There was more than enough to keep Merlin awake: the sound of the fire dying and crackling between him and Arthur, the incessant bubbling of hope in his chest at the thought that Arthur used magic, the lingering fear that Arthur wouldn't return from the spirit world, the paralyzing terror at the flashback of Arthur walking into the bright light so closely paralleled to Lancelot leaving him.
Needless to say, Merlin had plenty to keep him up. But it was none of these things that kept Merlin from sleep. It was the relentless tink and clang of Arthur's chainmail, the rustle of his tunic, and the little huffs and sighs he let out as he tossed and turned, the ground beneath him crunching under his movements.
"Arthur?"
The rustling stopped and a single, drawn out sigh was heard. Arthur's voice was terse, "What, Merlin? Couldn't sleep? Afraid of the dark?"
Merlin rolled his eyes, letting the jab roll off his back.
"Is this about what Uther said?"
The sigh and uncomfortable shift from Arthur was a resounding 'yes' even as Arthur gritted out a stern, "No. Now go to sleep."
He narrowed his eyes and replied, "Well, I would go to sleep but someone doesn't know how to sit still. Honestly, Arthur, I thought you were supposed to be stealthy."
The air seemed to go out of Arthur then, just as it always did when he was ready to finally talk to Merlin, even if it was in the confines of the darkened forest. Arthur's voice was hesitant and Merlin could faintly see the outline of his body, his hands rubbing nervously along his chest as if seeking comfort from touch.
"What if my father's right, Merlin? What if I'm ruining Camelot?" There was a pause and more rustling. The dying embers cast a faint light and shadow across Arthur's face as he turned towards Merlin. His voice quiet and pensive, "What if I'm not good enough to be king?"
Merlin felt a renewed surge of hatred for Uther, his magic crackling at the surface at the thought of Uther hurting Arthur even now from beyond the grave. His voice was strong and firm, a reassurance and a lifeline for Arthur to cling on to, "You are the king Camelot needs. Your kingdom has flourished and thrived where Uther's withered."
Arthur looked at him, eyes searching and desperate. "Well, I'll be sure to rest easy on the reassurances of a servant, Merlin. Thanks."
Merlin rolled his eyes. Typical Arthur, deflect, deflect, deflect. Well, he couldn't lose Arthur to Uther again, couldn't let Arthur slip and fall down the same slope of anti-magic and tyranny.
He stood up, brushing the leaves and dirt off his backside, and approached Arthur sitting beside him, knees brushing his hip. Arthur was still lying prone, watching Merlin warily even as his friend loomed over him.
Merlin was looking at him with such gentleness, such affection, it stole Arthur's breath away. He felt his cheeks flushed with shame when he thought of how badly he craved Merlin's affection, Merlin's reassurances.
A single hand came to rest on Arthur's forehead, thumb rubbing soothing circles on Arthur's temple and his own cool skin soothing Arthur's flushed forehead.
His voice was soft but sure, "You have the mind of a great king, Arthur. You strategize and think about the consequences of yours and others' actions. It is the mark of a great leader."
His hand traveled from his forehead to trace the shell of Arthur's ear. The king's body tensed and Arthur felt himself lean into Merlin's hand.
"You listen to others and value their opinion. You treat all who wish to speak to you with the utmost respect. It is the mark of a great leader."
The single finger trailed from Arthur's ear, down the curve of his jaw, and rested on his lips, drawing a sharp gasp and shudder from Arthur. "You speak well. Your voice carries great authority and those who hear it listen well."
His hand left Arthur's lips and trailed down his throat, dragging across the cool chain mail that had been warmed from the fire. Arthur's voice was shaky and breathless, "Merlin, I hardly think this is appropri-"
But Merlin silenced him with a glare, hand clutching at the material above Arthur's heart. He continued, eyes locked with his king's, ensuring that he was listening, taking in every word.
"You have the heart of the bravest knight in Camelot. Your courage surpasses all. You race headfirst into danger-whether you should or not, might I add-to right a wrong. You have the greatest capacity to love, Arthur." Merlin's thumb and fingers clenched at the fabric above Arthur's heart, the heat of his hand warming through.
"You care for your people, you care for Gwen, you care for your knights, and Gaius, and those whom you do not know. The courage and love you have, Arthur, it's incredible. It is a mark of a great leader."
Merlin continued his journey, his hand moving down so that it was encapsulating thick muscle. He shot Arthur a smile and rolled his eyes, "Not to inflate your ego, but you have the strength to carry Camelot and its people on your shoulders. You know of your fighting prowess." He felt his lips twitch upwards, "It is the mark of a great leader."
His hand moved to carry on when a gloved hand snatched it up. Arthur's voice was shaky and he cradled Merlin's hand to his chest. "Please. Stop, Merlin. I-I can't..."
Merlin sighed and laid down next to his king, pressed along his side and his hand firmly on Arthur's chest.
His voice was low and comforting in Arthur's ear, "You have the love of your people and the trust of your manservant." He bumped his forehead to Arthur's jaw in a gesture of affection. "It is the mark of a great leader."
Arthur chuckled and nuzzled the side of his jaw against Merlin's head, "Go to sleep, Merlin."
Merlin smirked and nodded but Arthur made no move to let Merlin go so Merlin did not leave him.
The fire finally died out, casting them in perfect and complete darkness. Arthur shifted next to him, slipping a leg between Merlin's so that his body fit more snugly. Merlin had much to think about, but Arthur was not one of them when he was so close to his body. As both men settled into one another and Merlin's eyes were heavy with sleep, just as he was drifting off, he could have sworn he heard, "Thank you, Merlin."
He sighed sleepily and nuzzled deeper into Arthur's chest.
Humility was the sign of a pretty great leader, as well.