Chink in His Armor

by Cielo Rouge

A misunderstanding several years ago. A socialite event. Her confused heart. His broken one. All come together in one night. He must act before it's too late. "She said she wanted to talk to you before ... before..." My entry for the Dior Rob contest.

Disclaimer: Twilight obviously isn't mine. I only own some philosophical analyses.

A/N: Hello, I'm Cielo Rouge, and this is my first story (though not the first story I've written), as well as my first try at writing lemons. I hope I didn't screw up.

This is also my entry for the fantabulous Dior Rob contest, and even though CiHA (what? I nicknamed my own story) didn't get to win any awards, I'm still happy for my story. The people over there made banners for everyone in the contest (which is awesome!) and link is on my profile for the CiHA banner.

I'd like to thank Sara (who dealt with all my craziness and taught me how to use GDoc!) and Ragna S (who came to my aid a few hours before the deadline) from EBS for all the help with this little story. They're awesome betas, I tell you. And to my RL friend (who won't probably see this and now knows one of my deepest secret) Jamaine for pre-reading.

That's it. Sorry for the long introduction. Enjoy!

I drove around the city, the sun setting behind me. Still, I kept my shades on because fuck, if the paparazzi spotted me driving instead of celebrating with my perfect parents, that would earn me another round of reprimanding from said parents and the irritating herd. I'd had enough of them.

Plus, I couldn't see her yet.

The wheel strayed a little to the left but I quickly repositioned it before I could get into more trouble. I didn't think of her much these days. Well, I tried not to. Every mention or sight of her brought chills to me, which never happened with anyone ever. That just proved how strongly she owned me.

Not that I was fighting it. I didn't even attempt to when I knew I'd fallen for her thirteen years ago. We had practically grown up together since our fathers worked side by side. People once thought we were siblings because of how close we were. She was my best friend, though. A loyal and caring best friend.

She was simply the best. Her beauty, her charm, and her personality enchanted me like no one else ever had. Her wit surpassed mine every time; it was almost embarrassing for my father to know I was beaten by a girl. But as long as it was her, I knew I could lose anytime. There were times I did on purpose. She always called me on it with a scowl on her beautiful face.

At a young age, I knew deep down that she was the one. But remembering her now made the anger and bitterness resurface. The feelings I had tried to bury after that happened...

Like I said, I'd tried to forget about her. My life had taken turns I never considered before. When I left for the University of Pennsylvania—a different institution than what I'd intended for; she and I had planned on Harvard, but of course, I didn't want to run in to her there when she'd finally started college—I'd slept around, partied until dawn, and drank heavily. Still, I kept my work up to standard or else the media or my parents would notice. I'd have to switch schools or come home if that had happened. Thankfully, I managed to graduate, though not with flying colors, much to my parents' disappointment, and received my diploma in business administration. I'd been present this time for graduation.

However, I'd realized that I felt shittier than I did four years before. My ways of... distraction did not really free me from the nightmares or, more importantly, from her. Instead, it had only made me miss and want her more. I could see that from the brunettes and brown-eyed women I had been with.

So I decided to change course. I finally listened to my parents' advice about setting up my own business in the heart of Chicago. I busied myself with work. Though I didn't like to think of it that way, my father's connections made my job easier, and investors pursued me and not the other way around. Now, I supported and lived separately from my family.

But that didn't mean they had stopped dictating my life.

Ever since my father became a senator, the Masen family had to adjust and live up to society's expectations. Mother started to participate in charity work every night. We all had to be busy. As the only child, the political circles—or the herd as I liked to call those pestering goats—expected me to follow my father's footsteps. I made it clear early on that I had no intention of doing so.

Honestly, politics disgusted me. I'd seen everything since I was young. The whole thing was an antiquated version of society; powerful elites drinking expensive liquor as they exchanged obviously fake pleasantries and discussed national problems that never seemed to lessen. In fact, more than half of them badmouthed each other on the other's back, and some even took it too far with murder for a political position. These stupid goats were truly un-fucking-believable.

Not including my very diplomatic father, though. He had the country's best interests at heart, and I was not saying that because he was family. He was a charming, witty, and respected man. My parents were perfect compared to me, the son who fucked up, hence the reason I chose not to attend Father's event.

God, I guessed I was getting better at distracting myself from further thoughts of ... her.

I was nearing my condo unit when my phone rang. I groaned when I saw who it was. It seemed like skipping tonight was wishful thinking.

"Hello, Mother," I greeted warmly. I opted for innocence. "How are you and Father?"

"I'll tell you how I am, Edward Anthony!" my mother answered in a heated voice. "I am beyond furious because I was just told that my only son is not coming to in this gala tonight. Do you have any idea how many times these people have asked where you are? Or how Charlie had to cover for you when it came to your speech? Do you?"

"Whoa, Mother, one question at a time." I smiled even though she couldn't see it. "Shoot, is Father's gala tonight? I completely forgot! And I'm in a meeting," I said, making my voice sound like I really forgot.

Mother huffed on the other end. "Don't pretend, Edward. I called your secretary after you left this afternoon. She said you didn't have anything scheduled tonight. So, would you like to explain why you are not here?"

What the hell? Since when did my mother know my secretary's number? I shook that thought away, because only God knew the extent of my family's connections. "Look, Mom, I'm not feeling well tonight. I just want to go home and rest."

"She's here, you know."

Shit! I almost lost control of the car and took a deep breath. "Of course she's there. Charlie is there, right?" I couldn't talk about this anymore. I'd had enough of her today. "Mother, I'm really sorry, but—"

"She's looking for you."

And just like that, I was back to being a lovesick teenager, focusing on the fact that maybe there was hope. But there was no hope. She'd chosen who she wanted. I pushed the feeling down.

Mother continued when I didn't reply, speaking softly, "She said she wanted to talk to you before ..." she sighed deeply before saying, "Before she got engaged."

"SHE'S WHAT?!" I exclaimed, aghast. I pulled over into the nearest parking lot I could find. My voice reverberated in the car, and I slumped over my seat as despair ran through me. No, this couldn't be happening. Even though she had done almost the same thing to me before, this was different. Marriage ... She would be gone. Forever.

"What's wrong with that?" She seemed genuinely surprised at my outburst. "She's of legal age. She's–"

"She's twenty-four, Mother. She just graduated from law school! How can she get married? Fuck!" I hoped she hadn't noticed how I was aware of those facts.

"Edward!" Mother chastised. "Charlie getting older, darling. He wants her to be safe with someone he approves of. He–"

Again, I cut her off. "He wantsher to be safe with someone he approves of?" I snorted. "That's bullshit!"

"Edward!" she said again. "What is wrong with you? You weren't like this before." But I understood the real meaning behind her words. What had happened between us to change me so much? To create this situation? I wished I could tell her, but even I didn't know how to phrase the answer.

I made a snap decision. "I'm coming over. Where are you, Mother?" I asked, my voice tight.

Mother sighed again. "Darling, you're right. You must be tired — you should head home."

"No, I've made my decision," I said, pulling out and going into the direction away from my unit. "I'm coming to see her."

"Okay, dear. We're at Le Crépuscule. I'll see you in a minute. Calm down and drive safely, okay?" Mom pleaded.

"Okay," I replied but wasn't sure if I really meant it.

As I drove, I pondered my impending meeting with her. Was I right to see her — to finally talk to her after seven years without any form of contact? Could I face her? Questions surged forward and threatened to overwhelm me.

They already overwhelmed me. When I was about a block away, I took a U-turn and circled the block once—okay, twice—before heading there. Yes, I knew it was a pathetic attempt to stall, but who could blame me? I was nervous as hell.

Sooner than I liked, I arrived at Le Crépuscule. I didn't remember handing my keys to the valet or being welcomed by the staff of the hotel. Hell. I almost forgot that we owned the place.

Mother came out of one of the elevators, bronze hair in a twist on top of her head and wearing a long green formal dress with sparkling stones embedded on the edges. She gave a relieved cry when she spotted me. "Thank goodness you're here, darling!" I kissed her on the cheek in greeting. "Come on up and enjoy the party. Good grief, you do look worn out," she exclaimed when she had finally taken a good look at me. Fuck. Did I really look that bad? I needed a drink. "Angela!" she called for her trusted right hand.

Swift as the wind, Angela appeared at her side. "Yes, Mrs. Masen. Are there any problems with the event, Madam?"

"No, no, I just need you to bring food for Edward." She smiled then looked at me. "You've missed dinner. The guests are all dancing already."

I wanted to tell her that food was not really appreciated at the moment because of the odd things somersaulting in my stomach. All I could do was nod.

"Yes, Madam. We'll find a spare room and bring in food right away."

"Oh no, he can eat up there. Just be quick. Oh, and add more servers."

"Yes, Madam."

"Very well. Edward — what in the world are you wearing, by the way?" My mother asked, stunned.

I looked down and realized I was underdressed. At work, I never liked wearing suits. And since I owned the fucking company, I had worn a black turtleneck shirt with a camel colored wool overcoat and black slacks. With the temperature dropping every hour, I was glad I had my coat

"I, uh, didn't have time to change," I admitted sheepishly. "I was still in the car when you called."

She tsked and looked irritated. "And the one time your father didn't bring any extra clothes," she muttered. "Guess that'll do. You still look smart, at least. And handsome." She grinned up at me while I rolled my eyes.

We made our way to the elevator, and she pressed the button for the twentieth floor. Ah, the ballroom. Of course, my parents had invited over five hundred people to their gala.

In the elevator, I put my hands in my coat pockets and tried to think of what I was about to say. Why I hadn't thought of this earlier in the car failed me. But there was no time for chastisement or anxiety attacks. Because in less than a minute, I would see her. Shit.

I saw my mother look at me from the corner of my eye. She probably knew, from her,of course, that this would be the first time we'd seen each other in years. She grasped my arm fiercely, as if saying, "It's okay, darling. I'm here for you." How I freaking wished I could borrow my mother's unrelenting strength. Having twenty shots of tequila was better than this.

When I saw the number nineteen flash above the elevator door, I knew I had to accomplish one thing. It was buried deep down, and it was no good denying it anymore.

I wanted to mend the break between her and me. I wanted to go back to that familiar and easy relationship we had before. I longed to see her smile and hear her laugh. I wanted to listen to her rant about how gender and racial inequality still exist today. I craved those moments when everything seemed to revolve around us. Fuck. I sounded cheesy, but it was the truth.

I would face my ... insecurities. Yeah, that was the real issue here. I was afraid that she had realized there were better options out there than me. Especially when that ... thing happened.

My mind took off in a darker direction when the elevator dinged and opened. Why was I hoping for reconciliation with her? Why did I think that she might see me as her savior, a knight in shining armor perhaps, from an unwanted marriage? Fuck. What if she wanted to marry the guy?

I might be hoping that we'd go back to being friends. But no, that would hurt far worse.

So what was I doing here?

I wanted to flee again, like I had done seven years ago. But Mother's arm anchored me in place, and there were the press waiting to ambush us in the waiting room. I faked a smile and nodded along with whatever my mother was saying, throwing in appropriate comments like "That's right" and "I agree" and smiling when they wanted a picture. Actually, I thought my smile felt more like the grimace of someone who got kicked in the balls.

It. Was. Fucking. Torture. My father's achievements reminded me yet again of my fucked up-ness. Seriously, how pathetic was I?

However, I was grateful for the distraction. It diverted my attention from the main reason I was here. The press soon ran out of things to talk about, and I had the desperate urge to pull them back and answer more of their seemingly endless questions. Or maybe just chat with them. God, I was that desperate.

"You okay, Edward?" Mother asked. "Don't worry. The food's coming soon." She smiled, and I wanted to burst into tears.

Like the gentleman I was raised—I mentally snorted; yeah right, I lost that title in college—I opened the door, letting my mother pass through first. I glanced around the room. The large hall was brightly lit by the large chandelier in the middle of the ceiling. The tables and chairs were on the sides as the people all congregated in the middle to dance to whatever the band was playing. I stared incredulously at the ice sculpture on the left side, which was molded to look like a ten-foot version of my father. I pretended to admire like it was the most marvelous object in the world. Again, I knew I was delaying the inevitable.

When I glanced to my right, my mother was gone. Great. Thanks for the support, Mother. I walked towards the terrace outside where I could see solemn-looking old men drinking and talking. No woman was in sight, making it the perfect nineteenth century setting.

I went to a corner, leaning back against the railing, and faced the room inside. It was dark outside, which made the hall shine brightly. I scanned every face, paying close attention to dark-haired women.

One of the old men spotted me, and I groaned inwardly as he tried to engage me in conversation. I politely answered some questions, but my focus was still inside the hall. Thankfully, the old goats backed off and left me after they realized I wasn't in the mood to converse. Or maybe they freaked out when I distractedly said "that's great" when I thought I caught the words plenty, back, markets — which I realized was plenty black markets. Jeez, it wasn't my fault their voices were too wheezy for me to understand.

That was when I heard it. Her laughter. Her voice.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. It had been a long time since I'd last heard those sounds. And I truly missed them. Her. I snapped my eyes open and searched the room.

I saw her—never more beautiful than at that moment—wearing a black dress that ended a few inches above her knees. Her mahogany hair was in a ponytail, and on her feet were low heeled pumps. I repressed a smile. Only she was afraid of death by wearing heels.

As I looked at her, I could finally say her name. "Bella."

She was standing a little far from the terrace, but outside the circle of people in the middle. She held a glass of champagne and was craning her neck. My foot ached to inch forward, but it wouldn't.

Bella turned around, her back to me, and I saw a brown-haired man go to her and bend to kiss her cheek. I froze, now remembering her soon-to-be "fiancé" and feeling insanely jealous. My hand twitched when he put an arm around her waist. I desperately wanted to get an axe from the In Case of Emergency panels on the wall I'd spotted by the elevator and tear his arm away from her body.

I studied the guy instead. He was decent looking and looked about a foot shorter than me. He seemed genuinely concerned by whatever Bella was saying. And after a minute when Bella's shoulders started to shake, he hugged her.

I glared at him, feeling extreme anger course through my body. I put my hands in my coat pockets, afraid that they might connect to his jaw. To an innocent onlooker, I might look like someone hunched over because of the cold weather and not a man who was plotting murder.

I tore my eyes away and hastily left the terrace. I looked at my feet as I walked over to the door — I might have stepped on someone's foot, but it didn't matter. I ignored the fucking press and jabbed my finger on the elevator button.

Once inside, I pressed number twelve. My hands formed into fists, and I wanted to punch something, anything. But I reined my anger in or else my family would suffer the consequences. I let out my frustrations by pacing instead until the door opened again, and I set my way along the dark corridors and towards the large door at the far end. I pushed it open and finally let out a long scream. I kicked at the white plastic lounge chairs, and they toppled over. I punched the cemented walls once, twice, more than five times until my right hand was swollen and bleeding.

I crouched down and leaned against the wall, staring at the only place I knew that held no security cameras. I gazed at the long Olympic-sized pool, entranced by the rippling water and the glow coming from the lights under the water.

"Shit!" The pain in my hand was no longer bearable, and it hurt so badly. I stood up and turned on one of the overhead lights. Then I stripped down to my white undershirt, not bothering with the slacks. I removed my shoes and socks with one hand and righted one of the chairs I'd kicked to place my clothes, phone and wallet on it.

I took a deep breath and dove in. The water was not that cold, which I was thankful for. I resurfaced and gasped for breath, looking at my now numb hand. It was swollen, but I ignored it and decided to do some laps to release some more stress. I swam freestyle on the first lap, then breaststroke on the second. Then I switched to backstroke.

I stopped and let myself float supine on the water. I held on to the gutter with my feet so I wouldn't stray, closed my eyes, and tried to relax.

"You are very good."

I was so startled by the sound that I flopped like a fish for a second before I was upright and staring at the her.

"Bella?"

Bella stood beside the white lounge chair holding my clothes with a tentative smile on her face. "What are you doing here?" I said awkwardly. Damn, first time talking with her after all this time, and I was in a pool.

"I saw you leave. I wish I had seven years ago," she continued softly. Her tone was tentative and mildly accusing.

Fuck. And here I thought we were not going to address the elephant in the room right away. Good thing I had calmed down a bit after those seven laps. I could think through without anger-driven responses.

"I missed your birthday." I found myself saying softly. "Belated happy birthday."

She blinked, her face softening, and gave me a small smile. "Thank you. Though I wished you'd been around for the last seven of my birthdays," she said, referring to the elephant once again.

I moved toward the edge and placed my hands on it to use as leverage to get out. I stopped when Bella walked towards me and crouched in front of me. I looked into her expressive brown eyes, and she stared back.

Using her hands, she removed her heels. After that, she sat on the edge of the pool and let her feet soak in the water, resting her hands on the tile behind her and leaning back. We never broke eye contact. I felt a certain sense of completion; like I had finally found the thing I was unknowingly looking for. A reunion, perhaps. She looked like a temptress as she sat there.

With about two feet between us, she whispered quietly, all serious, "So why did you leave without a word the night of my junior prom, Edward?"

I averted my gaze from her as I answered, taking my hands back from the edge and crossing them in front of me. I was looking at my feet in the water, as if it was the first time I'd seen them, and replied, "You were busy with someone else. That was why you didn't notice."

"I was what?" I heard her say in a confused tone. "Edward, what are you talking about? You left, and I never understood why," she said, exasperated. "I was waiting for you to pick me up. I was at home, trying so hard to calm my nerves because I'd have the most sought after guy in school as my date. I was so happy that my best friend didn't abandon me, but," I glanced up when she paused, only to see her watery eyes. "I was wrong. You did." Her tears fell, and she hastily wiped them with the palm of her right hand.

Throughout her speech, I felt a myriad of emotions; disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness. But I stood my ground and opened my mouth to tell her the reason why.

"I abandoned you?" My tone was disbelieving and incredulous. "Bella, you were the first to leave," I almost shouted. Bella's face was a mixture of fear and surprise. Hell. Even I was surprised at my outburst. I also got the weird feeling we were acting like a quarreling couple in a chick flick. I took another deep breath and decided that the best way to get through this was to rip the bandage off. Quickly. Ouch.

"Before I left the house, I got a call from Jessica, informing me that you agreed to go to prom with her brother. Not me, him." I felt like an idiot as I repeated and emphasized that. "Of course, I didn't instantly believe her. I drove to your house, confused, and that's when I saw you on your porch, kissing Mike. It… infuriated me. More so when you dragged him with you inside the house. And, I don't know, I was hurt; I wasn't thinking clearly. I said to myself that if Mike fucking Newton was who you wanted to be with…then fine. Before I knew it, I was on the plane to Philadelphia, not caring about the things I left behind, even graduation," I said, a little surprised at how composed my voice seemed to be when inside, I was a mess. I looked into her eyes and tried to convey my feelings, the pain and betrayal, through my gaze. A tiny part of me whispered that I had no right to be angry because, hell, I wasn't her boyfriend then. Or now. Or ever. I quickly shushed my thoughts.

She sat up straighter while I spoke and gaped at me, frozen and looking almost like she wasn't breathing. Then she exclaimed, "Fuck!"

I was a little surprised to hear an expletive from this always prim and proper woman, but her reaction registered in my brain. She was shocked that I had seen that. My heart, broken as it already was, broke once more into a million pieces, and I clenched my hands into fists. "Bella, you should have told me about it," I said tightly. "You should ha—"

"No, Edward," she cut off quickly. "Stop, okay? Whatever is in your head, you're wrong." I shut my mouth, and she buried her face in her hands. "That son of a bitch," she mumbled to her hands.

"Bella, really," I tried stubbornly, "I under—"

"NO, EDWARD!" she exclaimed angrily. I recoiled slightly. Yep, I deserved it. "You didn't understand. You don't understand. I will make this clear before you misunderstand again. I did not kiss Mike Newton that night. Nor any other night before or after that," she said firmly. I opened my mouth and she said sharply, "Shut it, Masen! I'm not done yet. What really happened was that douchebag Mike came around when I was on the front porch waiting for you. He said that you told him to pick me up and take me to prom instead. I refused to go with him, because I saw the way he and his sister Jessica look at us at lunch, and it wasn't good. He grabbed hold of me and asked me—demanded, really—why I preferred you over him. Then he put his mouth on mine. Gah, that still makes me sick."

She shuddered. I wanted to shudder with her, but I was too numb to speak. "I pushed him off me and took him to the house, planning to scare him off with—I didn't know, I wasn't thinking—Charlie's gun since he and Renee weren't home. The jerk thought differently, of course. Imagine his expression when I turned around and held the gun to his face. He took off faster than he came in." She stopped her story while I let everything sink in.

My brain recalled the events of that night, now with different eyes. I'd left after I saw them go into the house, so I didn't see Newton leave. As I realized the stupidest mistake of my life, I looked at Bella's face and stared. I didn't know what expression was on my face. I prayed it wasn't that kicked-in-the-balls expression.

Finally, I said, "So that means I…." I trailed off, not coming up with the exact words to express what I was feeling. Misunderstood? Incorrectly assumed? Fucked up badly? Again? My mind went ahead of me and ticked off many other terms.

"Yes, you did. You left because you thought I ditched you," she said slowly, answering my incomplete question. The she gave a melancholy laugh.

Oh hell. This was great, Masen. Just great.

"Bella," I started as I closed the space between us and stood in front of her. Well, while still in the pool. My hands rested on either side of her. "I-I'm sorry," I said, infusing my voice with apology. "I know that's not enough for the seven years I ignored you. Shit. Seven years!" I exclaimed as that fact sank in — very quick on my part, really. I had never felt worse in my entire life. I righted my wits to apologize for my inexcusable behavior. "I was wrong on so many accounts. I understand if you don't forgive me right away, because I'm the worst jackass in the world. But, Bella, can you find it in you to forgive me?" Her eyes, which had closed after her laughing, snapped open to meet mine.

She gazed down at me, still not saying anything, but I could see the conflicting emotions in her eyes. "For being an impulsive idiot? Yes, I forgive you. But for not trusting me… I don't know." She bit her lip as she averted her gaze. "Really, Edward, you shouldn't have run off like that. You scared me. And that just showed how little you trust me."

And how little I trusted us… wait, there wasn't an "us" yet. Damn it, Masen!

"I know. I'm sorry," I said again. "I really am. You don't know how I feel about myself right now."

"There it is again." She smiled as she touched my face with her hand. I marveled at the softness and silkiness of her palm on my stubble. "You think so little of me. I think I've spent enough time with you to know how much of an over-thinker you can be. Remember your freshman year, when you memorized every word in your history book the first day of classes?" She grinned at me.

I grinned back. "I was afraid there would be a pop quiz or something," I said defensively. "I wanted to be class valedictorian again. My obsessive compulsive tendencies couldn't take it." Oooh, great times.

"Yes, yes, you and your disorder." She smirked. Suddenly, her features became serious, and I was afraid I'd done or said something idiotic again. "And because of that, I knew you would always regret what happened between us. So, Edward, I forgive you. For everything."

I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arms around her torso and hugged her. She squealed at the wetness of my arms but placed her hands on top of my head. This woman was totally amazing. Her kindness never ceased to blow me away.

"I don't deserve you," I murmured to her belly. She smelled heavenly and… womanly, like flowers. Me? I reeked of chlorine for sure. I pitied Bella at the moment.

"Now hold it right here, Mister." She grasped at my shoulders and pushed me away from her. For a second, I thought it was the chlorine that pushed her to… push me. "Here we go again with the 'I don't deserve you, Bella'. I've heard this countless of times from you before. A friend never thinks like that."

"It's the truth," I responded. And she proved it again and again and again and again. And again.

She sighed then looked down at me with sparkling eyes. "You know who's undeserving?" she questioned playfully. I was about to raise my hand when she continued, "Me. I got to see you swim when nobody else does!" I snorted and poked her side. She laughed loudly, and just like that, it felt like we were back when things were perfect between us. As friends, I mean — note the disappointment. "Oh, maybe not," she continued, a crease forming on her forehead. My eyes widened. Did she hear my thoughts? "Maybe your girlfriend had seen you already before, huh," she teased half-heartedly, her eyes tight.

"Huh?" I said too. "What girlfriend?"

She bit her lip nervously. "I, uh, went to Philadelphia after you left and saw you with a girl. She was beautiful, by the way." She smiled strangely.

"You what?" I almost shouted, which made her eyes widen. I hastily backed away—which was a complicated thing to do in a pool, I might add—and her hands dropped to the water. God, did she see me with one of those girls, wild and drunk, looking more like a junkie than a senator's son? "Why didn't you — fuck"—I paused to exhale sharply—"you shouldn't have done that!" Why, oh, why weren't things like memory-losing pills invented? I started thinking of doing that cool jab thing to the neck, like in the movies, to her, but I might kill Bella in the process.

Her eyes narrowed. "I was only concerned for you. You left with no apparent reason. I wanted an answer, but you weren't answering my calls or my messages."

My hand gripped the coarse gutter to my left tightly as I shook my head. "It didn't matter. You still shouldn't have done that." Behind the anger, I was mortified, though. Ashamed for the all fuckery I'd done that she could have seen. And I proclaimed to love her? I wanted to chuckle bitterly or, better, to drown myself in this pool.

I could probably die by the deathly glare she was giving me, though. "Well, fuck you for not wanting me to care!" she spat, scrambling to her feet. I moved towards her again and held her legs in place. And I had to exercise control when I felt the heat coming from her… heat.

"Bella," I said firmly, my eyes blazing. I wanted to say, "I was thinking of you when I was with those girls," but she might be the one doing that neck jab to me. "Let's settle this once and for all." She turned her head to the side as her shoulders shook. Then I heard a gasp of breath and sniffling. "Are you crying?" I asked in alarm. Great, I made my girl cry again.

Your girl? Masen, please.

"No," she wailed.

"Bella, please look at me," I begged. She did not reply or even heed me. I reached up and took her face in my hands. Slowly, I turned it towards me, and I felt guilty for losing my patience and shouting at her like a maniac. "I'm sorry if I scared you, but you have to know that you misunderstood, too. There is no girlfriend."

"What was she to you then?" she mumbled.

I hesitated. "A… friend."

"Didn't sound like it." Uh, oh. Warning bells. "I actually, um, got into your dorm house," she confessed without looking at me.

And for the hundredth time today… fuck me.

I closed my eyes. Well, this was what I got for fucking around. "I was trying to forget you," I admitted quickly. Hell. That sounded right, Masen. Just right. "Thinking about you with Newton was difficult, so I slept around, did things I'd never done, in a pathetic attempt to forget you. I know this is another one on the list of things proving my stupidity. But you have to know, Bella," I said imploringly, "you have to know that I've never cared for anyone as I care for you."

She stiffened and looked me in the eye again with unfathomable emotions.

"I've had enough explanations to last me a lifetime. This time I will say it outright." I took a deep breath before saying, "I love you. For the last nineteen years of my life, I have adored and fallen for you."

There was a new batch of tears trickling from her eyes. She sobbed into her hand, and I feared I had pushed the limits. Then I remembered her fiancé. Shit! She was getting married.

And you just confessed your love to her after admitting to fooling around. Double shit!

I bowed slightly and released her face from the cage of my hands as I accepted the fact that my feelings were not reciprocated and that we were not for each other. At least something good happened tonight. I was able to clear things up with her. I wondered if I was going to be one of the testifiers of the phrase, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I started imagining myself on TV, relating my experience to a faceless host.

Suddenly, I felt a weight descend upon me and lost my balance, plunging down into the water. When I resurfaced, choking and sputtering, I realized it was Bella, clutching me tightly as we both stood in the pool.

"What?" I asked in confusion as I cupped a hand to the back of her head.

Then I was surprised when I felt lips descend upon mine. Bella kissed me with so much fervor, and I returned it with the same intensity. I'd been dying to do this for a long time. Finally, after twenty-six years, I knew the feel of her soft pink lips on mine. Her mouth parted, and I took that as a sign, my tongue dancing with hers.

We finally broke apart, gasping heavily. I rested my forehead to hers as we tried to control our breathing.

"Edward," she gasped after a while. "Of course, I love you too. I've loved you since we were kids. I don't know when exactly, but I knew it even before you asked me to the prom, even before you gave me those chaste kisses on the forehead and cheek. I was only waiting for you. I thought showing you, giving you my attention, was enough, but I guess I was wrong." Her face held so much sadness as she was, I was sure, reminded of the mishap that had driven a wedge between us.

Even though her words had me flying in joy, I interrupted her, "But, Bella, what about your engagement?"

To my great surprise a blush bloomed on her cheeks. "I think it's my turn to apologize." She bit her lower lip. "I lied about that. There was no engagement. I thought maybe if you heard that I was getting engaged, you'd finally see me. And it worked." She grinned. "But I'm sorry for tricking you."

I shook my head but couldn't help feeling relieved that she was not going to get married after all. "Then who's that brown-haired guy I saw with you at the gala earlier, if it's not your soon-to-be fiancé?"

She giggled. "Alec? Oh, you shouldn't worry about him," she assured me with a smile. "If you observed more closely, you'll see how he's checking out the gents and not the ladies." She laughed at my stunned expression. "You definitely need to learn to observe more closely, Mister. You're getting into too much trouble," she teased.

I hummed. "Maybe I need a mind-reading power so I can avoid any other misunderstandings."

Bella laughed. "Maybe."

I hummed again, feeling light and happy that there were no problems, no misunderstanding between us anymore. Finally! I captured her lips with mine again, sucking at her bottom lip gently. Yep, I was a kissing monster.

"You've never kissed me on the lips," she whispered breathlessly. "I always dreamed of you doing it." Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink after that. I needed to fix this.

"First, I never kissed you on the lips because I wanted to wait for the perfect moment for our first kiss." I smiled as my lips ghosted over her jaw. "I was also trying to be a gentleman, and I was worried you didn't like me as much as I liked you. I mean, I am older than you. You probably first saw me as an older brother anyway."

She scoffed. "You're only one year older than me, Edward. And who said I saw you as a brother?" Her eyes twinkled after she rolled them. "Gosh, you really need to clear all those cobwebs in your mind; it's messing with your thinking," she teased me. If only she knew the cobwebs were actually a mental disorder. "When I first met you, my first thought was how pretty you were."

I grinned. "Pretty?"

She laughed and blushed. "Yes! And when Renee explained that we must be friends because our dads were friends, I was ecstatic. So ... yeah, I'd had a crush on you for a long time." Suddenly she buried her face in my neck, her grip on my body tightening. "God, admitting that is embarrassing. I feel stupid."

"Stupidly in love, you mean," I countered, my mouth set in a big grin. "As far as I can tell, you aren't stupid, Ms. Swan."

"Still the charmer, Mr. Masen." She smirked.

"Oh, you are not going to smirk at me," I threatened. I tickled her sides and she thrashed around, sending water everywhere as she tried to get away from me. When her back hit the tiles, I quickly trapped her in so she wouldn't escape.

She raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I give up. I will not smirk at you anymore," she gasped.

"Good," I said, smiling.

Her skin was so flushed and warm and oh-so-tempting that I couldn't help but kiss her again. The kiss ranged from playful to… lustful as I deepened it. We moaned. My lips trailed to her jaw then down to her neck where I nipped at her wet creamy skin. She gave a tiny squeak of surprise. My lips ghosted upwards to her ear.

"I never got a chance to say this, Bella," I whispered as my hands roamed her curves. "You look breathtaking tonight."

I pulled out the elastic tying her hair and combed my fingers through it. I massaged her scalp, and she let out a little moan. My dick sprang to life at the sound.

"Edward," she breathed out in a voice that made me want to flip her on her back and have my wicked way with her.

"Yes, love?" I resumed my kisses on her neck, sucking and nibbling on the joint where neck met shoulder. Her hands were in my hair, running gently through the strands.

"I – oh," she gasped as my hands brushed the sides of her breasts, and her grip on my hair tightened. The action made her breasts press deliciously against me. "I want you," she whispered.

My heart sped up at that because fuck, we just got together after seven years and here she was, saying she wanted me. "Are you sure?" I asked uncertainly. I didn't want her to feel like she had to be with me as soon as possible. I pulled back and looked at her now very dark brown eyes.

She smiled at me then leaned forward to kiss my neck the same way I'd done to her. Her lips trailed upwards and she whispered in my ear, "Yes." Then she took my earlobe into her mouth while my grip on her waist tightened, and my erection strained painfully against my slacks.

Shit. I had to get us out of here.

I lifted her gently and walked over to place her back to the edge of the pool. She leaned back in surprise as I stood between her legs. I paused and racked my lust-filled brain for a place for us.

When she leaned down to kiss me again—I couldn't blame her; it had been a long time indeed–I held her face in one hand and kissed the side of her mouth instead.

"Bella," I said quietly, "we can't do this here." My other hand went to the inside of her thigh and caressed the soft smooth skin there.

"Why?" she gasped out.

I smiled at her. "For one, this pool is not an ideal place for sex." I was talking to Bella about sex! Where was that prayer vigil? My soul had left me. "And I want our first time to be right. I don't want to take you like an animal."

Bella stared at my face with a soft expression for a long time until a wicked smile lit her face. "Come. I have a room on the twenty-first floor."

"You do?" I was surprised because Governor Swan and his family lived just a few miles from here, but I was also giddy. I swam over to the steps and climbed out of the pool, the cool air whipping around my body and water gushing heavily down from my clothes. Damn, this was heavy. I shouldn't have worn the slacks.

"Mhmm," she said playfully, standing up. She smiled at me, but her eyes trailed down and widened. "Good to know I'm not the only one wanting this." She grinned.

Bewildered, I glanced down and almost fainted in horror at the prominent bulge in my slacks. Shit! I made a mental note not to swim in slacks and get aroused ever again.

Bella laughed at my panic–stricken face and said, "You should do this, too." And then, without any warning, she unzipped her dress. It fell and pooled around her feet.

I was by her side in a flash. "What are you doing, beautiful?" I murmured, attaching my hands to her bare hips and feeling awed at the sight of the most perfect ivory skin I'd ever seen. I knew how soft and smooth her skin was—natural as it was since childhood—but to see her whole body… it was breathtaking. Her black bra and panties made her look so damn sexy. It made her seem more translucent, like an angel. And still the temptress. If it was possible, I hardened even more for her.

She chuckled. "I'm going to dry my dress, Edward. You should do the same with your clothes," she repeated, eyes sparkling with mischief.

I was thinking how this woman was going to be the death of me as I crushed my lips to hers greedily, claiming her mouth with my tongue until she groaned. All thoughts flew out of my head and down to… the other head.

"Bella, love," I said roughly, cupping her face. "You have to get back into your dress real quick."

She gasped when she saw my hand. "Edward! What happened to your hand?" She took the injured hand in her own.

I had totally forgotten about that. "Oh, yeah. Uh, I tripped?"

She smirked, but grinned widely when I arched a brow. "I'm treating this once we get to my room." Then she turned around.

I turned away as well, picking up my sweater and hurriedly putting it on, not bothering with my wet shirt. Screw pneumonia. Then, turning my back on a bending Bella—who knew what else I could do to her—I removed my slacks, squeezing the fabric. It worked; the slacks became semi-dry, which I was thankful for.

When Bella had her dress back on, I noticed the quivering of her lower lip.

"Are you cold?" I picked up the jacket on the bench, stood up, and draped it over her shoulders.

She smiled warmly. "Thanks." She put her arms inside the sleeves, and I took her hand in mine.

"Ready?" I was not just referring to getting out of this place or what was going to happen. Ready for us? For our future, together?

"Ready," was her firm yet happy reply.

While waiting for the elevator, Bella seemed jittery. There were other people in the elevator, however, so she was not able to say whatever was bothering her.

By the time we'd reached the twenty-first floor, I was in a much more sensible state, and I felt bad that I'd acted like an animal by the pool. She deserved more than that. It was enough that I screwed up seven years of our time together. I wanted to do right by her. I meant what I said when I'd refused her. I wanted to please her, to make her happy, to make her feel loved.

Bella stopped outside what I presumed as her room. She took me to the kitchen to treat my wounded hand first. Then she wrapped it with bandage.

Once inside the bedroom, I hugged her to me. Just hugged her, making us calm down so our time together would be sweet and out of the love we had so long been holding back.

I bowed to capture her lips with mine when I caught her biting it.

"What's bothering you, sweetheart? Tell me," I urged her gently.

She craned her neck to the side, not facing me. I raised a hand to hold her cheek, caressing her gently as I bent my head to her. "Bella," I implored quietly.

Her apprehensive eyes met mine finally. "I-I don't know how… I mean, I'm n-not yet… I haven't…"

Realization sunk in, and my eyes widened. "You're still a virgin?" I asked, astonished.

She bit her lip, nodding. "Actually," she started hesitantly, "I've always wanted my first time to be with you." The last words ended in a whisper. "That's so foolish, right?"

I, however, was still shocked that this woman could be so totally surprising. A warm feeling coursed through my system as I realized that she had never failed to care for and love me.

"No," I choked out, my voice laced with emotion. "Come here, love," I whispered before I kissed her with renewed energy. I poured my affection for her into that kiss.

Slowly, I laid her down the bed, not breaking the kiss. After removing my shoes and hers, I moved over her and felt around for the zipper and removed her dress. I was stunned by her beauty even though it was the second time I'd seen her. I gave chaste kisses to her lips, jaw, neck, and shoulder. Down I went until my lips ghosted over the top of her breasts.

My wandering hands went behind her and unclasped the blasted bra. Once it was removed, I gazed in wonder. "You're so beautiful, love." Really, she was. Bella blushed and continued to watch me. She was pink and perfect. I cupped one, and it fit perfectly in my hand. Bella moaned, eyes closing and hips rising off the bed. My fingers played while I decided to take the neglected one in my mouth. She gave a deeper moan.

"Edward, please," she gasped desperately. Her leg wrapped around my torso, and I was shocked by her heat. I ground into her once—because I was losing control—and she threw her head back with a groan. My innocent girl had never looked so wanton.

I groaned. I had planned to study every inch of her first, like a piece of art, exploring and taking in her body. But her needs were my utmost priority.

My sweater and shirt were gone in a flash. I unzipped my slacks, and it joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Bella was watching me with half-closed eyes and heaving.

But—what was it again, Masen?—I wanted to make her feel good first.

I moved even lower until I was facing the most private part of her body. Her black panties were soaked, and I moaned. You could bet it was gone in a blink. I stared at her center, and like every part of her, it was beautiful. She was so wet for me, and I loved it. I kissed and sucked at her lips while her hips ground themselves to my face and her hand grabbed my hair. I pushed a finger inside her, and her breathing grew frantic. With my tongue and finger, she came apart, and she had never been so gorgeous and vulnerable.

With a proud smile, I crawled up her body and kissed her. I grinned at her tired yet satisfied expression. "What do you think, Ms. Swan?"

"I-I think that was the best orgasm I've ever had," she gasped out.

I chuckled. "Do you have protection?" I wanted to hit myself with a mallet when I realized this problem. Again, Masen, think with your other head the next time.

Thankfully and surprisingly, she reached for the drawer and pulled out a foil wrapper.

"Alec made me pack them. With well wishes." Her cheeks heated up.

I grinned. "Remind me to thank this Alec." Before I moved or anything, I asked her, "You're sure about this, Bella?" I did not want her to have any regrets, or even feel rushed, because, yeah, I'd screwed up enough already.

"Yes, Edward, I'm sure." She smiled.

I put the condom on and hovered over her again, my arms resting by her sides. "This is going to hurt, love. Hold on to me." Her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I spread her legs wider, bending one knee. Her face held nothing but excitement and love. "I love you, Bella," I whispered to her.

The tip of my length touched her warm opening, and I almost lost it when I slowly pushed. Bella gasped and closed her eyes, pain etched on her features. I paused, panting and pressing my lips to hers. "Relax, sweetheart. It will be okay, I promise." I continued, groaning deeply when I felt her hug me tightly and warmly.

When I felt I could not go any deeper, I glanced at Bella's face. She was biting her lip, and I let her adjust to me, kissing her jaw, neck, and the top of her breast. Finally, she opened her eyes and indicated that she was okay.

I pulled out and thrust back into her. We both moaned as I started a slow rhythm. Being with her was magical; something my mind could never conjure. Bella consumed my thoughts, my senses… everything in me. She was everything to me. And with all the pain I'd caused her, I was sure that there was nothing I could do to atone for my mistakes, even if she had forgiven me, except show her how I felt. Damn, I was sounding cheesy again.

With every thrust, I gave her my love because that was the only sure thing I could give her. With every kiss, I let her feel my devotion. With every caress, I showed my gratitude. She had chosen me, after all, after everything, and I couldn't ask for more.

I drank in her screams as she exploded around me, and soon I felt my release as well. I kissed her once more, and we both tried to calm ourselves as we came down from our highs.

"Thank you, love," I said once my heart was at a regular pace. "Thank you for making me your firsts and for giving me that wonderful experience. You truly are exquisite." I smiled at her.

Bella laughed. "You've been with… women. Surely you've had better." By the glint in her eye, I knew she was teasing.

My lips descended on hers, our tongues tangling. I snuck one hand up to the nape of her neck where I massaged, delighted at the gasp of pleasure coming from her.

"Never, Bella," I told her firmly. "I don't know any other way to say this. That part of my past was the biggest mistake of my life that I will regret to the grave. You are everything I've ever wanted, I'm sure of it. What happened between us tonight is… I have no words," I admitted. "But I will never compare it with another because I love you. You're not to be compared with one night stands, love. You're too precious," I murmured, kissing her shoulder.

She blushed and smiled, touching my cheek. "Edward, we're humans. We err, we get over, and that's it. Please think about that. I love you," she said softly, "even if I think you're ridiculous and putting me on a pedestal." She hid a yawn behind her hand.

I chuckled. "You should sleep." With a kiss on her cheek, I finally withdrew myself from her, my penis slipping out as I stood up and walked over to the bathroom. I disposed of the condom and cleaned up a bit. Then I grabbed a towel, washed it, and took it with me outside.

Bella was lying on her side, eyes closed and a peaceful smile on her face. I was able to see her magnetic eyes again when I sat down on the bed.

"Shhh… sleep now, my love," I said quietly, running the towel over her arms and torso. I worked quietly as I cleaned her up, and once done, I placed the towel on the table. Bella was staring at me. "I thought I told you to sleep." I smirked.

She grinned. "Have I told you how lucky I am?"

"No, I don't believe you have." I brushed strands of hair from her face.

"Okay then. I am the luckiest woman in the world; thousands of women are sure to envy me." Her grin widened when I burst out laughing. Yes, love, they'd envy you for a moron like me. When I quieted down, she said seriously, "Thank you, Edward. I know you're not forgiving yourself yet for that little mishap, but please try. Things worked out in the end, after all." She smiled again. "And tonight was… I have no words," she mimicked me.

"Hey, that's my line."

It was her turn to laugh. "Come here, Mister, and sleep with me."

I wasted no time getting under the covers with her. My arms circled her slim waist as she turned to face me. She kissed me quickly on the chest before her cheek rested on my shoulder, sighing in contentment. She was out like a light.

My eyes stayed open, watching her serene face. It was hard for me not to think about how my life had changed in the last twenty-four hours. Life really surprised you at every turn. As I lay awake, staring at Bella, I could not recall any of my failures as the happiness consumed me. My stupidity—the real concern here—was almost forgotten. And she was right. Things did work out in the end. I had to be kinder to myself. I mentally snorted again.

Suddenly, Bella's melodious voice broke the fog of my thoughts. "Edward … I love you."

My heart melted, and I smiled and kissed her forehead.

Yes, after everything, she still loved me. As long as that fact remained, I couldn't complain about anything.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it.

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