Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls!

Title: Double Dealings

Summary: (Teen!Delinquent AU) The gnomes and the Manotaurs are threatening battle in an effort to decide which species is better. Dipper and Mabel are prepared to profit off this.

...

It's three in the morning when Dipper's gnome emblem begins to chime a particularly insistent tone, reminiscent of if an elevator music soundtrack and a wind chime had a baby and it was cranky.

"Dipper." Mabel moans into her pillow. "Shut it off."

"It's your phone."

"I don't have a phone."

"Bull."

The chiming grew louder.

"Dipper. Ursa Major. My main bro. Do it or I'll kill you."

Dipper rolls away from the sound, back facing her. "Sorry, sis, but my legs don't switch on 'till at least seven. Government issued law."

The ringing eventually tapered off. Mabel sighed and began to roll over when the chiming started up again. Her voice grew sharp. "Mason Stanley Pines!"

"Don't call me that! The neighbors could hear."

"I will scream it to the entire town if you don't get off your butt and answer it. They'll hear me, too- we all know I'm a soprano."

"On second thought, nothing could ever beat Gabe Bensen, so..."

Mabel sits up, rifles around, and chucks a lacy bra at him. Dipper lets out a scream and falls to the floor as if wounded.

"Wait a second." Dipper's head pops up, the offending object held at the strap by a pen. "You don't wear this kind of thing. Unless you do. I don't exactly ask for bra updates."

"I bought it to throw at you."

"Crafty."

"Answer the stupid gnome hat, Dipper."

"Alright, alright."

Dipper clumsily got to his feet. Their bedroom had been completed a week ago, so they weren't sleeping in the tool shed anymore. There was no paint as of yet, giving it a woody, unfinished look. The floor was littered with stuffed animals, glitter, and dirty clothes. His special adventure backpack was seated beside their shared desk. The thin notebook left open on it was covered in sticky notes and marker residue.

Dipper grabbed the hoodie he'd worn three days ago, retrieving the leather necklace from within. It shivered and shook in his hand. "How do I even... there we go." The noise stopped once he poked it in the middle. Dipper awkwardly held it to his ear. "Yellow? No, Jeff, that's not a sign that I'm in that Bill Cipher cult which does not exist. Secret codes? Dude, it's not even sun-up yet. Can't this wait?"

Mabel tuned out the ensuing conversation, drifting in and out but unable to fall fully asleep. She's thankful Waddles is napping on the couch- he, at least, would get to have happy pig-dreams.

Her brother says a mild goodbye and chucks the necklace into a pile of briefs. "That was a waste of time I'll never get back."

"Dipper, shut up, before I tell Robbie your birth name."

"Don't nark on me quite yet, Lady Mabes." He replied, sitting heavily on the very edge of her bed. "There's money to be made out of this."

Her eye cracked open. "Moola?"

"Green." He agreed breezily. "The gnomes have issued a challenge to the Manotaurs. Something about deciding who the stronger magical monster is? Whatever. Jeff is asking me to officiate the battle; like ya' do."

"Ballsy. Not seeing the cash here, though."

"Oh, I'd say that's fairly obvious. Folks around here would love to bet on a tussle like this, and, if we should, say, fudge the odds in our favor... I'd say it'd be in our right after such a rude awakening."

Mabel considers it. Then she sits up. "Dip-Dop, you're a genius."

Dipper's smile is all teeth. "How against the idea of becoming a Manotaur are you?"

Author's Note: Been awhile since I wrote some delinquents, hey! It's only gonna be maybe five chapters long. Basically shenanigans with the folks of Gravity Falls.

Mason is canon, but Stanley is just something I added on, 'cause I really like the idea of Dipper getting named after his supposedly dead uncle.

-Mandaree1