A/N: YeahHh! Don't ask where inspiration for this came from. I don't know. Big ups for my big sister who edited it for me!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potttter.
James sat down next to Sirius in the great hall. Remus and Peter sat across from them. James scooped himself some eggs and grabbed some bacon. He took a piece of toast with butter on it and he started eating. He realized it was silent after a few moments and he looked up, suddenly feeling unusual tension.
"What's up?" He asked his friends.
Sirius stared at him for a moment. He turned to his plate as he asked, "Where's Lily?"
"Oh," smiled James. "She's in the library." He glowed as he spoke about his girlfriend.
"Why aren't you with her?" Sirius asked.
"I was going to get some breakfast and then grab something for her. She hasn't been eating right lately, so I've been bringing her her meals. Didn't you know that?"
"No." Sirius said.
"Oh..." James said.
An unusually awkward silence fell over the two best friends. Remus glanced up at them suspiciously as James continued to eat. He finished quickly and put some food on an empty plate, and grabbed a fork.
"I'll see you guys later." James said, grabbing his book.
"No." Sirius said, putting his hand out.
"What?" James asked.
"No." Sirius said, standing up. He and James were the same height. Sirius looked James in the eye and James stared at him.
"What's gotten into you lately?" James asked.
"What's gotten into me lately?" Sirius laughed. "Oh, Mr. James Potter is asking what's gotten into me lately! Hey everyone!" He shouted, "Guess what! Apparently there's something wrong with me!"
"What the hell, Padfoot?" James said, confused. "What's the matter with you?"
"Ever since you started dating Lily it's like we don't matter anymore, Potter. Tell me, where were you last week? Wednesday night?"
"What?"
"Where. Were. You." Sirius said like he was talking to a three year old.
"I was... with Lily... why?"
Sirius stared at him and James thought about what last week was. He had been helping Lily with her transfiguration. She was having troubles with it, so he told her he'd help. He had always been outstanding at it. They had sat by a window until the night overtook them in the Gryffindor Common room at a back table. They studied by the moonlight... the moonlight...
"Awe for the love of Merlin!" James shouted.
"And last month, where were you?"
"Lily needed me!" James said. "She was hurting, Sirius, and you know that."
"She was hurting? What about us, Prongs? We're your best friends! What happened to always being there for each other? Since Lily came into the picture it's like you don't give a darn about the rest of the world! Isn't this right, Moony? We've been talking about it. We all agree. There's more to it. If Lily truly loved you she wouldn't care if you spent time with us."
"Boys!" professor McGonagall said, walking up to them. "What has gotten into you two?"
"Black here thinks that I'm ignoring him!"
"All he cares about is his princess Lily."
"You know how much I care about her!"
"I told you James, it's like you don't care about anything anymore! What ever happened to becoming Aurors together, eh? What happened to that, Potter? Are you just stopping it because now that you've got Evans wrapped around your finger you don't give a damn?"
"Whatch your language, Mr. Black."
"I'll watch my language when pigs fly!" Sirius shouted in Professor McGonagalls face.
"Detention. Both of you." She said before walking away. James gave Sirius and annoyed look and left the great hall.
xx
James scrubbed the floors in the hallway on one end while Sirius worked on the other end. Sirius groaned and James looked up to give him a dirty look. There were footsteps coming down the hallway and James looked up behind him to see Lily. He smiled and she walked over to him.
Lily glanced at Sirius and waved.
"Hello, Lily!" Sirius said, sarcasm in his voice. Lily gave him a weird look as she kneeled down next to James. She gave him a quick kiss and watched as he got back to work.
"When do you think you're going to be done?" Lily asked quietly.
"I don't know." James said. "Knowing McGonagall she'll give us another task afterward."
"Oh.." Lily said, a bit depressed. "Why are you here again?"
James glanced at Sirius. "Its McGonagall, that's why."
"I doubt she gives out detentions for no reason." Lily said. "She's not that mean."
"Yeah, well, she doesn't seem to like us Marauders." James smiled.
"Ms. Evans," McGonagall's voice came. Lily turned around and looked up at Professor McGonagall.
"Good evening, Professor." Lily said.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't distract Mr. Potter as he's serving his detention."
"Sorry Professor." Lily said. "I'll be off." She kissed the top of James's and mumbled, "I'll see you later." Before she stalked off.
"I trust you two to complete this task quickly and thoroughly. I will check up on you in another twenty minutes." McGonagall said.
"Yes, Professor." James and Sirius muttered. McGonagall walked off and Sirius stopped scrubing. James stared at him for a moment and then continued to scrub.
"You can't go an hour without seeing her, can you?" Sirius asked.
"I love her, Padfoot. I.. I don't want to loose her."
"Prongs, she rejected you for years. How do you know she's not just using you?" Sirius asked.
"What?" James asked. "She... she wouldn't do that."
"How do you know? You've been on a speaking basis for two years. How well do you know her?"
"You're just jealous."
"Jealous?" Sirius laughed. "I could have any girl in the school, and you think I'm jealous?"
"If you could have any girl in the school then why don't you?" James asked.
"Because I don't want to settle down. What happened to the days when we didn't have a care in the world? When we acted on impulses, eh? When we were inseperable, Prongs? What happened to those days?"
"I grew up." James said, taking his scrubber and continuing to scrub the floors. They were quiet for the next five minutes, making a little progress in their task.
"Hurry up you two, or you'll have to come back to complete this tomorrow." McGonagall said. James ignored her and continued scrubbing the floors. "If this was your third year you two would have done this as fast as you could, just to be back again for another detention. What's wrong with you two?"
No one said anything.
"Alright then. Mr. Potter, you have a meeting to go to in ten minutes for being head boy. I'll let you off then. Mr. Black, you'll have to complete what Mr. Potter doesn't."
McGonagall walked away and James caught Sirius's eye, who gave him a dirty look.
xxx
James sat next to Lily in her group of six other friends. There were four boys and one other girl, all from different houses and a couple sixth years. James heard Lily laugh at something someone said, he wasn't really paying attention and he let out a small chuckle. He felt Lily's hands wrap around his and she held them tightly. Everyone else continued to talk as she kissed his cheek.
"What's wrong?" She asked him.
He shrugged. "Nothing."
"No, James, something is wrong. Tell me."
"Not right now." He said quietly, not wanting to draw attention to him and her. He kissed beneath her ear and she held onto his hand tighter. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I'm gonna go get some fresh air."
"I'll go with you." She said.
"I need to think about a few things." She nodded and let go of his hand. She turned to her friends and he got up. He left without giving her a kiss, not what he usually did, and walked out of the library and down the hallway. He wandered around and he saw Sirius, Remus, and Peter walking up to him.
"James, please, just come to your senses." Sirius said.
"Come to my senses? What do you mean? I'm happy Sirius, I have the girl of my dreams--"
"And you haven't hung out with us in weeks. That's what makes you happy? James, she's running your life! You can't live like this! It's not healthy."
"James, I'm sorry, but you are spending too much time with Lily. Ever since you two got together, it's like you don't care about us. It's not fun on our part, and I doubt you're enjoying--"
"You can't speak for me, Moony." James snapped, interrupting him. "I love Lily--"
"We can tell." Sirius said.
"I don't want to loose her. She doesn't like you guys, 'cept Remus."
"Then how can you date her? Didn't we decide that none of us are going to date anyone if it ruins our friendship?"
"Don't you guys understand?" James begged. He opened his mouth to continue.
"No, we don't." Sirius said. "Come on, guys."
He turned around and Remus and Peter followed him. James stood there. Since when did they follow Sirius around? Didn't they have a mind of their own? Apparently not.
James took a deep breath and sat down on the floor against the wall in the corridor. What had happened? Three months ago he was pulling a prank with those guys. His best friends were now leaving him, all because of some girl. Sirius was right. He was breaking their promise to never let any girl come between any of them. James took a deep breath. She was probably in the library. He walked down the hallway and took a left. He stopped walking and took a deep breath before continuing down the hallway. He walked to the end of it and entered the Library. There was the usual quiet chatter, turn of a page in a book, and scribbling on parchment. A thud came from the back of the library and someone cursed. He guessed they had dropped a book on their foot or something. He casually walked through the library, looking for Lily. He found her. she was now sitting along at a table, her hair a mess. His heart started to beat faster and he took a seat next to her. She looked up at him and smiled.
"I'm almost done with this." She said. She took his hand and he took a deep breath, feeling guilty. He let go of it. He didn't want to do this, but he had to.
"Lily, can we talk?" He asked.
"We can always talk." She said, writing down something on her parchment then putting her quill down.
"Alright." He said. He turned to her and she turned to him. "I really don't want to do this..." She suddenly looked so confused. And vulnerable. And lost. He closed his eyes, fighting back tears. "But... I need to do this." His heart ached as he watched her confused face. Confusion shouted from her eyes. "I... I can't be your boyfriend anymore."
"What?" She said, her voice squeaking. "What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry, alright? I just, I can't... I..."
"Why?"
"Don't take this the wrong way, alright? You mean the world to me. You mean more than anything. I care about you more than myself. And I can't do that. I can just tell... that... it's not going to work out." He couldn't tell her the truth, but he couldn't lie to her either.
"What?"
"I love you, Lily. I never wanted to do this... I... I..." He was at lost for words. She turned from him and picked up her quill to continue her homework. He sat there, she wasn't saying anything, just doing it. She was frustrated with him. He knew it.
"I love you, Lily." James said quietly.
"Leave me alone, Potter." She snapped.
He felt his heart break into a million pieces. She hadn't called him potter for six months. He stood up and walked away, his heart aching. He didn't want to do this. He hated this feeling. He punched the wall, putting a dent in it. He cursed himself as his hand throbbed with pain. He took a shortcut up to the Gryffindor tower and walked up to his dormitory.
"I broke up with her. Are you happy?" James said to his three dorm mates who were staring up at him.
"What?" Sirius asked.
"I broke up with her!" James said. "She's currently in the library, alone, doing her homework." He sat down on his bed, his arms crossed. He was pissed at them.
"Are you serious?" Remus asked.
"No." Sirius said. "I am."
"Not now, Padfoot." James said. His dorm mates stared at him as he sat there.
"You seriously broke up with her?" Remus asked.
"Yes." James said.
"ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME?" Remus shouted. James looked up at him. "You've been fighting for her for the past six years!"
"So?" James said, trying to keep his cool. He was honestly scared out of his wits. Remus never shouted.
"Every time I talk to her she tells me how much she cares about you, Prongs! This was the stupidest thing you've ever done!"
"And that's saying something..." Sirius said.
"For the love of MERLIN! Prongs, what did you tell her?" Remus asked.
"I told her I couldn't. I told her she means the world to me, but it's just... not going to work out." James said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and looked at his feet, crossed out in front of him.
"Is that everything?"
"I'm trying to block it out, Moony." James said. He didn't want to remember the look of confusion on her face. It pained him to think about it. He loved her.
There was a silence over the room.
"I'll be back." Remus said, grabbing his bag and dashing from the room. Lily was like his little sister. He cared about her. And James just broke his heart.
"You did the right thing, Prongs." Sirius said.
"Doesn't feel like it." James muttered.
xx
James sat in the back of the classroom. She wasn't there. It was potions, her best class. She wouldn't miss potions if her life depended on it. She would rather die than miss potion's. His heart ached as he thought of where she'd be rather than potions. She probably wasn't feeling well, although that didn't stop her fourth year when she had the flu. He sighed and looked at Sirius's potion.
"Crap." He muttered. He quickly poured in his ingredients and mixed it together. It started sizzling and his eyes got wide. A big pop came from it and it stopped sizzling. Different things came out of it and it smelled worse than a dung bomb.
"Oh, Merling, Prongs, what was that for?" Sirius asked.
Professor Slughorn rushed over. "Tsk. tsk. tsk, Mr. Potter. It seems you aren't much without Ms. Evans, eh?"
James knocked the cauldron over and glared at Professor Slughorn in the eye. Sirius held him back as Professor Slughorn stared at him.
"Where is Ms. Evans?"
"I wouldn't know." James snarled. Sirius held him back even harder.
"Aren't you two... together?" Slughorn asked, using his hands. James was too furious to cringe. Remus rushed over and grabbed one of James's arms, the anger in his eyes.
"James, calm down." Remus said.
James struggled to get out of his two friend's grip, and suceeded. He grabbed his bag and left the room. The bell rang and he went to his transfiguration class. Lily wasn't there either.
xx
He hadn't seen her for a week. A week. What was wrong with her. He inhaled the scent of onions being cooked and looked over at the house elves across the kitchen. Sirius was eating a hamburger and Remus was sitting there. They were going to pull a prank, James just wasn't sure what one.
"These hamburgers are good." Sirius said.
"Let's make them gross." James said, standing up and pointing his wand at Sirius's burger. Sirius sniffed it. It obviously didn't smell any different. Sirius brought it to his mouth.
"MOO!" It said.
Sirius rolled over laughing, dropping the burger on the floor.
"This is gonna be good!" They charmed the rest of the hamburgers and then left the kitchens to go to the great hall. They sat down and James watched as the hamburgers showed up. Snape reached for one at the Slytherin table and it mooed. Everyone looked around, waiting to find out where the sound cam from. Another one came from across the room and the three boys snickered. Soon enough, the whole room was filled with moos coming from various people's hamburgers.
"That's disgusting." Remus muttered through his laughs. He grabbed a chicken wing and took a bite of it.
"Yep." James said.
"They still taste outstanding." Sirius said, taking a bite of one.
"There's a prefects meeting tonight right?" Remus asked.
"I think so." James said. "Why?"
"I was just wondering. I haven't seen Lily around lately. It's like she's fallen off the face of the earth. I'm thinking I'll see her. Make sure she's alright, y'know?"
James nodded. He felt rather uncomfortable talking about this. "I... gotta go." He said. He stood up and made towards the hallway. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around. He saw Rachel Crawford.
"H...hi..." James stuttered.
"Hi." She said cheerfully, twirling her hair and bouncing on her feet. she was chewing a piece of bubble gum and she blew a bubble. "So, I heard you and Lily broke up. If you ever need some cheering up I'm here." She smiled.
James nodded. "Y...yeah..."
She kissed his cheek and then skipped away.
"Bloody Hufflepuffs." He muttered before walking down the hallway. He turned into the abandoned classroom where the prefects meeting always took place and he sat at the front of the room. Lily walked in looking fragile. His heart started beating faster and she looked at him and then stopped. She smiled awkwardly and then continued up to next to him and set up a few things.
"Here." She said, handing him a piece of parchment. "They're a copy of the notes for the meeting."
"Thanks." He said politely. She nodded awkwardly. She continued to organize things and then sat down in a chair a foot away from him. He glanced at her and his heart ached. The door opened and Remus walked in. He smiled at them and James looked at him. Lily waved and got up. She gave him a hug and James glared at the two.
"You alright?" Remus asked her. She nodded and walked to her chair. Remus sat down across the room and the door opened again. A couple ravenclaws walked in and a hufflepuff behind them. Before James knew it, everyone was there.
"Hello, everyone." Lily said, standing up. She looked around, a bit confused, and smiled. "Uhm... today we are going to go over the..." She stopped.
"The new rounds chart." James said for her.
"Yes." She said. "Thank you. The new rounds chart. Yes..." She started listing it off and James watched her. She was talking slowly and looked out of it, like she was about to pass out. she was sweating and shivering at the same time. She was obviously sick. She stopped talking and then she fell. James jumped to the floor, putting a hand on her pulse she was still breathing. Remus rushed over and took her pulse too.
"It's really fast." He said, looking at her. "We should take her to the hospital wing."
James lifted her up in his arms and she opened her eyes.
"What..." she said quietly.
"Shh..." He said. "You fainted." He said quietly. He turned to everyone. "Uhm... everyone's dismissed, we'll keep the old rounds and then change them next meeting." He told them. He walked out of the room and walked down to the Hospital wing, Remus behind him.
"What're you..."
"Lily, be quiet, all right? You just passed out. I'm taking you to the hospital wing." He said, looking her in the eyes. She smiled and the frowned. His heart melted and he kissed her forehead. "You're a lot lighter than you once were."
"I haven't been feeling well." She said.
He brought her into the Hospital wing and looked at Madam Pomfry.
"What in the world..." She said, walking over to them. She looked at Lily and took her wrist. She put her hand around her wrist. "Ms. Evans, why are you so thin?"
"I... haven't been feeling well." She said.
"Have you been eating?"
Lily blushed a little. "No." she admitted.
"Mr. Potter, put Ms. Evans on a bed." James walked over and put her down on a bed. Lily laid down and James watched madam Pomfry brew a potion quickly and give it to Lily. Lily stared at it.
"Drink." Madam Pomfry said. Lily took a sip as Madam Pomfry ran around. Lily groaned and held her stomach. James sat down besides her and took her hand.
"You alright?" He asked her. She shook her head.
"No, I'm not." She said. "I feel horrible, James. This week has been horrible. I miss you so much." Tears started coming from her eyes. "I can't even express how much I've missed you. I know we weren't together long, but I don't want to spend a day without you, James."
James sighed. "I have friends."
"I know you do. And I promise, I will learn to be their friend as long as I can have you." Lily said.
"Really?" James asked.
She nodded. "Yes. I will learn to be their friend if I can have you, James. You're everything I care about. I know this is probably unrealistic, but... I love you."
"I love you too." James said. Lily stared at him. His heart melted and he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. She smiled and wiped her tears. They looked into each other's eyes, not talking but still understanding each other and how the other felt.
xx
James sat across from Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They all stared at him and he smiled at them. He had told them he needed to tell them something, he just wasn't sure how.
"What is it, prongs?" Sirius asked.
"I... er... got back together with Lily." He said.
"What?" Sirius asked, all the joy in his voice dissipating.
"She... promised to be nice to you guys and give you guys a chance."
"Really?" Sirius asked. "And do you really expect her to go through with that promise? Do you honestly expect her to be nice to us?"
"Yes, I do." James said.
"And if she isn't?" Peter asked.
James sighed. "We don't need to worry about that."
The three stared at him. Lily was still in the hospital wing and he had left her to tell his friends.
"Where is she?" Sirius asked.
"Hospital wing." James said.
"What?" Sirius asked.
"She's in the hospital wing."
"And you're here? With us?"
"What?" James asked slightly confused.
"Let's go..."
"Where?" James asked.
And that was the start of a great friendship. Lily had managed to get along with Sirius and Peter and James learned to balance his alone time with the guys and his alone time with Lily. She didn't rely upon him as much as she had before, but she did make sure they spent time together and alone. She was always good at balance. It got easier as time went on, and they'd go a few days without seeing each other.
xx
"I say we do it." James heard Sirius saying to Remus. "I mean, it sounds great. They're very serious about each other. It's not going to end any time soon."
"Sirius, but if it doesn't work out--"
"Hey, Remus, it will. Alright?" Sirius said. "Stop being such a negative Nancy."
"Fine Mr. Positive Polly." Remus said. James walked into the room and stared at the two.
"Wanna make Lily an Honorary Marauder?" Sirius asked.
"What?" James asked.
"Do you. Want to. Make LIly. An honorary member. Of the Marauders?" Sirius asked.
"Yes." James said.
"Go get her. Bring her to the room of requirements. Remus, get the snacks, I'll get the drinks, Peter... you get the map, hat, needles, ink, and the cloak."
"Yessir!" They all said. James was estatic. An honarary member, they'd never done that before. He ran from the Gryffindor tower and to the library as quickly as he could, tripping over a few stairs. He got to the library and ran to the back of it where Lily always sat with her friends. He smiled and them and then walked behind Lily.
"I need to talk to you." He whispered in her ear.
"What?" She asked.
"Don't worry, it's better than anything." He said. "It might take a little while, but it's very important." He said.
"Really?" She asked, obviously unimpressed
"MMhmm..." he said, kissing her cheek. "C'mon." he took her hand and she shook her head.
"Seriously." James said. "This is one of the biggest days of your life."
"I doubt it." Lily muttered, ignoring him.
"I'm serious." James said. "You guys don't mind, do you?"
Her friends shook their heads and Lily groaned. "Why don't you want to come?" He asked.
"Because, It's probably some sort of scam you've conjured up."
"Lily, would I scam you?"
"No." She said quietly, smiling a little.
"That's what I thought. Now let's go." He pulled her up and she reluctantly followed. he put his arm around her shoulder's like he owned the world and she put both her arms around his waist, walking with him to the room of requirements.
"Where we going?" She asked. He smirked at her as he led her up a flight of stars and took her hand.
"This way." He said, leading her to the seventh floor. She sighed and he walked back and forth with her three times and the door opened. He walked through it with her and he smiled at Sirius, remus, and Peter.
"What is this?" She asked. James grabbed the Marauder's hat and smirked, turning to her. He put it on her head and smiled.
"You are now an honorary member of the Marauders."
She gave him a look, smiling. The red and gold hat shimmered in the lighting of the room and he brought her into a hug.
"Thank you." She said.
"Who wants to party?" Sirius asked, opening up a bag of Jelly slugs. Lily walked over and grabbed a handful. She took a bite of one and smiled. James brought her to the couch and Sirius sat on the other side of her. James pulled out the map and pointed his wand at it.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He said. Lily gave him a look and he handed it to her. She watched as Hogwarts showed up at her and she looked highly impressed. Remus sat on the other side of James and Peter on the other side of Sirius. James put his arm around Lily as she watched people move around on the map.
"Where are we?" She asked, looking around for them.
"Hidden." James said. "In the room of requirements, where no one can find us."
"Really?" Lily asked.
"Yep." James smirked, taking a bite of a jelly slug.
"You guy's are great." Lily said, leaning her head against James' shoulder.
"I know." He said, giving her a kiss. "We still have one more surprise. Roll your sleeve up."
"What?" She asked.
"Roll up your sleeve," He said, doing it for her to show her shoulder.
"What are you doing?"
"Whatever you do, don't move." James said. Sirius grabbed the needles and ink.
"What're you doing?" She asked, moving a little.
"Shh..." James said. "It'll be fine. We all have them."
"This is where I draw the line." she said.
"Come on, Lils, we'll put a concealment charm on it."
"No." Lily said.
"Please?" He said.
"Fine." She said.
"It won't hurt a bit." He said. He tapped the needle and he ink with his wand and it quickly put a tatoo on her skin. Honorary Member. And then it had the Maurauders crest. A wolf, a rat, a dog, and a stag with the word "Marauder" under it.
"Do you want a concealment charm?" He asked.
She nodded. James tapped it and it faded away.
"You're a marauder forever." He smiled, kissing her. She smiled.
"Do you have one?" She asked. He nodded and lifted up the sleeve of his left arm to show her the Marauder's crest. She touched it and smiled.
"I have one too." Sirius said, lifting up the sleeve to his left arm and showing it to her. She smirked.
"That's... cool." She said. She grabbed another Jelly slug and took a bite of it.
"Hey, Lily..." James said, turning towards her.
"Yeah?" She asked, looking him in the eyes. He knelt down on one knee and pulled a box out of his pocket.
"Will you marry me?"
A/N: Is it too mushy? My sister said it was, but she's a very angsty person. Anyways... reviews are always welcome with warm hugs and cookies! Or not, but y'know... I still love 'em! And I'm talking about reviews... although I do love cookies... hmm...