Just a little New Years fic, dedicated to ByaRen. I couldn't resist doing it once it popped into my head. I also need a break from my other story, hence this story was born. Hope you enjoy:)
I don't own Bleach or characters.
The Soul Society was buzzing with noise as shinigami scurried about, trying to get everything completed in a timely manner. The Seireitei was always busy after the holidays, and every division was usually a mess, looking like a tornado of paperwork had blown through. The sixth division was no exception to this madness, and despite the Taichou's best efforts, his usually tidy desk was cluttered. As for his fuku-taichou's desk, well, that was a whole nother story. The red headed man was nowhere to be seen, his stack of work had shut him away from the world. Byakuya sighed, placing another signed paper into the completed pile. He then stood, walked to his fuku-taicho's desk, and laid one perfect finger on the pile of papers. It was like an avalanche, as the papers flew everywhere, making a mess around the desk. As Byakuya expected, his fuku-taichou lay there, sound asleep with the pen still in hand.
"Abarai fuku-taicho," He said, attempting to wake his lazy lieutenant. Said man didn't even twitch, so the Kuchiki tried again.
"Abarai," He said again, slightly louder and more commanding. Yet again, no movement. Byakuya was starting to wonder if his fuku-taichou had suffocated and died, but tried once more, this time letting his annoyed reiatsu slip out.
"Renji!" He half yelled, feeling satisfied when the tattooed man shot up with a start, looking around frantically. When his eyes landed on his clearly angry Taichou, he paled.
"T-taichou! I can explain!" He tried, wringing his hands together underneath the desk. Byakuya's facial expression didn't falter one bit, which made Renji sweat.
"U-um...ya see...I was working really hard! Really, I was! But it was so quiet behind that big stack of paper, and it blocked the light perfectly! I guess I just kind of...fell asleep?" He said sheepishly, giving Byakuya a meek smile. A raised eyebrow was the only change he got, which didn't help.
"Abarai fuku-taicho, I believe you're forgetting the part where you mention how you went out last night and drank the night away with your idiotic friends, thereby waking up late and also not getting enough sleep." Byakuya said icily, making Renji gulp. He had indeed "forgotten" that part.
"But...we were celebrating Christmas...?" He tried, shrugging innocently.
"Oh? I thought Christmas was nearly a week ago." Byakuya said, raising his reiatsu dangerously.
"O-oh, right..it was..." Renji muttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. All he could do now was wait for the inevitable snap of his Taichou's temper.
"Then why is it, Abarai, that you would deliberately stay out late drinking, when you know how busy you would be today? What reason did you have, fuku-taichou? I'm curious to know." The raven haired man asked, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly.
"I...I don't know?" He lamely replied, and flew back from his desk as Byakuya's reiatsu spiked, making the air crackle. "I-Im sorry Taichou! Please, have mercy! I won't do it again!"
"You said that last time."
"I did? Ah! I-I mean, I'll make it up to you! I'll finish all of my paperwork today, no breaks!" Renji cried, peeking from behind his hands when the air stopped sizzling.
"See to it, then. You can start by picking up this mess." Byakuya said, referring to the paperwork scattered about.
"B-but I didn't even—"
"I suggest you hurry, Abarai, unless you want to miss the New Years Eve party at the first division?" Byakuya asked, raising a thin eyebrow.
"N-no! I'll get started right away!" He replied quickly, scrambling to pick up the papers and stack them neatly on his desk again. Byakuya shook his head, returning to his own desk. The annual New Years Eve party was tonight, and as usual was being held at the first division. It was the only time of the year that Yamamoto actually let the Seireitei have fun and relax. Granted, they gave gifts on Christmas, and sometimes had thanksgiving feasts, but New Years was the only time they could truly celebrate. For Renji, and many others, that meant drinking large amounts of sake, dancing like morons, and laughing about the stupidest things.
I do not even wish to go, but it is mandatory for all Taichous and fuku-taichous. Every year is the same. He drinks sake with the usual group of people, gets loud and rowdy, and then doesn't even show up for work the next day. If it were my choice, he would stay here all night and actually finish his work. I don't know why he always takes that threat seriously. He knows I can't keep him here, even if he doesn't sign one piece of paperwork. Although, he would certainly get punished the next day. Perhaps he knows that...
"Taichou? You okay?" Renji asked, bringing Byakuya out of his thoughts. He then realized he must have been staring, and his cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink.
"Do not worry about me, Abarai. You should be working." Byakuya said, returning to his paperwork and hoping Renji couldn't see his blush.
"R-right." Renji said, quickly signing his name. His usual sloppy writing was even worse now, being in a hurry and also feeling nervous. His Taichou could really be scary, and sometimes it was hard to work with the man being in the same room.
Plus he's got a stare that can look right into your soul. I wonder what he was thinking about? And why was he looking at me? Just a coincidence, I guess. But still, Kuchiki Taichou is one hell of a scary guy. He can be nice, if you catch him on the right day. In fact, he's a pretty good guy. I can't really say I hate him anymore. Sure, I'd love to win in a fight, but it's not all I think about anymore. I'm actually happy to be his fuku-taichou. All of that hatred and jealousy somehow turned to respect and adoration.
Renji paused at what he had just thought of.
W-wait! Adoration is the wrong word! Just...oh, what's the word..more than respect, but not like some creepy fangirl! Ah, admiration. Close enough. I admire him. No..no that still sounds wrong! Christ, what's with me today? I really should start sleeping more.
And with that in mind, Renji returned to his work, signing his name quickly and messily. He just wanted the day to be over already, so he could go have some good old fashioned fun. Something crazy would always happen at these things, like last year when Hisagi got so drunk he thought Izuru was Rangiku and tried groping his chest. Or when Rangiku slipped some sake into Hitsuguya's water and he froze her to the side of the building. But this year, Renji felt like something really crazy would happen. Something that would always be remembered.
Damn..I can't wait!
Hours later, Byakuya signed the last piece of paper and looked at Renji, who had surprisingly completed almost all of his work. He checked the clock, noting that the party didn't start for another half hour, and decided to actually help his fuku-taichou. Walking over, he kneeled next to Renji and grabbed a paper, signing Renji's name with his perfect calligraphy. Renji raised an eyebrow, being shocked at the sudden act of kindness. It wasn't the first time his Taichou had decided to help him, but it still caught him off guard every time. Renji glanced at his terrible chicken-scratch signature, and then at Byakuya's beautiful one, and felt inadequate. He tried mimicking Byakuya's hand movements, but it came out even worse. The raven haired man noticed his fuku-taichous problem, and found it oddly amusing.
"You need to relax your hand, but keep your fingertips firm and precise. Let it flow, but not so much that it's illegible." He advised, signing another perfect signature. Renji did as he was told, smiling as it improved some. However, all it took was another glance at that perfect calligraphy to frown again. He just wasn't getting it.
"Better, but try moving your wrist, like this." Byakuya said, demonstrating the technique. Renji tried again, but frowned as it got worse.
"Dammit. I can't do it!" Renji said, going back to his chicken-scratch. Byakuya held back a sigh, grabbing Renji's forearm to calm him down. He then carefully took the red heads hand, guiding it to write each letter slowly, until it was finished. Renji beamed at the near look-alike signature, and tried it on his own, feeling accomplished when it came out the same. Byakuya returned to the papers, and in no time they were finished. Byakuya felt an odd tingling sensation where his hand had touched Renji's, and felt strangely warm inside. He brushed it off, standing and wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. It was very cold outside, and they had enough time to walk to the first division, so he would need the warmth.
"Thank you, Taichou. I really needed that." Renji said, still marveling at his improved signature.
"It was no problem, Abarai." Byakuya said. The two walked in comfortable silence the rest of the way, and showed up to the first division just in time. The party was held in Yamamoto's office, and with every Taichou and fuku-taichou being there, minus the traitorous Taichou's of course, it was rather crowded. Not so much that you couldn't move, but just enough. However, not too many people had shown up yet, so Renji waited with Byakuya by the railings, looking out over the Seireitei and at the full moon. Renji knew his Taichou loved looking at the moon, and always took note of the relaxed face he would get.
"So, what are you going to do the whole time, Taichou?" Renji asked, also enjoying the beautiful sight.
"What I always do, I suppose." Byakuya said, frowning a little. He wasn't looking forward to tonight.
"Well, if you want, you can have a few drinks with us." Renji offered, giving Byakuya a wide grin.
"You ask that every year, Abarai, and my answer stays the same. I would prefer drinking tea with Ukitake Taichou and the other non-drinkers." Byakuya responded, giving Renji a cold glare.
"Alright, just thought I'd ask. Just know that you're welcome to." Renji said, holding up his hands in defense. Byakuya was about to say something else, but was cut off by the loud sound of Rangiku.
"Renjiiiiiii! You're here early!" She yelled, crushing the red head in an embrace and suffocating him with her giant chest. The others began filing in, and Byakuya walked over to the usual table that had been set up to sit with the "non-drinkers" as he called it. Rangiku dragged Renji to their table, where Hisagi, Izuru, Iba, Shunsui, Omaeda, Momo, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, and Yumichika sat. A rather large quantity of sake had already been brought out, and they began serving it and slurping it down, wasting no time. Byakuya sighed, sitting with Ukitake, Yamamoto, Sasakibe, Soifon, Unohana, Isane, Nanao, Yachiru, Komamura, Toshiro, Mayuri, Nemu, and surprisingly Rukia. While Byakuya forbade Ukitake to make her his fuku-taichou, she still got treated like one. In this case, Byakuya didn't mind. He liked spending time with his sister.
"Good evening, Nii-sama. Are you having a good time?" She asked, sitting next to him purposefully.
"It is decent, I suppose. What do you think?" He asked, ignoring a large belch from the other side of the room, followed by snorts of laughter.
"I think it's lovely. Spending time with everyone and having fun is so nice." She said, giving Byakuya a smile. He still saw Hisana in her, but not as much as before.
"Indeed it is. I hear Yama-jii has something different planned for this year, though." Ukitake said, being on the other side of Byakuya.
"Oh really? Like what?" Rukia asked, her eyes widening in curiosity. Byakuya suddenly got a bad feeling.
"I'm not sure, he wouldn't say. He just said it should help everyone have fun. I've never seen him so easy going!" Ukitake said, and suddenly Yamamoto stood up, Sasakibe following. They disappeared for a moment, and then came back into the room with a large table and way too many cushions. With a snap of his fingers, the two separate tables disintegrated.
"My sake!" Everyone who had been drinking yelled, managing to save every drop from falling. They quickly rushed to the only remaining table, resuming where they left off. The others reluctantly followed, knowing there was no choice. Byakuya took the seat next to Renji, deciding it was better than sitting next to that pig Omaeda, and felt incredibly uneasy.
"Why the sudden seating arrangement, Yama-jii?" Shunsui asked, sipping his sake. Unfortunately for Nanao, she had to sit next to him.
"This is a celebration! We should not all be separated into groups! This is a once in a year opportunity, and I want to see everybody having fun for once instead of these delinquents!" He said, surprising everyone by filling his own dish of sake.
"Delinquent? Us?" The drinkers said, feigning shock.
"Yes, you! Now, everyone grab a dish and relax for once!" He commanded, and while some people cheered others grumbled unhappily. While Byakuya would never do that, he did sigh in frustration, but reluctantly poured a small amount of sake into his cup. It was a bit odd to see people like the Sou-taichou and Unohana-taichou drink, but he knew it couldn't be their first time. In fact, they looked rather pleased to indulge in it.
"Oi, Yachiru, don't drink that." He heard Kenpachi say, and scoffed. The barbarian actually had some decency.
"Why? I wanna see if it tastes like candy!" She replied, reaching for the cup.
"Alright, fine. Suit yourself. But I warned you." He said, gracelessly slurping more of the liquid down. So much for decency.
"Ewww! It tastes like fire! Kenny, how can you drink this?!" She yelled, spitting the drink back out.
"Keep drinking. You'll find out." Was his response. Byakuya tuned them out, absentmindedly sipping from his own cup. The taste was indeed bitter and hot, but it was alcohol after all. While he wasn't a drinker, this wasn't his first time either. He just never drank to the point of being drunk. Next to him, Renji slammed another one down, refilling it immediately. Rangiku, who was across from him, was doing the same, apparently trying to drink Renji under the table. Hisagi and Izuru were in on it, as well as Ikkaku and Yumichika. Byakuya almost rolled his eyes. Even at the same table, they remained a group of idiots. But, looking around, it seemed like everyone was doing it. They were all laughing and talking, seeing who could drink the most sake. Even Toshiro had a blush on, already feeling the effects. Of course, he was a lightweight though. Nevertheless, he seemed to be enjoying himself.
"Want some more, Taichou? You're on empty already." Renji asked, snapping Byakuya out of his thoughts. Looking in his cup, he was surprised to see it empty.
I must have been drinking it the whole time without realizing...I should be more careful.
"I shouldn't." He said, shaking his head.
"Oh, come on Taichou! It's a party! Just one more, ne? It won't do any harm." Renji said, already filling his dish to the brim and then filling his own.
"I suppose.." Byakuya said, taking another small sip of the liquid.
"I never thought I'd see the day where you drink, Taichou! It sure is weird. But in a good way! I just hope you're not a lightweight like Hitsuguya over there." Renji said, jabbing a thumb at Toshiro who sat between Rangiku and Momo, who were both offering him more and more sake.
"Please, Abarai, I'm no lightweight." Byakuya scoffed, sipping a little more sake. Renji laughed at this, and Byakuya felt like laughing himself, but decided against it. His fuku-taichou's laugh had always been contagious, but it seemed now it was even more so.
"Care to test that theory? I think everyone else is in on it except you, Taichou." Renji said, feeling extra brave with the sake in his system.
"It is no theory, and I will gladly prove it to you." Byakuya said, making Renji smirk. They clinked cups together, and in one gulp downed the whole thing. The others seemed to notice, and made bets against their own Taichous. All except Ukitake and Unohana, who decided to follow Yamamoto's example and sip slowly, enjoying the chaos that was sure to come. Isane and Sasakibe joined them, and of course Yachiru.
"Care to make a bet, anyone?" Unohana asked.
"Gladly. A bet on who will win, or lose?" Ukitake asked, looking at the healer.
"Why not both?" She said, smiling gently.
"Sounds good. I say...my fellow Shiro-chan will lose, and Matsumoto fuku-taichou will win."
"I thought for certain you would pick Shunsui to win. Very well, I say Rukia-chan will lose, and Kyoraku-taichou will win. And you, Isane?"
"I have to go with Toshiro to lose as well, but I think Zaraki-taichou will win." The tall woman replied.
"Really? I think Hinamori fuku-taichou will lose, and Ikkaku-san will win." Sasakibe said, and then looked at his Taichou.
"I know Shunsui will win. As for the loser...I think Kuchiki-taichou will lose." Yamamoto said, glancing at Byakuya who had downed his fourth cup.
"Really? Byakuya will lose? How can you be certain?" Ukitake asked, being mildly surprised.
"I've never seen the boy drink. And also, he's going against Abarai fuku-taichou. That's a good enough reason." The aged man explained, and the others nodded.
"Good point. So, what do I get when I win?" Unohana asked, smiling at Yamamoto.
"When I win, the loser must do my paperwork for a whole month." Yamamoto said, opening his eyes at Unohana. The two were interrupted by a bang on the table, and looked over to see Toshiro passed out.
"Looks like you lost, Retsu." Ukitake said, smiling nervous.
"That doesn't count. We don't know who won yet."
"...We're terrible at bets, aren't we."
"Let's start over. We know who lost, so let's keep our bets on who wins."
"Okay, sounds good."
Two hours later, and countless bottles of sake, Yamamoto was starting to regret telling everyone to drink. Rangiku was incoherent, and insisted Toshiro was her child. They warned her he would suffocate if she kept holding him in her chest, but she refused to let him go. Hisagi—once again— confused Izuru for Rangiku, and was currently groping him. Izuru was so drunk, though, that he simply let the man and was stroking Hisagi's head, saying something about Komamura dyeing his hair black. Yamamoto was beginning to wonder how far those two would go with each other, and shuddered at the thought. Shunsui kept stalking Nanao, and on one occasion Ukitake, saying something about having cherub babies. Yachiru had gotten bored, and decided to bite Ikkaku's head. Usually he would throw her off, but he was so far gone he thought it actually felt good and kept telling Yumichika to try it, to which the feminine man mumbled it was ugly. Neither realized they were wrapped in each others arms.
Omaeda had passed out long ago, but only because Soifon had knocked him unconscious. She herself was wasted, having attempted to drink enough to ignore the man. It didn't work, and now she kept hallucinating black cats. She even mistook Komamura for a giant Yoruichi. Momo was taking turns holding Toshiro, and drawing Chappy pictures on his face with Rukia. Then they drew on each other. Komamura was wearing Iba's sunglasses, saying it was too dark, even though it didn't make sense. Iba had passed out 20 minutes ago. Kenpachi was fighting the wall, lying down, and winning. He claimed the wall took his top bell, when it was really Yachiru. Mayuri was recording everything while Nemu took pictures for the SWA. And Renji was still drinking with Byakuya, who was beyond drunk. But, being Byakuya, he would never admit it. And you couldn't really tell, either. His mask was uncrackable. For now, at least. Renji knew he was close to breaking.
"Yer good...T-Taichou...but I'm still better!" Renji said, hiccuping. Byakuya stayed quiet, knowing his voice would fail him. Despite being bombed, Renji noticed.
"Ya can't even talk, can ya! Just admit it, I win!" Renji said, downing another bottle. Since the others had stopped drinking, besides the occasional cup, they had switched to straight bottles. Byakuya, not wanting to admit defeat, dared to trust his voice.
"I'm f-fine, Abarai. Youu are incoherent." He said, feeling somewhat accomplished for not completely failing.
"Tch, this ain't n-nothing! I've done worse, T-taichou." Renji said, swaying a little.
"Show me y-your worst, Abarai fuku-taichou. Prepare to lose." He said, and they both chugged another bottle. Byakuya lost all feeling in his face, and felt extremely bubbly inside. Renji tossed the bottle away, smiling lazily as the noble. Then, he smirked, and then started laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And that damn contagious laughter finally got to Byakuya, and he too started laughing. They leaned against each other, and then fell backwards onto the floor, still laughing.
"W-what are we l-laughing at, T-taichou?" Renji asked, wiping a tear from his eye.
"I-I don't know, Abarai, y-you're drunk." Byakuya said, his stomach sore from laughing.
"I ain't drunk!" He yelled, glaring at Byakuya.
"Then prove it. Stand up and walk."
"I will! But you have to do the same!"
"I will." He said, and they both stood, only to fall back down and into an awkward position. Renji landed on top of Byakuya, their faces only an inch apart, and with the copious amount of sake in their systems, they didn't even feel their lips connect. This set off a chain reaction, when drunk Rangiku pushed Toshiro and Momo's heads together. Poor Toshiro got his first kiss and he wasn't even awake for it. Hisagi saw this, and thinking Izuru was Rangiku, smashed their lips together. Yachiru saw that, and forced Ikkaku to do the same to Yumichika. Shunsui tried doing it to Nanao, but got slapped.
"Oh my." Unohana gasped, looking just as shocked as Jushiro. They both looked at Yamamoto, who's eye was twitching. The man was speechless.
"I think your plan backfired, sir." Sasakibe said, trying to ignore the wet sounds of Renji mauling Byakuya. Or maybe it was Hisagi and Izuru. Ikkaku and Yumichika? You know what? He didn't want to know.
"How disgusting." Mayuri spat, looking away as he filmed.
"Yoruichiiii! Why aren't you here so we could do that too! Come back, my big Yoruichiii!"
"Bark! Bark bark! Arrrrr arf!"
"Give me back my bell, you bastard! It takes three hours to put on! Ah, that was a cheap shot! Stop running!"
"Chappy! Chap chap chappy! Chappy chap chap! Chappyyyyy!"
"ENOUGH! THIS PARTY IS OVER! ALL OF YOU, GO HOME!" Yamamoto yelled, having regained his senses. A collective thud sound echoed in the room, and he realized everyone had finally passed out. Well, mostly everyone. Two people happened to be awake, just as everyone else blacked out.
"Aww, the parties over? And here I was just starting to get a buzz!"
"You cannot end the party now. I forbid it. I need more sake."
"But...weren't you two just...oh, never mind. Just get out of here!" Yamamoto yelled, not wanting to think about what he had witnessed.
"I can't believe it..we all lost!" Ukitake said, recovering from his initial shock.
"Fine! Taichou, let's take this back to my place." Renji said, grabbing as much sake as he could and winking at Byakuya.
"Very well. Let us go." Byakuya said, also taking sake. They walked out, leaving 4 Taichous, 3 fuku-taichous, and a room full of unconscious shinigami stunned. Well, maybe not the unconscious ones.
"I can't believe...what I just saw..."
"What a way to start the new year."
"I'm happy for them. They deserve happiness. That is, if they remember it."
"...Nemu, come with me." Mayuri said, sneaking out of the room.
The next morning, Byakuya woke feeling like his head was about to explode, completely naked, and in an unfamiliar room. Furthermore, his stomach was doing flips, the room was spinning, his back and bottom hurt, and he was wrapped in something hard and warm. He looked up, despite the pounding behind his eyes, and then nearly screamed. He was in his fuku-taichous room, in his bed, in his arms, and they were both naked. He wanted to yell so bad, to scream obscenities, to beat the living daylights out of Renji, but first he needed to throw up. Seeing the bathroom only a few feet away, he rushed to it, and emptied his stomach.
"Holy shit...what happened last night? How did I get here? Oh shit, Taichous gonna be pissed! I'm late! I'm so—Taichou? Are you alright? Um...you're naked. And..and I'm naked! Oh..move over, Taichou, it's my turn!" Renji said, rushing in and also emptying his stomach. Byakuya stood on shaky legs, washing his mouth and searching for his clothes. A moment later, Renji joined him.
"Um...Taichou..."
"Don't say it, Abarai. We will never speak of this to anyone. Not even each other." Byakuya said, making the mistake of looking at Renji in all of his naked glory. With his tan skin, exotic tattoos, and strong build, he really was breath taking.
What am I saying, Byakuya thought, He is my fuku-taichou! And male! But that apparently didn't stop me last night. I drank far too much. I can't even remember it...what a shame. Wait..what?
"T-taichou?" Renji asked, shifting under Byakuya's heated stare.
"Abarai..I..do you remember anything from last night?" He asked, quickly clothing himself. Although by now, Renji had gotten a pretty good look, and was not disappointed.
"Not at all, Taichou. I don't even know how we got here." Renji replied, also getting dressed.
"I see..perhaps we drank too much?"
"Oh yeah. Way too much. But, it was pretty fun, ne?"
"You're an idiot, Abarai."
But it was indeed fun.
After forcing Renji to come to work, a hell butterfly had flown into the office, notifying Byakuya of an urgent meeting for all Taichous and fuku-taichous. They both had a pretty good idea what it was about, but when the message mentioned Kurotsuchi-taichou having something important to share with everybody, Byakuya got a terrible feeling in his gut, and it wasn't from being hungover. They entered the meeting room, stood in their designated spot and waited for everyone else to file in. Everyone else looked miserable, some more than others. Byakuya ordinarily found it amusing, but not this year, since he was a part of it. After everyone settled in, the Sou-taichou began his rant.
"As I'm sure you all know, last night was highly inappropriate. I've put a lot of thought into a suitable punishment, but couldn't quite think of anything. That is, until, Mayuri Kurotsuchi told me he had the perfect solution. So, you must all stay and watch how foolish you acted!" Yamamoto boomed, and Sasakibe quickly locked the doors. A large screen came down from the ceiling, probably having been installed by the mad scientist himself, and a video began playing. It had started right as everyone started to lose it. Byakuya watched in horror, his face paling.
"MATSUMOTO!" Toshiro yelled, witnessing what had happened during his unconsciousness. The busty woman smiling nervously, backing away from her Taichou. "Gah! Hinamori?! And Kuchiki?! Your the ones who drew Chappy on my face?! That took forever to wash off!"
"That's why my boobs were all smudged..." Rangiku said, recalling suffocating Toshiro after they had finished. The camera suddenly turned towards Ikkaku and Yumichika, and in the background Nemu was taking pictures. The third and fifth seats were also being forced to watch, despite not being a fuku-taichou. Both of them laughed, finding it funny at first. On screen, Ikkaku was stumbling around, trying to grab Yumichika's feathers. The camera went lower, revealing a giggling Yachiru, who expertly tripped Yumichika who grabbed onto Ikkaku for balance. They both toppled onto the floor, landing in each others arms and staying that way. Yachiru then began biting Ikkaku's head. Both Yumichika and Ikkaku stopped laughing.
Mayuri's laughter could be heard from behind the recorder, and everything spun as he quickly looked at Soifon downing a shot of sake and chasing after Komamura, who had resorted to running on all fours, wearing Iba's sunglasses. In the meeting room, Komamura slid his helmet on, hiding his embarrassment. Soifon looked furious, but was sporting a heavy blush as well. It changed again to Kenpachi, running around looking for his bell. He bumped into the wall and lost balance, kicking and punching the wall while on the ground. The mans laughter could be heard throughout the meeting room, finding it amusing instead of humiliating. Byakuya shifted nervously, waiting for the inevitable part. Luckily, the shame was handed to Hisagi and Izuru.
Shuuhei blushed furiously, covering his eyes. Izuru was dumbfounded, his jaw hitting the floor. He couldn't believe his eyes! Shuuhei was groping him, calling him Rangiku! And he was just letting him! "Hisagi!" He yelled, punching his friend in the arm.
"Aww, I'm flattered Shuuhei! But, I look nothing like pretty little Izuru. You should really stop drinking." Rangiku said, not being bothered at all.
"You should stop drinking, Matsumoto!" Toshiro said, still being angry.
"Oh look, there I am! My, Nanao, you look stunning on camera." Shunsui said, watching as he chased his fuku-taichou around the room. He laughed and gave Ukitake an apologetic look when he attempted to kiss the man, mistaking him for Nanao. Ukitake grimaced. Then, the camera changed, showing Yamamoto talking with Unohana and Ukitake. It slowly moved to the other end of the table, and Byakuya began to panic.
"Oi, look at that! Kuchiki-hime actually drank some sake! Looks like I was wrong about you. Let's have our own drinking contest, I'll destroy you!" Kenpachi said, making Byakuya grind his teeth. He had to do something before that part came!
"Hado number 33 sokat—!"
"Oh no you don't! You have to watch the whole thing!" Yamamoto said, restraining Byakuya with bakudo before he could fire his hado. The noble had no choice but to watch as he and Renji burst out laughing, falling onto the floor. Renji chuckled next to him, not remembering what happened next. They both stood, swayed a little, and then fell on top of each other. A second later, the room was filled with gasps as they kissed. The camera kept moving rapidly, filming the chaos that ensued after that. Hitsuguya was at a loss for words, a huge blush spreading over his face. Momo looked just as mortified, and Rangiku backed away slowly again. Izuru screamed, proceeding to beat the tar out of Hisagi. Both Yumichika and Ikkaku's eyes twitched, and neither would look at each other. Kenpachi's face turned green at the sight, and he gave them a look that could kill. Shunsui chuckled nervously, ducking as Nanao swatted her book at his head.
This wasn't even the worst part. It showed Yamamoto exploding, and then went dark for a moment. When it started filming again, it was from outside a window, looking into a dimly lit bedroom. Byakuya and Renji lost any remaining color they had left, wanting to just bury themselves alive. Guttural noises were heard, the covers moving slowly, then faster. Splashes of red hair could be seen, being on top of the noble. It then switched, so that Byakuya was on top. Renji was seen removing his kenseikan, running his fingers through the silky strands. Byakuya's head then disappeared under the covers, moving down..down..until Renji made a delicious sound. Some of the females in the audience had nose bleeds, and Momo had fainted.
"Wait! Wait! You didn't say anything about this, Kurotsuchi! This isn't PG13! I don't want to see that!" Yamamoto yelled, shielding his eyes.
"Fine fine, then perhaps this is better. Nemu, roll the other tape!" Mayuri's voice said, though he wasn't in the room. Another film started, this one taking place after Byakuya and Renji left.
"What should we do with them, sir?" Sasakibe asked, looking around the room full of passed out shinigami.
"Just leave them. They'll wake up eventually." Yamamoto said, leaving with Sasakibe and the others who didn't drink much. Time fast forwarded, stopping when someone woke up. It just so happened to be Toshiro, who had Chappy drawing all over his face and Momo's lip gloss on his own lips.
"Ugh...what happened?" He asked, rubbing his head. He realized he was still in Rangiku's chest, and quickly stumbled out.
"Oh...everyone's passed out already? I must have been out for a while...thank god I missed that. I'm sure it was a disaster. Hm? Aw, not you too!" He said, looking at a passed out Hinamori. "Well...I guess I'll take you both home." He sighed, and with surprising strength carried both Momo and Rangiku out. Time fast forwarded again, until it was nearly morning. One by one, the others woke up, each being confused and hungover. Nanao dragged Shunsui out, being used to it. Komamura did the same with Iba. Soifon just left Omaeda there, looking at Komamura strangely, like something had happened. Izuru lazily crawled out, taking Shuuhei with him. He kept touching his lips, looking confused. Yumichika blearily woke up, realizing he was in Ikkaku's arms, and then fell back asleep. Kenpachi later woke up, dragging them both out. Nemu—being the one filming— kicked Omaeda over the ledge, watching as he fell before leaving and turning off the camera. The large screen went back up, and the room was deathly silent.
"As a side note, the SWA will be selling pictures, taken at the party." Nemu added, and Rangiku squealed, breaking the silence.
"I'm gonna go buy one right now! Little Taichous first kiss, captured in a perfect photo!" She yelled, running out of the room with an angry Toshiro following.
"You two. Eleventh division training grounds. Now. It's time to beat the shit out of you for acting like idiots!" Kenpachi roared, chasing his two subordinates out, a happy Yachiru following.
"That's where Omaeda is? I better go get him." Soifon said, looking for an excuse to leave. Once again, she looked at Komamura strangely. Even now, he still looked like Yoruichi.
"Hisagi Shuuhei, you're so dead! Get back here!" Izuru yelled, chasing a still blushing Shuuhei out. His cries for mercy could be heard for miles.
"We should leave as well, Isane. There are many patients with alcohol poisoning today. Take Hinamori fuku-taichou, will you? She's still passed out." Unohana said, leaving with her fuku-taichou.
"Well, my lovely Nanao, would you like to leave? I could go for some sake and a nap." Shunsui asked, tipping his hat.
"No more sake! And you won't be taking a nap for a long time! There's work to do!" She yelled, dragging him by the ear.
"Taichou...I...I don't know what to say..." Renji said, still looking pale.
"Don't say anything. Just as I said before, we will not speak of this to anyone, not even each other. Now, let us go, we have work to do." Byakuya said, sounding calm but looking mortified.
"Right...let's go, then."
"Renji, I need you to do a favor, first."
"Yes, Taichou?" Renji asked, not realizing Byakuya had used his first name.
"Get me out of this bakudo."
Later that night, two cloaked figures walked into the SWA meeting room, both looking at each other but saying nothing. The girls were there, oogling at the pictures. They looked up, acknowledging the two strangers curiously.
"Well, hello there. Would you like to buy one?" Rangiku asked, holding a picture of Toshiro kissing Momo to her chest.
"The one of Kuchiki-taichou and Abarai fuku-taichou, please." They both said in unison, then looked at each other angrily.
"Oi, what are you, some sick pervert?!"
"Are you really one to talk? You're just as bad."
"Just as— that's it! Let's go, me and you, right now! I'll kick your ass!"
"As if you could. My power out classes yours."
"Hold on a minute, I know that voice! Renji? Is that you?" Rangiku asked, and Yachiru quickly jumped up and took off his hood.
"Uh...I can explain." He said, blushing slightly.
"If you're Renji, then who's that?" Rangiku asked, and Yachiru did the same to him, making everybody gasp.
"K-K-Kuchiki-taichou?! But why..?" Renji asked, looking shocked.
"The same reason as you, Abarai." Byakuya sighed, making Renji blush more. His reason was a very perverted one.
"Well, isn't that interesting? So then, which picture do you want? We have many." Rangiku said, holding up multiple pictures of the two doing all kinds of things.
"We'll take all of them." They both said quickly. Every woman in the room grinned evilly. They now had a good way to keep money in their budget.
Between this, all the pictures Hisagi and Izuru bought, and Ikkaku and Yumichika, we'll be set for at least three months! I never knew we had so many gay couples! Rangiku thought happily. She watched as the two left, going off to do who knows what.
"Do you think they'll end up together?" Nanao asked.
"Oh, I think they will." Rangiku replied. Outside, Byakuya and Renji walked down the street, not saying a word.
But, if you took a second look, you would see that they were both smiling happily, and holding hands.
"Happy New Years, Byakuya." Renji said, using the name Byakuya had told him to use the previous night in bed.
"Happy New Years, Renji."
Oh my glob, that was long! This thing seriously took on it's own life. But, it was fun to write! You have no idea how tempting it was to write the lemon. Like, really, no idea. But I wanted to keep it somewhat clean, so I'll leave it up to your imaginations. Hope you enjoyed! And please, leave a review:)