This is a Jo/Dean centered fanfiction. If you don't like the pairing... well, don't read it.
My body belongs to Dean Winchester and my soul to Eric Kripke. I don't own anything.
Wrong Time Again
It was just like any other day, wasn't it? She had a hunt on the afternoon and the night shift at the bar. This hadn't been the first time she couldn't save somebody from some monster. But this time she couldn't save him. He was just a kid, maybe 8 or 9 years old. And that beast had killed him before she even realized what was happening. You wanted to be a hunter, Joanna? Well, you are a hunter. You should learn to deal with that. But it wasn't that easy. Now she understood that kind of darkness that used to surround all those hunters she had met at the Roadhouse.
She was grateful that at least tonight the bar was empty. There had been just a few couples and a group of friends tonight, and they'd left about an hour ago. All she wanted to do was close the door and go back to the motel. Maybe take a shower. Maybe just cry herself to sleep. That was what she'd been wanting to do since she could remember. Shouldn't she be happy? She didn't even have the strength to think about that at the moment. She just wanted to get away from the world, at least for tonight.
Then, the bar's door opened. Someone was entering. She sighed. All she wanted to do was leave. Weren't there other places to go in the city? Then she realized who the guy was. She sighed again. Him. As always he appeared without warning, covered in his leather jacket. And this time he was alone. She wasn't surprised to see him there. It had been a while since he'd started doing that. He would came into the random bar she was working at the moment and have a couple of beers. Sometimes he was talkative. Sometimes he didn't say a word. The first few times she would ask him what was he doing there. He wouldn't answer, so she stopped asking. It's not like she minded it at all. She felt happier everytime he entered that door. But not tonight.
-Hey, Jo!
She sighed one last time. She didn't know if she was going to be as strong as she had to be when he was around.
-Hey, Dean. Beer?
He nodded.
Any other night she would try and talk to him. She would ask him how everything was going. She would ask him where Sam was. She would probably put on something like REO on the machine, just to piss him off and see him make that cute face. But not that night. She just wanted him to go. She was still looking forward to that shower.
-So, how's it going? - he asked. She shrugged her shoulders. She didn't feel like talking. First time since they met that she didn't want to talk to him. First time in a long time that he was the one trying to start a conversation. And she just didn't feel like it. She would probably regret that later. She knew she would probably get that moment stuck in her mind for a really long time. But at that moment she didn't mind. At all. He looked at her, with a serious face. He looked worried.
-Jo, is everything okay?
She had to muster up the little strength she had left that night to answer him. She even smiled. A fake, cold smile.
-Yes, everything is fine.
He nodded. She had the impresion that he didn't believe her. She didn't mind. She just wanted him to leave. She just wanted everybody to leave her alone. She needed to be alone. It hadn't been a good day. He should understand that, and yet, he wouldn't leave. He wouldn't give her that favor. Instead, he got up and walked to her. He put his hand on her shoulder. She didn't move.
-You know, if you need anything, we're at that motel at the end of the road.
This time she was the one who nodded, but she didn't even try to smile. So that time it was he the one who wanted things to change. He was the one who was tired of being stuck in the same deadlock in their relationship.
She laid back. He looked disappointed, but he resigned. He left through the door, leaving the glass still half full. She knew she would regret that moment for the rest of her life. But now she was the one who didn't want that to happen. Not that night.