face them."
"If you need me, you can call me at any time, okay?"
Blaine smiled and nodded, leaning his head against the seat. They spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence, until Blaine was finally home. He hugged Kurt and thanked him before leaving the car and making his way to the front door of his house. He knocked - not having his keys - and waited.
Only the wait seemed to last forever, as his parents weren't opening the door. He knocked again, trying to look through the peephole but being unable to see anything.
"Let me in," Blaine huffed under his breath, wondering over to the window and trying to look inside. Nothing. He made his way over to the other window to find a note taped to it.
'Blaine - We'll be back on Sunday, Mom & Dad'
Blaine screwed the note up, throwing it on the floor and leaning his head against the window, trying not to cry. Kurt got out of the car and made his way over to Blaine, not knowing what was happening.
"What happened?"
Blaine looked at Kurt and broke down immediately, sliding to the floor and burying his face in his knees, crying hard.
"Blaine," Kurt frowned, sitting down next to Blaine and putting his arms around him. Blaine hugged Eeyore close to his chest, leaning into Kurt's arms as he cried. "Shh, calm down. What happened?"
"Th-they left," Blaine cried. "I don't know w-where, it ju-just said 'we'll be back on Sunday.' I ha-hate them."
"Shh," Kurt said softly. "You're staying with me."
"Kurt, I -"
"Don't you dare argue with me. You have nowhere else to go, Blaine. You can't get into your house and you can't sleep out here."
"O-okay." Blaine hiccupped, taking Kurt's hand when he stood up and offered it to him. They walked back to the car and made their way to Kurt's apartment, curling up on the sofa with hot chocolate and a movie.
Blaine rested his head on Kurt's shoulder, cuddling his Eeyore close and trying to block his thoughts out. "If I try to get up, please stop me. I really need to cut right now, but I don't want to."
"Okay," Kurt whispered. He noticed the way Blaine said he 'needed' to cut but he didn't 'want' to, and he realised that cutting for Blaine really was a need and he wasn't just doing it for the sake of it. Unfortunately for Blaine, however, Kurt fell asleep before him and his wrists were itching for attention. He tried to focus his attention on the movie that was playing, but he couldn't. He dug his nails into his wrist, hoping to split the skin open. Unfortunately, the previous cuts had closed up too much for him to open up and he was forced to look for something else to use. They'd searched his pockets when he was in the hospital and took his blade from his jacket, so he couldn't use that.
Blaine got up and ventured into Kurt's kitchen, taking a knife from the drawer. He slowly dragged it across his arm, realising how much he'd missed the feeling of a blade on his skin.
"Blaine..." Oh god, oh god, oh god. "Blaine, give me the knife." He wasn't mad, as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, he was more...disappointed.
Blaine looked up at Kurt for a second before looking back down at his wrist. He cut another line just under the first one, just as slowly as he had previously.
"Blaine, please," Kurt said, slowly inching towards the teen. Still, Blaine ignored him and created another mark on his arm. Kurt was now close enough to clearly see the skin splitting open, and the blood bubbling out, and he kind of wanted to throw up. "Blaine, you're going to end up in hospital again." Another cut. "Please give me the knife." Another cut. Kurt was silent, and realised that Blaine stopped cutting at the same time. He carefully took the knife from Blaine's hand and placed it out of reach before taking ahold of his hands, ignoring the blood that ended up on his hands.
Blaine looked up at Kurt, a tear falling from his eye. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, no," Kurt said, brushing his fingers though Blaine's hair. "No, Blaine. You have nothing to apologise for."
"I don't know how to stop," Blaine cried. "I want to stop."
"Let's go get you cleaned up." Kurt said, leading Blaine into the bathroom. He cleaned Blaine's cuts up first before wrapping his wrist in a bandage. He looked up at Blaine and realised that he was staring directly into his beautiful hazel eyes. Kurt's heart pounded against his chest as he slowly leaned forward, pressing his lips to Blaine's ever-so-softly and cupping his cheek. It took him a minute to realise that Blaine wasn't kissing him back and he pulled away, looking guilty. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have assumed that you'd want me to kiss you and -"
"I did," Blaine said. "I just...I've never kissed anyone before. I don't know how."
Kurt smiled softly. "It's easy. Just do what feels right." He said, leaning halfway in but waiting for Blaine to lean the rest of the way in so that he could ensure he wasn't misreading things.
Blaine did lean forward, however, and pressed their lips back together. Blaine tentatively moved his lips a little, tilting his head to the side. Kurt smiled a little against his lips and took a little bit of control, moving closer and deepening the kiss. Blaine brought his hand up to tangle his fingers in Kurt's hair, squeezing his eyes shut as he kissed Kurt back with equal passion until they pulled away, panting.
"I'm making out with a student in my bathroom..." Kurt mumbled. "I'm so screwed."
Blaine looked up at Kurt through his eyelashes, looking so cute and innocent.
"You're such a bad influence on me." Kurt breathed, all but pouncing on Blaine as he reconnected their lips, pushing him backwards until he was straddling the teen's waist, kissing him deeply.
"Stop," Blaine said, pushing Kurt away. "I'm not ready to...to..."
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, sitting up and climbing off of Blaine. "I shouldn't have...god, I'm sorry."
"Stop apologising."
Kurt sighed, pulling Blaine back up into a sitting position and smiling dopily at him. "You're so cute."
Blaine blushed, looking down at the floor.
"It's true!" Kurt exclaimed, lifting Blaine's head up by his chin. "You're gorgeous."
"Have you seen yourself?" Blaine mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with the guidance counsellor. Kurt chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of Blaine's head and leaving his face buried there.
"Where do we go from here?" Kurt asked, breathing in the scent of Blaine's shampoo.
"I don't know," Blaine replied. "I really like you."
"I really like you too, but I could get fired."
"I know," Blaine frowned. "I don't want to risk you your job."
"What if I want to risk it?" Kurt asked, causing Blaine to look up at him. "I know that I've only known you for like, three days, but honestly...I haven't felt this way about somebody in so long and I think you're worth fighting for."
"Why would you risk your job for me?"
"I care about you," Kurt replied with a shrug. "You're special to me."
Blaine moved closer and snuggled into Kurt's arms, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in his chest. "You mean everything to me right now. It sounds stupid but you're the only person I have right now."
"So...are we doing this?"
"I want to," Blaine said. "But if you don't want to risk your job then I get it."
"Shut up," Kurt laughed. "You know that I want this."
"I just...when we're in school...when I come to talk to you, I need you to be my counsellor still, not my boyfriend. I need that more than anything right now, if I ever want to get through this."
"I think that's probably smart anyway, otherwise people would probably find out about us." Kurt chuckled.
"I know, but I mean like...the stuff we talk about, it has to be productive."
"I know," Kurt replied, kissing the top of Blaine's head. "You're going to get through this."
Blaine just nodded against Kurt's chest, cuddling him tighter.
"Come on, let's go to bed." Kurt said softly, helping Blaine up from the floor.
They were half way to the bedroom when Blaine tugged on Kurt's arm, "Eeyore."
"Where is he?" Kurt asked, not judging Blaine in the slightest.
"I don't know, I kind of blacked out when I went to the kitchen."
"He's probably in the living room." Kurt said, going into the living room to check.
He returned holding Eeyore out in front of him with a smile on his face, handing the toy to Blaine and leading him into the bedroom. He allowed Blaine to snuggle up to his side with his head resting on his chest, the stuffed Disney character tightly clutched in Blaine's hand as he threw his arm across Kurt's stomach.
—
Blaine stayed at Kurt's house for the rest of the week, borrowing his clothes and pyjamas, until he finally returned home on Sunday. His parents were finally home and let him in the house. He followed his mom into the living room, sitting down on the sofa and sitting Eeyore on his lap.
"Blaine, son -" Blaine's father was cut off by Blaine speaking.
"You left me," Blaine said. "You didn't even visit me while I was practically chained to a hospital bed for no reason at all and then you just took off without even telling me. What if I had nowhere to stay? Would you have even care if I slept on the streets while you were gone?"
"Blaine, we went to look at...treatment centres," Blaine's mom said softly. "It's obvious you have a...problem, but you can't live like that Blaine."
"Wait...what do you mean treatment centres?" Blaine asked cautiously.
"Well, you'd stay there for a few weeks or so, talk to a therapist, take medicine if you needed to. We looked at some in California and -"
"California!? I don't want to go to California! I want to stay here!" Blaine shouted, gripping his toy tightly.
"You really don't have a say in the matter, Blaine," His father commented. "After that little stunt you pulled -"
"Are you kidding me?" Blaine exclaimed. "You do realise that by sending me away to treat my depression I'm just going to get even more depressed, right? I'm already getting help from the counsellor at school and -"
"A school counsellor can't do anything, Blaine, don't be silly." His father snickered.
"That's funny, because he seems to be the only one that cares about me right now. Where were you two while he sat by my bedside all day? Oh right, trying to ship me off to another state because you're ashamed to have a son who cuts himself!"
"It's not our fault that you've chosen to live this way."
"I didn't choose this! I didn't choose to be gay, Dad. I didn't choose to have parents who couldn't give a damn about me the same way I didn't choose to be teased and made fun of every single day of my life. I don't consciously choose to cut my skin open, but people like you don't exactly help!"
"Stop being dramatic, Blaine," His mom stepped in. "It's just for a few weeks and you'll be back in no time -"
"But it won't be for a few weeks! They can't cure me just like that, mom -"
"They're doctors, it's their profession."
"Oh my god," Blaine laughed. "Well then I suppose you could find somebody who specialises in curing people of their 'gayness' to fix that too, right?"
"Don't be silly, Blaine."
"You know, it'd be nice if you actually listened to me and what I need for once instead of thinking about what makes you look best." Blaine said, storming out of the room and coming face to face with...his brother. "Coop?"
"What the hell is going on?" Cooper asked, noting how his parents were both standing by the doorway of the living room.
"Oh, just our parents being their usual superficial selves, nothing new." Blaine said, making his way upstairs. He grabbed his phone and dialed Kurt's number.
"Hey you!" Kurt's cheery voice came.
"Distract me," Blaine said. "I'm about to murder my parents...or myself, whichever sounds easiest."
"Woah, what happened?"
"I...I'll talk to you about it tomorrow, just please stop me from doing something I'll regret."
"Okay...um...I found a stray kitten today."
"Well that's not going to give me something happy to think about!"
"I wasn't finished," Kurt laughed. "I took him to the animal rescue centre and they're looking after him and trying to find his owner. But he wouldn't let go of my shirt - he just dug his claws into it - so I took him round to the cages and there were loads of other little kittens who didn't have homes and I adopted one."
"You got a kitten!?" Blaine exclaimed excitedly. "What's his name? When can I meet him?"
"Slow down," Kurt chuckled. "He doesn't have a name yet, I kind of...when I adopted him I...I sort of adoptedhimforyou."
"For me?"
"Well I don't think your parents would let you keep him at home, but yeah...I thought he could be like...I don't know, a substitute best friend or something."
"Kurt," Blaine said sweetly, grinning for the first time in forever. "Can you send me a photo? I need to think of the cutest names!"
"Sure," Kurt laughed. "He's the cutest little thing ever, Blaine. You're gonna love him."
"What animal don't I love?" Blaine laughed as Cooper entered his room. "Uh, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later okay?"
"Okay."
"And send me that photo!"
"Goodbye Blaine." Kurt laughed, hanging up.
"Hey Squirt," Cooper smiled, closing the door and making his way over to Blaine's bed, sitting on the edge of it. "So um, mom and dad told me."
Blaine frowned. Of course, his first burst of real happiness had to come crashing down the minute it happened.
"I'm not judging you," Cooper assured him. "I just...why?"
"I...I started after the attack. I didn't mean to. I was making a sandwich and when I went to slice the bread I accidentally cut myself and I realised that when I did it - for that split second - I wasn't thinking about anything else. So I moved it down a little and cut the back of my hand slowly, and the same thing happened. So I kept doing it, whenever I felt upset, and it turned into something that I don't know how to stop."
"Maybe the treatment centre isn't a bad idea? I'm not saying that they're right, and I don't know the full story, but you'd get help."
"But I don't want to leave Ohio. They're saying it would just be a few weeks but it wouldn't, Coop. It's really bad, and no matter how hard I try not to do it, the tiniest thing can make me cave."
"Why don't you want to leave Ohio? I thought you hated it here."
"Because for the first time in forever, I have somebody that actually cares, and I know that if I leave I'm just going to go back to feeling alone and it's going to make me even worse. It's still really bad but I have made progress and I'm getting help by myself, but that isn't good enough for them. I just want a chance to prove to myself that I'm strong enough to make it through this, without them pushing me into anything."
"I get it," Cooper replied. "But this is our parents we're talking about. How exactly are you planning on getting them to agree with this?"
"Run away?" Blaine suggested. "I don't know. I don't think it's worth even trying because they don't listen. If it doesn't make them look good, then they don't care. And after I completely humiliated them in the restaurant the other day - however I did that - there's even less of a chance of them listening to me."
"I'll talk to them, but I don't know if they'll agree."
"I doubt it," Blaine replied as his phone buzzed. He opened the text from Kurt and clicked on the image, smiling at the photo of the kitten. It was small and white, with random splashes of ginger covering it's fur.
"Cute," Cooper commented, glancing at the photo of the kitten. "Whose cat?"
"Believe it or not, it's mine." Blaine laughed, going back to the text page.
Blaine: Caramel?
"I'm confused...wait, who's Kurt?" Blaine bit his lip and smiled at Cooper a little. "Blaine!" Cooper laughed. "I want all the details."
Kurt: Wow, so creative Blaine.
Blaine: Well do YOU have any better suggestions?
"You can't tell anybody," Blaine said.
"Is he like...some undercover detective from the CIA or something?"
"What have you been watching?" Blaine laughed. "No, he's not from the CIA, he's just...older."
"How much older?"
Kurt: Oscar?
Blaine: It's cute, but I don't know...
"Um...thirteen years?" Blaine squeaked. "And he's kind of the school guidance counselor."
"Blaine!" Cooper admonished.
"What?" Blaine asked. "It's only a temporary job."
"He's older than me!"
"Shh!"
"Sorry," Cooper whispered. "But Blaine...you can't be serious."
"I really, really like him Cooper," Blaine admitted. "He's the only person that's been there for me and he...Cooper, he adopted a kitten for me."
Cooper sighed. "He treats you right, though?"
"Yes," Blaine sighed. "He treats me better than mom and dad."
"Good, or I might have to beat him up."
"Shut up," Blaine laughed, nudging Cooper playfully.
Kurt: Biscuit? Peanut? Pretzel?
Blaine: Where the hell are you getting these names and why do you want to name our kitten after a snack?
Kurt: You suggested Caramel!
"Oh wow," Cooper laughed, reading Blaine's texts. "Are you sure he's thirteen years older than you and not just thirteen years old?"
"Shush," Blaine laughed.
Blaine: Okay...I admit it...I kind of like Pretzel
Kurt: Aww, you admitted that I'm right ;)
Blaine: Hush
"You guys are gross." Cooper commented.
Kurt: When can you come over? Pretzel wants to meet you :)
Blaine bit his lip, looking up at Cooper. "Please help me get out of the house?"
"How the hell am I supposed to do that? I'm surprised they haven't put bars on your windows and doors yet."
"I don't know." Blaine whined.
"I have an idea..." Cooper said suddenly. "Wait here." He said, rushing downstairs. He was back a while later with a huge grin on his face. "I told them I'm taking you to see a movie."
"Thank you!" Blaine said happily.
"But...this means I get to meet your boyfriend."
"Coop," Blaine whined. "I wasn't supposed to tell anybody. He could get fired."
"I'm not going to tell anyone, I swear."
"Wait..."
Blaine: I can come over, but my brother wants to meet you. I kind of let it slip that we're...together.
Kurt: WHAT!? HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!
Blaine: Relax, he's a giant teddy bear. He promised he wouldn't tell anybody. Plus it's the only way I can get out of the house.
Kurt: Okay, okay, brother can come
Blaine: Brother is called Cooper :)
"Okay, let's go." Blaine said, looking up at Cooper.
—
"He's so cute!" Blaine exclaimed when Kurt opened the door, a small kitten attached to his shoulder.
"He is trying to rip my shoulder in half," Kurt winced, lifting the kitten off of him and handing him to Blaine. The kitten let out a small meow as Blaine held him up in front of his face, smiling and tickling his stomach. "Aww, he likes you."
"Hi there, little guy," Blaine cooed, scratching the fur underneath the kittens head as Pretzel began to purr loudly. "You're so cute."
Kurt laughed, stepping to the side so Blaine and Cooper could enter his apartment. Blaine went and sat down on the sofa, setting Pretzel in his lap. The kitten wasn't happy with that placement, however, and tried to climb his way up Blaine's shirt. Giggling, Blaine laid down on the sofa and allowed the kitten to climb all over him.
"I'm Kurt," Kurt said, turning his attention away from his adorable boyfriend and holding his hand out for Cooper to shake.
"Cooper," He replied, shaking Kurt's hand. "I know that I've only just met you, but thank you for looking after him. I know that he doesn't have a lot of people willing to look out for him, and our parents are more uptight than you'd believe, but I know that you've been there for him. And you get extra brownie points for the kitten - he's always wanted one."
Kurt laughed a little, watching as Blaine giggled as Pretzel climbed over his face. "I can tell," He replied. "I don't think I've seen him this happy before."
"I think the kitten might actually be kind of therapeutic for him," Cooper pointed out. "I mean, look at him. He doesn't look like depressed teenager, he looks like an excited nine year old."
"I love him," Blaine cooed from the sofa, holding the kitten above his head and pressing kisses to his face. "Thank you." He said to Kurt, smiling widely.
"I think you're right," Kurt said to Cooper, smiling as he made his way over to the sofa and sat on the edge, looking down at his boyfriend. "You're welcome."
Blaine sat up and set Pretzel down on the floor, grinning as he trodded around the apartment curiously before curling up on the floor by Blaine's feet.
"I'm gonna go," Cooper said. "I'll be back in an hour or so, I really don't want to get mom and dad on my case."
"Okay," Blaine smiled. "And thank you."
"See ya Squirt," Cooper grinned, ruffling Blaine's hair and laughing when he slapped his hand away. "And Kurt, if you hurt my baby brother I will kill you."
"Go away." Blaine groaned.
Kurt just laughed, allowing Blaine to rest his head against his shoulder and cuddle up to his arm. Cooper was laughing as he left the apartment, leaving the boys to cuddle up to each other on the sofa.
"Cooper's...interesting."
"Ugh, what did he say to you?"
"He thanked me, actually," Kurt replied. "For looking after you."
"Really?" Blaine asked incredulously. "I thought he was going to decapitate you. He looked like he was going to slap me when I told him how old you are."
"He's just looking out for you. He loves you." Kurt said, emphasising his last point.
"He's a dork."
"Stop changing the subject," Kurt said. "I know you feel like everybody hates you, but it's not true - and Cooper is a prime example. You do have people that care about you, Blaine. You have me, Cooper, Chloe - I think that was her name - and Pretzel."
"Pretzel doesn't count," Blaine laughed. "He's not a human."
"But he still loves you," Kurt said, nodding towards the kitten on the floor who was clawing at Blaine's leg, trying to climb up it. "And as for me," He said, cupping Blaine's cheek and staring into his eyes. "I'm crazy about you."
"My parents are trying to send me to a treatment centre in California," Blaine blurted out, tearing up. "I don't want to go."
"California?"
"If you knew my parents you'd understand their need to look like a stable family, and obviously having a depressed teenager ruins that image."
"Maybe...maybe it's a good idea?" Kurt said tentatively. "I mean...you want to stop cutting and I can only do so much to help you. I'm a guidance counsellor, I'm supposed to advise you on what college to attend, not how to stop cutting."
"I can't...I can't be in California," Blaine replied, staring at Kurt incredulously. "I'm happier than I've been in so long, and you're the reason for that. If I get shipped off to California I'm just gonna go back to square one."
"I'll still visit." Kurt pointed out.
"No," Blaine said, tears leaving his eyes as his breathing quickened. "I...I need you to be on my side. I can't - I can't, Kurt," Blaine cried. "Please just be on my side."
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, wrapping his arms around Blaine. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
Blaine snuggled into Kurt's arms, trying to even out his breath. "I can get help here. I don't need to be in California."
Kurt just kissed the top of Blaine's head, shutting his eyes and breathing in his scent. Pretzel was still trying to climb his way up Blaine's leg, meowing cutely until Blaine gave in and lifted him up onto his lap. Pretzel licked Blaine's hand happily before curling up on his lap and drifting to sleep.
"I haven't cut since the day I got out of hospital." Blaine said randomly.
"I know," Kurt said, smiling. "And I'm so proud of you."
"I don't know how to make my parents change their minds," He said, scratching Pretzels ears as the kitten purred happily. "They're the most uptight people ever."
"I could talk to them?" Kurt suggested. "I could tell them about your sessions and the progress tracker we made." Kurt and Blaine had created a progress sheet for Blaine to fill out. He would cross off every day that he didn't cut and highlight the ones that he did. Kurt had also given him a little notebook and told him to write about it every time he cut or felt like he needed to cut, which helped Blaine more than he thought it would.
"Please," Blaine said. "I don't know if it'll help but I'll do anything right now."
"I'll have to do it on Wednesday, the day after your session, or they'll wonder how I knew about the whole 'California' thing."
"Okay." Blaine agreed, reaching for Kurt's hand and clasping it tightly.
—
Kurt called Blaine's parents that Wednesday afternoon, and he was supposed to be going to his house to talk to them about the issue. He was slightly nervous, as he knew Blaine and Cooper were going to be there and he couldn't let anything slip that might give away the fact that he was head over heels in love with Blaine, but he'd do anything to help the teen out.
The door was answered by Cooper, who smiled at him uneasily. He followed him into the living room where Blaine, his mom and his dad were sat. He sat down on the other sofa next to Cooper clearing his throat awkwardly.
"Can we make this fast?" Blaine's father snapped, looking at Kurt pointedly. "I have things to do."
"Um, yeah," Kurt squeaked out, trying to collect himself. "So uh, as you know, I've been seeing Blaine twice a week and talking to him about his...his problem," He said, staring down at the floor as he said the word. "And he told me yesterday that you were thinking about sending him to some sort of treatment place, but he said he really doesn't want to go -"
"What exactly is your point?" Blaine's mom asked. "He's told us that he doesn't want to go, but it doesn't matter. It's the only way he's going to get better."
"Actually, he's making a lot of progress. When I first started seeing Blaine, he told me that he cut at least twice a day and now he can go days at a time without cutting. We made a progress tracker and he marks of the days that he hasn't cut, I have it with me actually..." He trailed off, rifling through his bag for the paper. He handed the sheet to Mr and Mrs Anderson and looked at Blaine nervously as they looked at the paper. Blaine smiled at him a little, but it was evident that it was a forced smile. "As you can see," He continued. "Blaine's gone almost a week without cutting and -"
"But he's still cutting, so he therefore isn't fixed yet." Kurt winced at Blaine's fathers words. He could see the teen curling in on himself, his hazel eyes watering as Cooper crossed the room and sat beside him, rubbing his back.
"Look Mr..."
"Hummel." Kurt squeaked.
"Look Mr Hummel," Blaine's mom said. "I think we know what's best for our son, and what's best for him is treatment. The professional kind."
"With all due respect, Blaine talks to me almost every day about what's going on and I know for a fact that you haven't had his best interest at heart recently -"
"You need to leave." Mr Anderson said.
"Maybe if you actually put your sons needs before your own and paid a little attention to him," Kurt continued, unfazed by Blaine's father. "You would have noticed what was happening before it escalated to what it is now."
"Coop." Blaine whined, hiding his face in Cooper's shoulder as he dug his nails into his wrist. Nobody else in the room seemed to notice the distress they were causing Blaine, and continued going at each other's throats while Cooper tried to calm his little brother down.
"What would you know?" Mr Anderson asked. "You're not a parent, you don't know how to help a kid."
"He's not a kid. He's a sixteen year old boy who's capable of making decisions for himself." Kurt retorted.
Blaine darted from the room, running up to the bathroom with Cooper chasing behind him. "Blaine, stop!"
He probably shouldn't have, but Kurt got up and ran after him too, finding Cooper standing by the bathroom door as Blaine frantically cut lines into his arm before doing the same to the other arm. His parents soon joined them, Mr Anderson pushing past the men to get inside. He tried to grab the blade from Blaine, only to be shoved back harshly by Blaine as he screamed, "Don't touch me!" And created another red mark on his arm. His shirt was covered in blood, as were his arms.
"Blaine, stop," Cooper said as gentle as possible, although it was clear he was freaking out. "Please stop."
"Go away!" Blaine shouted, continuing to cut his arm. Once there were cuts covering the entirety of Blaine's forearms, he pulled his shirt off, not caring how much blood got on it, and began to slice shallowly into his stomach.
"Blaine!" Kurt cried, darting into the room. "Please, please stop." He begged, tears clouding his eyes.
"Why should I?" Blaine asked, tears running down his face. "Nobody cares."
"I care," Kurt replied, tears leaving his eyes. "I care so, so much Blaine. Please don't do this."
"Nobody will miss me." Blaine said, creating a long line across his stomach.
"I will miss you!" Kurt cried, unable to stop the tears that were pouring out of his eyes. "Somebody call an ambulance for god sake!" He shouted to Blaine's family before turning his attention back to Blaine.
"No you won't. I'm just a stupid sixteen year old who cries too much." Cooper was already pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing the number as Blaine pulled the blade over his skin again and again.
"No you're not," Kurt choked out. "You're everything, Blaine!" Blaine ignored him, continuing to create cuts wherever he could. "I love you!" Kurt screamed, causing Blaine to freeze.
"Kurt..." Blaine said, realising what he'd done. "Kurt." He cried, dropping the blade.
"Blaine," Kurt hiccupped. "Blaine...I can't - I can't lose you." He sobbed, noticing how Blaine was beginning to get a little woozy.
"Help." Blaine cried. Kurt sat down on the floor, taking Blaine into his arms as they both cried, waiting for the ambulance.
"Please, please don't close your eyes," Kurt cried as Blaine's eyes began to droop. "Don't you dare shut your eyes, Blaine."
"I love you too." Blaine choked out as his eyes slipped shut.
"No," Kurt cried. "Nononono, wake up. Please, I need you," He sobbed as Cooper joined him on the floor and tried to find Blaine's pulse. "Please don't leave me."
"He still has a pulse," Cooper said, trying to keep his own tears under control. "It doesn't feel very healthy though."
"Where is that freaking ambulance!?" Kurt cried, staring down at his boyfriend.
—
His mother was a beautiful woman. She had long brown hair and beautiful blue eyes that shimmered when she smiled. She was beautiful on the inside too; always making sure he was happy no matter what.
When she died, he felt like his heart was ripped to shreds and it would be impossible to fit them back together. He stayed at the hospital with his father all night, refusing sleep and crying until the sun shone through the windows.
When he was twenty nine, he met the boy who could quite possibly be the love of his life. He was damaged, however. The boy was very sad, and would hurt himself to make him feel better. He loved him, but the boy didn't quite know how to let him in.
—
When they got to the hospital, Kurt almost collapsed. He would've, had it not been for Cooper strength. Cooper eased him down onto the concrete just outside the hospital doors, giving him a moment to try and regain some strength. Kurt leaned his head against the brick wall behind him, closing his eyes and trying to breathe. He turned his head, vomiting over the ground as hot tears escaped his eyes. Cooper rubbed his back gently, waiting until he was finished to speak.
"Are you okay?"
"I...I really...hate hospitals," Kurt replied. "My...my mom d-died when...I was...was eight."
"Do you want me to take you home?"
Kurt shook his head frantically. "I need...need to be here...for Blaine."
"Okay," Cooper replied. "Just let me know when you're feeling okay enough to go inside."
Kurt nodded, closing his eyes and digging the palms of his hands into his eyes.
When they finally made it inside, they were told that they had to stay in the waiting room as the doctors were still in with Blaine. Cooper was disgusted at the fact that his parents weren't there for their son, but he wasn't really surprised.
"Mr Anderson?" Cooper looked up and saw Blaine's doctor. Kurt and Cooper both stood up to face the doctor, Cooper trying to find his voice.
"How...how is he?"
"He's alive," The doctor said. "But he lost a lot of blood, and he went into cardiac arrest for a few minutes."
"I...can we see him?"
"He's asleep at the moment, and he might be a little skittish when he wakes up. He'll be quite weak, considering the amount of blood he lost and his weight."
"I think he has an eating disorder," Kurt said. "He hardly ever eats and when he does it's hardly anything."
The doctor nodded. "I'll talk to you later about what steps to take once Blaine has recovered and how to help him."
"Thank you." Cooper said, nodding in understanding.
When they entered Blaine's room, Kurt tucked his Eeyore toy between his arm and his body, smiling when he shuffled a little in his sleep and tried to cuddle up to it. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Blaine's forehead, carding his fingers through his curls. Kurt had made sure to get Blaine's Eeyore toy, saying to Cooper, "He can't sleep without it."
"He looks so peaceful." Kurt commented, sitting down next to Cooper.
"You really love him, don't you?"
"It's crazy," Kurt said. "I haven't even known him a month..."
"Time isn't important when it comes to love..." Cooper commented before chuckling. "Blaine would be laughing so hard right now, hearing me say that."
Kurt smiled, reaching out to hold Blaine's hand. "What do you think is going to happen when he gets out of hospital?"
"I'm not letting him go to California," Cooper replied. "I don't care what my parents say or do, he's staying here."
"They don't deserve to call Blaine their son," Kurt scoffed. "I'm sorry, I know they're your parents but I...Blaine's amazing. He's sweet and kind and selfless and your parents are just...ick."
Cooper laughed. "I know. I'm glad Blaine managed to stay himself, even growing up in that house."
A small whimper pulled their attention to Blaine, who was slowly waking up. He opened his eyes, turning his head to see Kurt and Cooper practically staring at him. There was silence for a few moments before Blaine screamed, causing doctors to come flurrying into the room, demanding Kurt and Cooper out as they tried to get Blaine to calm down.
"Kurt?" A voice said as the men sat back in the waiting room. Kurt's head snapped up to find a doctor by the door of Blaine's room. "He's asking for you."
Kurt followed the doctor into Blaine's room, glancing at Cooper guiltily. As soon as Kurt was inside the room, Blaine opened his arms, asking Kurt for a hug. Kurt's face softened as he crossed the room and hugged his boyfriend, pressing a kiss to his cheek. The doctors left, seeing that Blaine was content with Kurt there.
"How do you feel?" Kurt asked, sitting on the edge of Blaine's bed and cupping his cheek gently.
"Horrible," Blaine said, his voice croaky. "I thought I was going to die."
"So did I," Kurt admitted. "I was so scared that I was going to lose you."
"I'm sorry," Blaine frowned.
"Hey, no," Kurt said, running his thumb back and forth across Blaine's cheek. He could see the teen grasping his toy with one hand and couldn't help but smile the tiniest bit. "Don't do that."
"Did you mean what you said?" Blaine asked.
"About what?"
"You...you love me?"
Kurt nodded, smiling at his boyfriend. "So much."
Blaine blinked up at Kurt, a smile breaking out across his face. "Can you ask Cooper to come in?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," Blaine replied. "I freaked out a little last time because I thought I had died and suddenly I was awake, it was confusing. I wasn't screaming because you and Cooper were here."
"Okay." Kurt said, chuckling a little. He pressed a kiss to Blaine's forehead before going into the waiting room to get Cooper.
"Hey Squirt," Cooper smiled, hugging his baby brother.
"I'm sorry I screamed at you." Blaine said, hugging Cooper weakly.
"It's okay," Cooper laughed. "You did worry me for a second though."
"I'll go," Blaine said randomly. "To the treatment centre...I'll go."
"No," Cooper replied. "You can get help here. I'm not letting them send you to California."
"I don't care anymore, I just want to get better."
"No, Blaine. I know that you don't want to go there, and I'm not going to let you. I'll find somewhere else for you to get help, and I'm moving back to Ohio."
"What?"
"Blaine, I should've been here for you from the start. You shouldn't have had to go through any of this alone, and I'm not leaving you again."
"But...but...your dream."
"I can dream a thousand dreams, Blaine, but I'll only ever have one little brother and that's more important to me."
"Where are you going to stay?" Blaine asked.
"I'm gonna try and find an apartment, and I was wondering if maybe...you wanted to come and live with me?"
Blaine nodded frantically, eliciting laughter from Cooper. "How are you going to get mom and dad to agree to that, though?"
"When I find somewhere to live...I'm gonna try and become your legal guardian. I have a feeling mom and dad will try and fight me on it, but they can't get away with treating you like crap anymore, Blaine, especially with what you're going through."
Blaine was crying at this point, a wide smile on his face as he hugged his brother again. "Thank you," He cried, hugging Cooper with as much strength as he could muster. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
Kurt was still standing by the door, smiling at the sight in front of him.
"No matter what happens, I promise I'm going to look after you."
"I love you so much," Blaine laughed. "You're the best brother ever."
"Duh." Cooper laughed.
— 3 Months Later—
"We won!" Blaine exclaimed happily when Kurt opened the door to his apartment, jumping up and down excitedly. "Cooper won!"
Blaine had been seeing a therapist since he got out of hospital and was diagnosed with a self-injury disorder and an eating disorder. He had stopped cutting almost completely, and there had only been a couple of instances where Kurt or Cooper had found him with a cut across his wrist since he'd started seeing his therapist and he'd started to gradually eat more and more.
Cooper had been petitioning to get legal guardianship of Blaine, but of course his parents tried to fight the case. He'd ended up in court twice, and eventually he ended up winning.
"Yes!" Kurt shouted triumphantly, lifting Blaine up and spinning him around when he jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. Pretzel trodded over to the pair, meowing and rubbing up against Blaine's leg.
Kurt's time at McKinley had ended and he couldn't be happier to be allowed to walk hand-in-hand down the street with Blaine without the fear of being seen. He was still looking for another job, but he had enough money to keep him going for a while anyway.
He'd noticed a big change in Blaine since he'd started therapy, too. The sixteen year old smiled a lot more, even when he didn't really have a reason to smile, and he always seemed to be giggling.
Blaine grinned, tilting his head down to kiss Kurt as he held him up in the air still. He wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriends neck, kissing him passionately until Kurt lowered him to the ground.
"I get to move in today. Cooper's gonna take me to pack the rest of my stuff later."
"I'm so happy for you," Kurt grinned, cupping Blaine's cheek. "I think Pretzel is too." He laughed, watching as the kitten tried to climb up Blaine's leg.
Blaine lifted the white and ginger kitten up, hugging him with a huge smile on his face.
Later that evening, Blaine was excitedly setting up his new room while Kurt and Cooper carried everything inside.
"Why are we doing this?" Kurt whined. "It's your stuff."
"Because you both love me." Blaine grinned, organising his books on his shelf.
Kurt chuckled, kissing his cheek before following Cooper back out of the room to get the last of his boxes.
His room was soon finished and he was sitting on the sofa between Cooper and Kurt, eating pizza and watching TV, feeling happier than he had ever felt in his life.