Why is this happening? I don't get it I worked so hard.
My heart shatters into tiny pieces as I read the sentence over and over again in my head, I don't understand I killed my audition and even Carmen Tibideaux was impressed, where did it all go wrong?
Mr Hummel we regret to inform you that you have not been accepted into The New York Academy of Dramatic Arts…..
"I didn't get in…. I didn't get in." I repeat as the news slowly starts to sink in, my head starts to pound from all the thoughts inside my head.
"Kurt I'm so sorry" I hear Rachel say as she walks over to look at my letter, Finn also walks over and puts his arm around my shoulders.
"Your turn Rachel" Finn says to his fiancée as I look over to her.
Rachel takes the letter off the stool as my heart drops, she has definitely got in, I can feel it. Why does she always have to get everything? As she turns her back to us to read her letter Finn pulls me closer in an attempt to comfort me but it doesn't work, there's only one person who can comfort me right now. I need you Blaine.
My thoughts are interrupted as I see Rachel turn around, she looks at us with those big brown eyes of hers and then I see it…. Triumph in her eyes. Oh no.
"I got in" she says slowly, clearly trying to understand what is really happening.
I raise my eyebrows slightly in a way of showing that I am happy for her. Don't get me wrong I am extremely happy for her but I am devastated for myself.
We all stand there for a couple more seconds trying to find something to say. My brain finally catches up with me and the tears start welling up in my eyes.
"I think I need some air" I mutter as I untangle myself from Finn and walk slowly out of the choir room.
Before I even realise it I have made my way outside and to my car, I try to fish my keys out of my pocket but my hand are shaking too much. I take my hand out of my pocket and try to calm myself by taking very deep breaths. After I have calmed down I finally manage to get my keys and unlock the car but instead of getting into the driver's seat, I open the back doors and climb into the back of the car and fall down onto the seats and start crying hysterically and for once I don't even care that my clothes are getting creased.
After a couple of minutes of crying I slowly start to calm down enough to grab my phone out of my pocket and without even thinking I call speed dial number one.
"Hello? Kurt? Why are you calling me I'm in class?" There it is that beautiful voice I was so desperate to hear.
"Blaine, I need you." I say with a shaky voice, sobs breaking through
"Baby what's wrong, what's happened? He asks starting to sound panicked.
"Please… B-b-blaine" I stutter as the sobs suddenly overcome my speech, I need him so badly I can't even comprehend how much I need him I just need to be held in his arms and to be told that it's all going to be okay.
"Mr Anderson, is there any reason as to why you have you phone out right now I suggest that you hang up before I give you detention" I hear Blaine's teacher shout at him through the phone and I can sense that everyone in the class right now is looking at him.
"I'm sorry Sir but I have to go, it's an emergency" Blaine says as I hear him rustling about gathering his stuff and running out of the classroom.
"Blaine I need you... p-p-please "My whole body is now shaking with sobs that I can't control I can hardly get any words out.
"Where are you Kurt?" Blaine asks
"Car" Is all I manage to say but I know that Blaine will understand
"Okay baby I'm on my way, I'm going to hang up now but I will see you in a minute, okay? I hear his breath quickening as he is running.
"Okay… I love you" I say as my breathing starts to even out.
"I love you too Kurt" He says before he hangs up.
A minute or two goes by as I lie on the seats in the back of my car and try to calm myself down in the fear that all this crying might bring on a panic attack which I suffer from in situations like this. Suddenly I hear frantic footsteps outside the car and the door opens to reveal Blaine sweating and clearly out of breath from running to the parking lot from the other side of the school.
"Kurt oh my god what happened" Blaine says as he crawls into the back next to me and pulls me into his arms, the arms that I have so desperately needed since I read that letter.
"I-I-I-didn't g-g-get in" And there I go again, why must I cry so much I'm surprised I even have any tears left.
"Oh Kurt I am so sorry, I don't even know what to say right now. Shh it's okay, you're going to be okay baby, shh shh" Blaine strokes my hair as he soothes me, my sobs getting heavier and I can feel the panic attack coming on.
"Blaine I c-c-c-can't b-b-breathe, help m-m-me" Suddenly my throat closes up and my breathing is restricted making me panic even more.
"Oh god baby look at me, look at me please" He starts to say turning as frantic as I am.
"I'm n-n-not good enough f-f-f-for anything, I'm just a f-f-f-failure, a Lima l-l-l-loser!" My voice is raised as my breathing gets extremely frantic, my throat continues to tighten and I start to gasp as my breathing threatens to stop.
"Kurt please look at me, please, KURT!" Blaine grabs my face and forces me to look into his eyes, his beautiful hazel eyes. "You are not a failure, you will never be a failure and you are most certainly not a Lima Loser, you are amazing Kurt you are so talented at everything that you do and even if you didn't get into NYADA you are going to New York no matter what because you are a star and you deserve every bit of fame that you are bound to get. You never fail to amaze me at everything that you do, it all makes me love you more and more every day and I will do everything in my power to make Kurt Hummel the name that people will say all over the world. I love you Kurt, I love you so fucking much and it breaks my heart to see you like this so please just calm down."
My breaths finally become even again and my breathing returns to normal but I am still sobbing but not because of my rejection but because of the beautiful speech that my amazing boyfriend just made.
"I love you Blaine" Are the first words that come out of my mouth after I finally start breathing again.
"I love you too baby, I know this isn't the best news but don't let it affect you like this, a rejection like this will not stop you from following your dreams and becoming a star, okay?"
"Okay" I say as I look into his eyes, Blaine then caresses my cheek and brings his lips to mine in a soft, slow and beautiful kiss, there's no need for any movement, we just stay there with our lips attached. Although my dream has always been New York and Broadway, this is the place I will always want to be, in the arms of the love of my life and the man that I hope to marry one day whatever my career is.
Blaine softly breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against mine as we look into each other's eyes, his eyes never fail to take my breath away whenever I look into them. I can always tell if there is something wrong with him just by looking into those beautiful hazel orbs.
"Take me home please?" I ask quietly
"Of course baby" With one last peck on my lips Blaine climbs out of the car and helps me get out and onto my feet, he then opens the passenger door for me and helps me get in, shutting the door behind. After he climbs into the driver's seat he looks over to me and then gives me another soft kiss on the lips and then my forehead.
"I love you Kurt Hummel" He softly whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
"I love you Blaine Anderson" I whisper back, slowly closing my eyes as I start to drift off into a peaceful sleep. The only thing I hear as I regain conciseness a few times is Blaine singing softly to himself as he drives.
Even though my life does sometimes have its setbacks I know that I will always have Blaine to fall back on. One day I will marry this man and no-one will stop me from achieving that dream.