A/N: Inspired by my own inattention, I bring you a slight mishap from Henley Shepard's ME3 adventures. It's a one-shot, and probably won't feature when I finally get around to writing Henley's ME3 story.

But I hope you enjoy it. I certainly had fun writing it! Also, apologies that the Invention of Henley Shepard has gone so long without an update. Work's been amazingly busy. I have managed to finish the next chapter though, and will be publishing it as soon as I'm able to run through it once more, make sure I like it.

~Writer

The first time Henley Shepard realized she was in trouble was about the third time the Normandy docked with the Citadel. Per Admial Hackett's earlier email, she knew that Alliance Comand had chosen to uphold Anderson's battlefield reinstatement of her. What she hadn't realized was that this also came with a "charges dropped" order. And with that came two years' worth of backpay. Further, the Council had deemed all her actions with Cerberus as an unsanctioned-but-necessary Spectre operation, and had compensated her accordingly. She might well have fallen over in shock at the size of her bank account if not for her exceptional self-control.

Well, moderate self control. With money to burn and a little time to kill, she collected Ashley and went to the Presidium Commons. There were a number of stores, and at first, Henley wasn't sure where to go. Then she saw, tucked into a little, out of the way corner, an honest to goodness bookstore. Feeling generous, she surprised Ash with a handful of books – actual, physical books, not digital copies. They ate at Apollo's Café, and amused themselves by trying to pronounce native asari, salarian, and turian food options.

Then, they went everywhere, and at last, Henley began dipping occasionally into the budget reserved for the Normandy. She acquired licenses for a number of unique armor and weapon parts, forwarding them to the ship for fabrication as needed. But at one of the more recreational stores, she found herself mesmerized by one of the larger tanks, containing some sort of eel.

"There's a fishtank in my cabin," she said. Sensing a sale, the merchant ventured over, but Ash snorted.

"Garrus told me how well you took care of them," she teased. "I always thought of fish as being relatively easy to keep alive, but…"

Henley sighed. "Yeah, maybe it's not such a-"

But the merchant was not about to lose a sale. "Elkoss Combine sells a feeding VI," he said, helpfully pointing out the other shop, even while muttering under his breath about licensing fees.

Ashley scoffed. "You really want a…" she squinted at the screen, and her eyes suddenly widened, "ten thousand credit eel?"

The merchant just about choked. "Khar'shan Snapping Eel!" he exclaimed. "One of a kind. Given what little we know of the state of Khar'shan… this very well could be the last of its kind."

"Oh, please," Ash groaned. "As if the Reapers are going to boil the oceans. Once the war's over, you'll have your supply line up and running again in no time. Skipper, you're not really considering this, are you?"

Henley raised her chin in determination, stabbing a finger just a little blindly at the order screen. "Just go get me that feeding VI," she ordered. At last sensing no protest she could come up with would dissuade Henley from her purchase, Ash left, muttering in an odd mix of dismay and amusement. Triumphant, Henley turned back to the order screen, stared at it for a moment with an uncertain frown.

"I thought you said this was ten thousand?" she asked, but Ash was already gone. Then another phrase caught her eye: "Bid amount." She turned to address the shopkeeper, but he was busy with another potential client. She wanted to protest, but knowing the state of the galaxy, this particular eel was a bit of a rarity these days. Was it any wonder he was having potential buyers bid on it?

There was a timer counting down? It was into the seconds now. Stubbornly committed now to owning this damned eel, Henley punched in the number: 50,000. She could afford to beat the last bid by 5,000 credits. The screen chimed, displayed [Thank you for your bid!] Satisfied, Henley stood, waited until the bidding closed. By then, the merchant was finished with his other customer.

"I entered a bid," she told him. He checked the system, and his eyes widened.

"You won," he said. "The Edmonton Blood Dragons thank you for your generous donation to their cause." He hesitated for a moment. "While you're in a spending mood, might I still interest you in that eel?"

Several things about this exchange didn't make sense. First, what did an urban combat championship team have to do with a batarian eel? Second, what was she donating to them for? Finally, on top of this 'generous donation,' she still had to pay for the eel? She was quickly beginning to realize that perhaps she hadn't done what she thought she had.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered. "What… exactly did I bid on?"

It took a couple weeks for her delivery to be processed. Owing to the fact that she was the one, the only Commander Shepard, the Edmonton Blood Dragons had wanted to make sure the suit of armor was properly her size. Her team all thought it was hilarious, and with her permission, gathered in her cabin for a demonstration. To the Blood Dragons' credit, the fit was perfect; but silver armor, black joints, and a blood-red dragon was not her idea of suitable battlefield attire. Still,

"That looks badass," Vega said with a grin. "Might give the Reapers second thoughts about coming at you."

She shot him a disparaging look. "Ground forces are little better than networked machines, no independent thought."

No one liked the reminder, but Garrus was the quickest to recover. "Still. They were capable of independent thought once. Seeing that, who knows? Maybe they'll remember how."

"It's very… violent, Shepard," Liara agreed with an approving nod.

With a weary sigh, Henley shrugged her shoulders. "I suppose it wouldn't read well in the news if I won a personalized suit of armor and then didn't wear it."

Tali patted her shoulder. "At least it looks good."

"Sure," Henley said, "but if it…" Her voice trailed off as the suit's systems powered on, linking with her omni-tool. The omni-tool chimed, requesting the addition of the helmet. With another sigh, Henley obliged. Her eyes widened. "Whoa. When they said they personalized this, they meant it." She stared in dismay at her crew. "Tougher, faster, stronger than any armor I've ever had, if the numbers are to be believed."

Whistles and murmurs of approval ran through her team. With a chuckle, Ashley came to the front of the group. "So that settles it. You just got new armor, Skipper."

She shot a glance at the fish tank. "I just can't believe you still got that."

Inside the tank, the Khar'shan Snapping Eel drifted near the water's surface, waiting for the brand new aquarium VI to dispense more food.

"Ash."

"Skipper?"

"Shut up."

A snort. "Ma'am, yes, ma'am!"