Better off on my own
It's going to be okay Dean. I've got him.
2 years later
It's not like Sam ever thought that things would end up this way. He never thought that he'd end up in hell. He never thought that he'd get out. Sam's not really sure how he got out of hell. All he knows is that he wasn't down there long enough for him to deeply scarred by it. Sure he has nightmares and images flash behind his eyes but he can deal. He's alive and kicking after all. He went to see Dean, the night he got back. His brother looked a bit down, but Sam's sure than in time Dean will get over him. He'll deal.
In the meantime, Sam is back to hunting. It's what he knows best right? Besides what else could he do? He mainly lies low and does the low scale jobs. That's how he met Charlie, an older hunter who'd recognised Sam on one of his jobs. He was surprised that the man didn't reach for his rifle and blast him away. After all it's not like Sam was top of any hunter's Christmas list. But they'd bonded and Sam has been surprised at how much Charlie knew about what had went down,
"You started it and you ended it, you're a hero kid," Charlie had said but Sam didn't believe him. If anything he'd taken the easy way out. Even though Sam dragged Lucifer and Michael into the pit, he has a feeling that things aren't over yet. And he's scared. Scared that one day he'll need Dean's help. Scared that one day he won't want to do it alone anymore. It's ironic because it's just like the time when he went to college. He wonders if their lives will always go round in circles. They die, they come back. They fight and they make up. But this time it's different. Sam doesn't know how Dean will react when he finds out that he's alive. When Dean got out of hell the first thing he did was to find Sam.
Sam just doesn't want to disrupt the life that Dean's always wanted. Wife, kid…house. Sam tells himself that he doesn't want the same thing and it's partly true. He has no intention of settling down, there's no changing the fact that he has demon blood in his veins. No way is he going to inflict that on anyone else.
Some people are just better off on their own. Maybe one day Sam will realise that he doesn't have to be on his own. He just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong, and that he'll be thrown in the middle of it again. That it'll be Dean and him again. But Sam doesn't want to be the one that Dean resents when his perfect life is disrupted.