Felicity had never seen Oliver Queen cry.
Granted, she had seen him sad, angry, even desperate, and she had certainly seen him come close to letting his emotions to the forefront before. But she had not seen him shed a tear, not once.
Until now. Once Argus had taken Slade away, Oliver had disappeared from the scene without saying anything to anyone. (In fact, Oliver had barely said anything even when Felicity was with him, hugging him and telling him she was okay.) John had seemed preoccupied with Lyla, and the Lances and Nyssa looked busy too, so Felicity had headed to Starling City Cemetery on a hunch – that Oliver wanted to finally visit his mother's grave.
She was right. Felicity could see him even from a distance, in regular clothes he must have scrounged from the foundry, kneeling in front of Moira Queen's gravestone. There were tear tracks on his cheeks, grief and pain etched into his skin with more permanence than the reddish scars between his eyebrows and on his forehead. As she inched closer, she realised he was whispering, but before she could turn to leave, she heard his voice, loud, clear and steadier than she had expected. "It's okay, Felicity."
"How did you know it was me?" He hadn't even looked up.
Oliver shrugged. "I figured a Mirakuru soldier would have made a move to kill me by now."
But she ignored his attempt at humour. "I can go, if you want."
He shook his head. "No, it's fine."
"Are you okay?" she asked tentatively.
He turned away from her and she knew he was wiping his tears away with his sleeve. "I didn't go to her funeral," he said quietly, and Felicity could hear his voice shaking even though she couldn't see his face. "My mother died protecting me and my sister and I didn't even make it to her funeral."
"Oliver…"
"She knew, Felicity. She knew about me, about being the Arrow."
"She did? What did she say?" Felicity asked gently.
Despite his grief, something approaching a smile appeared on Oliver's lips. "She said… she said she'd known for a while, and that she could not be more proud."
"She was a good person," she said. "I know how much you loved her."
"You didn't even like her, Felicity," Oliver said. Felicity's eyes widened, but he said, "It's okay. I get why."
"It doesn't matter," she said quickly. "All that matters is that she loved you, and she showed that love for you in a way very few people ever can." She reached for his hand, still holding his gaze firmly, and continued, "And I am sure she would have been so proud of the way you saved the city tonight. Of the hero you are."
"I don't feel like a hero," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not when it cost my mother's life."
"You are. Especially considering the man who took it is still breathing."
"What does that prove?" Oliver said helplessly. "Besides the fact that I didn't break my vows?"
"That you have the strength to let him live," she said simply. "That you have something over him – besides having both eyes, I mean."
He regarded her curiously. "What do I have over him?"
"Humanity."
And before she knew what she was doing, she stood on her tiptoes to hug him. Though initially caught by surprise, after a few seconds, she felt his arms around her middle and his hands on her back.
"Thank you," he murmured.
They broke apart, and it should have been weird, or awkward, or clumsy at least (especially given he was telling her he loved her as a ruse mere hours ago), but instead, all Felicity felt was comfort in their embrace.
"Shall we go?" he asked. She nodded, and they walked side by side to the cemetery's entrance.
After a minute or so of silence, Oliver said, "You never really talk about your mom."
She was surprised. "To be honest, we don't really have a lot in common. She cares more about my dress sense and love life than my education or my career."
Oliver smiled. It was only a small smile, but she was still glad to see his demeanour changing. "Well, considering I went to four different colleges and dropped out of all of them, and that I was such a good CEO that I never even turned up for meetings, I'm sure we'd get along great."
"She probably would like you, come to think of it," Felicity said, smiling too. "I remember she used to offer me fake IDs so I could buy alcohol when I was in college." She thought for a moment. "The only thing we really have in common is that we're both blonde."
"Do you ever wonder what she would say if she knew what you do?" he asked.
She'd never thought about that. "She'd probably be worried, more than anything, if something happened to me. Being an IT girl isn't exactly a dangerous line of work, but dealing with bad guys is."
It was only after several long moments of silence that she realised what she'd said.
They were outside the graveyard now, and it was here that they stopped.
"Felicity…"
She closed her eyes. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean…"
"No, you were right. I put you in danger –"
"I never said that," Felicity interrupted. "Hey. Listen to me. You did it. You stopped Slade."
"By putting you in harm's way," he said.
She tilted her head a little to one side and raised her eyebrows. "I've been in harm's way the moment I decided to help you with your crusade. And every time that's happened, you've been there to get me out of danger. Including this time."
"This time was different."
"I know it was," Felicity said, diverting her gaze to her shoes for a moment. She knew why it was different, too, but it wasn't something she could just say to him. Not now. "But it's fine," she said instead. "I'm fine. The city's fine. He didn't hurt me."
"I'm glad," Oliver said sincerely.
There was still so much she wanted to say, and she could sense he did too, but things were too raw right now, as fresh as the cuts on Oliver's face and the bruise on Felicity's head. So she turned and started walking again, her heart still heavy but the weight on it manageable now he was by her side.