So this is my longest one-shot to date, and it took me forever to write.
Thank you to Gillian Deverone for betaing
Enjoy
Rachel clings onto her bag as she tries to navigate herself through the large crowd. Sometimes it's a nuisance being so little. Once she's safely on a less busy street, she gives a sigh of relief and lets herself relax, heading in the usual direction of her apartment. Rehearsal had been two hours longer than usual today and she is ready for a nice long bath with her new rose bubble bath and some scented candles.
Even though it's almost nine, the sky is bright and the air is warm – another reason why she loves the summer months.
Her dress almost floats around her, the soft flower pattern dancing in the cool breeze. She sends a text to her roommate announcing that she'll be back in a couple of minutes and returns the phone to her pocket, scanning the surroundings idly. It's a pretty street, with only a little bit of traffic thankfully, and a lot of families reside here, so there's often the random child or two playing on the sidewalk. Today, however, it's pretty much empty, apart from a man walking the opposite way from her.
When she takes a second glance, she is unable to keep her eyes from the tall stranger, absorbing his ridiculously good looking and boyish face, yet he is definitely not a boy. Even though he's wearing a jacket, she can tell that he's in good shape, just by the way that his shirt beneath it clings to his chest. Not wanting to seem like she's staring at him, she averts her gaze quickly as he brushes past her and makes to steal another glance before she carries on walking.
The man, while crossing the road, turns to watch her, his eyes moving from her tanned face all the way down to her tiny ballet flats. He smiles to himself, going to return his phone to his pocket when he drops it.
Behind her, she hears a loud beep and spins around, her eyes startled as to what the noise could be. Her heart drops as she sees a large truck heading in the way of the guy but he seems completely oblivious, bending down to pick something up off of the road. "Hey!" she shouts loudly, trying to get his attention – he doesn't even flinch. Panicked, she begins to hurry over to him, losing a shoe in her frantic race. "Hey, you! Look out!"
Nothing.
Run faster, Rachel! Oh, why does she have to be cursed with such small legs?
The truck is screeching, trying to stop, but she can see that it isn't going to halt in time.
The man, now with his phone safe in his pocket once more, stands up and turns to find himself moments away from sure death. Of all the things to do, he freezes in fear. Closing his eyes, he knows that this is it.
Something hits into him, from the wrong side though, and he's knocked to the floor, his head hitting the hard sidewalk. His eyes slowly flutter open and, through his blurry vision, he sees the girl from only moments ago, her eyes startlingly wide as she's lay on top of him, panting very hard.
Did she just save his life?
"Hey, are you okay?" she asks gently. The man stares at her lips as she speaks before nodding and sitting up, a stinging pain shooting through his forehead. She gasps, "Oh, you're bleeding!" Rachel grabs her handbag, which had fallen beside them, and finds a packet of tissues which she always keeps handy.
He flinches when she comes near him, as if he doesn't know what she's going to do, but relaxes when she begins to wipe the blood away. "Why didn't you move?" she asks. "The truck kept beeping its horn."
The man frowns, his forehead creasing, which doesn't help as she's trying to clean up his cut. She patiently waits for an answer, huffing when he shakes his head. "You don't know? You were about to die. I lost my shoe because I was running to help you!" His soft brown eyes are lost as she stares at her and he struggles to communicate. He points to his ears before shaking his head. "What?" she frowns. He repeats the gesture, this time making each movement slower and her mouth drops open in realization. "You're deaf?" His eyes are glued to her lips again and he nods when he understands what she's said.
Rachel's heart sinks for him – the very thought of living in a world with no sound, no music, is just too much. She takes hold of his rough hand, holding it in here, and offers a sympathetic smile towards the man.
He doesn't give her much of a response; maybe he's used to the sympathy, and just begins to stand up, pulling her with him. When she puts weight on her foot, she hisses out in pain, automatically reaching for him.
He peers down, his whole body literally towering over hers and they both look at her bloody knees, most likely from the fall. Now it's his turn to be shocked, guilty staring and he tries to speak to her without any actual words. He points in the direction behind them and she recognizes that as where the hospital is. She nods frantically and is shocked when he practically grabs her arm and wraps it around his shoulder, lifting her up into his embrace.
When she first saw him, she never expected this to happen in the expanse of ten minutes. Rachel tries to hide her blush, though is sure that she's pretty unsuccessful and she stares at the blood that has fallen onto his shirt, not that he seems to care.
The man peers at her feet, where only one of her shoes are perched and sends her a questioning look. She laughs in embarrassment and shakes her head to show him that it doesn't matter. They're only shoes.
She winces as they clean her knees, taking out all of the grime from the street gently. In her peripheral, she notices him walk into the room with what looks like minor stitches in his head. They share a smile before the doctor cleans her cuts with antiseptic and she scrunches her eyes closed. A hand falls upon hers and she slowly peeps one eye open to see him now stood next to her, even taller in comparison as she's sitting down and he's at his full height.
"Is this your partner?" the doctor asks.
Rachel shakes her head furiously. "He almost got hit by a truck so I pushed him out of the way, hence why I can't walk and I'm slowly bleeding to death."
The man eyes their joined hands before chuckling, finally wrapping her knees in bandages. You're fine. All you've got is a small sprain in your right foot. A week or two on crutches and you'll be good as new."
"Crutches?" she scrunches up her face.
"Yes," he replies curtly, "and I'd suggest a couple of days off of work to rest your foot a little. But, other than that, you're in good health."
"And him?" Rachel turns to the man who is clutching onto her hand, unable to resist returning his smile.
"He's just got a concussion and needed minor stitches." He gives her a grateful look. "He's lucky that you were there to save him, otherwise he probably wouldn't have made it."
It hadn't hit her before, but now it comes at full force.
She saved someone's life.
Like, really saved one. It's like she's the heroine of a film or book, not some small girl with dreams of Broadway.
Rachel peers up at him through her thick lashes, at the man that is looking at her like she's some God- sent gift. She's never seen so much admiration is one expression and she is her fathers' pride and joy, so that's really something. Her eyes lose themselves in his own hazel gaze, the warmness drawing her in instantly.
All she can think about is how soft and gentle his finger feel against hers and how her heart quickens with adrenaline as she stares at him.
She opens her mouth to say something before realizing that he won't hear her. The very thought sends her heart sinking down to her stomach.
"You're all set, Miss Berry," her doctor says as he returns with some crutches. She notices how his face falls, as if it's the first time that he's aware she'll be on crutches for a while and he's now blaming himself. But that's not true. Her hand squeezes his back and then she plasters a smile onto her face while the doctor explains the correct manner to use her crutches.
It's funny, she thinks, how the simple touch of their hands feels so exciting.
But when he draws his away, she frowns.
He tilts his head at her sudden change in mood and then picks up the crutches and offers them to her carefully. She nods in understanding, tentatively taking the tools. Her unwillingness must show because his smile grows bright with optimism, as if encouraging her to at least try.
With the crutches in place, she begins a few wobbly steps around the room. It's easy enough but is rather irritating on her arms.
He looks at her, smiling proudly.
But, you know, they've known each other all of an hour.
Still, it doesn't feel that way. She feels like she's known him for longer-much longer.
She waits outside of the hospital, sitting down on the free bench and waiting for her roommate, Santana, to come and pick her up. Although Santana isn't happy about it, she managed to convince her with a few threats of refusing to leave whenever Santana has any dates over.
Turning to the side, she notices the tall man standing beside the bench, a scrunched up piece of paper in his hand and a nervous look dominating his features. He bites his lower lip before taking a deep breath and sitting beside her.
Rachel goes to greet him, a small wave instead of the usual "hello."
He offers a shy smile, shifting closer to her eagerly. Though he's a lot bigger than her, she finds his height more adorable than intimidating.
With shaky hands, he thrusts the paper in front of her. She glances toward him, her eyes filled with curiosity, and takes the paper from the man.
She straightens it out, glancing at his messy scrawl written over it.
Thank you for saving my life and stuff, it says, and I feel kind of guilty that you got hurt when I only have a few stitches. I'm sorry about that. Can I make it up to you?
She can feel him watching her as she reads, his eyes trained to her face and she blushes lightly under the attention. After reading the words once more, she smiles toward him. She almost beings to speak immediately, until she has to remind herself, again, that he can't hear. So she begins to fumble in her pockets for a pen.
He must realize what she wants for he produces one quickly.
Mouthing the words "thank you", she takes it gratefully and leans the paper on her knee to write. It's nothing, really. I couldn't let you die, could I? Don't worry about my leg. The doctor says that I'll be fine in a couple of weeks. Rachel pauses as her eyes glance over the final part of his note once more, wondering how to reply to that.
Rachel isn't quite sure what he's suggesting. Like, does he just want to thank her with money, or does he intend to take her somewhere? And then that causes an entirely new list of problems.
Sure, she'd love to do something with him since he's appears so friendly and he isn't exactly bad on the eyes either, but how in the world would they communicate? They can't just pass notes all the time.
Still, she pushes past her better judgements and finished her reply with a tiny hint of a smirk, and how do you intend to make it up to me?
She holds out the paper to him, feeling a shiver run down her spine as their fingers brush past each other. His, large and rough; hers, soft and tiny, though she thinks that it kind of works, in a way. Look at her, falling within a few hours of meeting a guy. That's got to be a record.
But, as much as her mind is telling her to take it slow and just breathe, she can't.
There's something about this big, nervous guy that she finds new, interesting and it's not even anything to do with his… disability. Even if he could hear she'd be interested, more than interested.
He fumbles with the pen as he tries to quickly respond. She catches herself trying to look over his shoulder, which is a lot higher than her, and peer at the answer. He soon realizes, turning with his cheeks tinted pink and he just shifts the paper ever so slightly so that it's in her range of sight.
Maybe take you out for a coffee or a meal, it says. His words are a bit shaky, as if he stumbled over the right ones to use. There's even some crossing out too. She imagines him saying the words, despite not knowing what his voice sounds like. It'd be strong, she thinks, and manly, yet there'd be softness to it too.
She takes the pen from him fingers, practically leaning over him to write on the paper, still on his knee, Like a date?
Yes, he quickly puts, a date.
She's aware that there isn't much room left on the paper, so she squeezes in a reply. I'd like that. Can I have your number?
And then she peers up at him through her dark lashes. The sun is shining on his face, almost in an angelic way and she's smiles at how innocent he looks just smiling at her like with a face full of happiness.
He continues to stare, completely lost in her eyes.
Rachel clears her throat, remembering that he won't realize, so she then takes her own phone from her pocket and gestures towards it. He instantly understands, growing sheepish as he finds his own, the screen apparently cracked lightly from his fall.
They swap phones to put the numbers in and she easily navigates herself to his contacts, looking curiously through the names. Burt, Kurt, Mike, Mom, Quinn… There are more, but her eyes stick to Quinn's name, wondering who she is. She shakes her head, trying to force the jealousy out of her system, since there's really no reason for it, is there? No, of course not.
She quickly places her number in, only to be disturbed by the loud sound of Santana beeping the car horn with great defiance.
He points to the car questioningly and she nods, handing him his phone back while he does the same with hers. With it safe in her pocket, she struggles with the crutches and begins to hobble her way over to the car where Santana pushes the door open for her with her foot.
"Thanks," she mumbles when she's barely able to catch it and keep it open.
"What the hell have you done now?" Santana eyes her leg with a raised eyebrow. "Don't think that I'm going to look after my poor, crippled friend for the next few weeks."
She rolls her eyes, finally sitting herself down on the seat, "I wouldn't dream of it, 'Tana. And this is only temporary, so it'll be no more than a couple of weeks."
Once the door is closed after her, she takes a glance over to where Finn is. He's still sitting on the bench, eyes cast down at the floor while he holds his phone is his hands. Santana follows her gaze and asks: "Who's he?"
"I – " She stops herself when she realizes that she doesn't even know his name.
Her phone buzzes in her pocket and, with record speed, she reaches in to get it. She sees a new text and it's obvious who it is. Her heart fluttering wildly, she opens it.
Hey, it's…well, me. So thanks again. That was really cool of you to do and I know that it's really forward but I'd love to take you on a date. Rachel's a really pretty name, btw. Finn.
She finds herself smiling giddily at the text, until Santana snatches the phone from her. "Who's Finn? Wait, that's that guy that you were just with, right. Hallelujah! Here I was, I was wondering when you were going to be bringing home your first cat of many, but finally, you've snagged a man. Not only that, but he's not completely hideous either."
"Hey," she replies, her eyes moving to Finn again. "He's very attractive."
Throwing her phone back into Rachel's hands, she begins to drive off, leaving Rachel's gaze lingering after the man as he becomes smaller and smaller. She texts a quick reply, telling him of her dietary needs and such, but other than that they're free to go anywhere.
Her smile is irreplaceable, now that she thinks of Finn. The name suits him, she thinks, as it's just simple and sweet – a little like him. She's not saying that he's dumb simple. Just, he doesn't seem like too much of a complicated guy, other than the obvious really.
"What's the catch then?"
Her head shoots up in confusion, "Huh?"
Santana sighs, slowing at the red lightly. She then turns to Rachel, all seriousness in her face. "Look, all the guys that you've dated in the past have had something wrong with them. Like, how about that guy that collected stamps?"
"I'll have you know that Phil was a very interesting and normal individual," she huffs.
"Berry, do I need to repeat myself? He cried when I accidentally spilled my drink over his Penny Black."
She shakes her head. "That's an extremely rare stamp, I'll have you know." Rachel sighs. "And anyway, there's nothing wrong with caring about something, is there?"
"It is when it makes a full grown man cry over a tiny slip of paper having coffee on it," she shrugs carelessly. "What about Darren?"
Rachel tenses. "What about him?"
"Disco Darren?" she begins. "He gave himself that name."
"So he liked to dress up as John Travolta sometimes…"
"Every weekend," Santana corrects, "I mean, is there something about you that just attracts strange little men?"
She crosses her arms across her chest, "I don't appreciate that Santana. That's two men from my life. And, though I'm not as promiscuous as you, I've had my fair share of completely normal and dateable men."
"Yeah?" her friend chuckles, "name one."
"Scott," she instantly fires her way.
"Gay."
Rachel gasps. "He is not gay! He just… he cared about his appearance and liked to talk about shoes and stuff a lot. That doesn't mean that he's gay."
"Puh-lease," she says, "he practically drooled over other men but you, hopeless as ever, didn't realize. Trust me Berry, I have a fantastic gaydar." Santana smiles smugly to herself, turning into the parking lot beside their building. "Alright Hobbles, get out."
"Aren't you going to help me?" she groans.
She pretends to consider her answer. "Nope."
"Santana!" Rachel whines.
"Fine, fine," she says, a hint of a smile as she makes her way to Rachel's side of the car and opens the door for her. From inside the car, Rachel hands out her crutches before using Santana as something to steady herself. She's quickly on her feet again, following about a foot behind Santana. "Hurry up, Berry."
She mumbles a few offensive words but thankfully Santana is occupied with getting into the building. It's nothing special really, but it's on a nice enough street and it's much more appealing that what her fathers believed she'd originally be staying in.
They start towards the elevator when they see the sign. Out of service.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Rachel groans outwardly. "There's no way that I can make it up six flights of stairs on these crutches!"
"Well," she shrugs casually, "looks like you're going to have to try." And with that she begins the trek up to their apartment, so impossibly far away on the sixth floor.
Rachel tentatively places each crutch on the step before pulling herself up to, the strain on her arms a little too much from the first step. By the time she's finished the first flight, she's tired and refusing to go any further.
"You're such a baby!" Santana complains, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, it's kind of embarrassing."
"Why don't you try using crutches? "she begins, pointing her finger accusingly at Santana, "because it's no walk in the park and I'm new to this and it's not my fault that the elevator's broken but I – ooh!"
The crutches fall to the floor with a loud clatter as Santana picks Rachel up bridal style and begins to ascend the stairs. "What are you doing?" she demands to know, struggling in her arms.
"Getting you up the damn stairs!" she says, though her voice is strained. "Have you put on weight?"
"I do not appreciate that remark," Rachel says curtly.
"Just because it's true," Santana mumbles, holding onto Rachel tighter as not to drop her. "God, you owe me so fucking much for lugging your big ass all this way."
Rachel frowns deeply at her friend, "I could have managed by myself…"
She shakes her head. "But then you'd be moaning the whole way most likely and I'd get sick of hearing your whiny voice."
"How did I ever get so lucky to have a friend like you?" she asks sarcastically.
"I pitied you," Santana shoots back.
"You love me," Rachel says surely with a cocky grin. All she gets in reply is a loud sigh.
By the time they reach the sixth floor, after Santana had to go down again to retrieve her crutches, her friend is exhausted and practically falls into the apartment. Rachel laughs. "Stop being dramatic."
Santana glares. "You're the one to talk, Miss Rachel Berry." She moves over to the couch and drops onto it with a great sigh of relief. "Hey, you never told me how you hurt your foot."
Rachel joins her on the couch, resting her leg upon Santana (whether she likes it or not). "I fell."
"How? Did you just trip up on thin air or something?"
She frowns. "Of course not!" Santana is waiting impatiently for an answer. "This guy almost got hit by a truck so I…I pushed him out of the way."
Santana's face remains unimpressed, "Sure you did. Come on, what's the real reason?"
"I did!"
"Berry, you are not Lara Croft. You're more like… actually you're the complete opposite of that. So please come up with a more believable story," she says.
Rachel's face falls. Is it really beyond the reach of imagination that she saved someone? That she took action in the spur of the moment? Well, at least she knows that she did it and she's proud of the fact that she did something heroic.
She decides to just remain silent with a slightly agitated look on her face as Santana starts toward the kitchen. "Fine, don't tell me. I'm not your best friend or anything." Rachel sighs as Santana continues. "I won't laugh if it's embarrassing… well, I won't laugh a lot."
Her attention is stolen by her phone, buzzing in her pocket again. With unhidden excitement, she grabs it and checks the message. Cool, Finn says, if you just text me your address, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8? I know the perfect place
"Who're you talking to?" Santana questions, leaning in the kitchen doorway.
"Finn," she replies dreamily, unable to hide her smile.
Santana's eyebrow rises in interest. "Your man?"
"We haven't even been on a date yet," she says, though she knows that it doesn't really matter. She feels something there already and it's beyond thrilling, leaving her with unmatched excitement for tomorrow. She places a hand over her heart, willing herself to be calm and not lose her cool, though she suspects that it's too late for that.
"Look at you," Santana grins, "getting all hot for a man. Maybe he'll get you out of your panties on the first date." She winks, beginning to saunter off.
"Santana!" Rachel glares. Sometimes she really dislikes her roommate.
They smile at each other across the table, expressions shy yet keen. He's wearing a suit, having apparently dressed up for their meal. Thankfully she's wearing an outfit to match – one of her more expensive dresses.
Originally, she didn't plan on wearing it, but she really wanted to impress him so she eventually gave in. The moment he saw her, his jaw fell open and his eyes bulged, so it's a success, she thinks.
They're supposed to be looking at the menus, though they only really have eyes for each other. He leans forward, a childlike excitement on his face and she finds herself drawn nearer too.
"I think that I'll have the duck."
Her head snaps around at the sound of Kurt, Finn's brother, who is accompanying them on the date to "translate". It is helpful, but it's also very annoying to have the moment intruded on. They'd manage, wouldn't they?
Finn, having realized that Rachel got distracted, turns to Kurt and begins to expertly use sign language. She watches, enthralled as he makes each distinct action, his large hands moving quickly, so much that she can barely keep up. Kurt keeps nodding before he turns to Rachel.
"Finn wants me to tell you that you look pretty tonight."
Having read his lips, Finn shakes his head, repeating a motion.
Kurt sighs. "Beautiful. He said beautiful."
She blushes, her eyes locking onto Finn's. "Thank you."
He understands what she's saying and grins brightly, nodding his head as if to reiterate the point. Rachel can't hide the blush that creeps onto her cheeks and down her neck. She turns to Kurt, "Could you tell him that he looks very handsome?"
The man does as she asks and she tries to ignore the flutter in her heart at the way that Finn bashfully glances across at her, looking much younger than his years before he mouths "thanks" back to her.
They fall into a silence, neither really knowing what to do next. Maybe it should have occurred to Rachel that this would happen – that they'd be unable to keep a natural flow of conversation going, even with Kurt there to help. Still, he doesn't exactly seem pleased to be there, nor does Finn look happy that their private date isn't so private.
She idly messes with the napkin on her lap before clearing her throat. "So, what do you do?" She instantly turns to Kurt, expecting him to ask Finn, but he instead begins to explain himself.
"He illustrates."
"What does he illustrate?" she asks curiously, peeking Finn's way to see him looking upon them with furrows brows and a concentrated face as he tries to decipher what they're saying.
Kurt shrugs casually. "Lots of things. Cartoons, children's books, movie posters. He's actually quite good."
She nods in interest, smiling toward Finn now. "Maybe I could see them some time?" But Finn just frowns, clearly not following the conversation, so Kurt has to intervene. She wishes that it could be easier, that there was no third person with them, but of course that isn't going to happen any time.
Finn glances her way and it looks like he's thinking exactly the same thing.
Her thoughts are confirmed that night. As she finishes getting ready for bed, brushing her hair gently, her phone buzzes to inform her that she has a message.
Rachel slowly reaches out towards the bedside table where it sits and grabs it with eager hands. Leaning against the headboard, she beams at his simple message of hi
Hey, she puts, debating whether to add the next bit on. Eventually, she does. Tonight was fun.
She goes back to brushing her hair as she waits for a reply. The date was fun, she decides as she thinks about it, although with Kurt there it was hard to really enjoy each other's company. However, without Kurt there, they wouldn't have been able to talk. She sighs – is this what all their dates are going to be like?
She notices that Finn has sent a text back. You can tell me if you didn't like it. It was kind of awkward with my brother there…
No, it was fine. Really. He actually told me a lot about you anyway.
It doesn't take long for his next response. He told you that I draw.
Her brows furrow. How do you know that? Did he tell you?
I can lip read, you know. She smiles softly, sinking down further into her pillow to get more comfortable. I can't keep up with full blown conversations, mind you. But well enough.
Can you read my lips?
It takes him a few moments to give an answer and she wonders whether she'd said something wrong. She frowns slightly, debating whether she's being too forward – they had only met the day prior. But, then again, she feels this connection with Finn and maybe he feels it too.
She doesn't know what they're going to do about their dates though, seeing as communication is a big problems. Sure, texting each other is simple, but face to face contact offers some problems. Because Kurt can't always be there. He has his own life and family no doubt.
Finn finally answers.
I can. You have pretty lips. I should know, I've spent enough of my life staring at lips. That sounds weird, doesn't it?
She giggles. Not at all. And thank you. No one's ever said that you me before. Rachel is glad that she's alone so that no one can see the blush that creeps onto her cheeks.
Well I guess that we'll have to change that. There is going to be another date, right? You don't mind my brother being there?
Rachel thinks deeply about the prospect. It would be easier to stop the dates, seeing as they have to speak through Kurt and won't be given any privacy whatsoever. Of course, she doesn't know a thing about dating anyone who's deaf. She'd never even met anyone who's deaf before Finn, and she has no idea how his life differs from hers, or the struggles that he endures.
To reiterate, it would be the simplest idea to call it quits with them on good terms and to avoid the complications of a relationship.
But Rachel really can't do that. She really likes him, and this is one day later. How will she feel in one week? In a month?
What if Finn is the one and she loses her chance because she's too scared to leave her comfort zone?
With her mind set on one option, she picks up her phone again. I would love another date with you, Finn. You care to put up with me for another night?
I'd put up with you forever.
She blushes again. Why is he so sweet? Flattery will get you nowhere. She's only teasing, just to see his reaction. She actually likes flattery, lots and lots of it. But maybe it's too early to tell Finn that.
Just the honest truth. She can imagine him, wearing that lopsided smile with bright, happy eyes and her heart swell uncontrollably.
It is, is it? You're only known me for a day. I could turn out to be a serial killer or something.
Haha, a serial killer who saves people's lives? It might just be me, but that doesn't make any sense.
Rachel grins. How do you know that it isn't all just a ploy?
Are we really having this conversation?
It's important. We don't really know each other yet, so it's a possibility.
Once again, there's a long pause between his answer.
You're kind of weird. It's cute. She smiles at the screen like an idiot, but you bring up a good point. We don't know much about the other. Care to tell me about yourself?
She sighs – where to begin? There's nothing wrong with her life, per se, but she just thinks that maybe her life isn't exciting as she sometimes makes it seem to be. It's more of a defence mechanism when she's threatened about someone, to make her life seem more important and make them jealous.
Of course, Finn isn't one of those people.
So she supposes that she should be completely honest with him because she does not want anything coming back to bite her in the ass.
I'm an only child, she puts, and I grew up in New York with my two dads. They both had busy careers, so I didn't see them much as a kid, but I didn't realize since I was being shipped off to every possible class they could think of and then boarding school in the school semesters. They pay for me to share an apartment with my best friend, Santana, while I'm still trying to start my own career. I'm an actress, you see.
It runs over more than one text, but she eventually presses send, surprised at how comfortable she feels sharing this with him. Normally she doesn't like to open up with people, especially about her fathers. She loves the men, but they could have spent more time with her as a child instead of filling her days with endless dance and vocal classes until she was too worn out to do anything.
Sounds like you were a busy kid, he replies, it kind of sucks that your dads weren't there for you that much. Are you adopted then? Since you have two dads…
Oh, no. Before my dad admitted that he was gay, he slept with my mom in a moment of denial and then, nine months later, I came along. My dad eventually got with Papa and he and my mom shared custody of me.
So your mom was happy with you being sent to a boarding school? 'Cause mine would throw a fit, haha.
Her heart sinks to her stomach and she hesitantly types in the next few words. She died when I was four.
It doesn't take long for him to apologize. Oh crap, Rach. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Me and my big mouth.
You didn't know, she puts, don't beat yourself up over it. I don't even remember her that much anyway. And I still have my dads, right? She doesn't realize that there are tears in her eyes until she's wiping them away. She'd gotten over her mom's death years ago, really having been too young to understand the true emotion involved, but she hardly ever talks about it and it's strange to do so now.
Finn's response surprises her. When I see you, he says, I'm going to give you a great big hug.
She giggles. What? Why?
I think that you deserve it.
Rachel smiles happily to herself. You're a very sweet man, Finn. She waits a few minutes before putting. Now tell me about you.
What about me?
I want to know the man that I'm dating, she tells him like it's obvious because it kind of is. And she's actually quite interested in his life.
She has to wait a while for the reply, as if he doesn't know what to say to her. He's probably not comfortable sharing so much personal information.
He sends her a long passage, and she realizes why he took a while typing it up. I'm Finn Hudson. I've just turned 28. I grew up in upstate New York with my mom, step brother and step dad. I'm very uncoordinated and probably the clumsiest person you've ever met. I love to draw. I hate reading long books 'cause I get bored easily. I could eat my own weight in mink chocolate ice cream if I tried. I've had one close encounter with death, but thankfully this girl appeared out of the blue and saved me. And don't tell anyone but I'd really like to spend more time with her. Enough?
Rachel blushes as she reads the last part, thinking how charming he is. Yes, she puts, for now.
For now?
I'd like to learn lots about you, Finn. If you're going to be my boyfriend.
She grins at his reply. You have no idea how happy that made me.
Calling you my boyfriend? Well, it's still early days but that's what you are.
Yes, Finn responds, it's just, I've never really had many girlfriends. My condition turns people away.
Her heart sinks a little at the revelation. She understands that maybe it could be a bit daunting or worrying, but Finn is just like everyone else. Curiosity rises within her, as to how long Finn had been like this. Was he born deaf? Or did it happen another way? Rachel wants to ask him, though she wonders whether it's a sensitive topic for Finn.
She couldn't imagine being deaf-a silent world seems beyond surreal for her.
How did it happen? Rachel asks before she realizes and the message is sent quickly. She curses under her breath, adding, Sorry, that's a private thing, isn't it?
Yeah, but you should know. I was seven, on a camping trip with the family. I'd gone into this cave near the campsite. I wasn't allowed to go, but I went anyone because I was going through this stage of rebellion. Long story short, there were some loose rocks and they fells right on top of me knocking me out. When I woke up, I couldn't hear anything. I cried for my mom for what felt like hours. Before I went into a full-fledged panic attack, another person at the campsite found me and took me to the hospital. The head trauma caused damage to my middle ear structure. I've been deaf ever since. Rachel reads the words a few times, taking them in slowly. She imagines a seven year old Finn screaming for his mother, eyes wide with fear.
She'd be the same if she woke up to no sounds.
I'm sorry. It must have been hard.
Life goes on.
His attitude towards it is surprising. She's sure that, at first, he must have been terrified, though now he's at the stage where he's accepted it and he still manages to stay positive – to not dwell on the past and what could've been.
They spend the rest of the night texting, until she realizes that it's around two in the morning. Though she doesn't have to be up for work, having listened to the doctor's suggestion and taken a couple of days off, she wants to be up bright and early.
She sighs contently and types: We should really go to bed.
Oh, right. I didn't realize that that was the time.
Yeah, she grins, times flies by when you're having fun. You don't have to be in work early, do you? Because I'd hate to have kept you up.
The reply is quick, as all the other had been. Nah, I work from home. So I'm my own boss really.
Good. This has been nice, getting to know each other, but I'm kind of tired and I need my rest. Goodnight Finn. I'll text you soon xx
Yeah, I think so too. I'm kind of glad, that you saved me. I still have to make it up to you though. Sweet dreams. x
She smiles at the way he ends the text, though she wonders how he intends to "make it up" to her. After all, she did what any other person would do, right? She just acted out of impulse and, by chance, met Finn.
Thinking about it, she's happy that it was her too.
She goes to sleep with Finn on her mind.
True to his word, the next time they meet, he envelopes her in a giant hug, his large arms wrapped so tightly around her that she can barely breathe. She giggles, struggling to stand up on her crutches at the same time, but loving the way that he feels around her.
His body is warm and comforting, his arms protective, yet holding her like she's delicate.
She smiles, letting her head rest again his chest.
She could really get used to this.
Kurt clears his throat behind them. "Erm, Rachel," he says, "I'm just going to leave you guys alone for a few minutes. I'll… I'll be back."
With a bright smile, she nods. "We'll be here."
"Of course," she hears him mutter as he begins to walk away. Finn frowns after him, but she just nuzzles against him more.
Rachel hates this, sitting here and being completely superfluous . She's talented and hardworking and willing to do anything to succeed, but this means nothing when she's only an understudy.
Years and years of trying, and this is the best that she can do.
An understudy.
They'd only just found out their roles and in five months the production will have its opening night.
When will her talents be fully appreciated? Why is she second to someone else?
Of course she thinks that Sunshine is a talented singer, but her acting is only subpar and her accent diction is terrible. "She's been at the company longer," Will Schuester told her, trying to explain how he needs to keep things fair. "Your time will come."
When? When will if finally come?
She's a very patient person and she understands that not everything is about her, yet she's twenty six and she's no closer to winning her Tony than she was a couple of years ago and it's starting to dawn on her.
It's not like she's old or anything, because she most certainly is not, but in show business even the tender age of twenty six can be too late. She can feel the clock ticking away and she's determined to achieve something before the timer runs out.
She watches sadly as Sunshine performs "Don't Cry for me Argentina".
That solo belongs to her.
She just… she wishes that others could see that.
"Tana, as much as I appreciate you driving me to the hospital, I'd appreciate if you drove at an acceptable speed," she says, clutching onto the seat for dear life.
"Quit your whining," Santana says, "I'm going slow."
Rachel shakes her head. "I feel like my face is about to fall off and I'm going to throw up."
The cars jolts forward as they reach some red lights, leaving Rach breathing deeply. "Oh, Drama Queen," she accuses, "and to think that I was doing something nice by offering to drive you here."
"I asked you to…" Rachel corrects.
"But I agreed!" she insists, "out of the goodness of my heart."
"What heart?"
Santana glares. "Hey! That's not funny."
"But it's true." She giggles to herself at Santana's sour expression, "Fine, fine. I was only joking."
"Yeah, well next time you feel like joking, get your boyfriend to drive you to the hospital."
She frowns, "Finn doesn't drive."
Her eyebrow rises in interest. "And why's that? Did he fail his driver's test? Or is he one of those eco nuts?"
Rachel narrows her eyes, "One, he is very intelligent and could probably pass if he wanted to. Two, there is nothing wrong with caring about the environment. More importantly, he doesn't drive because it's a lot harder to obtain a licence when you're deaf and I suppose that he doesn't want to go through the hassle. Furthermore, it would be dangerous."
"Wait a hot second," she stops her, "your man is deaf? Why the hell did you never tell me this?"
She freezes, eyes wide, "I'm sure that it must have been mentioned in a conversation… at least once."
"Nuh uh. I knew that there was something wrong with him!" she looks straight ahead again, particularly pleased with herself. "You just don't date normal men."
Completely offended, she gasps. "And how does being deaf make him not normal?" She crosses her arms. "You're insulting Finn by saying that when there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. He's a human being, just like you and me and… I'm actually a little shocked that you'd say that."
"Berry, it was a joke. Lighten up."
She shakes her head, not believing Santana. Her words really had hurt Rachel, implying that Finn isn't the same as them because of his inability to hear.
No, he is. And he's a good person too, better than most of those that she knows. He's so optimistic and happy that it makes her proud to see him living his life to the fullest, as if he didn't have his disability.
And they've only been seeing each other for two weeks, but she admires him so much. And she cares about him too, the feelings growing too strong for her to handle. Like she feels the need to always defend him, to protect him, despite that fact that he can probably do that well enough on his own.
But she's not going to let Santana, of all people, claim that he isn't normal.
He is, and she knows it.
She quietly sips on her coffee, reading through the magazine that had been left behind on the table, though none of the stories really interest her. It's just plain old gossip, as usual. She left rehearsal early, after being told that she wouldn't be needed until the next day. Annoyed and tired, she'd left in a huff and ended up here, trying to calm herself down.
One day, she'd reminded herself, one day it'll be her upon that stage.
On a more positive note, she's finally off of those damn crutches and she can walk well, if only with the slightest limp.
"Rachel?"
Upon hearing the familiar voice, she peers up into the surprised and smiling face of Kurt. "Hi!" she beams, "what're you doing here?"
"Just getting a quick drink. We're just been to the park."
"We?" she raises an eyebrow.
Kurt turns to the side where a tiny girl is walking towards them, concentrating on carrying a plate with a chocolate muffin on. "She insisted on carrying it herself," he smiles adoringly. "Maddison, come on! You want time to eat the muffin, right?"
"Coming, Papa," she mumbles, eyes trained on the treat.
Rachel beams. "This is your daughter? She's adorable."
He smiles as the proud father he is as she finally reaches the table, lifting herself onto the chair and immediately picking pieces from her muffin. "She's just turned four."
"I'm a big girl!" she announces happily, crumbs already around her mouth. Kurt chuckles, using a napkin to clean them away, despite knowing that they'll be there again in a few minutes.
"I'm Rachel," she smiles, holding out her hand to Maddison, who takes it eagerly. The girl turns to Kurt for more information.
"Maddy," he begins, "do you know how we said that Uncle Finn is dating a nice lady? Well, this is her."
"Oh, that Rachel. Uncle Finny talks about you all the time."
"He does?" she asks a little too eagerly.
Kurt smiles at her across the table, sipping at his own drink, "Yes." She's slightly taken aback, since she thought that Kurt wasn't exactly fond of her, having to go on nights out with her and Finn, none of which he looked like he was enjoying himself in. "He's besotted with you."
Her smile is instant – the idea that Finn likes her just as much as she does him is heart-warming and reassuring.
"Daddy says that Uncle Finny's gonna marry you," Maddy says through a mouthful of her cake.
"He was only kidding," Kurt quickly claims."We were teasing Finn a little."
Maddy giggles. "His face went all red."
"She's such a blabber mouth," her father announces, turning to her. "Look, you're going to scare Rachel off at this rate. Do you want Uncle Finn to be unhappy?" She shakes her head, "Good, now let's play the 'be quiet and eat our food game', okay?"
She nods, doing as he says. "Sorry," he says sheepishly to Rachel. "She didn't mean any of that."
But the words have already been said and she now can't stop thinking that Finn is getting flustered at the thought of marriage with her, after just under four weeks of knowing the other. That's… that's crazy, isn't it? It's way too soon and they don't even know if this is going to work.
On the other hand, she too can imagine it. A simple, yet elegant ceremony with just close friends and family.
Now she's the one who's being a little scary, already knowing what their wedding would be like. She dated her last boyfriend for five months and it hardly came into the question. Why, with Finn, is the idea so prominent?
"It's okay," she tells Kurt, "she's just a kid."
He nods, smiling to himself. "Finn is happy though," he says. "With you."
Her heart pounds manically in her chest. "Really?"
"I haven't seen him happier in years."
Rachel's gaze softens at him. "He makes me happy too. It's like… every time I see him, my mood is suddenly uplifted and nothing can bring it down. I-I don't really remember feeling this strongly about anyone before."
"The feeling's mutual, trust me."
And she does because this is Finn's brother, who knows him better than most people she's willing to bet. If he says that Finn really likes her, then who's she to not believe that. Anyway, she'd like to believe it anyway.
Why else would he send her good morning texts, or send flowers to her apartment?
Just any guy wouldn't do that. It takes a special one to do so.
A type of guy that she'd like to keep around, and maybe experience some more with. The only problem? Their communication.
Alas, she is determined to overcome the obstacle.
"You started sign language classes?" Santana gapes at her as they prepare their dinner for the only night they have off together. "Are you serious?"
"What's wrong with that?"
She hesitates. "It's just… you're doing a lot for this guy who you've only just met."
"He's my boyfriend."
"I know," Santana replies, "but what if it doesn't work out and you've been wasting your time?"
"Thanks to know that you have belief in my relationship," Rachel huffs, cutting the tomato as if it had wronged her. "Especially when you haven't dated in months."
Her friend comes to stand beside her, removing the knife from her hand. "Hey, this is about you and stopping you from doing something that you don't need to do. Rachel, have you really thought this through? These classes cost money and time. "
She sighs, turning to face Santana, "I want to do this for Finn."
"You've known the guy for a month – "
"I know," she interrupts, "but the sooner I learn, the better it'll be."
"But you don't want to rush things, Berry. Doesn't rushing break up relationships?"
Her eyes narrow, anger rising slowly within her. "Why are you so insistent that this is going to end? I know that you don't trust men and heaven forbid that I find a man who makes me happy. Finn isn't like Puck. He's sweet and kind, and he's gentleman."
Santana straightens up at the mention of her ex, her eyes tiny slits that glower at Rachel.
"Can you at least try to understand?" Rachel pleads. "You're my best friend."
When Santana remains silent, she lets her face fall before storming to her bedroom, leaving a conflicted Santana in the kitchen.
She doesn't know why she's getting so worked up – there is some truth in what Santana is saying. But, of course, she isn't experiencing the feelings that Rachel is and she'll never truly understand that part of it.
Rachel has always been one to follow her feelings, whereas Santana uses her head.
It's always been this way and she suspects that it will stay the same. Santana is even more conscious of men after Puck, the guy who walked in and out of her life, leaving nothing but heartache. It led Santana to declaring that she would never go near another man again and hersleeping with one of her friends, Brittany.
Rachel's actually quite sure whether Santana likes women, men or both, but they've never really spoken about it since it's a no-go zone. She'd learned that after trying to bring it up in the beginning of her friend's confusion.
Santana seems okay now, yet there are moments when her dislike of men – all men – seems to overshadow her judgement.
She probably thinks that Finn is going to hurt Rachel. That's impossible, she knows, because he really doesn't have a nasty bone in his body.
Maybe if Santana had met him it would be different and she'd see that he's special. That whatever they have is special.
He holds onto her hand as they walk through Central Park, both basking in the glorious sunlight of the summer's day. She smiles as she leans into him, her head placed again his side.
Their steps are slow, the two of them getting lost in the moment. It's easy to do so, even when no words are passed between the pair.
Rachel lets out a content sigh, more to herself than anyone else. She notices the red marks on Finn's nose where sunburn is slowly developing and tugs him into the shade. The man frowns at her as she does, eyes questioning. She lets out a small giggle, reaching out delicate fingers to the irritated skin where they brush against it lightly.
He flinches, his own hands flying up to the damage once he realizes that he's sunburnt.
She smiles apologetically, wishing that she could help in any way.
With a low grumble that she barely picks up on, he sits at the trunk of the tree where she'd brought him for shelter and pulls the backpack from his shoulders. She'd been curious when she'd first seen it and now she peers inside the full bag.
Finn roots through, his method noisy and frantic, until he pulls out some sun screen.
It's a little late now, she thinks.
Still, he gestures to the bottle and then to his nose before holding it out to her. A little tentatively, she takes it from him, kneeling down beside him and hoping that she doesn't get grass stains on her dress.
With the tiniest bit coating her fingers, she moves them forwards and rubs it into the damaged skin. He closes his eyes, the soothing cream apparently working wonders. As his lips curve upwards, his dimples appear in his cheeks and she finds herself smiling at them. This close up, she can see his freckles and every last detail on his face.
She finds herself drawn in by his lips, those soft pink lips that suddenly seem so much more hypnotizing.
His eyes open once more to see her face close to his and her gaze is still fixated on the lips. Reaching out, he cups her chin gently, lifting it up so that their eyes lock and then he takes a deep breath, closing the gap between them.
Though she expected the action, she's still shocked and takes a few second to regain any form of composure before she's kissing him back. And boy, those lips are just as sweet as she'd imagined.
Their kiss is gentle, cautious, yet there's the possibility of something more daring hiding within. And she is more than excited to unleash that.
But then he pulls back, eyes moving over her face slowly. She waits with baited breath, relaxing when a smile breaks out across his lips.
She smiles too because it only caused her to fall further for him.
Finn grins brightly, moving to the bag again to get more things out of it. As he peers inside once more, this time taking an opportunity to look at the contents inside, his face falls. Rachel joins him in looking, her chin resting on his shoulder as she nosily peeps too.
It looks like an explosion occurred in there.
An explosion of food.
He reaches inside, pulling out what must have been sandwiches before but have been squashed to something that's barely recognizable. Finn scrambles to recover any other food but it's all been flattened by… oh, that's the book that she'd asked him to carry for her. And it's not exactly a light book either.
Rachel smiles sheepishly, catching the sly look that he's giving her. He doesn't seem angry – just annoyed that their food got ruined. It's sweet that he'd done that for her, for them. But she supposes that she's just ruined that.
She pulls a five dollar bill from her pocket, eyeing the ice cream stand relatively near to them. Following her gaze, he eventually grins and stands up, pulling her with him too. She bumps into his chest a little quickly and Finn steadies her, unable to not steal another quick kiss.
The woman beams, slipping her hand into his again.
She holds completely still, watching in silence as he moves the pencil across the page expertly, his tongue stuck out in concentration.
But she's been in the same position for a while and her back is starting to hurt. When she shifts ever so slightly, he instantly looks up and frowns a little. He gestures for her to give him one more minute and she sighs, giving in.
She's interested in his work.
Upon arriving at his apartment for the first time, and after she'd gotten over the excitement of seeing the flashing lights that he has on his phone and next to the door, she'd been just as intrigued by his drawings.
Some of them she didn't even believe were his as they were beautiful, stunning. And if they were his, then he should at least be famous for creating such wondering pieces of art.
And now she's his model. It'd been a shock when he'd asked her, and she'd had to reread the words a few times because, really, who would want to draw a picture of her?
Finn would apparently.
He's almost finished, just adding the final details to the image before he unveils it. She waits, a little impatiently, for him to finish.
Finally, he puts down the pencil and brings his gaze higher until he's looking her straight in the eye. He looks like an excited child on Christmas.
With a large and hopeful grin, he turns around the sketchbook in his hands and Rachel almost forgets how to breathe. Her mouth falls open, eyes widen and she reaches out to take it – to make sure that it's real because that's incredible. Her fingers trace over the meticulous detail taken with the drawing.
It looks exactly like her.
It's just… it's perfect. She feels some tears prickling at the back of her eyes as the emotion overwhelms her.
He's still waiting for some feedback, though her reaction should really be enough. She beams as she looks up at him, heart so full it could burst at any moment. Rachel kisses him deeply, the other way that she knows how to say thank you right now.
Her head shoots up as there's a knock to her bedroom door and she cautiously calls out, "who is it?"
"The only other person that you live with," Santana deadpans from the other side.
"What do you want?" Rachel huffs, putting down the cards that she'd been using to practice her sign language. The door slowly opens and in walks Santana with a sad look, her eyes downcast. It's so strange to see her this vulnerable side, especially when she's used to strong and confident Santana. Her voice softens. "Yes?"
Santana steps further into the room. "Can we talk, Berry?"
She lets out a long sigh. "What is there to talk about?"
"You've been ignoring me."
She pauses, face thoughtful. "I haven't been ignoring you," she says primly. "I just don't want to get into another argument about Finn."
Rachel looks her friend straight in the eye, making it very clear that she means it. She and Finn have only been an item for just over seven weeks, yet it feels like so much longer. And she spends each day savoring the moments with him because she knows that he's something special.
"I don't want to," Santana begins. "I came to talk to my best friend."
She scoffs. "Funny way of showing that you're my friend. Imply that I'm going to break up with Fi – "
"I just wanted you to be realistic," she says, "you know as well as I do that you sometimes get ahead of yourself. And I didn't want you to get your heart broken, okay?"
"But Finn would – "
"Never do that," she finishes with an eye roll. "I know. You keep telling me. I can't help it if I'm worried. My track record with men is pretty hideous which, you know, is why I gave them up all together." She shrugs. "Girls are better lovers anyway."
Listening intently, Rachel waits for more.
Santana joins her on the bed. "But that's me. And you… you're different than me, which is pretty unlucky for you." Rachel rolls her eyes. "Still, it means that I don't quite see this whole thing with Finn the way you do. I'm sure that in your head the two of you are probably an all singing, all dancing couple extraordinaire. And there are probably rainbows and musicals and whatever other weird things you're into. And I think that you really like each other too. From what I can see anyway." She eyes the cards, each showing different hand movements, accompanied by a word. "I mean, you're learning sign language for him."
Her face breaks into a smile. "So what are you saying exactly?"
"That," she begins, "maybe I can give this guy a chance… for your sake."
"Thank you," Rachel smiles happily.
She huffs when she gets away from the rest of the cast, resisting the urge to throw something hard against the wall.
The rehearsal was terrible.
People were forgetting lines, missing cues and the timing was all off. Why is it that she's the only one who notices this? And don't get her started on the sharp notes that Sunshine did on multiple occasions. She's working with amateurs! She grumbles to herself as she takes a sip of her water, getting ready to go home and relieve herself of all this stress.
One of her cast mates, Sam, walks by and sighs. "Man, that rehearsal was so long."
"Hmm," she says, not really in a talkative mood.
His face falls. "Are you still annoyed? You stormed out pretty quickly."
Rachel frowns, perching herself on the end of one of the prop tables, "I'm just…frustrated because nothing is working as it should. And I still think that Mr Schue is making a mistake by putting Sunshine as the lead. Her voice is already cracking under the pressure and we're only a few weeks into the rehearsals. How bad is she going to be on opening night?"
"You're just saying that because you want the lead," he chuckles. By now, they're all used to her rants about how she's musically superior. Most find it irritating while Sam is at least able to put up with it, and he's actually quite a sweet man. He places a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry. You'll get it one day."
"Yeah… well, until that day I guess I'm stuck as understudy."
"There could be worse parts," he says.
She sighs, "I don't even get to perform. Unless Sunshine can't, but she hasn't missed a single rehearsal." Rachel's shoulders slump. "This is the closest I've ever got to being the star…"
He moves toward her, wrapping his arm slowly around her shoulder, "Rachel, just stay positive, right?"
Eventually, she nods. "You're right. Thank you, Sam." She gives him a small smile, her hands moving around his waist to hug him gently. "It'll work out for me in the end."
He returns the hug, the two in a bliss silence.
"Finn?" Sam's voice is surprised and she turns to follow his gaze, seeing her boyfriend standing there.
His forehead is creased slightly as he watches the two and she immediately moves from out of Sam's grasp to go and greet him. He gives a wary smile, eyeing Sam as he leans down to kiss Rachel.
She looks at him as if to say "what're you doing here?" Having seen the look before, he produces a bag of food, from her favorite vegan café, and her face breaks out into a smile. Standing on her toes, she kisses his cheek before taking it from him. Finn doesn't notice. He's still glaring at Sam.
With a wave toward her friend, she tugs on Finn's hand so that they can head home. He seems tense as they walk back to her apartment, which happens to be nearest. She silently eats the sandwich that he'd bought her, trying to decipher whether there's something wrong.
His jaw is set tightly, a disgruntled expression on his face. Yup. There's a problem.
Only… how does she ask him what it is? She doesn't know enough sign language to do that, and she isn't exactly sure how to mime out the words to him.
Once again, the language barrier is blatantly obvious and she wishes that it was so much easier.
By the time they get to her apartment, she feels like there's a giant cloud hanging over her with rain just waiting to pour down heavily.
He follows her into the apartment slowly, a thoughtful expression on his face. She notices his own food in his hands, which he hasn't even touched, and she knows that Finn has a huge appetite. As he stares down at the floor, she takes hold of his hand, trying to gain his attention. He hasn't smiled since they were at the theatre.
Deciding that she'd rather find out sooner than later, she searches for her nearest notepad and begins to write in swirly letters.
What's wrong?
He'd been watching her as she wrote it and Finn immediately takes the pen from her hand, going straight to the point. Who was that guy that you were with?
That's why he's upset. It all seems so clear now. Still, she never really thought of Finn as the jealous type.
Sam, she simply puts. Finn gives her a look, as if pressing for more information. He's just a friend, Rachel confirms, underlining "friend."
Her boyfriend doesn't look so convinced, his face scrunched up in thought. He looked like he had more than friendship on his mind.
Rachel scoffs, despite the fact that no one will hear other than her. She glares at Finn, making it known that she's not pleased at what he's accusing Sam of, and practically snatches the pen from his hand to write.
Don't do this. Don't be the jealous boyfriend.
I'm not, he counters, but can't I be concerned about which guys are sniffing around you?
She rolls her eyes. Really? Is this actually happening. Finn, please quit while you're ahead. I've had a long day at work and I don't need this.
Both of their handwriting is getting sloppier as they go on, only concentrating on getting their thoughts out as quickly as possible. The pen digs into the page angrily as he writes, No, you're not changing the subject.
I just don't want us to get into a petty fight over something stupid.
His jaw clenches. You think that this is stupid?
After a long sigh, she turns to him and wonders how things spiralled out of control so quickly. I think that you're making a big deal out of nothi –
Before she can even finish her writing, her effectively stops her by ripped the page out of the book and scrunching it up. As if it was that simple. He can't just erase the words that they've shared. When she goes to get that paper back, he moves his hand faster and sets a glare upon her.
"You're being immature," she says slowly, watching him observe her lips so that he can understand what she's telling him. He must because his eyes narrow and he throws the paper in the corner of the room.
Rachel glares at him, standing up from where she was previously right now to the man and crossing her arms. "I hope that you feel better now," she announces, more to get it out of her system rather than to rile him up some more.
His silence bugs her, even though he can't help it.
He should trust her completely, especially about something like this, and her word should be the final say. Apparently he can't even do that, which leads to a problem.
Finn frowns at her, waiting for something to happen. But what exactly do they do? Is this thing even an argument? Because he's doing a pretty good job at getting her irritated yet she can't even shout at him, which she sure feels like doing.
She huffs, stomping her foot childishly and he rolls his eyes in response. "Don't do that," she warns, pointing her finger at him. His face shows complete confusion, but she carries on regardless. He may not be able to hear her, though she's going to yell anyway. "I can't believe that you're being so stubborn and judgemental when you don't even know Sam!" She paces the room. "And you're supposed to trust me. I'm your girlfriend.
"Why don't you trust me?" she says sadly to herself, posture slumping.
But Finn has no idea what she's saying.
And for once she wishes that he could just hear every damn word so that he knows how he's making her feel.
Sick of seeing his clueless face, she turns on her heels and storms into her bedroom, slamming the door shut after herself.
The argument was stupid and came from nothing, but she thinks that her frustration was due more to him just shutting off and refusing to see her point of view. He threw the paper away, the only solid way that she could talk to him, and he tossed it aside.
Is this what every dispute will encounter?
Finn pushing her away as she tries to regain any communication?
It's always going to be hard though, isn't it? If the relationship lasts, that is. They're always going to have a struggle and she's going to have to get used to that, if of course they stay together. It's only now that she doubts it.
Is she really ready to do something like this? Now, there's nothing wrong with Finn, as she's insisted to Santana, but she knows that it won't be easy. Even now, just when they're dating, they find it difficult to have the simplest of conversations.
They never get to say things like "How are you?" and "How was your day?"
Unless of course Kurt is there and, as lovely as he is, he can't be there for the rest of their lives.
And, when she thinks about it, it'd be so much easier to leave before it's too late. Before she's grown too attached to Finn.
But maybe that's already happened, seeing as the thought of breaking up with him causes her heart to ache with so much pain that she can barely move. Her feelings are too strong for him and she knows it.
Maybe they needed this, something to show them the true reality of what they have. It's not going to be simple and easy. They have to put work into it. It'll be better when she's improved her sign language and he understands what she's trying to say to him, but they'll manage until then.
All Rachel knows is, she isn't willing to give him up after one fight.
She hears knocking.
"Go away!" she screams like an upset teenager. Only problem is, she's twenty six and such behaviour is a little young for her.
Also, Finn's not going to hear that, is he?
He knocks again.
And again.
Finn is very persistent, she finds.
With a low growl, she climbs off of her bed and wipes her teary eyes before slowly moving to the door where his knocking remains.
She opens the door, her face sad and upset, to meet an even glummer Finn Hudson. Sniffling loudly, she wipes at her eyes again and slowly moves her gaze up to meet his.
His eyes are doing all the apologizing but just in case she didn't notice, he's holding up a sheet of paper that's says I'm sorry. He's made an effort to make his handwriting neat for once, the letters smoother than normal. Please forgive me for being an overreacting douche?
Rachel throws herself into his arms, showing her all the forgiveness in a tight hug. He drops the paper, though it doesn't really matter as he cradles her gently in his arms. They're both smiling at the reconciliation, simply being with each other the cure to sadness.
She smiles to herself, absolutely sure that she isn't going to give him up.
Problems are there to be solved, right?
The first time he meets Santana is quite nerve-racking to be honest.
It's a meeting that's long overdue in Rachel's opinion, but she wants to be sure that both are willing to be as nice to each other as possible. Finn knows about Santana initial disapproval of him, but hopefully he understands that she's actually in support of their relationship.
And Santana? Rachel never knows with that woman. She could be lovely and kind, or she could be a little rude to him, seeing as she's scared off some of Rachel's previous boyfriends.
She decides to go somewhere public where Santana should be on her best behavior.
"So this is the infamous Finn Hudson?" she asks with a smirk. She then whispers to Rachel, "He's kinda cute up close, if you like guys with a potato head."
Rachel glares, aware that Santana's only joking but she still shakes her head. Her arm is linked with Finn and she gives it a reassuring squeeze because he's very nervous about meeting her intimidating best friend.
She'd told him to stay calm as Santana's a big softie inside.
"Let's sit down," she says, leading them over to one of the booths in the quiet bar that's near their apartments. Finn slides in next to her, their thighs flush together.
Santana raises an eyebrow and Rachel grins in reply. It's her boyfriend and she'll sit as close to him as she wants. She feels him slide his arm around her waist and naturally leans into his shoulder.
"Oh God, you're not that couple, are you?"
"What couple?" she asks, slightly offended by the way Santana said it.
"You know," Santana says slowly, "that couple that can't keep their hands off of each other, even in public places."
She's about to protest, to say that they're not that couple, before she looks down and sees her hand resting on Finn's thigh. She certainly doesn't remember putting it there but clearly she must have. Santana smirks, going into her bag for her purse. "Drinks then? I'll pay for first round but after that you guys are gonna have to supply 'em while I demand."
"You're not going to get drunk, are you?"
"I need to let my hair down Berry. I just want to live a little, is that a crime?"
Rachel sighs. "But you're supposed to be getting to know Finn."
"I'll be friendlier when I'm drunk," she claims, "and I'll be real nice to Lurch over here." In a way, Rachel's kind of glad that Finn can't hear what Santana's saying. Still, she'd prefer it if the woman stayed sober.
She fears that she won't be able to stop her.
It's a disaster, she thinks by the time that Santana has fully committed to "letting her hair down" and is dancing insanely in the middle of the bar. Finn must think that she's friends with the strangest people.
Rachel turns to him, ready to apologize for Santana's behavior when she finds him laughing.
And he looks completely at ease, not as stiff and frightened as he did when they first entered. This is good, right?
She wants them to get along.
His gaze meets her where he grins brightly and leans down for a quick kiss, his happiness practically radiating from the man. It's completely contagious. Rachel finally manages to relax too, enjoying Santana as she dances with a girl that she met a mere five minutes ago. Finn gives her a look as if to say "Is she always like this?"
Rachel smiles knowingly, glad that he isn't intimidated by that.
A few minutes later she motions to him that she's going to the bathroom and that he should keep an eye on Santana. He nods quickly, his eyes drifting over to her friend. She watches him for a few seconds before she goes, casually drinking on his beer.
Everything is going so perfectly.
By the time she gets back, she spies Santana sitting next to him and her heart drops. Santana isn't flirting with him, is she?
No, no, she's a good friend. She wouldn't do that.
And she doesn't want to be with guys anyway. She says that enough.
Rachel moves closer, ready to break Santana from Finn if she needs to. They don't notice her at all, which gives her a chance to listen in on whatever Santana is saying. "Look, Hudson. Berry is my girl and we've lived together for two years now." She takes a swig of her drink. "She's like my sister and as her sister, I'm telling you to treat that girl right."
She smiles brightly at Santana's words, a hand moving over where her heart is. Finn is pretending that he understands, nodding along to her drunk rambles.
"If you break her heart," Santana says, poking a finger into his chest, "I'm going to find you and Aunty Snixx will hurt you, got it? Got it?" Thankfully, he's still nodding and she's quickly satisfied.
"But Berry's crazy about you anyway, even though it's only been like three months. She's like in love with you or something."
Her breath halts.
"You're all she ever talks about and she gets this look in her eye when she does. It's like… like you make her so happy."
Is it just her, or did Santana just tell Finn that Rachel loved him?
'Cause that's… that's preposterous, isn't it? Falling in love with someone so quickly.
Like Santana said, it's only the very beginning of their relationship and they're still testing things out. But maybe – she could be right.
How is she supposed to know? She's never been in love before so she has nothing to compare it to. No point at which she can say, "Yes, definitely love." How in the world do you tell? She looks over at Finn, at how he keeps on nodding to everything that Santana says, just trying to appease the woman. He looks adorable and handsome at the same time, the right mix of manliness and childlike charm.
Her heart beats a little faster, warming at the sight.
Santana begins to leans to the side, her head lulling and he instantly reaches out to make sure that she doesn't fall. He's such a gentleman in every way. Looking up, his eyes meet her and a bright smile spreads across onto his face.
She smiles back, no beams, her happiness undeniable
And then she just knows.
She loves him.
There's no other explanation as to what this feeling could be. It's like she's soaring high, with no boundaries and dangers around her whatsoever, adrenaline pumping through her veins. She feels slightly delirious with her own happiness and practically stumbles over to the pair.
Just in time for weepy, drunk Santana to appear.
It usually happens when the buzz dies down and tonight she's crying over the fact she's happy for her best friend having someone. Finn, still amused, peers at Rachel.
She points to the door with a questioning look and he nods, helping Santana up and holding her steady. Rachel moves to her other side, hooking her arm around her shoulders.
"I'm so happy for you and Lurch," she sobs.
"I know 'Tana," Rachel smiles, "I know."
Once they've put Santana to bed, although they suspect that she might still be in her room mumbling incoherent things, they relax in front of the TV. Rachel's used to seeing the subtitles on there now, so much that she barely notices.
She curls up in Finn's lap, feeling tired as he gently strokes her hair.
"Hm, I love you," she says sleepily.
Of course, Finn didn't hear it. He isn't even aware that she'd said anything. So she tries again. With a gentle nudge, she catches his attention.
And there isn't any paper around, so she'll have to go to plan B.
These probably aren't the official signs for it, but they're pretty universal so he'll understand, hopefully.
"I," she points to her eyes, then gesturing to her heart, "love." Finally, she points to Finn. "You," she sighs contently.
He breaks out into a grin, his cheeks turning light pink. Bringing up his free hand, he copies her actions, adding a "too" in there are well.
She leans closer to him, cupping his chin and placing a slow kiss to his lips. Finn smiles into the kiss, his hand beginning to run through her soft hair. Their noses rub against each other and their eyes lock, neither wanting to forget this moment.
"Guys, my show is coming on. I can't having you macking on the couch, now shoo."
"Well, you've certainly cheered up," she comments to Santana, who looks relatively normal now.
She shrugs. "I recover quickly."
Rachel rolls her eyes, sending Finn a sultry look. No explanation is needed as stands up and pulls her toward the bedroom.
They sit in the audience, completely enthralled by the show before them. As much as she loves performing, there's something else about watching other people bring a story to life before you and some of these voice are spectacular.
Of course, she can hear the occasional flaws, but that's only because she has a trained ears which can detect the pitches perfectly. She didn't go to vocal lessons all those years for nothing.
In her own little bubble of excitement, she turns to Finn only to find him asleep, mouth hanging open as he does so.
She honestly doesn't know what to do.
This is embarrassing enough. You don't just go to sleep at a Broadway production. But then, he won't at all be following the story because he can't hear the lines.
Oh, she knew that this was a bad idea. She told him that she'd get someone else to go with her, that she doesn't mind it not being them. But Finn had insisted, claiming that he wanted to show her that he could like her interests.
Well apparently not.
She knows that she should be a little pissed at him, especially when people are them are sending dirty looks their way, yet they don't understand.
The only worry is will he do this at one of her performances? It'd be in the future of course and maybe he'd learn from today. Still, the idea leaves her slightly mortified. How bad would it look if her own boyfriend couldn't even stay awake for her play?
She lets him sleep because she doesn't want him sitting through something where he has no clue what is going on. They won't make a habit of going on dates here, of course, which saddens her a little.
She always imagined her doing this whenever possible with her boyfriend / husband. Because, well, it could have been their thing.
Her plans can always change, she supposes.
She tells him about her thoughts on it that night.
She writes it all down at once, not wanting to be interrupted and just letting the flow of the words come out. It's easier that way.
As he sits reading it, she watches him curiously. She wonders what is going through his head because she can't really read his face. He shifts in his seat, clearing his throat quietly with his eyes still glued on the page.
It's so silent that she could probably hear a pin drop.
Finally, he looks up at her, a guilty expression on his face. She knows that he feels bad about falling asleep because he hadn't even realized that it had happened, though she doesn't blame him. She'd made that very clear in the note.
Finn reaches out, clasping his large hands around hers. They're warm and gentle, like he's taking the uttermost care as he holds them.
He waits until her eyes are locked on his before smiling softly.
He brings her right hand up to his mouth, worshipping the skin with his lips. Rachel smiles adoringly at her boyfriend, watching as he drops her hands slowly and then begins to write on the other side of the paper
You don't have to worry about me falling asleep during your performance, he begins, because when you are the star, you're going to shine so brightly that I won't be able to keep my eyes off you.
The smile on his face grows, And I'm going to be the first once cheering for you, every night.
Rachel smiles brightly, tears pushing their way forwards. And Finn, looking at her so sweetly, smiles too. She knows that he means it, every word.
Each week, even each day, she feels like she learns so much more.
Finn begins using sign language with her whenever he can, which is pretty scary because she doesn't think that she's ready for that.
It gets easier though.
Soon enough she can string a sentence or two together.
And she'll never forget how proud Finn looks when she speaks to him like that. Because she learned it for him.
And she's been learning for a little for five months now, so it's time that she uses it with him.
He tells her that no one has ever done that before, except for family and close friends of the family, the people who he was constantly around as he grew up. All of who knew him before he was deaf.
She's the first person who met him afterwards who tried to learn.
"Thank you," he signs. She knows that one easily, since he says it a lot. Turns out Finn Hudson is very grateful for what he has.
"What does your voice sound like?"
She frowns. Did she understand that right? She asks him to repeat the signs and, sure enough, she did get it right first time.
"My voice?" she questions back.
Finn nods, a smile teasing his lips, "I want to know what you sound like."
She frowns a little, wondering exactly how to describe her voice. She's never really done that before, or not that she remembers anyway. It's a pretty difficult thing to so, she thinks. Her immediate response is to always go on and on about how amazing her voice is – about how it comes second to none.
But with Finn she feels like she should describe it a different way.
With a sigh, she begins, "When I talk, it's high and girly. And the more excited I get, the faster I talk." She smiles. "When I sing it's – it's loud and soft at the same time. I put all of my emotion into my voice when I sing."
He grins and nods, as if expecting that to be his answer.
"I'd love to her you sing, one day."
Her heart drops as he signs that to her. He knows that the likelihood of him regaining hearing is slim to none and he's only messing with his emotions by thinking like that.
But then his smile is so sure, so happy and it hurts a little. She smiles softly, taking hold of his hand. She doesn't say anything in reply.
"Do you need any help with that?" she stands in the kitchen of Finn's family home, nervously shifting from one foot to the other as she offers his mother a helping hand. She just wants her to be accepted by Carole, seeing as Finn thinks so highly of the woman.
And now, after she's finally met her, she doesn't want to ruin it.
Carole turns with a smile. "Oh, no, dear, everything's absolutely fine here. You go and enjoy yourself."
Though a little deflated that Carole hadn't accepted her help, she goes off to find someone that she knows. Finn had taken her to a party in order to meet his family, seeing that it was long overdue and he'd met her fathers a few weeks prior – not that either seemed too interested in their relationship, which both saddened and annoyed him. But still, at least they knew and Rachel decided that that was enough.
But Finn's family is important. He's so close to all of them, and she wants to be a part of that. She's never really been close to that many people, aside from Santana, who she'd known since her days at school.
She spies Kurt in the living room with his husband, Blaine, who is holding Maddy in his arms.
"Hi, Aunty Rachel!" the little girl greets happily.
She smiles warmly at her, loving how she calls her "Aunty Rachel" and has for months now.
"How're you?" Kurt asks, sipping at his drink, "I see that you've been trying to get into Carole's good book."
She sighs. "I'm just trying to get her to like me."
"Don't worry," he assures her, "she will. She'll love you, seeing as Finn practically worships that ground that you walk on." Rachel can't help but smile at that. It's an over exaggeration, of course, but it's nice to hear.
"Hmm, I offered to help her with the cooking, but she said no." She pouts lightly.
Kurt smiles, "Rachel, that's nothing. It's just that she likes to do things herself and Quinn's always there if she ever needs help."
Her brow furrows, "Who's Quinn?"
"She's a really close family friend," he explains, "we've known her since she was about five. Oh look, there she is now." He points across the room, Rachel following the direction and frowning when she sees the blonde, perfect in every way. She laughs lightly as she mingles with other people, most of which Rachel has no idea who they are.
"She's pretty," she comments, staring at the conventionally beautiful woman. And she's not lying either. She's the kind of girl that got everything she wanted in high school, including all the boys that she wanted.
The man next to Rachel nods. "She is, isn't she? I got quite close to her when she and Finn dated."
Rachel freezes. "What?"
He notices her expression and smiles reassuringly. "Oh, you probably didn't want to hear that."
She quickly regains her bearing. "No, no. Please tell me." She needs to know. Finn dated this girl? Why in the world did he end it with her?
"They only dated for about two years," Kurt says quickly, "it didn't even get that serious. It's just – I don't think that Quinn could handle it, the thought of being with someone who's deaf for the rest of her life, so she broke up with him."
Her eyes shift over to Quinn once again, imagining her with Finn. Two years is a long time, longer than how long she's been with Finn anyway.
Why did he never tell her about Quinn before? Is it because she doesn't mean anything to him in that way, or is it too painful to remember her?
"How did he take it?" she asks curiously, unable to remove her gaze from the woman who gracefully moves to another group of people.
"He was upset at first, but then they stayed friends. It's hard getting close to people, since not many people can use sign language," he says, "so it was good for Finn to keep her as a friend. And they get along well with each other." He smiles to himself. "She's such a lovely girl."
"I remember when Finn had surgery – "
"When did he have surgery?" she questions, not believing that she didn't know this already.
Kurt sighs, "He's been trying out new trials to help his condition for years. On one particular occasion, Quinn spent the whole night at the hospital with him. She loved him so much."
Rachel feels her heart sink a little.
How is she supposed to compete with someone like Quinn? She hates that she's so insecure about things like this but that's what many rejections can do to you.
She notices Finn enter the room again and a pang of jealously hits as Quinn begins to talk to him, using sign language, of course. They're laughing and smiling, unlike Rachel. She watches with a pained expression. This isn't good.
"Berry!" Santana calls as she enters the apartment. "You home?"
"In here," comes the quiet and unusually melancholy reply of Rachel. She's curled up on the couch, surrounding by a huge blanket that drowns her completely. Her head turns to Santana where she offers her a small smile. "You're back early."
Santana shrugs off her coat. "Yeah, sorry to interrupt your pity party."
"I'm not having a pity party," Rachel says primly, moving her gaze elsewhere.
"This is the blanket that you use when you're upset," she tells her, "and you're watching Hoarders. You always watch Hoarders when there's something on your mind."
"Actually," she begins. "I find it to be a very riveting program..."
"Cut the crap, Berry," she orders, sitting beside her and tugging away the blanket. "What's eatin' you?"
Eyeing Santana, Rachel eventually sighs. "It's nothing really…"
She shrugs. "If it's getting you down, then I want to hear."
Rachel sighs, leaning back in the chair and staring at the ceiling. "It's stupid," she says, "just me being paranoid, as usual."
"You can tell me," her friend says softly. "And I'll beat their ass for you. That is, if it is a person that's bothering you."
She debates what to say exactly – it's not like Quinn is doing this on purpose, is it? Because she doesn't even know how conflicted Rachel feels or that she's the person who stirred those feelings inside the woman. It's just… it's strange to think that Finn has been with other people. Well, not really because he has a wonderful personality, not to mention that he's also a very attractive man.
But she kind of forced the idea that he had girlfriends before her out of her head because it's not exactly a fun topic.
And Quinn, she's just so successful and pretty. Rachel can't even get the lead in the production whereas Quinn has been in movies. Albeit only in small roles, but it's only a matter of time until she's picked out for the big league. How will Rachel even consider competing with that?
"When I met Finn's family," she explains, "there was this girl, a girl named Quinn."
"Is she some bitchy ex who was jealous of you because you have her man?" she rolls her eyes. "Typical."
Rachel scrunches up her nose. "No," she replies, "Quinn was… she was actually really nice." That's what makes it worse. How can she not like someone who was so lovely to her?
She shrugs,. "It could have all been an act. She could really be evil." Her eyes widen. "I should know. I'm a bitch too."
At this, Rachel chuckles, "Yeah, but you've grown soft over the years." Her teasing smile earns a glare from Santana. "Anyway," Rachel says, "this woman – she dated Finn when she was twenty and they broke up two years later. She told me that she regrets breaking up with him."
Santana gasped. "What did you say?"
"What was I supposed to say? I didn't want to be completely rude to her, but it scared me, you know? Because she's so pretty and she could probably get any guy that she wants. And I'm… well I'm me."
Santana rolls her eyes. "Berry, I thought that you were over bringing yourself down."
"I am, but – "
"No buts," she insists. "Listen to 'Tana. She knows best, and she thinks that you're one hot lady. You don't need to compare yourself to some blonde bimbo who's going after your man." Rachel sighs, since Quinn isn't actually doing anything wrong and she's far from the "bimbo" that Santana describes.
She just… she's worried, okay?
She slowly stands, "I'm going to go to my room. Maybe take a nap."
"You never take naps," Santana comments.
"I need to clear my head."
With a sigh, Rachel leaves the room, not feeling any better than before. Maybe she feels worse.
"Are you serious?" she asks Mr Schue, "I'm not dreaming, am I?" She pinches herself just to check, her skin feeling tingly as she does. This is actually happening!
Mr Schue offers her a smile, clasping a hand onto her shoulder. "It is. You're not dreaming. Sunshine suffered a pretty nasty fall, but managed to get by with only a broken arm and few bruises. Unfortunately, she's in no position to perform. So, Miss Rachel Berry, it's all up to you." She almost forgets to breathe. "It's going to be difficult, with opening night in a few days, yet I have confidence in you."
She claps her hands together, just about ready to burst from the pure excitement, "I won't let you down! I'll be early for rehearsal and the last one to leave! Oh, this is amazing." She actually gives a tiny squeal of pure glee, her face scrunched up tightly.
The older man laughs, "I'm glad that you're so eager. Now, I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to be somewhere."
Rachel nods, "Of course. Thank you so much for this opportunity." She doesn't actually know how to compete with the rush of emotions. She feels faint! As Mr Schue begins to leave, she grabs her phone and texts Finn a mess of a text, unable to type as her fingers are shaking so much.
She's going to be the lead, on Broadway.
The euphoric feeling washes over her again and a fresh amount of tears sprout through. Rachel is beyond happy.
And then she knows that just sending Finn a text isn't enough – she needs to see him in person. Witness the expression on his face when she tells him that she's finally made it.
She practically runs to his apartment, a ball of energy and enthusiasm as she climbs the stairs. The door is already unlocked and she bursts in unannounced. "Finn!" she calls out in joy, skipping into the room, only halting when she sees Finn and Quinn on the couch. "What's going on?" she asks.
Quinn stands up, "Finn and I were just catching up."
"Right," she states, "Catching up? Didn't you do that at the party?"
"I'm leaving in a few days," Quinn says, "and we were talking about old times." She wears a sweet smile. "I hope that that's okay?"
"No, no," Rachel replies, her voice higher than normal, "that's fine."
Quinn hesitates, "It doesn't sound like it's – "
"It is," she insists. Finn, watching the exchange back and forth, has his face scrunched up in confusion.
Quinn observes Rachel's expression, wondering why she's being so cold. She picks up her handbag, throwing it over her shoulder before leaning down to hug Finn. "It was nice spending the day with you," she signs.
"You too," Finn replies, still eyeing Rachel warily.
"See you, Rachel," Quinn says as she begins to leave. "It was nice meeting you."
"Likewise," she says, though it doesn't sound like she really means it.
As soon as she's gone, Rachel sets her glare on Finn, who is none the wiser about what's going on. "Did you spend the whole day with Quinn?" she asks. It's silly, that she's letting this get to her, but there's just something about Quinn that leaves her feeling unsettled.
He nods. "Why?"
Rachel shrugs, purposely turning away from him when she feels his hand on her shoulder. His eyes gaze with concern. She shakes her head, showing him that she doesn't want to talk about it – she doesn't want to bring up Quinn again.
He doesn't let it slip though. He nudges her playfully, raising an eyebrow in question.
"I think that she's still in love with you," she signs, probably messing it up because she's so nervous.
And now Finn is looking at her like she's crazy. But she isn't. The way that Quinn acts around Finn, so friendly and forward, is a little too much sometimes. Like, if she were like that with another man, people would automatically assume that she liked him. Why can't she do the same?
He smiles innocently, shaking his head and making it clear that he thinks the idea is ridiculous.
She glares. She isn't being stupid and she can't help that she's worried.
But now he's looking at her like she's said a funny joke. She's one hundred percent serious and it's irritating how he doesn't realize.
"How do you know?" she questions, her eyes narrowed on him.
"She's my friend."
Rachel isn't buying into that. She's seen the way that Quinn looks at Finn – she even admitted to Rachel that she regrets breaking up with him, so of course she's going to be on red alert concerning the woman.
She crosses her arms, an unimpressed look spreading across her face.
His face scrunches up in hurt and confusion. "You can be friends with Sam, but I can't be friends with Quinn?"
She frowns deeply, eyebrows knotted together. "That's different!" she insists, her hand movements angry and fast.
"How?"
Going to reply, she soon realizes that she can't. It just is, okay?
But it's all going to be okay as Quinn is leaving in a few days and then she won't have reason to be worried.
Finn, however, can't let it go. "Don't you trust me?" he asks.
She sighs and nods, "Of course."
He glares. "No, you don't."
Why doesn't he believe her? She doesn't want to have an argument, really. This is just… it's getting carried away with herself and letting her insecurities get the better of her.
She swivels around so that she's facing him fully, her eyes doing all of the apologizing. He doesn't need all of her crazy right now. "I love you," she starts off, those particular signs practically second nature to her by now. "I just…" she stops to think for a moment, "I worry that you'll choose someone else. Someone better than me."
His eyes widen slightly and he moves closer to her.
"I could never have anyone better than you."
She clings onto him, her need for him overwhelming the small woman. What would she do if she ever lost him? He's just… he's her everything. And she believes that it was more than chance that she saved him from that truck all those months ago.
There's something else – something bigger.
Finn kisses her forehead sweetly, his lips lingering for a moment as his hands take hold of hers. She's trying not to cry as she can only imagine the heartbreak that could follow if Finn left her.
She's been being a little crazy, letting herself get paranoid.
He's already been with Quinn and, if he wanted to be with her again, then surely he would've done something by now. Also, he's making it abundantly clear that he loves her, and only her.
Rachel leans into him, breathing a sigh of relief.
It's obvious now that she should have sorted this out earlier, and actually communicated with him rather than letting her imagination only confuse her further. In the future, she'll make sure that that happens.
"You can't let him do this," she demands of Kurt after she'd arrived at his apartment that morning. Blaine is already at work, so it's just the two of them. "He can't have surgery."
"Rachel," Kurt sighs, trying to put her at ease, "I'm not exactly happy with this either but there's no stopping Finn once he puts his mind to something. And he wants to go through with this surgery." She still looks frightened. "It's only a minor one. It's a trial, by the hospital. You know that he always keeps updated on possible things to help his condition."
"But they don't even know if it works," she argues, sitting herself down sadly. "I don't want him to go through all that hope just to find out that it isn't going to give him any hearing back."
He comes to join her on the couch, taking her hand in his and petting it lightly. "You've got to at least stay positive for Finn."
Rachel frowns deeply, "I just don't want to see how sad he is when it doesn't work. Because there's a 99% chance that it won't and, if he convinces himself that this is the cure, then he'll be heartbroken." She shakes her head slowly, eyes downcast, "I don't want him to get hurt."
"I'm not one for deluding myself," he begins, "but what if it does work? What if he can finally hear again?" His serious eyes stare back at her. "Do you really want to take that chance away from him?"
Of course not.
She wants nothing but the best for him and it would be a miracle if he ever regained hearing, yet it would be a long and emotional journey to get to there, one that she fears might be too much for Finn.
He won't listen to her though.
It's been days and he still won't listen because he wants this; he wants his hearing back.
The day comes, the day that she's been dreading for a while.
They arrive at the hospital, hand in hand, and meet his doctor there, who explains the whole procedure. They're operating on the inside of his ear, which creeps her out and frightens her too.
She clings onto Finn's hand as they wait, too scared to let go.
She has half a mind to drag him back to his apartment, where it's safe and they can just curl up on the couch together.
But this isn't just about what she wants – it's about what Finn wants too. That's part of being in a relationship, and something you have to do something even if you don't like it.
She's close to tears as she watches him get ready, sitting in his private room. He notices quickly, wrapping his arms around her and sitting her on his lap. He gently caresses her cheek, fingertip brushing against her skin as though she's precious and rare.
He nods, trying to tell her that it's okay.
She tries to believe him.
The surgery doesn't work which, though Finn is insistent that he didn't expect it to, makes them both quite sad. Though she's only sad because his mood has plummeted so much and she doesn't understand why.
He was told that the rates of success were low, and the expected result happened.
And though it would have been miraculous and amazing if it had worked, they were prepared for this.
Rachel doesn't even care because he's still her Finn, hearing or not. She'll love him for who he is with all of her heart. It's just upsetting that he can't seem to do the same.
She needs to talk to him, whether he wants to or not, as he can't spend the next few weeks in this gloomy state. The way she does this is by baking. The smell of her famous banana bread lures him into the kitchen easily where he wraps his arms around her from behind and kisses her cheek gently while eyeing the fresh baked loaf.
"Is it ready?" he signs.
She holds up a finger to tell him to wait a minute while it cools down and she spins in place, smiling at him.
"I want to ask you something," she replies, her own hand movements much slower than Finn's as she's concentrating on getting it all right. Just over four months of classes and she's come so far.
Finn nods his head, taking a seat in one of the kitchen chairs and staring up at her innocently. She takes a deep breath, leaning herself against the counter as she signs. "You've been sad…" She searches for the world lately in her mind and comes up short. He'll still understand, right? "Is it the surgery?"
His face falls, clearly showing that it's not a favorite topic area of his. But that doesn't mean that it's going to be supressed in the back of his mind. She's going to make sure of that. "Yes," he replies, trying to hide his upset.
With a sigh, she slowly pulls off her apron and joins him on the other chair. Her eyes keep his locked in place for a few seconds before she asks him. "And why are you upset?" The man is not wearing the same soft smile that she's used to. "Finn, tell me."
"I want to be normal."
She wonders whether she understood him properly, or whether she's reading the signs wrong again. Something about his expression tells her that she did understand correctly.
"I don't want to be a freak anymore," Finn signs quickly, so fast that it takes her a minute or so to put it all together in her mind.
"You're not a freak," she responds back.
His eyes are cast downwards. "But I'm not like everyone else." He pauses, waiting for her to catch up out of habit, "I just want my hearing back so badly." She feels her heart reach out for Finn, her Finn, who wants the simplest of things, yet can't have it. The world can be mean, she knows herself, and she wonders if he'll ever get his true wish.
But he can't keep hoping on it. That'd just be too painful as more and more failures occurred. And she absolutely hates to see Finn going through any sort of pain, especially that caused by the cruel part of anyone's mind.
He'd just be torturing himself.
She won't let him. She loves him too much to let that happen.
"Why do you want to be normal?" she asks, "because we'll never be normal. You and I. We're part of something special- a bigger plan." She sure hopes that all of this is right, and she's not saying anything stupid or nonsensical to Finn. He's listening intently, so that'd got to be a big sign. "And the only person you should want to be is you. You're perfect in every way."
She smiles widely. "And the only Finn Hudson I love is the one sitting right in front of me."
Finn stares back at her, eyes watery. The message seems to have finally hit home, which gives her great relief. She doesn't know what she'd do if she had to deal with a sad Finn for the next few weeks. She needs her bubbly and happy man to be with.
"Better?" she questions.
He nods, signing, "Can we have the banana bread now?"
She doesn't even bother hiding her grin.
Everything seems like a blur as she stands backstage after her first performance. The cast had received a standing ovation, and the cheers had been overwhelming as they bowed to the audience. She'd seen Finn, the tallest on the front row, clapping his hands and smiling proudly toward her.
Their eyes meet. Rachel waves and blows him a kiss, which he pretends to catch and pocket.
Now, after the initial high has worn down, she waits in her dressing room.
Some of the cast had previously been in, celebrating with her and she sips on her small glass of champagne.
Now she's just thinking about the performance and how right it felt to be on that stage because that's where she belongs. She wouldn't give that feeling up for the world. Adrenaline is still pumping through her veins, making her unable to stand still in one place.
She's thankful when there's a knock on the door and then Finn is peeping his head into the tiny space. With a grin, she bounces over to him and engulfs the man in her tiny arms. Rachel squeals happily to herself, positive that she's going to squeeze the air from his lungs if she carries on hugging him so tightly.
But Finn soon reciprocates, wrapping his own arms around her and picking her up to spin her around the room. She giggles, holding onto him with a sturdy grip before he drops her to her feet gently, swooping down for a sweet kiss.
When they pull back for air, he gives her some "applause", that same proud look on his face.
She's never been so happy in her life.
Finn reaches into the pocket of his shirt, producing a small velvet covered box.
She freezes. He's going to propose. Oh, she was not expecting this.
They're not ready for marriage – they've only been dating for a few months and, as much as she loves him, she doesn't want to ruin their relationship. She wants to take it slow and steady, treasuring ever milestone that they reach together.
With baited breath, she watches as he opens the tiny box, oblivious to the shock and slight worry on her face.
But it's not a ring.
It's a key.
With a creased forehead and small pout, she looks up at him.
He takes it out of the box, which is kind of hard when his fingers are shaking so much, and presses it to her palm before closing her hand around it.
"This is a key to my apartment," he signs slowly, "or, our apartment, if you want."
When she realizes what he means, she pulls him closer and peppers his face with kisses. He doesn't seem to mind the attention either.
"I can't believe that you're moving out," Santana says as she helps Rachel to put her things into boxes. "We've lived together for two years and now you're dumping me for your boyfriend."
She sighs. "For the last time, I'm not dumping you. I'm merely taking an exciting and thrilling step in my relationship with Finn. Of course, I'm sad to be leaving, but you understand right?" Rachel stops stacking her DVDs in a box to turn to her friend who is staring at something in her hands.
Standing slowly, she joins her on the bed to see Santana looking at the picture of her and Rachel at her birthday party the year prior. Both are laughing heartily for the camera, leaning on each other for support.
"I always loved that picture," Rachel comments with a smile.
"Hmm," she replies, "that was one good party. This year's is gonna top it though."
"I am not drinking this time," she insists.
Santana nudges her. "Where's the fun in that?"
She points to her picture, nose scrunched up. "As funny as it was back then, it's kind of embarrassing when I think of what I did. Do you remember when we started dancing against each other?"
Her friend laughs. "Yeah, and then you jumped on the table, singing about five different songs in one."
"I'm very talented like that," she grins as they reminisce.
Then there's silence.
They stare at the mass of boxes around them, some still half open and needing filling.
"One thing's for sure," Santana says, "I'm not going to miss your crap." Rachel rolls her eyes. "But maybe, you know, I'll miss you… just a little."
Rachel slowly smiles, "I'll miss you too. I'll only be fifteen minutes away though."
"Yeah, but it won't be the same. It never is," she sighs, "I've seen this before." She notices how Rachel appears guilty, throwing her gaze downwards as not to look her in the eyes. "Hey, don't be like that. I'm happy for you, really Berry. And now you can be miserable living with Finn for the rest of your life, instead of you cool, hot best friend."
"Thanks," she smiles, feeling tears in her eyes. "It's really sad that I have to leave."
"Oh, don't start crying," she warns.
She wipes her eyes, unable to stop the onslaught of tears, "I can't help it. I love you so much." And then she fully breaks down.
"Berry," Santana places a hand on her shoulder. "Stop it. Stop it now, or I'll cry."
Rachel shakes her head, unable to fight away the waterworks. She places her hand over Santana's, gripping it tightly for comfort.
Next to her, she hears a stifled sob and turns to see that she had indeed made Santana begin to cry. "It's been a good two years, hasn't it?" she asks, trying to smile. It's a rare moment when Santana Lopez is this vulnerable and she pulls the woman closer for a hug.
"It has," she replies, "but just because I'll be living with Finn doesn't mean that things have to change."
"Don't feed me that. Everything's going to change!"
She shakes her head firmly. "No. You're still my best friend. And you're coming to watch my show in a couple of days. We- we're still going to see each other."
"Not as much," she counters.
"I know."
"I can't believe that you've turned me into such a mess," she wipes at her face, noticing that her makeup has run. "You and your damn dramatics."
With a small sniffle, she smiles because she knows that her and Santana will be fine. This was inevitable and, though it pains her to leave, she's still going to be happy. And so is her friend. They won't have to argue about Rachel getting up too early, or Santana leaving her mess around the kitchen.
They share another look, both women smiling softly at the other.
Rachel tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "Let's get back to work, shall we?"
He falls on his butt for what must be the twentieth time, causing her to fall into another fit of giggles.
Maybe ice skating wasn't the best idea.
But it's just after the New Year and the ice rink in the middle of town is lit up with beautiful decorations, almost looking magical. Of course Rachel wanted to go. And that meant dragging her boyfriend there with her.
She glides over to him easily, holding her hands out to help him up. Finn takes them gratefully, very unstable on his skates. Pushing forward gently, she doesn't let go until he's moving next to her on only slightly wobbly legs, which is much improved from before.
Finn tries clinging onto her so that he doesn't fall again and she squeals loudly, spinning around to face him with a grin on her face.
He's much happier than he has been in the past few weeks, which is obviously putting her in a better mood too.
He manages to catch the toe of his blade on the ice again, stumbling forward before Rachel catches him, shaking her head and laughing gently to herself. He's actually quite hopeless at this whole coordination thing.
But it's okay because she's his hopeless man.
When he tells her that he's going in for another surgery, she almost demands that he doesn't, considering what it did to him last time.
He keeps telling her that it's okay, it's fine.
She gets sick of hearing those words.
She watches with curiosity as his doctor messes with the machine in his ear. It looks like a hearing aid, but she can't exactly be quite sure what it is.
The surgery had been the beginning of this trial, with a final piece of equipment to be used in hopes of the required effect working.
Rachel catches Finn's gaze, seeing the anticipation on his face. He looks nervous, but also excited and is wringing his hands nervously together. She offers a smile of support, showing him that everything is going to be okay, because it is, whether this works or not.
"Right," the doctor begins, altering the settings. "We've just got to make sure that it's at the right pitch."
Her heart is beating so fast and the blood is pumping around her ears. It's difficult to hear herself.
The doctor eyes her, smiling. "Let's turn it on."
She holds her breath, wishing that the anticipation would just go away.
He turns it on, the tiny little switch holding so much power in her life right now. The silence is overwhelming. She stares at Finn.
Is it working? Can he hear?
The doctor goes to say something, but she beats him to it. She's talking before she realizes.
"Finn," she begins, "can you hear me?" Her voice is soft, quiet. And he turns to look at her. "Finn."
His face crumples up as tears begin to fall and she's instantly by his side, rubbing his arm soothingly. It doesn't work. Again. And now he's heartbroken. The tears become full blown sobs, his body his back and forth and she instantly feels the tears coming to her own eyes.
"Oh, Finn," she hears herself say, pity sewn into her voice.
Now his head snaps in her direction, like something alerted him. Almost like he heard her voice. His eyes meet hers, saying things that he can't manage to do right now.
It's working.
That's what he's trying to tell her.
"You can hear me?" she asks again, voice unsure.
And then he nods slowly, pure happiness on his face as he does. Rachel's hands fly to her mouth before she pulls him into the tightest hug possible, placing lots of kisses to his face. She's laughing to herself, her own joy very clear and she swears that Finn smiles at the sound.
Her voice was the first he'd heard in twenty one years.
"I'm glad to see that it's working," the doctor smiles as he watches the couple embrace each other. "Congratulations, Mr. Hudson. You're one lucky man."
Rachel clings onto him, not wanting to let go. It feels like she's in a dream, and she sure hopes that she doesn't wake up. She's never been more elated before, especially considering that she can feel Finn's happiness radiating through too.
This is just… it's amazing and perfect, and it couldn't have happened to a better person.
They adjust the settings on the hearing aid some more until it's at a comfortable level for him.
When he speaks some words, her name first, she cries again. He sounds scared as he tries to speak however, seeing as he hasn't done so in a very long time.
The doctor says that he'll have sessions for that, only for a few weeks, until he's used to it.
For now, they're just going to enjoy the moment.
He can hear.
It takes him a while to adjust, since he finds lots of things to be loud.
He goes to a speech therapist and Rachel helps him too, happy to hear his voice. It's so surreal when he speaks to her and she normally has to remind herself that she isn't dreaming. This is real.
She spends a night introducing him to Broadway, playing each and every soundtrack that she owns which, for the record, is a lot.
But he just smiles and lies down on the bed with her, closing his eyes and listening. She can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon.
There are tears in her eyes. This is it. This is her closing night and her brief date with Broadway will be over. Of course, there'll be other roles out there for her, but she's just grown to love playing Eva Peron for the past few weeks.
She spies Finn in the audience, just like he'd been there for the opening night too.
He cheers for her this time, making noises of encouragement. She clings onto the flowers in her hands and smiles towards her co-stars who are all receiving similar treatments.
Tonight is just perfect.
He joins her outside her dressing room. He's with Santana, her friend pulling a face as he lifts Rachel up to kiss her deeply. "Ew, gross," she says.
"You're just jealous," Rachel tells her happily, her eyes never moving from Finn. "What did you think?" she asks him.
Finn looks down at her proudly. "You were… you were amazing. I love you."
She beams, "I love you too."
He smiles. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."
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