a/n: So this just came to me when I was watching NCIS 4x11, the one with the sexual harrassment lecture. I watched it and it hit me. Because if there is any workplace that is a sexual harrassment lawsuit waiting to happen, it's Seattle Grace. Plus Tony and Ziva's antics are almost exactly what would go on if our favorite doctors were stuck in that lecture. And so this was born. I lifted the concept of the lecture from NCIS, but it's not word for word, and I twisted it to suit my purposes.
disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, NCIS, or sexual harrassment.
There are a million and one places the staff of Seattle Grace Hospital would rather be right now. Home. Surgery. At the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Anywhere but in the conference room attending a lecture on sexual harassment.
There are a million and one places Alex Karev would rather be. Home. Surgery. At the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Or, oh yeah, screwing his girlfriend of three weeks senseless. Anywhere except sitting across the table from his insanely hot girlfriend, listening to a lecture on sexual harassment, while said girlfriend makes bedroom eyes at him.
"Now, there are three levels of contact. Green light is anything that is commonplace and acceptable—a handshake, for example."
Izzie raises her hand. "What about hugging?"
The lecturer actually looks a bit alarmed. "Absolutely not!" she exclaims.
"Why not?" Izzie asks.
"Some people might feel uncomfortable with the physical contact. It's a classic yellow light situation. You always have to ask before touching anyone!"
Everyone rolls their eyes stealthily.
"But physical contact isn't the only way to harass someone," the lecturer continues. "It can also be through words. Even looks can be harassing."
Oh, this is too good an opportunity for Alex to pass up. The perfect chance for him to get back at Addison for all those smoldering gazes that have made it increasingly difficult to concentrate.
He stands up. "So, if someone were to look at you like this—" He drags his eyes over the lecturer to imitate the looks he's being given.
"That's absolutely harassment! Are you saying this actually occurs in the workplace?"
Addison's death glare clearly screams that if he says one word not only will she send him to work with Sloan, she'll also not sleep with him for at least a week.
"N-no," he stutters quickly. "Not at all."
Addison smirks.
And then she stands up. "What about a comment about how great a pair of heels make your legs look?"
"Hmmm, that's borderline. Are they made in a sexual manner?"
"Definitely in a sexual manner," Addison smirks.
"Yellow light behavior," the lecturer declares. "You should definitely report it."
"Oh no," Addison stammers. "This is purely hypothetical."
The lecturer frowns. "There is no upside to allowing sexual harassment to continue, ma'am."
"Purely hypothetical," Addison repeats with a charming smile.
The lecturer drops it and continues with her talk. Alex stifles a yawn. And then Addison makes it very clear that she agrees with him by running her foot up and down his leg. As it gets nearer his thigh, he glances over at her. She rewards him with a lazy smile. A lazy, incredibly sexy smile.
He gulps.
And then raises his hand. "So if someone were to, say, run their foot against your leg, that would be red light behavior, right?"
Addison looks shocked. He smirks at her until she removes her foot from his leg and glares at him. Then he misses the contact.
"That is absolutely correct," The lecturer affirms.
Addison grits her teeth and raises her hand. "What about someone stopping an elevator, when they know you're in a hurry, to kiss you. Red light, right?"
Everyone but Addison and Alex look at Derek, who quickly exclaims his innocence to Meredith. Only Addison and Alex know that she's referring to an incident from earlier this morning.
Finally the poor lecturer figures out that no one is taking any of the material seriously. "You all should take this very seriously," she lectures. "No one wants a lawsuit."
Everyone bursts out laughing.
0ooo0
Later that day, Addison and Alex step onto an elevator. Slowly people trickle out until they're alone. It takes approximately three seconds for Addison to exclaim, "I can't believe you reported me to that poor woman for looking at you!"
"Me?" he replies easily. "You reported me for saying your legs look hot!"
"That was completely out of retaliation, and you know it," she replies with a laugh. "Well, anyways I learned one thing out of all this."
"What?"
"You sexually harass me a lot."
He pulls the emergency stop button and the elevator obeys. Addison smirks. "Wait, didn't we just go over this? Isn't this red light behavior?"
"Only if you don't consent," he replies, placing kisses all down her neck.
"Mmm… red light means… um… stop. Alex," she says distractedly. He doesn't listen. When he reaches the neckline of her shirt, he proceeds to kiss back up the other side of her neck.
"You sure I'm harassing you?" he asks as he reaches her jawline.
"Mmm… no…" she hums. "Green light behavior, definitely."
Then she dips her head to kiss him and they stop talking.
So I hope you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it. XD
-Juli-