This came to me while I was driving today after probably spending a bit too much time watching fanvids... Anyway. I wondered about what might have happened if Steve had collected Danny at the airport when he returned from New Jersey after Matt's death. So this is a bit AU, although I love the scene that was in the episode and I've tried to keep some of the essence of that in there. I hope you enjoy a different take on it. Now... back to what I was meant to be writing!
Note: I edited this to correct some gorilla/truck confusion regarding Silverbacks and Silverados...
Coming Home
He's grateful, as he wearily makes his way through customs and into the humid heat of the Honolulu arrivals hall, that the familiar rangy figure of his partner is there to meet him. Less grateful perhaps, that he can make out the familiar shape of his own Camaro parked outside, rather than Steve's Silverado, but frankly right now he is too shattered to care.
He's often moaned about wanting to return to New Jersey, but he hadn't ever wanted to make a trip like that. He has spent two weeks trying his damndest to be strong for his mother and sisters in the wake of Matty's death and now he just wants to crawl into a darkened hole with his own grief and guilt and forget that the world exists for a little while.
Maybe Steve senses that, or maybe he's just a damn good friend, but as soon as Danny is clear of the barriers separating them, he finds himself wrapped in a pair of strong, tattooed arms. Just for a moment, he relaxes into the embrace, finally allowing someone else to be strong, if only for a moment. Unwillingly, he finally pulls away before he loses the remaining shreds of control he has and breaks down in the middle of Honolulu International.
"Thanks man," his voice is soft, not the sharp, staccato bursts of New Jersey that Steve is accustomed to.
"No worries, brah," Steve takes Danny's bag, slinging it carelessly over his shoulder before gesturing outside, "Car's out there."
Steve tries not to take too much notice of his partner as they make their way outside. Danny wouldn't like the scrutiny, he knows that, but he can't help the quick inventory that reveals eyes darkened by heavy bags, pale skin and the fact that Danny has lost a few pounds since Steve saw him last. He also can't miss the way that his East Coast partner seems to relax into the embrace of Hawaii's welcoming heat, taking a deep breath of the air, scented with the sweet smell of plumeria from the greeting leis. But overwhelmingly, it's hard to see anything beyond the stillness and silence that feels so abnormal.
The silence persists for a long time, until their direction of travel finally registers with Danno.
"You should'a made a left there," he comments, looking in the vague general direction of his apartment.
"Ah, I thought you could stay at mine tonight," Steve admits, wishing they'd got closer to their destination before his passenger had noted their route.
"Uh, why?"
'Because you look like hell,' Steve wants to tell him frankly, 'and if I leave you in that godforsaken rattrap you call an apartment I feel too damn far away if you decide you don't wanna be alone." And, in all honesty, he has to admit, at least to himself, that he can't really stomach leaving the detective alone the way he looks now.
Instead he shrugs.
"I have beer," he offers instead.
"Listen, that's nice of you Steven, it is, but I've had a long day and an even long two weeks and I just wanna sleep, so if you could drop me at your place then I'll get out of your hair." The words are right, but they lack the argumentative fire that so often makes Steve grin, even when it really shouldn't.
Steve plays his ace.
"I promised Gracie."
Danno sighs, knowing when he is beaten. There isn't a lot that either of them wouldn't do for his little girl.
"Ok, ok," he acquiesces, "but I'm gonna need some stuff."
"All taken care of."
"Of course it is," but there's no rancour in his words.
They pull up at the house ten minutes later, Steve leaves Danny in the sitting room while he goes to locate the promised Longboards. On his return the room is empty and he feels a momentary thrill of panic until he spots the lone figure, out on the beach, staring across the waves.
For a moment he hesitates, unsure of what to do, before quietly slipping out on to the lanai and slowly making his way across the grass.
"Beautiful evening," he comments, trying not to startle his friend.
Danny says nothing, just continues to stare out over the waves, breathing in the salt air. He can feel his shredded nerves beginning to settle, and he wonders just when it happened that he needed the sound of the ocean to feel calm.
"I missed this," he admitted finally, in almost a whisper, "feels good to be back."
"Yeah?" Steve asks, wanting to draw him into conversation without pushing too hard, "Even if we put pineapple on our pizza?"
That raises half a smile from the other man.
"I didn't miss that," he clarifies, "I actually managed to get a half decent slice back at Mom's."
Steve mentally notes that he says Mom's rather than home but doesn't draw attention to it, although inwardly he smiles, as he drops down into his favourite wooden chair, gesturing for Danny to join him.
"How was it?" he asks solemnly, "How are your folks?"
Danny shakes his head, trying to dispel the memories that are still far too close.
"They're..." he clears his throat, "they're not good. Mom she's walking around like a zombie, Dad he's putting a brave face on it but," he drops his face into his hands, "they're a mess Steve. They're a mess and its..."
"Whoah, whoah, whoah," Steve moves fast, in seconds he's in Danny's eyeline, "This is not your fault Danny. You hear me?"
"If I stopped him getting on that plane..." he trails off, "he'd be in prison, but that's better than in a," his voice breaks and the tears begin to fall, "than in a barrel right?"
Steve wraps his arms around the broken man, feeling muscles tensed like steel, quivering at the effort of trying to hold in a tidal wave of sorrow. "Don't do that to yourself man, don't go down that road of second guessing. I did that... I did it with my old man, with Freddy, but the truth is, I couldn't change what happened."
He feels Danny's grip tighten, but he doesn't move, just stays there, offering his support until the sobs lessen and they are both cramped and stiff.
"You wanna go inside?" he asks eventually, "I can order some dinner? Maybe watch a game?"
Danny shakes his head as he settles back in to his seat with a grimace and a sigh.
"You mind if maybe we sit here a bit longer?" he can feel his heart, than has been racing for too long, beginning to slow to the rhythm of the island, the sound of the waves a comforting thrum that he hadn't realised he depended on until it was replaced with the frenetic roar of traffic, "I really did miss this."
He turns grateful eyes to his friend, not wanting to stray too far down the line of sentimentality, lest he break down again.
"I missed you too," he acknowledges, with a tip of his beer bottle, "just so you know."
Steve smiles gently, recognising the thanks even though it goes unspoken.
"I wish I could have come buddy," he admits, "I wanted..." he struggles for a moment to find the right words, "You needed a friend. I wanted to be it and I'm sorry I didn't have your back this time."
Danno smiles.
"Oh babe," and Steve smiles at the endearment, "You always do."
Together, they stare out over the sea, long after the sun has sunk below the horizon.