Title: Juniper Knows Best
Author: Salianne
Pairing: NUKE
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: m/m sexual situations, angst, one mean person
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, this is just for fun.
Summary: AU. A bit of role reversal for the boys, Noah's the rich boy and Luke...isn't.
Genre: Angst, Romance, hurt/comfort. Sequel will follow.
He watched from the loft. The hay had a permanent void in the exact spot where he sprawled day after day. It's in the farthest corner of the loft, impossible to see from the ground due to the tack and feed buckets hanging from the cross beams. But Noah could see everything below him. He snuck in early in the morning, before the man arrived for his day's work in the stables. The watching had become a bit of an obsession if the truth were to be told. Noah had moments of concern about that, but he quickly brushed them off. What else do I got to do?
He heard the creaking of the stable's giant double doors and watched the horses start to stir. They always get excited when he arrives. Can't blame them - I do too. Noah felt his heart flutter at the first sighting of the not-quite-blonde hair bounding through the wide doors. Oh my god, breathe Noah. In and Out. You've been doing it for 20 years. The man walked in with his usual bounce, whistling a happy tune while he collected the feed bags and filled them with the special blend of designer feed. Nothing but the best for Winston's thoroughbreds.
Noah knew the man's routine by heart. Prep the feed bags, talk to each horse before hanging the bags on their heads, a brisk brushing of coats and manes while the 'kids' ate. I love that he calls them kids. The man knew them all by name. He treated each of them according to their personality and temperament. It's like he cared about them - loved them - respected them. Noah sometimes wished he were one of the horses.
Luke entered the Mayer Stables at his usual time. By the time he arrived at his summer job, he had already put in a full 4 hours of work with his own horse. Luke never complained because he loved horses more than most people. In the three weeks since he started this job - he had made fast friends with the Mayer's horses. They were typical of horses who were more trophies than companions. They were all in dire need of attention.
"Good morning, kids!" Luke called out. The response was always the same, whinnies and nervous hoofs.
"Time for breakfast, my friends." Luke gathered the feedbags from just below Noah's hiding place. Once the feed was properly mixed and portioned, Luke made his rounds.
Tradewinds always ate first - it was just easier that way because otherwise he would just make a lot of noise and beat up the back of his stall door until he had food. "Here ya go, TW." Luke patted the horse's nose with his palm. "Hey, big guy, slow down!"
Luke handled the stall across from Tradewinds next. "Magic, I gave you a little supplement for your skin." Luke scratched her forehead with his strong fingers. "It should help the itching, sweet girl."
Luke moved to the next stall. "Hey Constitution! You're looking good today. I think all the extra brushing is really helping." Luke gave the horse an affectionate kiss on the nose.
General, Five Star, and Easystreet were all wearing their feedbags within three minutes - each were greeted and scratched in their favorite places before Luke walked to the far end of the stables and looked up.
"So." Luke spoke to the dark hair sticking out from the loft above. "Are you ever planning on introducing yourself?"
Luke's laughter bubbled from his chest as he watched the hair disappear from view. "I've given you three weeks to do it - you've forced me to take matters into my own hands. So either you come down or I come up - but one way or the other we will be formally introduced today."
Noah felt like his heart was going to explode from his chest. Shit. Shit. Shit. He crouched in the loft for several minutes trying to figure out what to do. He knows I've been watching him. Shit. Noah took several deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm himself. Be cool, Noah. It doesn't mean he knows you're into him. Just be cool and you'll get out of this without getting your ass kicked by the stable stud.
Noah crawled to the ladder and tried to climb from the loft as gracefully as his long legs and arms would allow. Once his feet were both planted safely on the ground, he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and looked at his feet. Geez-us - my feet are gigantic. OK - that was a random weird thought. I just need to get out of here.
He sensed that the man was stepping closer, but he still couldn't look at him. Shit. Shit. Shit. Noah saw a very masculine, hard-working -sexy- hand enter his peripheral vision - ready for a friendly handshake.
"I'm Luke Snyder. It's good to meet you..." Luke waited for a response and got none. "...um...this is when you tell me your name."
Noah heard his father's voice screaming in his head. 'Look a man in the eye when you shake his hand, Son. Don't be a fucking pussy.' Noah reluctantly pulled his eyes from their current position of staring at his giant feet to look Luke Snyder in the eye while reaching for his -sexy- hand. "Noah Mayer."
Luke felt his lungs seize in his chest. He found himself looking into the bluest, saddest eyes. Eyes that literally took his breath away. His secret stalker was stunning. Stunning.
"Noah Mayer?" Luke was still holding onto Noah's hand - long fingers and soft skin. This guy hasn't had to work a day in his life. "You're Winston Mayer's one-and-only son? I didn't think you really existed."
"What?" Noah asked, feeling a little offended. What the fuck is that supposed to mean.
"Well, I've heard about you - hell - you're kind of a legend in Oakdale. But - I've never seen you. Not in grade school, not in high school, not at OU. I've never seen you around Old Town or anywhere for that matter. Do you just hide out here at the mansion?" Luke's smile held no mirth.
"Boarding schools. Summer camps. I haven't actually spent a lot of time here." Noah answered shyly. I would have loved knowing you though. Just keep looking at me like that. Don't stop.
Luke looked at Noah - sizing him up - trying to understand the undertone in his voice - trying to dissect the sadness he hid in bluest eyes Luke had ever seen. "So, what brings you here now? Summer break from college?"
"It's more like a permanent break from college." Noah shuffled uncomfortably.
Luke saw Noah's discomfort and dropped the subject. "So - Noah-Mayer-Who-Really Exists - why have you been hiding in the hay loft?"
Shit. Noah's feet were suddenly interesting again. "I wasn't hiding."
Luke smiled wide. "Yes - you were."
"No. I wasn't." Fuck you.
"Noah Mayer. Were you watching me?" Luke asked flirtatiously.
Noah's head snapped up, suddenly Noah had no problem looking Luke in the eyes and the sad had been replaced by obvious rage. "Don't flatter yourself."
"It's okay Noah. I don't mind that you were watching me." Calm down - don't you get it? We're both obviously gay.
Noah's face flushed - an angry kind of flushing that also included eye-bulging and lip pressing. "I was NOT watching you. First - I'm not into watching guys. Second - even if I were, why the fuck would I waste my time on you? You're a nobody. You're nothing. You shovel my horse's shit all day. Why on earth would I be even remotely interested in YOU? If you're a little trailor-park-fag - more power to you - but you're barking up the wrong tree here - so stay the fuck away from me, Snyder. Don't think that you can't be easily replaced." - please stop talking.
Okay - so you're not so stunning when you act like a spoiled, out-of-touch, asshole. "You have nothing to fear, Mr. Mayer. The stable-boy knows his place. My apologies for crossing the line. I have shit to shovel, so if you will excuse me..."
Noah watched the man he had spent the last three weeks having fantasies about storm away. It's better this way. I can't do anything stupid if he hates me. This is good. It's good.
"So - you just walk away? Don't you know how to stand up for yourself?" What are you doing? You had it all squared away. You got rid of the problem. Maybe you don't want to get rid of the problem. Maybe you want to kiss the problem. Shut up. Fuck!
Luke froze in his tracks. What? This guy is crazy. Hot - but crazy. Luke turned around and stormed back toward the tall asshole with the blue eyes. "Actually - I do know how to stand up for myself. But unlike you Mr. Too-RIch-For-His-Own-Good, I NEED this fucking shit-shoveling job. Some of us have to PAY for college. Some of us have obligations and responsibilities. So - Mr. Mayer - I won't look you in the eyes and I'll stay three paces behind you at all times if that's what it fucking takes to keep my paycheck."
"You don't know me." Noah said so quietly Luke almost didn't hear.
"Whatever, Rich-boy." Luke spun around and stormed away - again - calling behind him over one shoulder. "I was trying to get to know you - idiot."
Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. "Wait!" Shit! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Noah watched as Luke stopped, slowly turned around and glared at him from across the stables.
"What!" Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I got a lot to get done, Mayer. Say what you need to say so I can get on with it."
You just got back in your father's good graces - what are you doing? "I WAS watching you. I was hiding and I was watching you. I've been watching you since you started." Shit.
Noah's heart thumped wildly in his chest as he watched Luke walk slowly toward him - again. Before Noah's brain could process what was happening - Luke was standing so close that he could feel the heat from Luke's body. He could smell Luke's hard work and he really, really liked the way Luke smelled. Luke stood a little on his toes, placing his lips so close to Noah's it was hard to tell if they were touching or not. Noah felt himself sway a little on his feet when he heard Luke's raspy voice - and felt his voice vibrate on his lips.
"I know." Luke wanted to kiss those lips, but he held back. I think I made my point.
Luke turned and walked away without another word. He heard Noah's voice behind him, a little quieter and way more sincere.
"I didn't mean it. What I said. I'm sorry. I'm not really like that."
Luke didn't turn around this time, he just yelled loud enough for Noah to hear him before he walked out of the stables. "I know."
"Coffee?" Noah held a steamy mug in front of Luke.
Luke accepted gratefully. "Like you even need to ask."
Noah grabbed the feedbags and started filing them with the custom mix he knew so well. A little extra for TW, a supplement for Magic, and four standard fixes for the others. He proceeded to get the bags on all of the horses while Luke finished his coffee.
Luke tossed a brush at Noah and they went to work grooming the horses. Over the last month they had fallen into a comfortable routine. They would groom one horse at a time so they could talk.
Luke learned that Noah really didn't know his father. He had spent most of his time at boarding schools and summer camps. He only found himself living at the mansion now because he didn't know where else to go after his father refused to continue paying for his tuition. Noah was forced to drop out of college after his Junior year. He now lived alone in a house large enough to serve as a mid-sized resort. Noah was not comfortable with his 'rich-boy' status - he said it felt like a noose around his neck most of the time. His father chose to live in the estate in Villefranche because he didn't want to run the risk of even looking at his disappointing son.
Noah stopped short at sharing what was so disappointing.
Noah learned that Luke grew up on a small farm not far from Oakdale proper. He was openly gay - though Noah didn't think Luke looked or acted gay. Luke was the oldest of four and he lived at home because dorms were too expensive and because he actually liked it at home. Luke loved horses - that was evident. But Noah learned that it wasn't just an expression with Luke - he really loved them. Luke would be entering his Junior year at Oakdale University in the fall - journalism. Luke didn't like loans, so he worked hard to pay for college because his parents couldn't.
Luke stopped short at sharing why his parents couldn't.
Noah enjoyed his mornings with Luke more than anything. More than anything now and more than anything EVER. Luke was sweet. Luke was handsome. Luke was open and friendly. Luke was flirtatious. Luke was patient. Luke was funny. Luke was fucking gorgeous and Noah couldn't stop dreaming about him. Noah tucked away his caution the moment Luke called him on his shit that first day they stood face to face in the stables a month earlier. He realized that he couldn't hide from this man - and he realized that he didn't want to.
Noah was undeniably in love - though he was still in a good bit of denial.
Luke knew from the first look into the sad ocean of Noah's eyes that this man would alter his universe. Noah was unexpected. Noah was kind and generous. Noah was humble and courteous. Noah was stunningly beautiful. Underneath his insecurity - Noah was funny. Noah also had a bubbling rage beneath the surface that Luke wanted to unearth and tame. Noah never admitted that he was gay - but Luke knew.
There was no doubt in Luke's mind that he was in love.
"What are you doing later?" Luke asked while brushing Magic.
"Later?"
"Yeah - later - as in tonight." Luke walked around Magic's head, stopping to kiss her nose, he now stood on the same side of the beast as Noah.
Noah felt that heat in his middle - it always happened when Luke stood too close. "I'm doing what I always do - nothing."
"You're doing something now." Luke grinned.
"I am?"
"Yep. You're coming to my house for dinner." Luke didn't ask.
"Luke. I don't know - I mean - I don't want to intrude..."
"Shut up, Mayer. You're not going to sit around that monstrosity of a house all night. You're coming and that's final."
"You're bossy." Noah smirked.
Luke grinned. "You seem to like bossy." You are such a bottom.
"I think I'm supposed to be the boss in this situation." Noah deadpanned.
Oh - a bossy bottom - even better. "I'll let you be the boss - but you're still coming to dinner."
Luke dipped his head under Magic's neck to continue grooming his assigned side of the horse. Once Luke was out of sight, Noah grinned like an idiot.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Noah sat in his car for a long time. He parked behind Luke's beat-up, old F-150, which gave him cover so he could hide and calm himself. Why am I so nervous. We've been hanging out every day for over a month. Noah took a deep breath and got out of his car. He walked toward the small farm house and tried to look like this was no big deal.
Luke opened the door before Noah had a chance to knock. "Hey! You made it!"
"I told you I would be here." Noah snipped.
"I know. I know. Didn't mean anything by it. Come in." Luke stepped back and let Noah pass.
Noah looked around the small sitting room, noticing the couch didn't match the chairs and the TV had a tin-foil antenna. Luke led him through the small room and into a kitchen which also served as a dining room. The solid table was surrounded by five mix-match chairs. The table was set for six. Five chairs. Why only five? There should be six.
"It smells good in here!" Noah said enthusiastically.
"Yeah?" Luke leaned against the sink, facing Noah. "Thanks. I hope it tastes good too."
"You cooked?" Noah asked - surprised.
Luke laughed - his eyes dancing with sincere happiness. "Yes - your stable-boy can cook, too!"
Noah furrowed his brow. "You're not my stable-boy, Luke."
"Then what am I to you, Noah?"
Noah saw the smolder in Luke's golden-brown eyes. Noah wanted to bury his fingers in Luke's hair and kiss him. I know what I want you to be. I want you. "You're my friend."
Luke's eyes lingered for several seconds before he cocked his head curiously. "Hm."
"What..."
Noah was cut off by a thundering noise behind him. He turned around to see three young children bounding down the stairs. Two girls that looked to be about 10 and 8, and a small boy that couldn't be more than 6.
"Luke - Ethan won't stop touching me!" The middle girl whined shrilly.
"Ethan - stop touching your sister." Luke ordered.
Noah watched as the little blonde cutie defiantly took one finger and pressed in onto the girl's shoulder.
"LUUUUUUUUUKE! He did it again!"
"Nat, sweetie. Just ignore him." Luke said patiently. "You and Faith need to get the water glasses filled and on the table.
"Who is this?" Faith asked dreamily.
Luke smirked. She likes him.
"How rude of me. Thank you Faith. Let me do some proper introductions." Luke said dramatically. "Faith, Nat, and Ethan - this is Noah. Noah - these beauties are the lovely Faith, the adorable Nat, and Ethan the Energizer Bunny!"
Noah kneeled so he and Ethan were eye to eye, "Nice to meet you little man." Noah made a big production out of shaking Ethan's hand. He then took each of the girls hands and kissed them in a royal way. "And so nice to meet you lovely ladies as well."
Luke saw Faith swoon.
"I call dibs on Noah!" Faith screamed.
"Nuh uh! Not fair!" Nat whined.
Ethan started getting into the debate and the decibel level began to rise. Luke stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled - loudly. The noise immediately stopped.
"Sorry to disappoint you guys - but I get Noah." Luke said.
"WHY!" Faith wailed.
"Because he's MY date." Luke explained.
Luke noticed that Noah was caught off guard. He didn't know this was a date.
"Is Noah your boyfriend?" Nat asked innocently.
"I don't know yet, Nat." Luke shooed the kids from the kitchen. "Now get the water glasses on the table and then go get Dad."
Luke looked at his shell-shocked dinner guest. "Sorry about that, Noah."
Noah's eyes looked concerned and confused. "Luke. I think there may be a misunderstanding here..."
"No - there's no misunderstanding, Noah." Luke said confidently. "Bathroom is that way if you want to wash up before dinner."
Noah stumbled to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror for several minutes, trying to understand what was happening. Oh god - he thinks this is a date.
When Noah made it back to the kitchen, everyone was sitting at the table, the one open seat was next to Luke. At the other end of the table was a man in a wheelchair. Noah could see that the man was partially paralyzed.
"Noah - this is my dad, Holden Snyder. Dad - this is Noah Mayer."
Noah stood and stepped around the table to offer his hand to Luke's Dad. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Snyder."
"Please call me Holden."
"Thank you, sir." Noah said nervously.
"No 'sir' - just Holden." Holden smiled - the same genuine smile that Noah always saw on Luke's face. "Luke's told me a lot about you, Noah."
Noah took his seat across the table. "Um...he did?"
"Oh yeah. You've made quite an impression on my son."
Noah looked twitchy. "Um...well...he's pretty impressive himself."
"That he is." Holden looked at Luke proudly.
"Noah is Luke's boyfriend." Nat announced with a mouthful of potatoes.
Luke giggled.
Noah choked on his pot roast.
"Nat. Noah isn't Luke's boyfriend." Faith corrected.
"Yes he is!" Nat insisted.
Noah shrank.
Luke laughed a hearty laugh. "Girls! You're making my boyfriend uncomfortable!"
Noah whipped his head around and glared at Luke. He reluctantly looked at Holden, expecting to see an angry stare - maybe a fork flying in his direction. But he only saw Holden laughing.
"You'll get used to it Noah. In no time the Snyder chaos won't phase you at all." Holden assured him.
Noah's head was spinning. What is happening here. Have these people lost their minds?
"Dad - will you be okay with the kids for a bit? Noah and I need to get some air." Luke grabbed Noah's hand and pulled him up from the table.
"We're good." Holden said with a bright smile.
"Come on, Noah."
Noah was relieved to be outside. The warm night air was a relief from the suffocating feeling in the house. "Why are you calling me your boyfriend?"
"Aren't you?" Luke asked.
Noah stopped and pulled Luke's arm until they were facing each other. "Are you crazy?"
"No."
"Luke - you know I'm not your boyfriend!" Noah tried not to yell.
"Do I?"
"Stop it, Luke! This is fucking crazy!" Noah was freaking out.
"I want to show you my horse." Luke turned and started walking briskly toward a small, worn barn.
I'm in the fucking twilight zone. Noah could only follow.
He stepped through the open barn door and saw Luke standing forehead to forehead with a plain looking horse. "Luke?"
"Come over here." Luke sighed.
Noah stepped closer.
"This is Juniper." Luke's eyes were closed, his head still rested on Juniper's.
"Are you okay?" Noah asked nervously. He had never seen Luke so still and so quiet.
"Touch her."
"What?" Noah was baffled.
"Touch her." Luke repeated.
Noah wasn't sure why he was doing it, because this whole night was getting weirder and weirder. But he lifted his hand and placed it on the side of Juniper's long horse-face.
Luke pulled his face away from Juniper's and looked at Noah instead. "Both hands. Touch her."
Noah placed his other hand on the other side of Juniper's face. He stepped in front of her, looking into her big, brown eyes. I swear she's looking at me. "Hey, Juniper. Did you know your person is crazy?"
"She likes you. She feels safe with you." Luke smiled.
"Luke..."
"When I found her she was at a horse rescue facility. They found her and 12 other horses abandoned in a canyon. She was the only survivor. She was skin and bones. She could barely stand, let alone walk. She was almost hairless. She was covered in wounds from being beaten. No one could get near her because she was afraid of her own shadow. But when I walked up to her she just looked at me. I put my head on hers and told her I would take care of her and she was safe and she was worth it."
Noah just listened to Luke's voice and stared into Juniper's eyes.
"She's a good judge of character. I trust her as much as she trusts me. She likes you, Noah. You're a good person."
Noah turned to look at the man who was now standing too close. "Luke..."
Luke put his hands on both sides of Noah's face and put his forehead onto Noah's forehead. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'll take care of you, you're safe, and you're worth it."
Noah gasped. "Luke..."
"I don't know why you're so sad. I don't know why you think so little of yourself. I don't know why you hide yourself away in that fucking house. But I want to know. I want to know you - all of you - even the parts of you that you are afraid to show."
Noah felt the wet heat of tears on his cheeks. "Luke."
Noah felt himself letting go. He felt himself giving in to the truth that would surely destroy him. He suddenly wanted to be destroyed - because he needed to taste the truth - he needed it now.
Luke tilted his head so his mouth almost touched Noah's and he whispered desperately, "Noah..."
Noah smiled - a genuine smile, "I'm your boyfriend, aren't I?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you. Even Juniper knows you're the one for me." Luke closed the tiny sliver of space and kissed him.
Noah felt the kiss all the way to his toes. This feels so right. It was like Luke's kiss was the key to release everything that Noah kept safely locked away. He pulled Luke closer, his fingers disappearing under the hem of Luke's shirt. I just need to feel more. He heard Luke moan into his mouth as he pushed his tongue past Luke's inviting lips so he could taste more, feel more. Noah needed more. Noah felt Luke pulling away and he heard himself whimper.
"Wait." Luke was breathless. "I need to get the kids squared away and make sure Dad has what he needs. My room is up the stairs behind you."
"You sleep in your barn?"
"I like the privacy." Luke captured Noah's lips in a hungry kiss. "Go up. I'll be right back."
Noah was surprised by what he saw at the top of the stairs. It wasn't a simple barn loft, it was a built out bedroom to include a walk-in closet, a small but efficient bathroom, and a tiny kitchenette. Wow. He's handy. Luke had a comfortable bed, a chest-of-drawers, a small couch, an entertainment center with a small stereo and old television in one corner, and a desk with a PC and a Mac in the other corner. One would never guess this was up there by the condition of the structure everywhere else.
Noah nervously sat on the bed and waited for Luke. This gave Noah plenty of time to have second thoughts. He had struggled with his sexuality since he was old enough to have crushes. It was easier in high school because boarding schools and summer camps offered him the luxury of distance from the eyes of his father. Noah thought it ironic that it wasn't until his junior year at Princeton that his father finally caught him - due to the bad timing of an unannounced visit and a VERY hot roommate with a case of imported beer. Noah will never forget the look on his father's face when he opened his dorm room door to witness Noah eagerly blowing his room mate.
His father made sure that both men were immediately expelled - the power of influence and a sizable endowment potential. Noah was banished to the Oakdale estate and cut off from any financial assistance. Noah's assets, the few he had managed to secure in his own accounts, were frozen. Noah was only allowed a small allowance - enough to put gas in his car a couple of times a month - and he was allowed to stay at the estate for the summer. His father would decide if Noah would be cut loose or reinstated after the summer - and only if Noah could prove himself. Noah wasn't sure how to prove that he wasn't gay. Especially after being caught with a cock in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure fucking the stable-boy isn't getting me any closer to redemption with Winston. Fuck. What am I thinking. I need to get out of here.
Just as Noah stood to leave - Luke appeared at the top of the stairs. Fuck - he's so fucking hot. I'm not going anywhere.
Luke stood at the top of the stairs, looking at Noah standing next to his bed. Luke couldn't remember ever feeling so attracted to anyone in his entire life. There was just something about Noah that captivated him.
Noah just wanted to get to the main event. There was no doubt in either of their minds what was going to happen in this room in the next few hours. "Are you just going to stand there, Luke?"
Luke laughed. "My, my...someone is suddenly sure of himself. I thought you weren't my boyfriend."
Noah tilted his head curiously. "I don't need to be your boyfriend to fuck you, Luke."
The tone in Noah's voice caused Luke's jeans to feel instantly tighter in the crotch. "Sorry, Noah. I'm not that kind of guy. I don't sleep around."
"Then I'm your boyfriend." Noah said in a demanding voice. "Now get over here so I can kiss you."
Luke discovered that Noah was indeed a bossy bottom. He was also a masterful top and had a talented tongue that brought out the filthiest language in Luke. He was normally not a fan of swallowing - but Luke found that he couldn't stop with Noah. Noah tasted so good, felt so good, smelled so fucking good. Luke wanted to swallow more and more and more. They used every condom Luke had stashed away in his desk drawer and filled the room with the pungent musky scent of sex. They fucked themselves to the point of exhaustion - they couldn't even muster the energy to shower or clean up. Another surprise for Luke - he didn't even mind.
Luke drifted to sleep three hours after they started - feeling pretty sure he could spend the rest of his life with the man whose heart beat beneath his ear.
Noah held Luke's relaxed, fucked out body almost reluctantly and fought sleep so that he could figure out how he was going to get out of this.
Noah woke a few hours later to the smell of sweat, sex, horses, and coffee. It was a combination of smells that he knew would always remind him of Luke. As that thought flashed through his mind, he felt his heart ache in his chest. How am I going to get out of this. Shit.
He pulled his tired body from Luke's wrecked bed and followed his nose to the coffee pot. Luke had set out a cup for him, with cream and sugar just the way he knew Noah liked his coffee. Noah lifted his arm and smelled his arm pit - I can get away with a quick sponge bath and get the hell out of here before Luke gets back.
Noah gulped down his coffee, sort of cleaned himself up and got dressed in the same clothes he wore to dinner the night before. He snuck down the stairs and headed for the barn door to make his escape.
"Hey there, sleepyhead!" Luke greeted him from the back of the barn.
He sounds happy. Fuck. Noah turned to see Luke - looking happy and sexy and fucking adorable in his low rise jeans - no shirt. Bastard.
"Good morning, Luke. You're up early." That was a stupid thing to say, Mayer.
"So are you. Did you find the coffee?" Luke asked as he walked across the barn.
Shit. Don't come near me. Not looking like that. Shit. He's touching me.
Luke grabbed Noah's head and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Noah was suddenly tasting and smelling and touching Luke and he no longer wanted to escape. He just wanted to feel this. Fuck.
Luke pulled away from Noah's hungry mouth. "Mmmmmm, that's a nice way to start the day. Grab a brush - Juniper's been waiting for you."
Luke smacked Noah's ass playfully, grabbed his hand and walked him toward the horse who started this whole mess the night before. I can't do this with you, Luke. I can't.
Luke tossed a brush at Noah and pointed to the left side of the horse. "Be careful on her shoulder - there's a scar that's really sensitive."
"Oh. Um. Maybe you should do that side then - since you're familiar with her sensitive scars." Noah said nervously.
"You know all about sensitive scars, Noah - I know you'll be careful with her." Luke stated it like he knew something Noah never told him.
It completely threw Noah off balance. He didn't know what to even say to that, so he just stepped around Juniper's head and started brushing her down. Luke's uncanny ability to know things that Noah kept hidden made it really hard to not fall in love - Noah had never felt so understood and accepted - and cared for...and loved.
"Can I ask you something, Luke." Noah decided to just change the subject - in his head.
"Of course. Anything." Luke said from the other side of Juniper.
"Where's your mom? Why isn't she here to help your Dad out?" Noah asked, assuming Luke's parents were divorced.
Luke was silent for a few minutes, which caused Noah to regret his intruding question. When Luke finally answered - his voice sounded different. He sounded sad and lost - something Noah didn't know Luke was capable of feeling - he was always so happy and optimistic.
"Three years ago my parents were coming home from a horse auction. It was pretty late at night. They were hit head on by a drunk driver. My dad will never walk again, but he gets around pretty good. My mom really tried - she hung on for two weeks - the doctors were amazed by her strength. I wasn't surprised though - that's just how she was. She never gave up - no matter what anyone else thought. Dad says I have that part of her inside of me. I hope he's right because I want my sisters and Ethan to know that kind of strength. Dad has it - but not like Mom."
Noah's chest swelled and burned, his face felt hot from the emotions Luke conjured up inside of him. He stepped around Juniper so he was standing on the same side of the wall of horse as Luke. "I'm so sorry, Luke."
Luke looked at Noah, with a sincere expression. "Don't be. I'm lucky. I had her for 17 years. I have the privilege of keeping her spirit alive for her children. I have my dad - we have a home. I have a place to keep Juniper. And now I have you. My life is good, Noah."
There is no way I'm getting out of this. Noah cupped Luke's face in his hand. He watched as Luke closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. Shit - he loves me. "How are you real?"
Noah leaned into Luke, sliding his fingers into his hair so he could tilt Luke's head until their mouths fit together in a perfect kiss. He felt Luke's body lean into him, deepening the kiss and causing Noah's pulse to race. "You're a good kisser, Luke."
"No - you are." Luke smiled into another kiss.
"I think Juniper is feeling neglected." Noah interrupted the escalating kissing.
"Yeah - and I need to get to your place soon. The kids are used to a certain routine." Luke said with his eyes closed.
Noah couldn't resist stealing another quick kiss. "Let's get Juniper done, then we can head out. Maybe we can get the kids done quickly and spend some quality time in the hay loft."
Luke laughed - his signature, happy, contagious laugh.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Noah convinced Luke that they should just drive together to the Mayer estate since he had every intention of spending the night with Luke again. Luke didn't argue - he just insisted on taking his truck. As they drove the 20-minutes to Noah's place, they held hands and stole quick glances at each other. Noah felt happy - an emotion he wasn't too familiar with. He liked it.
"So - and you don't have to answer this if it's too personal - but I'm just curious..."
Luke interrupted, "Noah, there's nothing too personal. I mean seriously - after last night - I think we crossed over the line of too personal the minute your cock entered my ass."
"Okay - we're definitely getting hay loft time this afternoon." Noah teased.
Luke laughed. Noah was beginning to crave that laugh.
"So - um - with your dad unable to work, how does he manage? Was there a settlement or something?" Noah asked.
"Settlement? That would be nice. The guy that hit them didn't have insurance. He also didn't survive the accident. He wasn't the kind of guy to have an estate to sue either. So - no, there was no settlement. My mom had a small life insurance policy, that really helped with her funeral and some of Dad's medical expenses. He borrowed some from relatives - but we don't come from money - so they could only help so much. So, we just get by the best we can - you know."
"We?" He says it like he has no choice.
"Yeah. I work as much as I can between semesters, I squirrel away enough for tuition and borrow books from friends. I do work-study when I can. When I can get work-study it frees up the tuition money for that semester. I have a college fund for the kids, I can't put much in there right now - but I do what I can. The mortgage was FINALLY paid off last year - there wasn't much left on it thankfully. I made double payments one summer and it helped get the monkey off our backs early. We grow most of our own vegetables and I clean stalls for the dairy in Somerton on weekends in exchange for dairy products and meat. So our grocery bills are pretty small. We do thrift shops for clothes and I have become the King of Coupons. I've grown to appreciate public health clinics and government cheese. You would be amazed by how little it costs to live when you get creative!"
I get it now. You did choose. You chose to be a man. "You look proud of yourself." Noah observed from the passenger seat.
"I am, actually."
"You should be." Noah said before kissing the back of Luke's hand.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
The final few weeks of summer flew by quickly. They had fallen into a routine. Noah helped with Juniper before they drove to the estate and worked the stables together. Every night they fucked themselves into exhaustion - Noah had invested his gas money into a Costco size box of condoms. Luke made organic lubricant from the flaxseeds he got for free from the co-op after fixing their freezer. Noah had also created a little place for himself in the Snyder home. The kids adored him and Holden enjoyed seeing Luke happy, so he treated Noah like one of the family without hesitation. Luke introduced Noah to his friends - always proudly declaring that Noah was his boyfriend like Noah was something special. It always gave Noah a warm feeling. Luke also introduced him to the some of the professors at OU hoping he would decide to finish his degree despite his father's roadblocks.
Noah couldn't deny it - he loved Luke Snyder. I love him. After spending one summer with the man - Noah was fairly certain he couldn't live without him. I love him. Noah heard those three words hundreds of times from Luke. He heard them while they were driving. He heard them whispered into his ear when they did dishes after dinner. He heard them after Luke laughed at something funny Noah did or said. He heard them screamed to the heavens when Noah fucked him - or when Luke fucked Noah - or when Noah sucked Luke...and sometimes Luke would interrupt magnificent blow jobs just to say it before he swallowed. Luke was sure of his love - and he wasn't shy about it.
It wasn't that Noah wasn't sure of it too - because he has never been more certain of anything in his life. Noah just never said it before. He was almost afraid to say it. He didn't know why. Whenever Luke said it, Noah replied with a kiss, or a touch, or a raspy 'oh god you're so fucking good' - but never those three words. The three words that meant so much when Noah heard them from Luke - yet he couldn't reciprocate that for the man he loved more than anything. He just couldn't do it. Almost as if saying it out loud would destroy it. But as each day passed - Noah felt more and more need to say it. Noah was almost desperate for it.
It was mid-afternoon and they had completed the work at the stables for the day. Luke was wrapping the hose after he finished power-washing the stable's breezeway. Noah had gone inside to grab them both a cold bottle of water and when he saw Luke - shirtless, sweaty, and working his muscles hard in order to keep his family whole - something inside of him shifted. This image was the tipping point.
Noah snuck up behind him and dragged the cold bottle across his back. Luke startled and turned around with a wide smile and a sincere laugh. "I know your intention was to torture me - but that actually felt really fucking good! It's so HOT today!"
"It is - and you all sweaty and shirtless is only making it hotter." Noah pulled Luke by his belt loops until their hips were smashed together.
"Are you ever NOT horny, Mayer?" Luke smirked.
"Not when you're around. Is that a problem?" Noah growled into the damp, salty skin of Luke's neck.
"Not at all..." Luke pulled Noah's head back by grabbing a handful of dark hair and kissed him hungrily.
Noah's hips were on autopilot - grinding into Luke's as he deepened the kiss. "Luke..."
"Hmmm..."
"Luke...god...look at me." Noah pulled back enough to focus on Luke's face.
"What's wrong?" Luke looked concerned.
"Nothing." Noah kissed him again. "It's just...Luke...I love you."
Noah watched as Luke's entire face smiled. "I love you. Luke. I love you so much."
Luke crashed their mouths together in a grateful, happy, get-your-ass-up-into-that-hay-loft kiss.
"NOAH!"
Luke felt Noah's body stiffen.
Noah felt his blood run cold.
Winston stood at the open door of the stables - fuming. "What's going on here?"
Shitshitshitshitshit...think Mayer. Noah knew he needed to do something - fast. He needed to protect Luke. Winston only reacted one way to things that displeased him - he punished. Noah couldn't let that happen to Luke. Fuck.
Noah pushed Luke away roughly and turned to look at the red-faced man glaring at them. "Dad. I wasn't expecting you for another month."
"I can see that. What's going on here?"
It all clicked for Luke the second he heard Noah say 'dad.' Luke had never met Winston - he was hired by the estate manager after Winston left the country. Seeing the man who had been so unfair to Noah - so distant and unloving - caused Luke to puff up and get defensive.
"What does it look like?" Luke said defiantly.
"Who the hell are you?" Winston yelled.
"Luke Snyder. I take care of your stables and I love..."
"LUKE! Enough." Noah commanded. Noah turned to his father. "Nothing is going on here. This isn't really his fault. He's not even gay, Dad. He's the stable-boy for god's sake. It's just such a cliche' - you know - lord of the manner takes the stable-boy in the barn. I guess I wanted to see what kind of rush it would be - live out a fantasy. So I caught him off guard. That's all. I kissed him. Nothing happened - he totally shut me down."
"Noah..."
"No. Luke. You've done enough. I get it. You're not interested in a little role play with the boss' son - no big deal. Let's just pretend this never happened." Noah begged with his eyes for Luke to play along.
Noah saw nothing but pain looking back at him. He knew that he had just broken Luke's heart. Shit. I'll make it up to you. Please don't give up on us.
"That is the most depraved thing I've ever heard. I brought you here - isolated you - to get you to screw your head on straight and you try to screw the hired help instead? What is WRONG with you, boy?"
"I'm sorry, Dad. I was just bored I guess."
"Bored? BORED! I've heard enough. Mr. Snyder - I will have your last pay check mailed to you - I want you off of my property."
"What?" Noah looked horrified. "I told you it wasn't his fault! Dad! I did this - not him. I wanted to mess around with the stable-boy...he's just the stable-boy! He rejected me - I've been rejected by the fucking stable-boy for god's sake - he did you a favor! Humiliated me and didn't do anything depraved with your son. Why are you firing him?"
"Because I don't need anyone around here tempting you. I don't need you looking out your window and having sick fantasies about the servants. I may just fire every young, male servant we have just to keep you on track. God, Noah. You're sick. You need help!" Winston turned and stormed away.
Noah ran after him, pleading. "Dad - please. He has a family to support. You're not being fair."
"His family is not my problem - you are." Winston slammed the door in Noah's face.
"Shit." Noah turned his attention to Luke - but Luke was no longer there. Where'd he go?
Noah ran outside and didn't see Luke anywhere. After looking around the entire building, he finally saw Luke briskly walking away from the estate. He had almost made it to the end of the long drive, where it met the two-lane highway.
Luke couldn't stand there for one second longer. He couldn't hear Noah's voice say 'just a stable-boy' one more time. He couldn't listen to the love of his fucking life lie about them - so ashamed of their love for each other that he would rather make up a story about scratching an itch with a meaningless fuck with the hired help. Luke could only remember one time when he felt more shattered - the day he buried his mother.
So he just walked away. Juniper got it wrong this time.
"Luke - wait." Noah ran faster than he could ever remember running before. Luke wasn't waiting - so Noah ran faster. He finally caught up with his wounded lover and he grabbed him by the waist and pulled him to a halt. "Stop!"
"Let me go."
"Please. Luke. I was just trying to protect you." Noah tried to explain.
"Protect me?" Luke screeched. "From what?"
"From him. I didn't want you to lose your job. I didn't want him to make any calls that would mess things up for you. He's like that - he'll try to ruin you. I couldn't let that happen to you."
"I'm JUST a STABLE-BOY Noah - I can get a job anywhere." Luke's eyes were filled with so much pain.
"Oh god - Luke. I'm so sorry. You know I didn't mean that."
"You're an idiot." Luke walked away from him.
"Luke!" Noah grabbed his arm and pulled hard.
Luke snapped his arm away. "Ouch! Would you knock it off!"
"Listen to me." Noah begged.
"I did listen to you. I get it. It's not rocket science - even a stable-boy can get it..."
"Please stop doing that..."
"Noah. You know what you don't get? I. Don't. Care. I don't care what Winston thinks of me. I don't care if the fact that I am in love with his son makes him sick. I don't care if he fires me or calls who-ever-the-fuck you think he can call to ruin my life - none of that matters to me. None of that is as important as you and me - together. That's how I feel - I'm not ashamed of it - and I'm not afraid to defend it. I guess I thought you felt the same way." Luke was crying now. "But you don't."
Noah could only stand and watch Luke walk away. There was no way to defend himself. I fucked up. "At least let me give you a ride home." Of all days to bring my car.
"I can walk. Stable-boys are used to it." Luke didn't look back.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
It's a two hour walk. Two hours wasn't long enough to get his emotions in check. He was still a mess when he got home. Luke didn't want his family to see him this upset, so he went right to his room to shower off the dust and sweat and calm the red, splotchiness of his face. He stopped to touch his head to Juniper on the way out, she always calmed him.
After dinner - once the dishes were done and the kids were on their way to bed - Luke said goodnight to his father and headed for his room. He felt so tired. He saw the soft glow of the barn's overhead light filtering out of a crack in the barn door. Luke knew who was inside. I just can't do this tonight.
Luke expected to find him upstairs. But instead, Noah was sitting on a high stool, his back leaning against Juniper's wide chest. Juniper's head was hanging over one of Noah's shoulders, as if she were trying to comfort him. Luke could remember many nights when he sat in that exact position - so he knew how good Juniper's strong body and hot breath felt during hard times.
"You're going to smell all horsey if you sit like that for too long." Luke said as he leaned on the doorframe.
Noah looked up at the sound of Luke's voice. He looked hot, sweaty, tired, and splotchy. "Good. Horsey smell reminds me of my boyfriend."
"You have a boyfriend?" Luke asked, pushing himself from his lean so he could slowly walk toward a very pitiful looking Noah Mayer.
Noah grinned ever-so-slightly. "I do. He's really special. I'm very lucky"
"What would your dad say about that?" Luke felt a twinge of guilt for asking.
"He would say that no son of his is going to have a boyfriend and if I insist of being a deviant I can figure out how to do it without him. Then he would kick me out of his life with only the clothes on my back and not one cent in my pocket and scream at me as I walked away that as of today he has no son. Did you know it takes two hours to walk here?" Noah looked hopeful.
Luke's lips turned up into the tiniest of smiles. "Car's in his name, huh?"
"I don't care. For the first time in my life - what matters to me is more important than what matters to him. And what matters to me is you. Just you. I'm rich because of you. So - here I am - not a dime to my name, no car, no job, questionable future - my only possessions are these sweaty, filthy clothes - and I'm hoping that I matter enough to you to be forgiven for being such a stupid, scared, childish shit."
Luke stepped in front of Noah and placed a hand on top of Juniper's head. "I told her what happened today. She seems to have forgiven you."
"I had a long talk with her...it took her a while. She's very protective of you." Noah risked placing his hands on Luke's hips. Luke let him. Noah closed his eyes with relief.
"Naaah. She had already told me to forgive you - so I don't think you had to do much convincing." Luke moved his hand from Juniper's head and lowered it to Noah's sweaty hair.
"You understand that if you stay here it's government cheese and thrift store jeans?" Luke warned while stepping closer. Juniper backed away as if she were trying to give them more room to work it out.
Noah pulled Luke closer, circling his hips with his legs and wrapping his long arms around his chest and waist. "I'm actually more interested in talking about the homemade flaxseed lube..."
Luke shut him up with a kiss. A relieved, breathless, hot kiss. "So - you're moving in?"
"I'm not sure I can call it moving because there's nothing to move."
"True." Luke pulled Noah's shirt off before licking the salty skin of his neck.
"So - does this mean I'm forgiven?" Noah asked, his hands pulling Luke's shirt off at the same time.
Luke pulled himself free from the pseudo-wrestler's hold Noah had him in to pull him towards the stairs. He walked backwards so he could keep his eyes on the gorgeous man he thought he had lost. "Nothing to forgive. You found your way. I'm proud of you."
Hearing Luke say those four words was just too much. He's proud of me. No one had ever been proud of him. He's proud of me. No one had ever forgiven him without it costing him something. He's fucking proud of me. The most amazing man Noah had ever met - the man who sacrificed so much for the sake of his family without complaint - the man who showed him that he was lovable and worthy...is proud of me.
Noah caught Luke at the bottom of the stairs and kissed him senseless. They stumbled up the stairs, making sure to keep themselves connected by lips and tongues. Somewhere between the top of the stairs and the bed - they both lost the rest of their clothes. They fell onto the bed - Noah quickly maneuvered them so that Luke's body was draped on top of him.
"Make love to me, Luke."
Luke's eye's melted into his wide smile. "You've never said it like that before."
"Like what?" Noah was confused.
"Making love."
"No?" Noah thought about it and realized that Luke was right. I can't believe how hard I denied this - denied you.
"I always assumed that you thought it was just a little too - I don't know - not manly enough or something." Luke explained without judgement.
"Is that what you think? That it's not manly, I mean." Noah asked.
"It might not be - I'm not sure what the rules are for manliness. But I know that I really like the way it sounds when you say it." Luke could feel that the conversation was having a positive effect on both of them in the groin region.
Noah kissed him. "I love you. I love you I love you I love you. I'm so sorry tha..."
Luke cut him off with a steamy kiss. "Shhhhhhhh. I love you, too. No more sorry. We're done with that."
"No more sorry." I'll do my best to never do anything to be sorry about. "Now - make love to me."
FIN - for now - stay tuned for the sequel: Sensitive Scars