A Smattering of Lyrical Literature Chapter 1: White Flag, a harry potter fanfic

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I shouldn't have told you how I felt in the first place. That never turns out well for me. Everyone always wants to "stay friends." Well, I knew you didn't have that excuse, because we weren't friends. I shouldn't have told you again, trying to figure out what was going on, trying to sort things out. I hate secrets, I hate confusion. Usually I am the one listening to other peoples… I don't want secrets, when I have everyone else's.

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I really don't want us to hate each other. But I had to get it off my chest. I had to tell you. For what's left of my sanity, I had to tell you.

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

We are about to leave and we said we shouldn't, it would be better. But I won't forget, I won't stop loving you. I can't stop loving you. You plague me every waking moment. You're gone, I wonder how you are. You're there, I wonder what you're thinking, what you want to be doing, what person is haunting your thoughts like you haunt mine.

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

So much confession. So much pain. So many insults. I want to be friends. I don't want this to end us, even if it ends "us".

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on...

We'll meet in the future. With graduation just around the corner, we have to go our separate ways. But we will meet. And I'll love you just as much, if not more than ever. But I won't tell you that. I let you tell me about your happy life, all the money you're making, the wonderful marriage you had, the kid that's on the way. I won't tell you how you're breaking my heart, How that was supposed to be me with the wonderful marriage to you, the one expecting your child. The one you love. Because I still love you. But I won't ruin your happiness by telling you that. You'll leave, pretty little wife at your side, while I smile and crumble on the inside.

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be