A/N: I know, I normally post Total Drama fics, but welcome to another part of my world.

"Hey, dude, take a look at this," Kyle said, nudging Stan's arm.

His friend's attempt at getting his attention caused the beer Stan was taking a swig from to spill out of his mouth and on to his hoodie and jeans. "Kyle, what the fuck," He exclaimed in frustration, "Now I'm totally going to smell like beer. Do you want me to get in trouble?"

"I'm sorry, man," Kyle responded, upset that Stan was upset. Pissing off your best friend is one of the worst things one could do, especially when he was getting plastered, "I just wanted to show you this thing that could help with our chapter notes."

Stan sighed and leaned in to see Kyle's MacBook screen projecting a bar graph. "The fuck is that"

"It's a bar graph."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Fuck off, Watson."

That got Stan to crack a smile. "Cute." He snarkily told him.

As Stan took another swig of his beer, Kyle explained the graph. "It shows that sexual activity becomes more common as kids get older, even more so among males."

Stan put his can down, glanced over at Kyle and asked, "What does this have to do with chapter notes?"

"Stan," Kyle said, rolling his eyes, "We're in AP Psych, studying sexuality. I'm gonna see the page this photo was from."

"Sure, man, go ahead," Stan said, staring into the corner of his room, opposite of where he and his friend were. He took another swig of his beer, then glanced back at Kyle, laptop too close to his face as he squinted to focus on the words on the screen. It was kind of… cute, for lack of a better word. It gave him another small smile.

"Dude, did you know that only three percent of males who are 18 and 19 in 2006-2008 reported being homosexual or bisexual, but eight percent of females in the same age range did?" Kyle asked him, looking back up at Stan.

Stan dropped his smile. "That actually is weird, dude." He took yet another swig and went back to staring in the distance.

Stan and Kyle sat in silence together for a moment, only being interrupted by Kyle's typing and Stan's sipping and occasional sighing. "Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you… okay?" Kyle asked him, hesitantly, "You seem kinda… off. It isn't like you to get wasted on a Thursday."

"I'm fine," He responded. He didn't move his gaze from the corner.

"Are you sure?"

Stan sighed, dropped his can, and his head, "No."

Kyle closed his laptop. "What's wrong?"

"Dude, I'm just so fucked." Stan ran his fingers through his dark, messy hair and threw his head back in frustration.

"Stan, we grew up together. You know you can tell me anything."

"It's just…" He began, "When I was driving her home, Wendy was bitching to me about her applications to her Ivy League schools. And that reminded me that my own parents just wish I was Wendy or Kyle so that I could get accepted into the schools I want to go to. I mean, my own parents don't have any faith in me that I can make it into a good school and it's just so fucked up. I mean, there's this perfect school in Virginia and they have all these scholarships, but my parents are telling me 'you'll never get it with your grades' and 'the tuition and airfare is too much, you don't need to try'. I mean, I get it, Shelley's college is expensive and they're still paying it off, but I have dreams, too, and it just stresses me out so much—"

"Hey," Kyle interrupted, taking Stan's arm, "I believe in you. You can make it. You always make it in the end." He smiled at him, hoping that his friend would believe him. Kyle was being honest.

Stan looked him in the eyes, pondering, "Kyle…"

On an impulse, Stan placed a hand on Kyle's cheek. He still had a quizzical look on his face, but Kyle began to grow concerned, confused, and he felt himself starting to blush. Kyle's face became even redder when Stan pulled him in and kissed him. It was only for a couple seconds, and it was just lips being pushed onto other lips, but the hormones were racing. There was so much warmth in just those few moments. When Stan let go, Kyle's eyes were wide and his brow was raised. "Well. That was… different," Stan said. He looked away, embarrassed, and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck to try and cover it up.

And then it was quiet. And there was no chance in hell that they were going to look at each other. "Stan?" Kyle began, still not looking at his friend, "Why did you do that?"

Stan dropped his head to direct his stare to the floor as he mumbled, "To… confirm… things."

"Confirm things?" Kyle wondered. That made him want to give Stan more attention.

"It didn't do a really good job, though," Stan said, head still hanging.

"Oh," Kyle replied, directing his attention away from Stan and toward the corner Stan was staring at earlier.

They sat in silence again. Stan felt his face get red. He wanted to talk to Kyle more about what just happened, but he didn't know what to say. It took a bit of nerve, but he ended up saying, "Kyle, I don't know how you did it. I don't know how you did it and I don't know how you take it."

"What?"

"I never told you how brave I think you are and how admirable it is."

"For what?"

"You came out, man."

"It wasn't that big of a deal—"

"No, Kyle, let me finish," Stan was finally looking at him, "It was so fucking brave of you to let the school know that you're bi. I never would be able to do that. You take so much bullshit from Cartman and a bunch of other kids, but you still carry on and it's just so awesome of you—"

Kyle placed his hand on Stan's cheek and brushed his thumb across it. Stan looked at Kyle feeling flustered and his face felt warm again. Kyle kept glancing from Stan's eyes to his lips, which were trembling. Kyle wasn't sure what he wanted other than to comfort Stan. He decided what should be done. He closed his eyes and began to gently kiss him. Stan started to relax as Kyle's lips brushed against his, and he followed suit. Kyle moved his hands to the back of Stan's neck and Stan wrapped his arms around Kyle's waist, pulling him closer. They started becoming more forceful, both wanting more. Kyle ran his fingers through Stan's hair and Stan slid his hands under Kyle's shirt, stroking his back. Kyle let go and exhaled "Stan?" before Stan pulled him back.

Stan continued to kiss him, pushing Kyle further toward the floor. Kyle was pinned on his back on the floor, Stan over him. "Stan."

Stan pulled back a bit, and shook his head in disbelief. "Yeah?" He nervously said.

"You're pretty brave, too." He picked his head up to kiss Stan's cheek.

Stan smiled and blushed. He rolled himself over to lie next to Kyle. "Thanks, man. But I'm still just… confused."

"It's okay, man," Kyle said, looking at the ceiling, "When this was happening to me, I was confused, too."

They sat in silence again. It was only broken by their breathing. "Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Was it just… an impulse? Or was there a time when you—"

"Homecoming."

"Homecoming?"

"When I picked up Wendy, I was like 'damn, she looks really hot' because she was in a tight little black dress and it showed off her body and I was like 'damn'. Then, when we met you at the school and I saw you in that suit and thought 'Kyle looks great'. I kept noticing a bunch of details, like how the tie you wore went well with your eyes and how nice your eyes actually are, and how your hair was like a perfect messy. Like, I wanted to bang Wendy so hard, but I kept noticing you. And it's kind of been like that since. And now I don't know what I'm doing because I just fucking kissed you and I liked it, like a lot, but I still have Wendy and… god dammit I still have Wendy. Fuck."

Kyle was smiling when Stan was rambling about his feelings. When Stan became frustrated, Kyle's smile dropped. "Well… do you love her?"

"Well," Stan began, "Yeah. But I love her the way I love people like you and Kenny, you know? There were times when I felt like I was in love with her, but lately, I haven't been very sure."

"Love is tricky. I get that," Kyle replied, "I mean, it took me a while for me to realize that I'm in love with you—"

Stan shot up from the floor. "Shit," Kyle said, embarrassed, disappointed and scared.

"Hey, it's cool, man," Stan replied. Kyle got up from the floor, too, feeling confused. "No, I mean, this doesn't kill our friendship or anything."

"Oh. Okay."

"Kyle, I do like you… like that. I've come to terms with that. But I just don't know what I'm doing with my current relationship or if I can even publicly be with you if that's even an option… good god, if we dated, our world would not handle it well, Kyle. Our friends, our parents—"

"Hey. It's fine," Kyle put his hand back on Stan's cheek, "I get that you'll need time to figure things out. And as long as we can still be tight if you stick with Wendy, I'll be okay."

Stan put his hand on the hand on his cheek. "You're actually really great, Kyle. I mean it," They both were smiling, looking into the other's eyes, "I really do appreciate—"

Stan's phone rang. He dropped his hand and Kyle dropped his. Stan pulled his phone out of his pocket, and saw the caller ID. "It's Wendy," he said, "Would you mind if—"

"Go ahead," Kyle responded.

"Hey, Wendy," Stan said, standing up, walking to the other side of his room.

"Stan," Wendy cooed over the phone, "My parents went out on a date, so I'm home alone."

"You want me to come over?"

"Hell yea, baby."

"I have Kyle over right now, so I can't just ditch him at my house."

Wendy sighed before continuing, "Stan, I can't stop thinking about you. Please get here quick."

It was rather sexy that Wendy wanted him so much right then. Maybe this was just what he needed. "I'll be over as soon as I can. I'll text you when I'm on my way. Love you."

"I love you, too," and she hung up.

"What'd Wendy want?" Kyle asked as Stan walked back to him.

"She's horny as fuck, dude," Stan said as he sat back down, "Home alone and horny as sin."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I think…" Stan said, not sure if what he was going to say would be the right thing to say, "I think I'm going to have sex with her, and see how I feel after. Is that okay to do?"

"It's okay for you, Stan. But Wendy might not think it's so okay. Be careful with other people's emotions, dude."

"Yeah. I'll try."

"So… are you going to take me home now? You did kind of drive me here."

"Oh. Yeah. Let me get my keys."

Kyle's phone vibrated. He got a text from his mom. "Dude, my mom just said your family is coming over for dinner tonight."

"So I guess I'll see you for dinner?"

"I guess so."

Stan knocked on the door and waited. Kyle's mom opened it. "Hey, Miss Sheila," He said to her, forcing a smile.

"Hello, Stan, come on in," She replied as he walked on in, "You're a bit early. Your parents will be here in about an hour or so. Kyle's in his room."

"Thanks," He said, and he began upstairs, hands in his pants pockets. He stopped at the first door on the left and knocked, "Hey, man."

"You can come in," Kyle said behind the door.

So Stan walked in and saw Kyle just chilling on his bed with his laptop; the plaid shirt he was wearing earlier was at the foot of the bed and he only had a tank top on now. Stan left the door open a crack behind him and sat on the floor, against the bed, by Kyle.

"How'd it go?" Kyle asked

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I felt nothing. I mean, it felt good and shit, but it felt like…" Stan wasn't sure how to continue, but then he decided to ask Kyle something before finishing his thought, "What do one-night-stands feel like?"

Stan knew that Kyle had a lot of flings over the summer with all kinds of boys and girls at his Jewish camp. "In the moment," Kyle began, "Sex is sex. It's always great. But afterwards, it makes me feel kind of… empty. I haven't been hooking up because I don't want that empty feeling. There are other reasons, too, but the emptiness is something that gets me every time."

"I'm feeling pretty empty. And it sucks. After all these years… The spark just isn't there. And I'm starting to doubt that it was ever there."

Stan's head was buried in his knees. He was curled in a ball, muffling all his words and movements. Kyle closed his laptop, put it down, and slid down beside Stan. "I'm sorry," Kyle said, wrapping his arm around him.

"I'm an awful human being," Stan mumbled.

"No, you're not."

"I don't want to just leave her like that. And I honestly don't know if I could be with you like that."

"I understand—"

Stan shot his head up, "I just wish it were easier. I like you. Like, I'm attracted to you, but I'm like weirdly attracted to you. And I wish it wasn't weird, but it is. And if we had some kind of relationship, I have no idea how our parents would react, or our friends or anyone. You haven't come out to your parents yet, have you?"

"No, not yet. I never think anytime is a good time."

"Does your brother know?"

"Yeah, Ike knows. And he won't tell. He's a good kid."

"I trust your brother; I just wanted to know who knows."

Kyle sighed, Stan leaned his head on to Kyle's shoulder. Kyle stroked Stan's arm and leaned his head on to Stan's. This time, the silence was hauntingly comforting. Kyle was debating how much affection he could show without going too far. Stan took Kyle's hand that was around him and took it in his own. "You'll be okay," Kyle said, soothingly, "Everything will work out."

"Boys!" They heard from downstairs. It was Kyle's mom, "Mr. and Mrs. Marsh are here; come down for dinner!"

"I guess we should head down," Kyle began to get up, but Stan grabbed the hem of Kyle's shirt, pulling him back down.

Stan moved around to face him, put his hands on either side of Kyle, and pulled himself forward to kiss him. As he kissed back, Kyle put his hands on Stan's and took a hold of them. Stan got off his knees, put his arms around Kyle's neck, and put his legs around him. "Dude, no, stop. Not now," Kyle said, trying to break free, "My mom's gonna get really mad if we don't come down like now."

"Okay, okay," Stan replied with slight disappointment.

They got up and headed out of Kyle's room, down the stairs and into the dining room. The boys were last to arrive, and were greeted by their families. "What took you boys so long?" Kyle's mom asked.

"He was helping me with our psych homework," Stan said, knowing he's the better liar.

"Well, I'm glad you could finally join us," Stan's mom said.

"What's for dinner ma?" Kyle asked, sitting down. Stan sat next to him.

"Fettuccini alfredo with chicken and broccoli," She answered

"That sounds delicious, Sheila," Stan's mom said

"Oh, it is," Kyle's dad confirmed

While the adults were rambling on, Stan exhaled with concern, remembering what happened this afternoon. Kyle took notice. Under the table, he put his hand on Stan's knee. Stan looked up at him and smiled, comforted. "Stan, Mrs. Broflovski asked you a question," his dad said, frustrated.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat it? I've been feeling a bit… out of it today," He replied, trying to save face.

"I was saying that Kyle just got accepted into Arizona University and was wondering if you have been accepted into any colleges," Kyle's mom said with a smile, about to take a drink from her glass.

He kept his forced smile plastered on his face as he said, "I haven't actually applied anywhere yet. My deadlines aren't until January."

"Well, Kyle decided to apply early and get everything out of the way," Kyle's dad said as he twirled pasta with his fork, "And now, he's just getting accepted left and right. Where are you applying?"

"There's this one school in Virginia that I really love: VCU, Virginia Commonwealth University. They have an amazing arts department. I want to major in music or songwriting," Talking about his dream school made him feel a lot better.

"That's very… brave of you, Stan," Kyle's mom said, hesitantly.

"It's also quite expensive," Stan's dad added, "We're trying to get him to consider University of Denver or Colorado State, but he just loves this school in Virginia."

"It's not like I'm not applying anywhere else," Stan confirmed. He hated it when his parents talked about him like he wasn't in the room, "I'm applying to Colorado College, too."

"Out of state tuition is very expensive," Stan's mom said, almost dismissing what Stan said.

"Yes, we learned that the hard way with Shelly going to Boise State," Stan's dad agreed, also dismissing what Stan said.

Stan sighed, shook his head and rolled his eyes. He started absent-mindedly twirling pasta. Kyle was just awkwardly trying to eat, but Stan felt he couldn't eat at all.

"Stan, are you feeling alright?" Stan's mom asked with concern, "You barely touched your food."

"Sharon," Stan's dad said, "Stan's almost eighteen. If he doesn't want to eat, that's his problem."

"I just don't think it's very polite—" Stan's mom began, but her husband cut her off.

"We can talk to him about manners when we get home, Sharon."

"No need to worry, Marshes," Kyle's mom said, "We'll have lots of good leftovers this week. You boys are excused if you'd like to go upstairs."

Kyle got up first, pushed his chair in, and put a hand on Stan's shoulder. "You coming?" He asked. Stan didn't answer. His head was hanging low and he was staring at his lap. He sighed and silently got up, leading him and Kyle back to the bedroom.

When they got back to Kyle's bedroom, Stan collapsed over Kyle's bed and sighed again. Kyle sat next to him. "Stan…" Kyle started, "If you want to just go home so you can think, it's totally okay."

Stan groaned and ran his hands over his face in agony. "I think I'll do that, Kyle. If it's alright. I'll just tell my parents I have homework or something."

Stan started to get up as Kyle stood of from the bed. Kyle started to walk to the door, but Stan rushed toward him. Stan threw his arms around Kyle and was embracing him with all his might. Kyle wrapped his arms around Stan, running his fingers through his hair.