A/N: This is mostly movie Edward. So no getting all Edward defender on me. Also, the funniness is because a lot of the Q/A's are from commercials.
Interviewer: Edward, could you please explain why Bella was automatically attracted to you so savagely....like some kind of cave woman?
Edward: I use Leather Axe my good man. *starts to sing* I look good in leather.
Interviewer: What about your hair, it's as if you just threw your hat to a crowd of chanting fans and daintily flipped your hair into perfection.
(Sniffing himself) Edward: Comrade, I just tousle. *turns to face a tv camera that's not there* SOMEONE'S doing the Herbal.
Interviewer: Your paleness is so extreme, how do people not rush you to the hospital?
(While shimmying) Edward: My first excuse, scallywag is to tell everyone that I'm a distant relative of Bella. Ooooooh diss. Also, my good man, donut trucks always seem to be speeding by spreading powdered sugar (in high pitched voice) EVERYYYYYWHERE.
Interviewer: Why do you have such a vonderful *coughs* wonderful relationship with Seth?
(Stroking nonexistant beard) Edward: *eyes get really big* He's just so...so....BEAUTIFUL. His eyes are the color of...umm....I'm not really sure..maybe topazes? Smoldering topazes. Yeah.
Interviewer: Thank you for your time Edward.
Edward: Hum, what? *wanders away*