I came up with this after watching the Simpsons marathon and watched a Sideshow Bob episode I hadn't heard about (which is surprising given he's my favorite character), titled 'The Man Who Grew Too Much'. While I didn't really care for the episode and thought it overly silly, I found the budding friendship between Bob and Lisa quite charming and the possibility of a future romantic spark between them quite endearing. This story however contains no romance as it wouldn't be considered appropriate given their ages (though there are hints at a crush on Lisa's end) and starts toward the end of the episode, right as Bob throws himself off the dam. If you haven't watched the episode, I suggest doing so for spoiler's sake and to fully understand what's going on in the story. With that out of the way, enjoy this one-shot.

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"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."

― Walt Whitman

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"Who am I kidding? My only exit...is a final one."

"What, no!" Lisa watched in horror as Sideshow Bob, a man she both feared and admired, climbed over the rail of the Springfield Dam and teetered forward over the edge, ready to put an end to his existence.

"Farewell Simpsons. And Lisa," Bob turned back toward her and gave her a sad smile. "When you're older, do write an auto-biographical novel trashing the rest of them."

Lisa held back a sob. "How veiled?"

"THINLY!" Bob yelled out dramatically as he released his grip.

Lisa let out a gasp and watched as Sideshow Bob plummeted down the side of the dam, smacking against the walls before disappearing into the river below. Choking back a sob, it took everything Lisa had not to cry.

"Now don't you worry, your friend will always be part of our drinking water." Chief Wiggum assured, peering over the side with no concern.

"Hello, can I get some medical attention over here?" yelled Kearny, who lay on the ground with freshly bleeding teeth marks covering his face. "Ugh, I think he sucked one of my piercings out."

"Oh jeez...fine, I'm coming. Man everyone's so needy today." Wiggum sighed in annoyance as he made his way over to Kearny and the other teens who were still recovering from their tussle with Bob.

Lisa remained standing at the ledge, looking sadly down upon the watery grave of her enemy turned friend. "Oh Bob...why?" Against her will, a tear slid down her face.

"Lisa honey, I'm sorry about Sideshow Bob." Marge said putting a hand on her shoulder. "But you can't exactly say you didn't see this coming. After all, he did try to kill you and your brother..."

"Yeah, if anything you should be grateful he's become fish food instead of us." Bart said, snapping off a nearby tree branch. "Now help me search the river for his bloated corpse."

Lisa squeezed the rail, wanting to punch her brother, but restrained herself. "I'd rather not..."

"Suit yourself. I'm gonna go poke things till I find his body. Meet you at home."

Marge grumbled as Bart made his way down the ladder into the dam's ravine before turning back to Lisa. "My point is you shouldn't feel too bad about Bob. After all the terrible things he's done to this family, he's finally made his own grave and is now he's lying in it...sorta speak."

"I know, I know. I should hate him for everything he's done. I just thought...I hoped..." Lisa struggled to complete her sentence but instead let out a gasp and starting crying. Marge hugged her daughter tightly.

"Aww, come on sweety, let's get you home. You've had one intense day." Marge then guided Lisa away from the railing and back toward the car.

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Lisa went straight up to her room once she got home and closed her door. Finally alone, she released all her pent up sadness into her pillow till it was drenched with tears.

"Why…why am I such a gullible fool? To believe he had changed and actually wanted to be my friend…"

It frustrated Lisa to find herself grieving so deeply over a lying, criminal mastermind. After all, everything her mom had said about Bob was true. Not only had he tried killing her and her whole family on several occasions, he had tried demolishing their home and almost blew up their town over his hatred of television. He even attempted to kill her Aunt Selma just for her money. His whole criminal career involved lying and manipulating those around him and this time was no different. She was just another one of his pawns. It should have been easy to despise him. After all, he was Sideshow Bob. Evil genius, homicidal maniac, attempted murderer. He deserved whatever fate had befallen him.

And yet, Lisa couldn't bring herself to hate him. In their short time together he ceased being Sideshow Bob and just became Bob, a sophisticated gentleman, eloquent reader, and avid music lover. All the quality time they had spent growing genetically enhanced vegetation, singing duets composed by Gershwin, bonding over their love of fine arts, it all felt too real and genuine to have been a part of his evil scheme. She considered him more than just a casual acquaintance and occasional menace, she had thought of him as her friend. Losing his company made her feel like she lost a part of herself, like the world had suddenly become less bright and musical.

"Lisa, I'm making dinner! Be ready in 15 minutes!" Marge called out from downstairs.

"Okay I will." Lisa called back, letting out a sigh.

Sitting back up, Lisa wiped away her tears. Now was the time to put on her brave face. As much as she wanted to spend the day crying in her room, she knew better than to show her feelings to her family. Marge would be overly worried and cynical, Homer would either be indifferent or indignant based on his mood, and Bart would be flat out mad that Lisa dare mourn the loss of his greatest arch foe. She was better off just suppressing her emotions like she usually did.

"Hopefully dad will have gotten drunk beforehand. Then at least they'll all be too distracted by his antics to notice me." Lisa hoped halfheartedly.

As she got up to get ready, Lisa's foot touched something under her bed. Looking down, she picked up a small, worn out book. Looking at the faded cover of a curly haired man, the memory of how she obtained it came flooding back to her.

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"There. That should be the last batch of Pomato juice." Lisa said as the last jar of genetically engineered food paste twisted the lid on itself shut. "Well I should probably be getting home. Mom's making pork chops tonight and I want to make sure she doesn't sneak any bits into my tofu...again…"

"Lisa, wait." Sideshow Bob said, putting a hand her shoulder. "Before you go, there's something I'd like to give you."

"What is it?" Lisa asked.

Bob then pulled on the chain attached to his leg, sliding the large cinder block forward. Looking around quickly, he then opened a small hidden compartment within the block and pulled out a flat object. "I use this to smuggle in cigarettes for the prisoners to trade with. It was also the only way I could bring you this."

Bob handed Lisa a small package, wrapped in slightly soiled newspaper and fast food wrappers.

"Forgive the crudeness of the wrappings. I tried using only recyclable material I found during trash pick-up, as I know is your preference."

"Bob, that's so thoughtful." Lisa said, admiring the refined wrapping of the present. "You didn't have to get me anything...although now that you did, I'm really eager to see what it is!" Excited, she tore off the paper and looked curiously at the small gift. "Is this a library book?"

"A 'prison donated' library book." Bob corrected. "I managed to salvage it before my fellow prisoners added it to their bonfire during the latest riot. It's gotten me through some dark times in solitary confinement and I thought you'd appreciate it. Consider it my thanks for all your help in the lab."

Lisa opened the inside cover and her eyes lit up. "It's a poetry book! An unedited first edition! These are hard to find."

"Indeed it is. This book contains an enchanting collection from some of the finest poets to grace literature with their works. It helped me see the light when everything was darkest. Everyone from Dickinson to Shakespeare to Poe is in there. And yes, it also contains our favorite, Walt Whitman." Bob smiled and winked at her.

Lisa blushed slightly at his generosity but then felt a wave of guilt overtake her. "Bob, this is a lovely gift you've given me, but I'm afraid I can't accept it. I mean, I have access to plenty of poetic reading material. I doubt you have that same luxury back in prison. Keeping this feels like I'm depriving you of something special..." She then put the book on the table and slid it towards Bob, who shook his head and pushed it back towards her.

"On the contrary Lisa." Bob said. "Thanks to our latest excursions, I've discovered that I'm no longer in need of the book anymore. For you see, you've provided me with something far more substantial. Something I haven't felt in a long time. The buzz from an intelligent and stimulating conversation. The exhilaration of reciting a good old fashion tune with segments of refined literature and poetry. And the excitement of new potential ideas and encounters to come. Only someone as clever and thought-provoking as you can create that feeling...and that's special enough for me."

"That's so beautiful and eloquently put." Lisa gushed. "But are you sure?"

Bob then took her hand in his and placed it on top of the book. "I insist. Please accept it Lisa...for me?"

Lisa looked from Bob's pleading eyes and charming smile, to his hands which rested upon hers. It took everything Lisa had not to fawn and giggle like a silly school girl. She smiled at him gratefully. "I will. Thank you Bob."

"Twas my pleasure." He said, taking his hand off hers. "I know your home life must be difficult, what you and your family being on...ahem...different levels of mental capability." Bob said, trying his best to find a lesser form of insult. "But I hope, at times when you feel alone and discouraged, you'll read this book and feel the same sort of inspiration I felt. I don't doubt someone as clever as you would be able to get that message."

"I'm sure I will." She then picked up the book and held it tightly, like she was holding the most important treasure in the world. "So…I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow it is. Till then, my little veggie mite." Bob gave Lisa a short bow which she returned. As she made her way out the door, Lisa let out a happy sigh, her cheeks aglow with elation.

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Lisa looked down at the book, tears streaming down her eyes as she relived the memory.

"Oh Bob...was that whole exchange really just another one of your tricks?"

She looked down at the man on the cover, who in her grief reminded her so much of Bob, and carefully opened it to the first page. The print was slightly faded and the edges of the pages were weathered and torn, but the poems were still readable and the book did indeed seem to carry all the best works of poets she admired. She continued to thumb through the pages, noticing that some of them contained crude graffiti marks and drawings, no doubt made by the brutish prisoners that inhabited the library at Springfield Penitentiary. It was a wonder the book managed to survive as long as it did.

Suddenly Bart burst through her door in a panic.

"Lise! You won't believe this! Sideshow Bob's alive!"

"What?" Lisa dropped the book in surprise. "He is? But how?"

"No idea! I was poking around the river and saw a bunch of large footprints in the mud next to a broken rake. Which means he's alive and could be on his way here right now to seek revenge! Quick, lock all your doors! Help Maggie seal her crib shut! Board up the dog house!" Bart then raced downstairs and started nailing every door in the house shut, including the windows and doggy doors.

"Hey, who locked the bathroom? I really gotta go!" Homer yelled as he banged loudly on the boarded up bathroom door while dancing on one leg. "Oh why did I eat all those prune bars and brownie laxatives at the churches old folk bake sale?"

As Homer ran back downstairs, Lisa closed the door to her room, still shocked by what Bart said.

"It can't be possible." Lisa stood there in disbelief. "Can it?"

She heard a rustling and then looked down where the book had fallen open and noticed an odd looking page out of place. "What's this?"

Picking up the book, she noticed it had opened up to the 'Walt Whitman' section and contained a page that looked like it had been torn off, taped back on and deliberately folded over. Gently she removed page from the book, undid the tape and flipped open the page.

On it contained a poem titled 'As the Time Draws Nigh'. Her curiosity peaked, she started reading the passage.

"As the time draws nigh, glooming, a cloud,

A dread beyond, of I know not what, darkens me.

I shall go forth, I shall traverse The States awhile- but I cannot tell whither or how long;

Perhaps soon, some day or night while I am singing, my voice will suddenly cease."

Reading it over carefully, Lisa gasped in realization. "Bob faked his death...he wanted to disappear. That was his real plan all along!"

It all made sense now. Bob had never intended for world domination. He just wanted to start over again. And all the aspects of his plan made it possible. His job at Monsarno gave him the money and resources he'd need to travel, the genetic modification would help him survive falling off the dam as well as erase all traces of his original DNA on record, and he had purposely alerted the cops back at the museum so they could witness his escape and write it off as suicide. It was the perfect plan.

"He's still out there...I need to tell somebody-"

But before Lisa could step foot outside her room, she found herself instantly changing her mind. Perhaps it was just better to let Bob escape. After all, he hadn't actually harmed anyone with his crazy scheme and had gone beyond normal lengths to achieve his freedom. And deep down, despite knowing he had deceived her, Lisa couldn't help but feel relief that Bob wasn't actually dead. Hopefully this time, he'd managed to make a fresh new start somewhere far away from Springfield and his criminal past. Hopefully this time, it would be permanent.

Lisa sighed. "Well Bob, it looks like one of your plans has finally succeeded. And no one knows it except you and me...me….wait a minute…"

As she finished her thought, a peculiar yet familiar memory nagged at her. She then found herself thinking back to the day she first got the book and everything Bob had said:

"And yes, it also contains our favorite, Walt Whitman."

"I've discovered that I'm no longer in need of the book anymore."

"I hope, at times when you feel alone and discouraged, you'll read this book and feel the same sort of inspiration I felt".

"I don't doubt someone as clever as you would be able to get that message."

"He wanted me to find that poem…But why? There's got to be more to it." Lisa re-read the poem, feeling a little confused. It wasn't like Bob to let anyone in on his plans, much less Lisa, the girl who helped foil so many of his evil schemes in the past. Why then did he give her the book and draw attention to that particular poem? Why would he risk her finding out and potentially ruin a plan that had worked out so well?

"Found it!"

Lisa then noticed a second fold at the bottom of the page that had been double taped. Undoing it, she revealed the rest of the poem which was circled and highlighted with the words 'To LS' written before it. Intrigued, she read on:

"O book, O chants! Must all then amount to but this?

Must we barely arrive at this beginning of us?

And yet it is enough, O soul!

We have positively appear'd. That is enough."

The passage ended with the initials 'R.T' scribbled at the end. Re-reading it, Lisa felt a smile form on her face.

"I don't believe it...he wasn't faking..."

There was no denying it now. Bob wanted her to read this passage. Not only to know that he was still alive and now going into hiding, but to reassure her that their time together wasn't just a ploy in his evil scheme. He had sought to redeem himself in her eyes. To show that he truly valued their newfound friendship, and was just as sad that it couldn't continue. All he had wanted from her was acceptance. And he had gotten it.

"Oh Bob, you do care."

Her eyes misting up, Lisa closed the book and held it to her chest, leaning back onto her bed with a sad yet hopeful smile on her face, happy in the knowledge that while he may have faked his death, he did not fake their friendship.

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Down by the river bank, a sopping wet individual emerged from the waters and crawled toward shore. Shaking the water from his large red mane, Bob took in several large breaths before collapsing onto the shore.

"Oh thank goodness..." Bob exhaled in relief. "Fortunate that I added some frog DNA to help my lungs re-adapt or I'd be done for."

Coughing up water, Bob got shakily to his feet and was instantly hit in the face with a rake. "Ugh, where do these accursed things keep coming from?" Growling in anger, he grabbed the rake and broke it in two before throwing it back into the river. "Try hitting me now you wooden bastard!"

Shaking off the pain in his head, Bob managed to calm down and regain his composure. "Well it was a far more painful escape then I expected, but it seemed to have worked out nicely. Now just to make sure no wandering eyes have lingered."

Bob looked back up toward the ledge from which he jumped, wanting to make sure no one was checking to see if he survived. Keeping his body hidden behind a tree, Bob used his eagle eye sight to find the people who witnessed his fall. Thankfully most of them had either left or were being distracted. The only person he could spot looking in his general direction was Lisa, who appeared to be crying and was now being comforted by her mother.

Bob frowned, feeling guilty for having to once again deceive Lisa, the only Simpson to which he felt a deep personal bond. While his plan to escape had hinged on winning Lisa's trust and friendship, the two things occurred that he didn't expect to happen. One was the immense enjoyment he felt when spending time with Lisa, and the second being the immense emotional pain he felt when he had to put an end to it.

"My dear sweet Lisa," Bob watched as the sad young girl hugged her mother. "While I know you must hate me now for what I've done, I hope you may find it in your heart to forgive me some day. And if our paths should never cross again, I do hope you find the type of happiness and companionship you so rightfully deserve."

Bob watched as Lisa was escorted to the family car, his heart aching with regret as he recited a quote from one of his favorite poets:

'And, in parting from you now, thus much let me avow. You are not wrong, who deem, that my days have been a dream.'

He waited till the car had driven away before turning towards the forest.

"Farewell, my equally minded friend...may luck and fortunate favor us both."

With that, he raced up river, away from the budding lights of Springfield and from everything he knew, disappearing into the dense woods beyond.

END

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I originally intended for this to be a one shot but after a long brainstorming session while at work, I came up with an entire full length story of what would happen when Bob and Lisa crossed each other's paths again years later, when she got to college. Please let me know what ya'll think of this one-shot and whether I should make it the prologue to my new story or leave it as is. Either way, I still enjoyed writing this and hope you all enjoyed reading it as well.

And for those of you wondering, the poem recited by Bob was from 'Dream Within A Dream' by Edgar Allen Poe.