You watch the way she twists her fingers in her hair, her eyes glued to the window just in front of her face. She hasn't said a word since you snuck her out of her house about five hours ago, and at first it worried you, but then you wrote it off as "Spencer just being Spencer." After all, she did almost die at the hands of Mona, so you can't really blame her for being mute.
Then, there was the finding of Maya's body. You know it hit Emily the hardest, but it still messed up all of you in the same way, so you're all a little shaken after last night. It's nothing you can change, the things that have happened within the past 24 hours, but it's something you're willing to try and help Spencer forget about, if even for an hour.
"Why did you bring me here, Aria?"
You whip your head up at the sound of her voice. It's rough, gravelly, sounds like she's been crying for hours, and judging by the tear streaks on her cheeks, she silently has been. You mentally scold yourself for not knowing, your eyebrows furrowing over your nose and you shake your head. You're supposed to be making her feel better, not letting her continuously wallow in her sadness and fear.
"I wanted to get you away from," your hand waves dismissively toward the window, "everything out there. Last night was hard and I know you, Spence. I know you're still letting it get to you."
You know the words aren't fair to say, because honestly, last night is still getting to you, too. You watched your best friend almost get pushed to her death by someone you all thought was at least an acquaintance to you and you saw the dead body of your other best friends dead ex-girlfriend—so of course it's getting to you, too. But you have to pretend to be strong for her. It's usually Spencer who's the strong one, the one keeping you and the other girls together when things get bad, but right now, she can't be that person, so you have to be it for her.
"Then why bring me here, Aria? This is where it—"
"—Happened, yeah, I know. That's why I did it."
Spencer glances at you, finally, and gives you a look that makes your insides turn and your gaze drop from hers. You know she doesn't understand and part of you is glad for that. It makes this more real, makes you realize that this moment is more real and not just for you, but for Spencer, too. You open your mouth to explain, words ready to spill from the tip of your tongue, then you promptly shut it. You can't tell her that you wanted to bring her to where it started because that's the only way to fix it, to fix her. She'll only rebuff the statement and say that you could've done that at home. Home… where Toby is. Where Ezra is. Where everyone who isn't just the two of you is. You want this moment to be between the two of you, you and your best friend. No one else. No interference. Just you. And sure, maybe it's selfish of you to take her away to where no one else can reach you, but you decided it was needed. So you can be selfish all you want.
"This is where it happened. Where we found out about Alison. Where Mona—" you notice her cringe at the name, "—where Mona attacked you. This is where bad things happened, Spencer. And we can't let this place continue to hold all those bad things for us."
"I appreciate it, Aria. But how can you even begin to stop making it that place?"
That question stops you. You were expecting it, yes, and you anticipated the answer you were going to give, but it still stops you. Do you dare tell her you planned on staying at this motel until it becomes less of a bad place? Do you dare tell her that her parents agreed to it because they want their daughter to be okay? Do you even dare mention that you specifically told Toby to not contact her until you said so? No, you don't tell her any of that. You decide she doesn't need to know, it's better off that way.
Your body moves until you're sitting beside her, both your hands coming up to take ahold of the shaking ones in her lap. You grip them tightly, your eyes staring at her profile as hers stare at your clasped hands. Spencer takes in a shaky breath and when she blows it out, you let your head fall to her shoulder gently. Hers rests on top of yours and you wet your lips, eyes closing slowly.
"The only way we can make this stop being a bad place is if we make it good. We can't let the fear constantly ruin our lives. So this is a fresh start, alright? This is us, right here and right now, not letting the fear ruin us anymore. Mona is locked away in the crazy house—A is gone, Spencer."
Somewhere during your little speech you lifted your head, and from the new angle, you can see the small smile on her face. It's faint, barely even noticeable, but it's definitely there for you to see. Something switches in you and you realize this is the first time she's smiled since everything happened. You realize that slowly, you're helping her, even if it's with a smile right now. But right now, she's not thinking of the pain, the torture, the fear and that's good enough for you.
You pull one of your hands from hers, hand lifting enough to hold your pinkie out to her. It's childish and pointless, but it makes you remember when you two used to pinkie promise for everything back when you were younger. Like when you were thirteen and Spencer accidentally broke the vase your mom had just bought the day before; you had pinkie promised her right then and there that you would take the blame for her so she wouldn't get in trouble with your mom and her parents, too. If you remember correctly, that was the last time you two have done it, so it's slightly random that you choose now of all times to resurrect the promise, but it's enough for you.
And it seems to be enough for Spencer, too, because she lifts her hand, albeit slowly, and links her pinkie with yours, her smile slightly growing in size as she teases you with a, "Pinkie promise, really?" and a short laugh. You nod, answering her question with no words and let your own smile come to your face as you shrug, not caring how silly this moment is.
"I promise that no matter what, I won't let this break you anymore, Spencer. You're my best friend and I love you, so it's my unspoken duty to make sure you're always okay. When you want to break, I will fix you. Pinkie promise."
She processes your words, her own eyebrows digging down over her nose and you swear you can see the cogs working in her head. But before you can tell her to stop thinking so hard and to just live in this moment, she's nodding and her smile is so blinding and skin splitting that you can't help but laugh. You two only have each other right now. No Ezra and Toby, no Hanna and Emily, no parents, no one else. Just the two of you.
You're "Team Sparia" as she so eloquently put it just 24 hours prior to this moment and the memory makes you smile even more. Because its always been you two, even when there were others, it's always you and Spencer. Nothing will change that, either—you're sure of it. And it seems as though she is too because she's nodding and pulling you into a hug so tight that it forces a hard breath out of you.
"We're 'Team Sparia'," she recites in the same voice she did yesterday and you nod, sliding your arms around her just as tight as hers are around you. She whispers a quiet Thank you for trying to fix me into your ear before her face is buried in your neck and you smile, both your embraces tightening.
"I'll always fix you, Spence. Team Sparia won't work with just one of us."