Title: Through the Woods
Author: DragonLady
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Not even camping is simple for Adrian Monk.
Disclaimer: The only things I own are my truck and the stuff in my room.
Chapter 1
"Are you sure this is the right way?"
"Adrian, I don't need a map!" Adrian smoothed the crinkled paper in front of him as Sharona turned down a gravel road. "I don't see this road, are you certain this is the right way?" Growling, Sharona pulled the map from Adrian's hands. "Hey, hey, you're crumpling it, it's all crumpled!"
"Adrian, if you don't knock it off I'm gonna crash into a tree. Then we'll all have to live out here. And this is very far away from stores that sell wipes!" The impending threat toned down Adrian's fretting, though didn't stop it completely. "Here, here's one of Benjy's car games. Why don't you play with this for awhile?" Adrian took the small toy in disgust. "Sharona, I'm not a child, I don't need to be patronized." As he spoke, he fiddled with the game, and was soon engrossed….. for about fifteen seconds. "Boy, how do they expect kids to learn with such simple toys?" Sharona bit her lip to prevent herself from responding. "Oh look, there's our sign, the campground is just ahead." Thank God, she thought to herself.
The drive to the campsite only took about five minutes. With Adrian in the car, however, it felt more like five hours. "Watch out for the trees! Ah, stop, stop, you're too close to the water!"
"Adrian, the water is twenty feet away!" Adrian clasped his hands. "Well, what if the lake floods? Maybe we should just go." Sharona tore the keys from the ignition. "I have a better idea. How about you sleep in the car?" As soon as the vehicle came to a stop, Benjy leaped from the car towards the lake. "Hey, put on your sun block!" Yelled his mother as she exited after him. Adrian squeezed his eyes shut as he carefully opened his door. "Is it safe?" Sharona glanced at him, breathed in and out a few times, then shrugged. "Seems ok to me." Adrian cocked his head sarcastically. "Ha, ha, ha." Several feet away, Benjy was stripping down to his swimming trunks. Adrian folded his arms as he watched the boy. "Do you think you should let him swim? I mean, there could be, you know, sea lampreys or something." Sharona began unpacking the car. "I let him swim in the ocean with sharks." She ignored Adrian's fretting as she finished unloading the vehicle. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to help." Adrian's apparent selective hearing made her breathe out heavily. Grabbing her tent, she dragged it to a likely spot and began setting up. Once Adrian determined Benjy wouldn't drown, he grabbed his own tent and began searching for a place to set up. Ten minutes later, after pulling the last cord tight, Sharona turned to see how Adrian was coming along. He was standing in the center of the clearing, familiar doomed perplex ion on his face. Sharona crossed her arms as Adrian's tortured gaze met hers. "It's so…. lumpy!"
"Adrian, it's supposed to be lumpy, it's dirt." Adrian shuddered. "Are you sure there isn't a cabin we could rent?" Sighing, Sharona walked over and took Adrian's tent from his hands. "Here, what's wrong with this spot?"
"There's a root, sticking up, and rocks." Sharona walked over a few feet. "Well, what about here? This looks pretty flat." Adrian's face twisted. "It's right under a tree. The branches will scratch on the tent and keep me awake." Sensing the beginning of a familiar headache, Sharona reached up and tore the lowest branches from the tree. "There. Now they can't scratch on your tent." Adrian shrugged. "It's not very clean."
Two hours later, by force, Sharona had Adrian's tent set up. By this time, the sun had begun to set. Emerging from her tent, Sharona breathed in the fresh air, then coughed. "God, what is that?" Adrian turned, a can in his hand. "You smell it too?" He proceeded to spray more of the contents of the can into the air. Adrian, what are you doing?"
"Huh?"
"I don't believe it, you're spraying air freshener outside?" Adrian's nose wrinkled. "I think it helps." Sharona covered her head as she sank into a camp chair. "Oh God."
A few moments later, a shivering Benjy ran up from the lake. "Hey mom, is there anything to eat?" Sharona looked up. "Hey, why don't you dry off and get into some warm clothes, your lips are turning blue." Benjy ducked into their tent. "Can we roast hot dogs?"
"Sure." Adrian glanced up. "H-hot dogs?" For one, brief moment, Sharona considered extending Adrian's torture. However, the sight of almost-tears broke down her resolve. "Don't worry Adrian, I brought along your own meals. They're in the cooler." Adrian's relief would have been comical if he wasn't so serious. Then his brow furrowed. "How are we going to heat it up?
Morning came early, about 4 am. Sharona groaned as she actually heard knocking on her tent pole. "Oh, you gotta be kidding." She murmured under her breath. The knocking began again. Groaning, she rolled out of her sleeping bag, careful not to wake Benjy, and pulled a blanket around her shoulders as she exited the tent. As she expected, Adrian was waiting for her. "Oh good, you're awake." Sharona's brows lowered. "What do you need Adrian?" He shrugged slowly, his lips tightening. "I, uh, I think I heard a noise." Sharona shivered slightly in the cold air. "You heard something. What did you hear?" Adrian turned his head, his face screwing up as he tried to recall the exact tone of the noise. "It was sort of an Ahhrr, whooh, whooh sound." Sharona covered her face with her hand. "Adrian, it was probably a loon." He shook his head. "No, they make more of a whuh, huh, huh, huh kind of sound. This was definitely an Ahhrr, whooh, whooh." This was getting nowhere. "Where did the sound come from?" Adrian pointed. "Back behind those trees." Sharona crossed her arms. "What, you want me to go look?"
"If you wouldn't mind." Sharona sighed. "Adrian…." A twig snapped, and Adrian held up his hand. "Stop, did you hear that?" Sharona hugged the blanket more tightly around her. "Adrian, I'm going to bed." Adrian's hand came up and hovered near her shoulder. "But, but what if it's a bear, or, or a….."
"A bear? Adrian, come on, there isn't a bear within six hundred miles." Another twig snapped, and Sharona suddenly felt her own twinge of nervousness. "Adrian, uh, God I must be nuts. Do you, uh, want to sleep with us tonight?"
Benjy twisted as he came awake. Why did he feel so confined? He glanced over to see his mother's face about a foot from his. His brow furrowed. Rolling over, he caught sight of another form. Adrian was sleeping on the other side of him, his brand new sleeping bag zipped up to his chin. Still groggy, Benjy just shook his head and drifted back to sleep.
More to come soon!
Author: DragonLady
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Not even camping is simple for Adrian Monk.
Disclaimer: The only things I own are my truck and the stuff in my room.
Chapter 1
"Are you sure this is the right way?"
"Adrian, I don't need a map!" Adrian smoothed the crinkled paper in front of him as Sharona turned down a gravel road. "I don't see this road, are you certain this is the right way?" Growling, Sharona pulled the map from Adrian's hands. "Hey, hey, you're crumpling it, it's all crumpled!"
"Adrian, if you don't knock it off I'm gonna crash into a tree. Then we'll all have to live out here. And this is very far away from stores that sell wipes!" The impending threat toned down Adrian's fretting, though didn't stop it completely. "Here, here's one of Benjy's car games. Why don't you play with this for awhile?" Adrian took the small toy in disgust. "Sharona, I'm not a child, I don't need to be patronized." As he spoke, he fiddled with the game, and was soon engrossed….. for about fifteen seconds. "Boy, how do they expect kids to learn with such simple toys?" Sharona bit her lip to prevent herself from responding. "Oh look, there's our sign, the campground is just ahead." Thank God, she thought to herself.
The drive to the campsite only took about five minutes. With Adrian in the car, however, it felt more like five hours. "Watch out for the trees! Ah, stop, stop, you're too close to the water!"
"Adrian, the water is twenty feet away!" Adrian clasped his hands. "Well, what if the lake floods? Maybe we should just go." Sharona tore the keys from the ignition. "I have a better idea. How about you sleep in the car?" As soon as the vehicle came to a stop, Benjy leaped from the car towards the lake. "Hey, put on your sun block!" Yelled his mother as she exited after him. Adrian squeezed his eyes shut as he carefully opened his door. "Is it safe?" Sharona glanced at him, breathed in and out a few times, then shrugged. "Seems ok to me." Adrian cocked his head sarcastically. "Ha, ha, ha." Several feet away, Benjy was stripping down to his swimming trunks. Adrian folded his arms as he watched the boy. "Do you think you should let him swim? I mean, there could be, you know, sea lampreys or something." Sharona began unpacking the car. "I let him swim in the ocean with sharks." She ignored Adrian's fretting as she finished unloading the vehicle. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to help." Adrian's apparent selective hearing made her breathe out heavily. Grabbing her tent, she dragged it to a likely spot and began setting up. Once Adrian determined Benjy wouldn't drown, he grabbed his own tent and began searching for a place to set up. Ten minutes later, after pulling the last cord tight, Sharona turned to see how Adrian was coming along. He was standing in the center of the clearing, familiar doomed perplex ion on his face. Sharona crossed her arms as Adrian's tortured gaze met hers. "It's so…. lumpy!"
"Adrian, it's supposed to be lumpy, it's dirt." Adrian shuddered. "Are you sure there isn't a cabin we could rent?" Sighing, Sharona walked over and took Adrian's tent from his hands. "Here, what's wrong with this spot?"
"There's a root, sticking up, and rocks." Sharona walked over a few feet. "Well, what about here? This looks pretty flat." Adrian's face twisted. "It's right under a tree. The branches will scratch on the tent and keep me awake." Sensing the beginning of a familiar headache, Sharona reached up and tore the lowest branches from the tree. "There. Now they can't scratch on your tent." Adrian shrugged. "It's not very clean."
Two hours later, by force, Sharona had Adrian's tent set up. By this time, the sun had begun to set. Emerging from her tent, Sharona breathed in the fresh air, then coughed. "God, what is that?" Adrian turned, a can in his hand. "You smell it too?" He proceeded to spray more of the contents of the can into the air. Adrian, what are you doing?"
"Huh?"
"I don't believe it, you're spraying air freshener outside?" Adrian's nose wrinkled. "I think it helps." Sharona covered her head as she sank into a camp chair. "Oh God."
A few moments later, a shivering Benjy ran up from the lake. "Hey mom, is there anything to eat?" Sharona looked up. "Hey, why don't you dry off and get into some warm clothes, your lips are turning blue." Benjy ducked into their tent. "Can we roast hot dogs?"
"Sure." Adrian glanced up. "H-hot dogs?" For one, brief moment, Sharona considered extending Adrian's torture. However, the sight of almost-tears broke down her resolve. "Don't worry Adrian, I brought along your own meals. They're in the cooler." Adrian's relief would have been comical if he wasn't so serious. Then his brow furrowed. "How are we going to heat it up?
Morning came early, about 4 am. Sharona groaned as she actually heard knocking on her tent pole. "Oh, you gotta be kidding." She murmured under her breath. The knocking began again. Groaning, she rolled out of her sleeping bag, careful not to wake Benjy, and pulled a blanket around her shoulders as she exited the tent. As she expected, Adrian was waiting for her. "Oh good, you're awake." Sharona's brows lowered. "What do you need Adrian?" He shrugged slowly, his lips tightening. "I, uh, I think I heard a noise." Sharona shivered slightly in the cold air. "You heard something. What did you hear?" Adrian turned his head, his face screwing up as he tried to recall the exact tone of the noise. "It was sort of an Ahhrr, whooh, whooh sound." Sharona covered her face with her hand. "Adrian, it was probably a loon." He shook his head. "No, they make more of a whuh, huh, huh, huh kind of sound. This was definitely an Ahhrr, whooh, whooh." This was getting nowhere. "Where did the sound come from?" Adrian pointed. "Back behind those trees." Sharona crossed her arms. "What, you want me to go look?"
"If you wouldn't mind." Sharona sighed. "Adrian…." A twig snapped, and Adrian held up his hand. "Stop, did you hear that?" Sharona hugged the blanket more tightly around her. "Adrian, I'm going to bed." Adrian's hand came up and hovered near her shoulder. "But, but what if it's a bear, or, or a….."
"A bear? Adrian, come on, there isn't a bear within six hundred miles." Another twig snapped, and Sharona suddenly felt her own twinge of nervousness. "Adrian, uh, God I must be nuts. Do you, uh, want to sleep with us tonight?"
Benjy twisted as he came awake. Why did he feel so confined? He glanced over to see his mother's face about a foot from his. His brow furrowed. Rolling over, he caught sight of another form. Adrian was sleeping on the other side of him, his brand new sleeping bag zipped up to his chin. Still groggy, Benjy just shook his head and drifted back to sleep.
More to come soon!