A/N: Here's the last of my series of four oneshots. Whee.

'I need help.'

You'd think it'd be easy to say, but it's damn well impossible if yer me. No matter what, I just can't bring myself ta say it. Or 'I'm sorry'.

Every time I screw up or me n'Leo have a blow up or whatever, I can't say sorry. Always the tough guy huh?

I dunno when, but I got inta the habit of being the tough one. When we were kids, I'd act like I'd never cried before and call 'em a sissy - like I'd neva cried before or somethin.

Then one day, I realised tha I'd forgotten how ta show anythin but anger. Anger I'm good with. Well, bad really, cause since I can't let out anythin else, all'a my otha emotions get turned into anger, and it all comes out inna rush and then I'm sayin stuff I don't really mean and can't take back. Then I take off and kick myself fer everythin I said and get angrier cause I know it's stupid, but I just dunno how ta stop.

Wish I knew how ta stop.

It's cause I can't that I'm sitting up here ta begin with. Leo 'n me got in a big blowup over somethin stupid - can't even rememba what it was now - and I'm kickin myself. Fer not bein able ta keep me big trap shut, fer sayin all that crap I didn't mean, fer not bein able ta stop.

"I thought you'd be up here."

Oh, no. Not him. I just know this'll turn inta anotha fight. I don't wanna fight with him anymore.

"Leo I'm really not in tha mood fer this right now."

He walks round in fronta me. "I don't care what mood you're in. You're going to get up right now, go home and apologise to Splinter for the way you behaved."

What? No, stay calm. Jus' this once.

"Look Leo, fer starters, I wasn't tha only one in that argument. So if you think that I gotta apologise, then you do too. And I'm not gonna. I'm gonna sit here fer a little while, then I'm gonna come home when I'm ready and talk ta Splinter about it."

Okay. So good so far. Calm. Leo don't look like he's feelin too calm though. This could get bad.

Leo folds his arms. "You really think you can tell me what to do?"

Oh, screw calm.

I stand up and face him. "What, so you get ta boss me round, but I don't get ta tell ya nothin?"

He unfolds his arms, makin fists on his sides. "Yes. I get to tell you what to do because I know better than you do."

That does it. Before I even know what I'm doin, I'm right up in his face, shakin my fists and callin him all sortsa names. He's yellin back o'course, just not with the kinda language I'm usin.

And then we end up yellin till we run outta things to yell about. Just like always.

He stands there in front'a me, teeth clenched an breathin kinda heavy. "Fine. Since you can't even try to be civil, I'm going to go home."

Oh yeah. Now he'll leave.

Leo steps up ta the edge of the roof. "I'll be waiting at home for that apology."

Apology! "Don't hold yer breath on that one bro - no wait - do."

He just rolls his eyes and jumps off the edge. Smug jerk. Sometimes I wish he'd jump offa cliff.

Why's he always gotta be ridin my shell about everythin?! No matta what I'm doin, I'm always doin it wrong - accordin ta him anyways.

Wish he'd stop.

Nah, that's not it. Wish we could both stop. Dunno why we do this dance all'a damn time. I'm so sick'a bein angry all'a time.

Wish I could ask fer help. But it's just outta reach.