Dumbledore's Idea came from…
A/N A friend of mine wanted me to write this and seeing as I'm writing about it but in the Harry Potter era I figured what the hell! So, this is where Dumbledore's crazy crack-pot idea came from: the Marauders ladies and gents! Enjoy and review.
Prologue:
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black. Why am I not surprised? Whenever there is an explosion, whenever I hear a poor defenseless third year girl scream in horror and surprise, whenever Mr. Snape is being… bullied, I find you. And despite what your popularity might lead you to believe, I am not impressed or amused." McGonagall was glaring at them; her brown hair tussled from waking up in the middle of the night, her young face looking aged from the frown imprinted upon it and her lips pressed so thin they appeared as a line.
James and Sirius were trying not to smirk. Being scolded and threatened or given detention had no effect on them; they had grown immune from prolonged exposure. So they just smiled at her winningly and hoped to use their manly wiles to get away from punishment. Either way, it had been worth it to see the Slytherins screaming in horror when they realized their showers were not sputtering water but bobutus pus.
Never mind that they had been nearly hexed silly, the prank had worked. Snivellus even had to go to Madam Pomfrey's otherwise known to them as Poppy.
Minerva sighed. She was the new head of Gryffindor and these boys had given her worry lines and nothing, nothing, seemed to persuade them to put their brilliant minds to better use. And it was their sixth year. Merlin only knew what would happened to the world when they were set loose upon it. She shuddered to think and then bit her cheek to keep from laughing out loud at the images popping into mind.
Black and Potter, as if sensing weakness in their prey, suddenly started sputtering what seemed as the most profound and remorseful apologies she had ever heard. Well, since the last time. Sirius kneeled at her feet and bowed down to her "mercy and superior intellect and brave, kind heart" whereas James said he would seek absolution in the muggle God, "Jimmy or whatever his name is" and would "give his life to not see your disappointed look, I feel so guilty and depraved. I'm bleeding internally, honest!" She was sorely tempted to let them go free but she was not going to let these apes believe they could sway her so easily. So, swallowing any mirth she might be feeling, Minerva was struck with a brilliant idea.
"No doubt you were in proximity of the Great Hall when Headmaster Dumbledore spoke of his magnificent idea to promote house unity?"
The two Gryffindor lads turned towards each other, a feeling of unease engulfing them. They had seen that expression on McGonagall's face two times before and that was when she had sent them to clean the bedpans in the infirmary and act as house-elves for the other houses for a day. They still shuddered at the thought. Especially when Rodolphus Lestrange had made them alphabetize his rather disgusting troll pornography collection.
"I was thinking that you should participate and show your incredible singing talents to the school. After all, I've heard you boast at numerous times that there was nothing your superior skills and intelligent couldn't do. Or would you like to retract that fact publicly? Perhaps another try at the hospital's bedpans would make you remember not to toy with my patience?"
The dark haired boys shuddered and nearly retched but managed to withhold themselves. "Perhaps another time, Professor. We would like to help Dumbledore with his brilliant and absolutely spiffing idea, school unity is very important to our hearts and we think it would be best to stay away from the Hospital after all we might be tempted to… visit our good friend Sniv- um, Severus," Sirius tried to grin but it came out as a grimace as he spoke Snape's name. Minerva smiled grimly but let it pass as she saw that Black was in a certain amount of pain from getting his foot crushed by his good friend James Potter.
"Very well, you should prepare for one performance in three weeks, and remember, nothing… perverse." And with that the Transfiguration's Professor walked away to her rooms leaving the two boys bewildered behind her.
THREE WEEKS LATER
Dumbledore stood and smile beatifically at all the interesting minds sitting looking at him, waiting to be molded or too stubborn to change their views. He sighed inside, casting his eyes towards the band of Slytherins that were posing him the most problems. The word mudblood had been spoken too often for his or anyone's liking.
And now, I am pleased to present the Marauders, and there song is "Please, Please", taken from the band… McFly I believe. Well, I hope we shall all enjoy." And with that he sat himself back down, happy to look at the confused looks upon their faces. No strange words, no amusing rime. It was good to keep them on their toes.
The curtain that had been put in place for the recent spectacles was lifted and there stood James Potter, leading vocalist, Sirius Black playing the base and handing out fliers of himself half-naked to whoever he could reach, Remus Lupin sitting awkwardly at the drums and Peter Pettigrew holding a… triangle?
James approached his microphone, carefully adjusted to work in a magical environment. "This is for Lily Evans," and at that the music started. Everyone had turned to look at the enraged red-head spitfire who looked ready to cause bodily harm; she had rejected Potter's advances for a while now.
Please, Please, Lily please
Set the scene,
I think I'm in love now,
Your eyes are green,
You come from class now.
Easy girl,
I think we're alone now,
Let's get the loving in the potion,
So give up your wand now.
I wanna put my hands on your skin,
Underneath the robes that you're in,
So flick off your charms,
Let the fun begin!
Please please please
C-c-come home with me now,
Please please please
M-m-must be confounded
Please please please
Wanna fly with you
Please please Lily plase.
Sun sets,
The color of fire,
Your red hair,
You're taking me higher.
I'm quite sure what's happening to me,
If you were Jimmy then I would believe,
You love syphilis more than you love me.
Please please please
C-c-come home with me now,
Please please please
M-m-must be confounded.
Please please please
Wanna fly with you
You know I do.
Please please please
C-c-come home with me now,
Please please please
Oh, you got me thinkig of England
Please please please
Wanna fly with you
Please please Lily please
Please please Lily please.
Ba ba ba ba ba dooo.
(Yeah) Ohh, I'm singing to you now,
Girl, I'm promising you now.
I wanna rub my hands through your hair,
Come to the stands with you waiting there
Wanna be making out like we don't care.
C-c-come home with me now,
Oh, m-m-must be confounded
I wanna fly with you,
Yeah, yeah, you know I do.
Please please please
C-c-come home with me now
Please please pelase
Oh, you got me thinking of England
Please please please
I wanna get with you
Yeah, you know I do.
Please please Lily please
Please please Lily please
Please please Lily
Please please Lily
Please please please please me.
The hall was silent and then cheering and then a yelled hex and Severus Snape stormed out while Minerva McGonagall prepared herself to not give in to the temptation of expulsing those silly, idiotic boys.
