A/N: Yay i finally made a fanfiction! This is my very first fanfiction that i made on this account, and i'm very pumped to make more in the forseeable future. Enjoy!
October 10, 7734
A giant freakin' nine-tailed freakin' fox freakin' thing is attacking the crap out of the Hidden Leaf Village. Also, our hero, Naruto Uzumaki was born, but that's not the center of the current event. And the the Fourth Brokage come out of nowhere LIK A BAWS and seals it inside said newborn baby for a yet-to-be-explained reason and inexplicably dies in the super awesome process of awesomeness.
12 Years Later
A yellow-haired, hyperactive, 12 year-old boy was running around, laughing like a freakin' maniac. He had just painted all over Mount Rushmor- err, Mount Brokage and was completely aware of the fact that he was totally boned, he just didn't care. His name, of course, was Naruto Uzumaki. "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO! YOU'RE TOO SLOW, BRUH!" Approximately 20 ninjas were chasing him to report him to the Brokage about the current incident. Well, of course, he was stopped because reasons.
OBLIGATORY CUT TO ICHIROCK RAMEN
"OM NOMNOMNOM!" Naruto was eating toooons of ramen with the first of his 1,330 masters, Iruka-senseisenpaisansamakun. "Naruto, why did you paint on Mount Brokage?" "Because i'm going to be the greatest ninja ever!" "That makes no sense." "It's supposed to not make sense!"
CUT TO NINJA SCHOOL
"You will now demonstrate the Transformation Jutsu because everyone knows ninjas can use magic techniques like that." After several other characters who we will get into later, it was completely obviously Naruto's turn. "TRANSGENDER TRANSFORMATION!" He turned into a naked girl, covered up by mist. Iruka-senseisenpaisansamakun's nose shot out 1/20 of his blood through his nostrils. Then he hit Naruto in the noggin.
A/N: There, happy now? I wrote something.