A/N: Yay! A new story! Just warning you Mib fans, this will have NOTHING to do with my previous story, 'The Crazy insanity of Mib and Friends'. NOTHING I TELL YOU, NOTHING! (pant, pant, pant) Anywho, I'm gonna need Audience Participation in this story. I repeat, AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION! (yeah, I had sugar today… and I'm sleep deprived) Moving on! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't own Zim. Actually, I don't own anything in this story at all. Except me. (Does one own oneself?) ONWARD!
(Setting – big sports field, with two dugouts on either side, one air-conditioned announcer's box above everything else. I'm in the announcer's box. Zim, Dib, GIR, Tak, Gaz, Red, and Purple are standing in the field, looking confused. Fangirls are in the crowd)
Me: Welcome one and all to the incredible, the amazing, DOOMY SPORTS!
Crowd: [cheers]
Me: Yes, yes, it's amazing. INCREDIBLY amazing. So amazing in fact, that I have invited –
Dib: Invited?
Me: Fine, forced the Invader Zim characters to participate! There will be MAJOR challenges in this game… oh how MAJOR they will be! Every other chapter will be devoted to a sport; the losing team will do a physical and/or mental challenge in the in-between chapters. Sounds like lots 'o fun right? [forced smile]
Zim: These… spots as you call them…
Me: Sports.
Zim: ZIM KNOWS ALL! What are these sports that you speak of?
Dib: He doesn't even know about sports? C'mon people, he's an alien!
Me: [sigh] We know Dib. We're fangirls. We know ALL.
Random Dib fangirl: We love you Dib!
Me: [facepalm] Stupid fangirl… ANYWHO sports are competitive games, usually played with teams. Now, why am I doing a fic about sports even though I hate them? BECAUSE I LIKE TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE SUFFER IN THE MEANINGLESS WORLD OF EXERCISE! MWAHAHAHAHA! Now, the two teams here are Team Dib and Team Zim. I will now break up the teams. Zim!
Zim: [saluting] Sir!
Me: [pointing to dugout on left] You go there! Dib!
Dib: What?
Me: Be polite. Don't make me sic my pet lion on you.
Dib: You have a pet lion?
Me: Well, technically, no. But, while playing Mash with my BFFL, I was given a pet lion named Cannibal. So, even though he doesn't literally exist, he does figuratively exist. Does that make sense?
Red: No.
Me: SILENCE! Now, Dib, if you would…
Dib: Fine. [moves to dugout on right]
Me: Now, how shall I do this… Gaz!
Gaz: Mmph!
Me: You go to Dib's team. Tak, you go to Zim's team.
Tak: WHAT? Me, ingenious, clever, resourceful Irken soldier, go to – to – to his team? Never!
Me: Do it, or Cannibal will be told to eat your brain will clam sauce!
Tak: Clam sauce? Why clam sauce?
Me: No idea. Just go to the dugout or face the clammy doom!
Tak: Well, I'll do it; but just because I have nothing better to do!
Me: I knew you'd see it my way in the end. GIR!
GIR: MONGOOSE! MONGOOSEMONGOOSEMONGOOSE!
[awkward silence]
Me: Riiiiight. You go to Zim's team.
GIR: Okie-dokie!
Me: Red!
Red: [thinking] Please not Zim's team, please not Zim's team… please, please, please!
Me: You will go to Dib's team.
Red: YES!
Me: That means that Purple will go to Zim's team.
Purple: NOOOOOO!
Red: [laughing]
Me: So, the teams stand as thus:
Team Zim:
Zim
Tak
GIR
Purple
Team Dib:
Dib
Gaz
Red
Dib: Hey, wait a minute, Zim has one more person on his team! That's not fair!
Me: [checking clipboard] Huh. You're right. Okay then, time to bring in the minor characters! But this time, I'll let the audience decide. Who would you like on Dib's team? Lard Nar or Skoodge? You decide! So sports fans (and those who hate sports) until next time, Invader Gilly signing off!
A/N: So, whatcha think? Not bad for the first chapter? Yeah, it was short, but the next chapter will be better. Anywho, review and tell who you want on Dib's team! Whoever receives the most votes wins! Now review! Review! Review!
~Gilly