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Chapter 1

Insecurities

Lisa breathed heavily, trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling that always followed Apparition. She looked around the dirty dark street and immediately oriented herself, heading to the familiar building. After a quick glance at the row of windows, she found the one she was looking for, and since there were no pebbles in the back streets of London, she levitated a discarded can and knocked it against the glass repeatedly. In a couple of minutes, a pair of hands lifted the window open, and the sleepy, disheveled head of Dorcas Meadowes peered down at her.

"A bit late for a visit, don't you think?" the brunette hissed.

"You're up anyway." Lisa shrugged. "Meet me outside?"

Dorcas rolled her eyes with annoyance and went back inside. Lisa moved to sit at the stairs to the apartment building, sinking into her unpleasant thoughts. After a few minutes, Dorcas walked out in her purple dressing gown, carrying a six-pack of Appletiser. Her muggle dad was crazy about the stuff, and their home always had it in abundance. She sat down beside her best friend and was about to scold her for waking her up in the middle of the night when a passing car illuminated the blonde witch's saddened face and made her reconsider.

"So what happened?" Dorcas asked, handing her a bottle.

"I was a downright bint, that's what happened," said Lisa bitterly.

"Was it that bad?"

"Worse."

Lisa sank into her own miserable thoughts again as Dorcas opened a bottle for herself and took a sip.

"So are you gonna tell me, or do I go learn Legilimency?"

Lisa sighed deeply. "We got into a fight."

"I gathered that much."

"And I broke up with him."

Dorcas choked on her drink. "You what?! Why?"

Lisa groaned miserably and buried her face in her knees. "He was being... well, Remus, and started talking about splitting up again."

"What's the big deal? He talks about that all the time."

"That's exactly it! I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over again! I keep repeating the same exact things, and he keeps bringing up that one and only argument – that he's not good enough for me! It grades on the nerves after a while, you know?"

"So you ran your mouth off again?"

"I couldn't help it! He pissed me off!"

"And you decided breaking up with him would fix it?"

"Yes! No! I just... I was angry, and I sort of..." Lisa trailed off miserably.

Dorcas nodded in understanding. "You do have a mouth on you. Remember in fourth year when you called me a 'dirty slapper'?"

Lisa looked stunned. "I did that? When?!"

"After you found out I snogged Fabian Prewett. You used to have a crush on him, remember? You threw a book at me."

Lisa chuckled lightly. "Oh, yeah. Wasn't that two days after he asked me out?"

"One date doesn't necessarily mean commitment. Need I remind you of your experience with Seth Tenley?"

"You also broke up with him after that, if I remember correctly."

Dorcas shrugged. "I wasn't that into him. It was for the best."

Lisa's face fell again. "That's what Remus kept saying. That it would be better this way for everyone... that it was what he wanted... and... I don't know what happened. I just snapped."

They were quiet again for a bit.

"... You know he didn't mean it, right?" Dorcas asked quietly.

"Of course I know that! He's just insecure. But it's a pain in the bum to put him back together every single time he falls apart! It happens once a week!" Lisa exclaimed in frustration.

Dorcas sipped from her drink thoughtfully. "Did you mean what you said?"

Lisa sighed. "No. You know I didn't. But I hurt him, Cass. I could see it in his eyes."

"Then you best go apologize."

"I wanted to cool off a bit first. Another screaming match won't do either of us any favors."

Dorcas sighed but put an arm around her friend. "What is it with you Gryffindors? Are anger issues a prerequisite to being sorted there? I swear, hanging out with you lot is like walking around a firework factory with a lit cigarette."

Lisa managed a weak laugh.

oOo

Remus paced around his room, feeling like he would go mad any second. He had always thought that because of what he was, he could never be close to anyone romantically. Not many girls tried to get close to him, but he immediately turned down those that did. During last year, he constantly wanted to kick himself for slipping in regards to Lisa, for letting himself want her. When they had finally gotten together four months ago, he couldn't believe how happy he felt, being able to hold her and kiss her and look at her as much as he wanted, but the fear was ever-present. The fear that she would see him for what he was, the fear others could find out and she'd suffer for it and worst of all – the fear he might hurt her.

He still remembered meeting her while transformed, lunging at her, wanting to bite, to claw, to kill her. The memory haunted his nightmares, even after all this time. What if it happened again? If he harmed her, he would never forgive himself. He tried to break it off many times, always afraid in the back of his mind that she would agree and leave him. And that was exactly what happened.

He told himself again and again that it was what had to be done, that someone like him could never be worthy of love, but now that she was gone, he missed her, so badly it felt like he was losing himself. He felt so vulnerable without her, like a child, lost in the woods, like he didn't know how to be without her anymore. All he wanted was to run, to find her, to hold her close and never let go again.

Tangling his fingers in his hair, he pulled painfully, trying to regain some semblance of control over himself. She was gone, and he was alone, and that was how it had to be.

Suddenly, there was a faint pop, and Lisa materialized in the room. It took every single ounce of self-control he had not to scoop her in his arms and beg her to never leave him again. She breathed out a sad sigh and slowly approached, reaching out to hug him.

He forced himself to take a step back. "You made the right decision."

For a second, anger flashed in her eyes, and he thought she might slap him. Then she flung herself forward and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.

"Shut up," she muttered in his shoulder.

"Lisa..."

"Don't. Just don't." She placed a kiss on his neck, then behind his earlobe, and then his cheek. "I love you. Forget everything else."

"I can't," he whispered, wondering why he kept doing this to himself. She pulled back slightly to look at him.

"Alright then. Don't forget. I've seen the best of you, and I've seen the worst of you, and I have made an educated choice. I want to be with you."

"Why?" He caught himself slipping again. "Why do you love someone like me?"

She gazed deeply into his green eyes. "There doesn't have to be a reason."

She kissed him gently, and it was so sweet, so right, he felt whole again. His arms rose to envelop her, his lips moved to reciprocate, and his heart ached to be closer to hers. Her fingers tangled in his hair slowly, tracing over the spot on the back of his neck that made him shiver. The ache in his chest intensified; his breathing became more ragged, and one of his hands roamed her back urgently while the other stroke the side of her neck. The sheer need overwhelmed him as she sighed his name softly, and his hands ran over the smooth skin of her back, riding up her Montrose Magpies jersey. Desperation flared up inside him, a desire to caress and taste and feel every last inch of her. Sensing he was about to cross a clear line he had drawn for himself, Remus broke the kiss and buried his head in the crease of her neck.

"I love you," he whispered against her skin.

oOo

Lisa woke up the next morning and sleepily pulled herself up. The sun was low on the horizon, meaning she still had time to sneak back home before her parents noticed she wasn't in her room. Not that she spent that much time in it since the summer break started, anyway. Most nights she simply cuddled up to Remus, because his warm, steadily breathing body was the only thing that even remotely made her feel at home. Her parents had moved her sister's bed out of the room, but the emptiness was still there. Lisa just couldn't handle falling asleep in a place that held so many memories.

She looked down at her boyfriend's sleeping face and chuckled to herself a bit, seeing a thin stream of saliva drip from the edge of his mouth, all the way to his chin. She kissed him lightly and carefully got out of bed. Scribbling a quick note on his nightstand, she threw him one last look and Disapparated.

Materializing in her room, Lisa climbed into her own cold bed with a heavy sigh, laid there and waited for her mother to call for breakfast.

oOo

On the 1st of September, Frank came to take Lisa to platform 9 ¾. Mr. and Mrs. Fawley were still on the Death Eaters' hit list for leaking their names to the press, so they decided it would be too dangerous to send her off, considering many of Voldemort's followers could be there. Having just been accepted into the Auror program, her cousin was the perfect candidate for the job.

"Be careful, sweetheart," Mrs. Fawley said, squeezing Lisa's stiff body in a tight hug and straightening her jacket.

"And take this with you," Mr. Fawley added, handing her a light, soft package. She stared at it in surprise.

"... The Invisibility cloak? Isn't it against the rules to bring it to school?" Frank called from her side.

"Rules aren't that important right now," her father insisted. "You never know if..."

"Dad. Dumbledore is at Hogwarts. Right now, it's the safest place there is," Lisa stated dully.

"I want you to keep it with you at all times. Just in case."

Lisa shrugged and put the cloak in her luggage. After giving her grandparents much more cordial goodbyes, she and Frank flooed to the Leaky Cauldron.

"It wasn't their fault, you know," he said after the two of them got into a muggle taxi. "You can't be cross with them forever."

"I'm not trying to be," Lisa replied through gritted teeth.

"Oh, really? Because it seems to me you are."

She looked out the window, refusing to say anything.

"They loved her too," Frank said in a low voice.

Lisa's angry gaze snapped to meet his, and her vision was getting blurry. "Then they shouldn't have let her die!"

"You really think they didn't do everything they could?" he asked calmly. "What did you think, that they sent a few spells at the Death Eaters, then decided to call is a day and left Julie there?" At the mention of her sister's name, the tears in Lisa's eyes overflew and slowly made their way down her cheeks. "It was dark; they were vastly outnumbered and caught completely off guard. She was in a different room, Death Eaters were everywhere... They did everything they could to save her."

Lisa's hands flew to cover her ears, but Frank grasped them firmly and pulled them down. "You need to hear this. You have to come to terms with Julie's death, and you have to forgive your parents." She broke down into sobs while her cousin just stared at her sadly. "I miss her too," he said. "But you blaming Uncle Rob and Aunt Dawn won't accomplish anything."

"Th-they were there!" Lisa shouted. "They w-were there and they l-let her die!"

"You know that's not true. They loved Julie too."

"If they loved her, they would've protected her!"

"Sometimes things are just out of your control. Would you have felt better if they died too, in an empty attempt to save her?"

"At least I'd know they tried! If I were there, I would have never left without her!"

"And you would've gotten yourself killed!" Frank snapped, finally raising his voice and making her stare in shock. "You need to learn to stop running right into danger! You have to start thinking, before your stupidity kills someone!"

Lisa gaped at him, eyes still wet with tears. She knew he was referencing last year, when she almost died running straight onto the Forbidden Forest in a foolish attempt to save Dorcas. If it wasn't for Frank and the rest of the Defenders, a group formed within the school to protect muggle-borns from attacks, both she and Dorcas probably wouldn't have made it out alive.

"In the real world, you can't always save everyone," Frank said with a sigh. "You need to learn when it's time to cut your losses. Pointless heroics will only end in more death."

The taxi stopped in front of King's Cross Station, and the two cousins got out, with Frank quickly adjusting the driver's memory to think they talked about proper turnip care the whole way. They made their way to the Hogwarts Express where he helped her get her luggage up in an empty compartment.

"Hey!" Dorcas greeted, appearing at the door. "You okay?" she added, seeing her friend's reddened eyes and that Remus wasn't around.

Lisa nodded and hugged Frank goodbye.

"Think about what I said," he told her.

"... Alright. Be careful out there. And write often!"

Frank patted her head, waved to Dorcas and left to find Alice before it was time to get off the train. The two girls settled across each other and watched the various families say goodbye to their children.

"So... Frank got into the Auror program, huh?" Dorcas started. Lisa nodded shortly. "Why isn't Lupin with you?"

"We agreed it'd be best if we arrived separately. Neither of us wants people to know my family is hiding near his."

The brunette nodded in understanding just as the compartment door slid open again, and Lily and Marlene walked in, followed shortly by Dorcas' friends Nataly Prior and Dahlia Fleur-Peri. The girls talked pleasantly about their vacations and Lily's new Head Girl-ship, purposefully ignoring the Voldemort-related incidents. No one talked about Julie's death, and even as Alice eventually joined them, they didn't mention the news about Mary McDonald in the paper two weeks ago.

A/N: This, as you may have guessed, is the sequel to "There doesn't have to be a reason", continuing the story of Remus and Lisa. If you are new to this story, feel free to read the prequel, though it's not necessary. Outside of a few references here and there, I'll try to make it so you don't need to have any previous knowledge, and I'll explain everything so that you are not left confused. Rated M for explicit adult content in later chapters.