**Okay, working on four stories at the same time is so much easier than just one. If I get stuck on one, I just hop on over to the next. Very appealing. Can't say I'll ever do it again, though. It's been too long. Decided on a hot night in July to start making up for it. Hope you all like this one & feel free to check out the other three. They're all complete. All of them are AU. You'll see that I took creative liberties with relationships and things, but what's new about that? :) Disclaimer: I love the characters; I don't own 'em.**
Story's not about Luke being a post-S6 drunk though it may appear that way in the beginning. Not a reunion story. I feel Lorelai made a big mistake in marrying Chris. No shock there. But since her feelings for Luke had gone absolutely nowhere, I feel there are things that very well could have happened. I wanted to explore that. Takes place S7; Lorelai and Chris are married. Rated M. Enjoy.
Ex Marks the Spot
Luke pushed away the shot glass. Buried his face in his forearm.
The music switched on the jukebox and Sheryl Crow's If It Makes You Happy filled the room.
He groaned.
"Luke?"
He didn't answer the gentle call of the man he'd known close to fifteen years. He instead wished that someone would unplug the music box. Sheryl belted out notes that made his impending hangover get a running start.
"Luke?" Joe called again.
"I'm okay," Luke grumbled without lifting his head.
The bartender, Joe, looked around the near-empty room and settled his eyes once again on the man in front of him. A man whose attendance had once only coincided with game and fight nights. He'd drink a few beers, fraternize for a few hours, then settle up and take off.
Now, that guy had empty shot glasses lined up in front of him. If Joe didn't know him, he wouldn't think anything of it. Guy coming in and ordering tequila shots wasn't exactly newsworthy in his profession. But for Luke Just-a-Beer Danes, it was something to take notice of.
"Hey, Son, let me call you a cab, okay?"
"No, thanks."
"You're not in any shape to drive tonight."
"I said no thanks," he said again more resolutely. "I've never been too drunk to drive, and tonight is no different."
"Well, there's a first time for everything, ya know. One of the first things you learn in life," said the old timer.
Luke snorted. Despite his previous reassurance, he was able to hear Joe grab his cordless. He lifted his head sluggishly. "Joe," he said in warning.
"Relax." He began dialing. "I'm not calling for a taxicab," he said with his noteworthy show of forbearance.
Luke nodded. "Oh, sorry." He fumbled for his wallet and ended up putting all he had on the counter. It turned out to be just enough, minus tip.
Joe cleaned the counter as he waited for an answer. Moving eyes to Luke, he saw him rock, lean, and then lie back on the counter while clutching his head. The phone rang five or six times before someone answered.
He talked for a while. Hand went from his head, to his hip, and finally to the back of his neck during the conversation. He hung up and turned back with a sigh.
Luke stood up. "Alright. Looks like I'm done for the night, Joe." He pointed to his small stack of bills. "Remind me to double the, uh…tip next time I come in, okay?"
Joe glanced at the money and shook his head. "We're okay. Don't you worry about it."
"No, I…" Luke moved an inch and had to grasp the counter. "Damn room's spinning."
"Careful."
He rubbed his face several times to rid himself of as much intoxication as he could. "Anyway, you know I'm good for it, don't you?" he asked of the money.
Joe stared at him in concern. "Yeah," he answered honestly. "I know you're good for the money."
He nodded. "Good…that's um…" He patted his pockets and scanned the counter. "That's, uh, good…" he said distractedly. He dipped low and checked under the stools. "You seen my keys? Lost 'em I think."
Joe moved around the bar and directed him back onto his stool. He was wobbling to the point of embarrassment. "Don't worry about your keys. Just sit here for a little while, okay?"
Luke sat back down as told. "Lost my keys," he mumbled. He leaned on the counter in disappointment. "How am I supposed to get into my apartment without my keys?" He hit the side of his head lightly with his fist. "How could I be so stupid as to lose my keys?" He looked over at Joe who was now sitting next to him. "Those keys open everything. They open all of my stuff." He shook his head. "Oh, this is bad. This is bad."
Joe finally interjected. "The keys are safe, Luke. You didn't lose them. I'm just holding them for you, is all."
Luke turned bloodshot eyes to him. "You took my keys?" Joe nodded. Luke looked at him quizzically. "Is that legal?" He answered his own question. "That's not legal. You can't take my keys, Joe. You can't steal my property. It's not right." He lowered his head wearily onto the counter. "Never took you for a thief, Joe." He sighed, relaxed. "Guess you never really know people, you know?"
Joe nodded. "True to some degree," he contributed.
Luke continued on, just speaking in normal tones. "You can spend your whole life with somebody and never really know who they are. Did you know that?"
"Yeah, it happens. It's a shame."
Luke laughed a little. "Shame? It's a little more than a shame. It's scary. It's damn scary is what it is. I mean, look at you. You're a key thief, and all this time I never knew."
Joe smiled. "I only do it when I have to."
"Well, you need to stop it. You can end up in jail, Joe. And believe me, jail is no place for you. I've been there. I know."
Taken by surprise, he asked, "You've been in jail, Luke? Never took you for the type."
Luke shifted, opened his sluggish eyes for a minute. "Yeah, I'm the type apparently. About 4 years back I was in there. First wife." He chuckled. "Got a lot of woes when it comes to women, Joe." His smile faded and he sat up. Sighed. "Enough to make a man go crazy." He looked around. "Crazy, crazy, crazy." He laughed and pointed up, toward the music that was coming from everywhere in the room. "This guy knows what I'm talking about."
Joe quirked a smile and they both listened in the Gnarls Barkley song until it went off.
"Who is that?" asked Luke.
Joe shrugged. "No clue."
"I like him."
"Yeah, he's alright."
"I don't like a lot of music, you know. Most of it's just noise." He grimaced as he thought of all he'd been subjected to while living with Jess. "Jeez."
Joe gave firm agreement on that. "No argument here. Most stuff gets played in here, I just have to tune it out. Otherwise, I'd go insane with all that racket."
Luke stared at the countertop in thought for a moment. He smiled a bit. "Lorelai'd listen to a lot of weird stuff. Kinda broadened my, uh…uh…"
"Horizons?"
He snapped in recognition. "There it is. Thanks."
"Happens to me all the time. Stuff dropping out of my head left and right. Getting worse as the years pass, too."
"Something to look forward to?" Luke asked lazily.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg."
Luke nodded. Seemed to consider that. He met Joe's eyes. Changed subject without warning. "Do you know that my last TWO exes cheated on me? Two! Not one, but two. That's gotta be a record. An embarrassing, humiliating record. TWO of my exes. The second things went…went, uh, sour, they didn't hesitate to run out and jump in another guy's bed. Definitely gotta be a record, Joe."
Joe's gaze suddenly landed on something just past Luke's head. It took long, drawn out seconds for Luke's saturated brain to finally realize that he was staring at something worthy of his attention.
After a slow and methodical turn of his head, he locked eyes with Lorelai. She had just walked up and was standing next to him.
He stared at her for seconds. She did the same. It'd been months since he had been so close to her, and he was still able to determine that the guarded look she wore wasn't exactly one of bliss.
"What are you doing here?" he asked a bit rudely. Suspicion and surprise all rolled into one. His recent topic choice also had specks of disgruntlement mixed in.
Lorelai sighed. Seemed to bottle words and emotions. "Are you about ready?" she asked him tightly.
He frowned at her. Frowned without shame or apology. "Ready for what?"
Lorelai looked to Joe. Without a word, she asked him for assistance. He jumped in immediately and had her folding her arms and stepping back gratefully.
"Hello?"
"Hey. Lorelai, Sweetheart, this is Joe. Sorry to call you so late at night, but I have a situation down here at the bar. Could use a little help."
"No, it's fine, Joe. What's wrong?" she asked with immediate concern.
"Well, it's Luke. He's had a few too many, and he's not wanting to take a cab home. I'm sure you've gotten plenty acquainted with his stubborn streak by now, so I don't have to tell you that I'm not having much success getting him to listen to reason. If you could come pick him up, I'd be much obliged."
"Oh, no. Joe…I…" Slight pause. "Luke and I are…" She sighed. "We're not together anymore."
"Oh boy." He turned and observed Luke just for a moment before turning back around. "Well, that certainly explains a lot."
Lorelai moved past the sudden need to question. "I haven't even seen him in months, so I don't know how much help I could offer." Her fingers combed her hair in nervous energy. "Maybe I can give you the number for his sister. She's about 20 minutes away, but she could-"
"No, no, don't you go putting yourself through any trouble. Sorry I called. Had I known…"
"No, it's no trouble at all. I'm just…" She sighed. "Trying to think. Um…"
"Hey, don't worry about it, okay? Just forget the phone call," he requested kindly. "I'll figure something out, even if I have to take him home after I close up," he said with a smile in his voice. "You have yourself a good night."
Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut. "Wait, Joe."
"I'm still here."
She stood up from her sofa and went to the desk where her keys were. She slipped on some sandals and responded with, "Give me five minutes. I'm on my way now."
"You're what?"
"On my way," she repeated with defeat.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" he asked.
Lorelai stopped by the front door and took a deep breath. "That's another conversation all together, Joe."
He chuckled softly. "Okay."
"Just keep him there and out of that truck."
"I'll do that. And sorry about dragging you into-"
"Hey, no more apologies, you."
"Okay," he acquiesced. "See you in a bit."
Lorelai hung up the phone, took a deep breath, and opened her door. "What the hell are you doing, Lorelai?" she whispered. With thoughts swirling, she hurried to her jeep.
"Luke," Joe began with a hand to his shoulder. "Lorelai's here to give you a lift. She's going to drop you off at home, okay? That okay with you?"
Luke ran a hand back through his hair. He spoke with patience toward Joe, but his volume wasn't concealed. "I tell you not to call me a cab, and you call her?" Joe looked from him to Lorelai and back again. Luke chuckled. "Shoulda just let you call the cab, Joe," he stated.
Lorelai scoffed, turned her head to the opposite side of the room. "Why am I here?" she asked under her breath. She fought the urge to just turn and walk back out the door.
"What'd you say?" he questioned.
She didn't answer him.
He faced front. "Guess you're here to save the day," he commented with disinterest.
Lorelai saw the multiple shot glasses in front of him. She ended up lowering her eyes with a sigh. Luke mistook that exhalation.
"What, am I holding you up? Are you ready to get home? Tired of waiting?" He paused as sudden laughter struck. It faded within seconds. He looked at her then, a smirk covering his lips. "Considering my audience, I can just about guess which one is more accurate." Even through his drunken state, he saw the flash of pain in Lorelai's eyes. He knew of the need for an apology, but he was too drunk to feel the sting of her expression.
Lorelai steeled herself and looked away when she only heard more laughter. "Relax," was Luke's carefree and slurry sounding advice. "It was a joke. I was kidding with you. Let's not go dredging up stuff, right?"
Lorelai instantly swallowed what felt like a lump forming in her throat. She made an effort to sound unaffected. "Do you need a ride or not?"
Luke moved his glasses around. "Not. I'm not the one who called you."
Joe looked between them, wondering what mess he'd created. "Look, Lorelai, why don't you-"
"I'll just go," she said. Her eyes went to Luke's profile, then to Joe. "See ya."
Luke turned attention to her. "Get home safe, Lorelai," he said with sincerity that made her pause. He faced the bar again and continued sliding around his empty glasses. He hummed lyrics to the Tim McGraw song that now played.
Lorelai, halfway turned toward the exit and him, stared at him. She picked apart his words and searched for derision that'd make it easier for her to leave. She found nothing. Nothing that made it easier, that is. His words were kind and uncompromisingly protective.
As if there was no resentment and emotional blockades when it came to her well-being.
She turned back to the bar and sat. Did that without thinking about it. "Joe, can I get a beer, please?"
"Coming right up."
Luke seemed to climb out of his own world to notice she'd taken a seat next to him. "What are you doing?" he asked with disapproval.
Joe made it to the other side of the counter and passed her a brew. "What does it look like?" she asked, almost meekly. She was far out of practice communicating with him. "I'm thirsty," she explained before taking a sip.
He watched her questioningly for a long moment as she faced forward. "So…you're just…gonna sit here now?" he asked with obvious confusion.
"Yeah."
Pause. "Why?"
She twirled her bottle around and around as she stared down at it. Her voice was quiet but sure. "Well, you're not ready to leave with me yet, so I'll sit here until you are."
"You may be sitting here a while," he said candidly.
She didn't seem bothered. "Guess it's good I didn't leave anything on the stove, then."
He shook his head. "You don't have to do this, you know? I'm okay. And I'm capable of taking care of myself."
"Never said you weren't."
He gestured over to her then let his arm, which felt oddly heavy, fall to the counter. "You're saying it now. By being here. By coming here."
"If I hadn't come, would you have gotten into a cab?"
"What difference does it make?"
"Answer the question."
He rolled his droopy eyes. "Doesn't matter what I would have done. It's got nothing to do with you anymore, now does it?"
She wrapped her fingers tightly around her bottle. "Fine, I'll answer it for you. You wouldn't have gotten into a cab. You wouldn't have done the next best thing and let Joe take you home. You would've tried to drive or walk or something else you can't do in a straight line right now, all because you're too pigheaded to listen to anyone."
Luke chuckled, shook his head. "Sounds like fightin' words, Ms. Gilmore. Doubt you wanna go there."
"I'm trying to make a point," she reasoned.
"Is it even Gilmore anymore? Never thought to ask."
"Luke."
"No. No Luke. You're here. You're drinking. We're buddies here at the bar. Tell me, buddy, what do I call you now?"
She met his eyes. Met the remarkable blue eyes that could once see down into her soul. "Let's not do this," she told him with brevity.
Luke snorted. Brought his hand to the bridge of his nose and told her with the same succinctness, "Feel free to leave when you finish that beer."
His words stiffened her. She felt rejection all over again—the kind that only he could give. She used the following seconds to remember why she'd turned around in the first place. She remembered his caring regard, the one that reminded her that they had once meant so much to each other. That had to count for something.
"I'm not leaving."
Luke looked at her. "Just go home, Lorelai," he said, sounding insanely close to sobriety. "You have a life, remember? And this isn't it."
She lifted her beer and took a drink. "If you're so concerned about my life," she began with traces of annoyance with him, "then you'll get off that stool and let me take you home so I can get back to it."
His jaw tightened, and his sudden anger made his alcohol-weary body sway off balance. He had to lean forward more. "So what, you trying to hurt me now?" he growled.
Lorelai's brows wrinkled. "What? Of course not!"
"Sounds like it to me."
She leaned forward and dropped her face in her hands. "God!" she yelled, allowing her palms to muffle the sound.
He rolled his eyes away from her. "Joe, give me one more, will ya?" he asked with a point to his glass collection.
Joe shook his head. "Sorry, Son, you've had enough for tonight. Besides, you're out of money, remember?" he added.
Luke sighed with irritation. "Lorelai?" he called evenly and gestured toward Joe.
She dropped her hands and frowned upon realizing what he meant. "You're kidding right?" she asked with disbelief.
"It's five damn dollars! You know I'm good for it," he countered.
"Yeah, Luke, because it's the money that I'm worried about!" she exclaimed in sarcasm.
"Jeez," he mumbled. He clenched his jaw. "Let's just go." He climbed off the stool quickly and knocked into the one next to him, sending it crashing to the floor. He swore as he leaned down to get it. He carefully erected it in its rightful spot, and all eyes were on him as he walked over to the door unceremoniously.
When he pushed the door open and stumbled outside, Lorelai turned back, promptly paid her small tab, and hurried outside after him.
Luke was in the middle of the parking lot looking around. He turned to find Lorelai. "Where are you parked?" he asked.
She glanced at him uneasily before reaching in her purse for her keys. "Right over here," she said as she moved toward a newer model Volvo.
He twirled around and took in the car she pointed out. "This is your car?" he asked incredulously. "What happened to the jeep?"
"Nothing. It's just…being used." She motioned toward him over the hood as she opened her door. "It's unlocked." Luke still stood there. Lorelai put one foot inside and then paused as she met his eyes over the hood. "What's wrong?"
He crossed his arms. "You came to pick me up in his car?"
Lorelai sighed, leaned onto the car. "It's my car, too," she answered patiently.
"Oh, that's crap!" he exclaimed suddenly and then lost a little of his balance. He wobbled. "Don't give me any of that 'what's his is mine and vice versa' bullshit." He pointed at the car. "This is his car, Lorelai. You came to pick me up in his car!" he bellowed. He paused and only saw her shake her head in defeat. He suddenly had too much anger than he knew what to do with.
He turned away from the car and came back, eyeing the exterior. Ignoring the very strong desire to test out the Volvo's panels, he directed his rage inward and snatched open the door instead. Lorelai watched in silence as he angrily climbed inside, shaking the entire car as he did so. She still leaned on the hood. He slammed the door, and she stayed staring over the hood as she heard him assaulting his seat belt and swearing.
After a few seconds, when things had seemingly calmed down, Lorelai joined him inside the car.
She started the engine, allowed it to run for close to a minute, and took a deep breath before looking over at him.
He stared out the windshield.
"I, um…"
"Don't bother, okay? I don't want to hear it."
"Okay, that's fair. But can I just tell you that it was a choice of picking you up in this car or leaving you here and not coming at all?"
"That's not a choice," he replied tightly.
"It is to me."
He turned his menacing look to her. "Well, it's not to me. You had to have known this would hurt, Lorelai. You're not that dense."
"You're right," she agreed scathingly. "My number one mission these days is finding ways that I can hurt you. I go to bed at night and dream up little creative ways to break your heart over and over again, Luke. I even keep a little notepad by the bed because, Heaven forbid I wake up the next day and forget the details!"
He gritted his teeth. "Take me home. Now."
She put the car in gear before he could even finish his request. "With pleasure," she muttered.
They drove in silence for only a minute. A minute that Luke sat brewing.
"You're starting to fog up the windows over there. Might think about taking some deep breaths," Lorelai said lightheartedly.
He didn't respond.
She looked back to the road for several seconds, then glanced down at the radio. "Is there anything you want to listen to?" she asked softly.
He went from looking out the windshield to leaning his head back on the seat. He closed his eyes to the roof of the car.
Lorelai sighed and turned away from him. "Guess not," she whispered.
"Why did you come tonight?" Luke asked suddenly.
Lorelai took a moment before answering. "Because you needed help," she explained carefully.
He faced her with coldness in his eyes. "Forget what I needed. Why did you come tonight?" he asked again. "Why?"
She stayed facing the road. "You needed help, Luke. I was asked to help, and I did. It's as simple as that."
He scoffed. "Don't give me that. Nothing is ever simple when it comes to you and me, Lorelai. Nothing."
"Well, this is!"
He shook his head as he looked out the window. "This is a mistake is what it is. You shouldn't have come tonight. You're not my emergency contact; you're not my anything, and I don't know why you even came. You should have stayed out of it."
Lorelai could feel her heart rate speed up. She swallowed and tried to speak as carefree as possible. "Guess that rules out any parting gratitude when I drop you off."
"You should have just stayed the hellout of it," he repeated through his teeth.
"Well, it's too late for that now, isn't it?" she asked tritely.
He narrowed his eyes in anger and kept them facing outside. "And I don't want you thinking this is who I am now. 'Cause it's not. It's one night. One damn night. Just had a tough day today, and everyone has tough days."
"I know that, Luke." Even though she was agitated, her tone showed true understanding on the subject.
"April gets sick, and you're there. Somebody tells you I'm too drunk to drive, and you're there." He looked at her. "I just need you to stop being there. You're out, aren't you? That's the impression I got when you walked away and married somebody else anyway. If you're out, be out," he finished harshly.
Lorelai shook her head, increased speed by 5 mph as her breathing noticeably sped up.
Luke mumbled under his breath.
Lorelai swore under hers. Reached over and flicked the radio dial in a way that suggested she needed a distraction right away.
He bit his tongue for a long moment then spoke above the music. "Good idea," he began dryly. "Not like I can't talk louder." He rolled his eyes.
Lorelai turned the music off and gripped the wheel. "Luke, you are so drunk right now." She worked on calming herself. "Like really, really drunk. And I'm working hard to keep that in mind. Working harder than Lindsay Lohan's publicist and to be honest, I'm about at my breaking point. I am begging you to let this be a silent trip starting now."
He shook his head at her words. Lowered the attitude considerably and answered with a tired and conciliated, "Whatever you want."
Lorelai waited for a long moment before releasing the tension in her shoulders. She took a breath. For the second time that night, Luke had waited until she was a split second from losing it before reminding her that when it came down to it, he would always be Luke.
Suddenly, she could think of nothing except her words to him and his resulting feelings.
"Look, I didn't mean that the way it came out, okay?" she began. "You, of course, have the right to say whatever you want to say. I'd just rather hear it when most of your better judgment isn't drowning in 100 Proof liquid."
He remained motionless, now leaning against the window with eyes closed.
"Luke?" she called quietly when he didn't respond. Nothing. Seconds more passed by, and Lorelai asked in a softer voice, "Did you hear what I said?"
The pause lasted long enough to indicate he hadn't. But finally, he came in with an answer of, "Yeah."
Lorelai's guilt made it feel like she had jumped down his throat unprovoked. "Okay, good. Kinda lost my cool for a second there, but I don't want you to-"
"Lorelai." He opened his eyes to her. "Can you make up your mind, please? You want it quiet or don't you?"
She still had her mouth open from where he'd interrupted her rudely. With his question lingering in the air, she rolled her eyes away from him and shook her head at herself for being so weak. "Forget it," was her forlorn response.
"Doesn't answer my question. Are we talking or not; which one is it?"
"I'm done. I am so done," she said with finality.
"Meaning?" She only continued to shake her head. "What does that mean?" he pressed. She ignored him. He snorted. "Guess it's pretty obvious. We both know it doesn't take much for you to give up on me, does it?"
Lorelai flew past the Welcome to Stars Hollow sign and didn't acknowledge the slower speed limit.
Luke's impaired state caused him to take notice of her speed much later than it normally would have. His brow wrinkled. "You're driving way too fast. This is Stars Hollow; school zone speed limit all through town, remember?"
She slowed only to round a curve then picked up speed once again.
"Lorelai, you're driving too fast; slow down before you get a ticket," he said with more gravity. Little did he know, if the police were out there, she would have been pulled on the way to pick him up. She had made it there in record time out of fear that he'd do something stupid like try to drive home. Currently, she had no desire to get to him as quickly as possible; her concern was now the very opposite.
She turned another corner and made it to the center of town. Luke looked at her like she was insane as she screeched to a stop in front of the diner.
She looked out the window and not at him. "Can you make it up okay?" she asked frigidly.
Feeling the night wearing on him in an instant, Luke turned away, immediately putting the events in the past. "I can make it upstairs fine."
"Great." She pointed to his passenger door. "Goodnight."
He pulled the handle to exit. "Yeah, you too."
When he shut the door, Lorelai immediately put the car in gear and prepared to race off. She battled with her instincts. Fought them hard and lost. Ended up holding down the brake pedal and watching out for Luke until he was safely inside the diner.
With that worry gone, her anger returned full force. She hit the accelerator at once and pulled off, causing a screeching sound that her jeep was never able to achieve. She headed home with his words in her head.
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Lorelai walked around her home the following day. She'd just gotten off the phone with Christopher, and he'd told her to expect him home from his business trip later that night.
She was grateful.
Christopher home would give her something else to focus on. It'd help her deal with the problem area of her life, which his presence always helped to mollify. Luke. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't get past her night with him. The words he'd said. The anger. His cold stares. Her silence, which she felt only made him feel more justified in his behavior.
Earlier that day, she was at the inn. She took time to run Sookie through the events of her night and welcomed her perspective. Sookie delivered. Gave advice that made it much easier to get on with her workday. Sookie reminded her of how Luke was now a part of her past. There was pain there and a lot of unfinished business. However, she had moved on and found love again with her first love. There was no need to start stressing herself over things that was better off left in a past she couldn't change. It was best to just let it be. She commended Lorelai for being there for him when he needed it the most, but she made sure to warn her against future incidents.
It was obvious to Lorelai that Sookie's advice was based on things that she, herself, had once told her. Things that Sookie had doubted the accuracy of many, many times. Despite the realization, her advice helped. It wasn't until after she left the distraction of her workplace that the previous night's stress reemerged.
So, once again, all she could hear was Luke's voice. Luke's angry, drunken voice spewing hurtful words that played havoc with her mind.
At one point, she turned on the TV and ended up closing her eyes to it as she formulated arguments for the accusations that swirled around her head.
She curled into a ball on the couch adorned in her Juicy sweats. Closed her eyes yet again, this time to summon sleep. All she got was the inability to sleep due to the constant blame she'd heard.
Night came and she grew so restless. She sat on the couch and bounced her leg, looked to the clock, and asked herself what was keeping Chris.
8pm.
9pm.
10pm.
She went for the phone. Needed her husband. Needed the man who'd taken her hand in marriage when another one wouldn't.
She dialed his number, thinking of how she hadn't seen him in almost two days. She dialed his number thinking of the distraction that she had never needed so badly in her life.
After holding the phone to her ear for seconds, an automated voice told her the subscriber was out of the area. Lorelai hung up before the voicemail prompt.
She ran her fingers through her hair and leaned against the wall. All thoughts circled around Luke. She could feel her emotions spiraling out of reach, and she searched for steady ground as she looked around and caught sight of objects that signified her union with Christopher.
Nothing helped. Nothing mattered. And before long, she was on the outside of her home. Driving, then stopping, then exiting and holding in tears of anguish.
The diner was dark.
For a second, she located her rational state of mind and almost turned back. The second passed and then she found herself closing the diner's door quietly behind herself and laying the key on the counter on her way upstairs.
She made it within feet of the apartment door and stopped. Paused there for a long time. Just listened to the sound of Luke's TV. Sports. ESPN. He always listened to ESPN while winding down from his day.
Lorelai breathed deep. She treated each step forward like it was something to be conquered. Her knuckles hit the glass rapidly. The television noise went away. At that silence, she knocked again. She knew Luke would have paused to see if he was hearing things. His apartment door wasn't exactly accessible to the public.
His footsteps went away from the door. Then toward the door. He opened it fast and had the middle of a baseball bat squeezed tightly in his right palm.
His eyes landed on Lorelai's face, and he eased his hold on the bat and let out the biggest breath of relief. He clutched his chest and frowned at her. "How the hell did you get up here?"
Lorelai held back all that she had to say. Answered his question with a point over her shoulder. "The key over the door for emergencies."
He locked eyes with her, narrowed them a bit as if asking her if her presence was emergency-related. Judging by his look, he'd already assumed it wasn't.
Lorelai locked her jaw, held his stare. "I need to talk to you," she said bitterly.
"So, that's why you thought it was okay to break in here?"
They stared at one another for seconds. Finally, Luke rolled his eyes and stepped away from the door. Lorelai moved inside, her arms immediately folding across her chest.
Luke shut the door and walked past her on the way to return his bat to its proper place. "So, what is this about?" he asked curiously.
Lorelai braced herself. "Last night, Luke…you said a lot of things," she began quietly, "and I-I don't know if you meant them or if you were trying to hurt me or what." She paused and moved her eyes from his face, down to the floor, and back to his face. "But I need to know. I need to know how much of this you think is my fault. Because it sounded like you-"
"So, you came here for an apology," he gathered.
"No, that's not it."
"Then, what is?"
Lorelai sighed. "I don't know," she answered truthfully. "I guess I just need…to know how you feel. Sober." She paused. "We've never been given the chance to talk about any of this, and maybe it's time we do that, you know?"
Luke shrugged his shoulders like the whole thing was a waste of time. "And what's the reason behind this? What's this supposed to do?"
"I don't know!" she exclaimed helplessly. "I didn't come here with everything mapped out, Luke." She dropped her arms at her sides. "Last night just made me realize that we both have things to say. We can't leave things hanging in the air forever. We need closure so we can move on and-"
"Oh, I see what this is about," he interrupted. "This is you clearing the road, right? Knocking away any and everything that stands in the way of your happy new middle."
"Luke, that's not-"
"No," he said lightly while shaking his head. "It's fine. You don't have to clean it up at all. If that's what you want to do, then by all means, let's do it." He put his hand to his chest. "I don't want to stand in your way here." He paced a little. "Let's see, where can we start?" He stopped and looked at her. "Apologies right?"
Lorelai looked sullen. She just bit her tongue and let him have the floor.
"Apologies…apologies...definitely owe you an apology about last night." He thought. "Can't remember much of what I said, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty. Considering. Ya know, come to think of it, I do remember wanting to put a dent in the Volvo. There's something I can apologize for. Let's see what else…" He started pacing again. Started to throw in a satiric compilation of all they'd been through before the split but couldn't bring himself to do so. The thought of turning that into a joke sobered him instantly.
He stopped again. Allowed his true grief to show. "Am I right? You want us to shake hands and agree to be friends so you can move on without guilt?"
More than willing to talk to this Luke, she was quick to answer. "This has nothing to do with Christopher. It's about you and me and how we've been friends for over ten years and now we don't have a relationship at all."
"Well." He shrugged. "Life goes on, right?"
"You can't mean that."
"Oh, yes I can. And I do," he said calmly. "The same way you can pick up and move on with your life two minutes after we broke up, I can move on with mine. I mean, it has been six months. So, that means I'm, what?" he pretended to think, "six months behind in the race, but I can still make a decent comeback."
She lost her cool. "See, this is exactly what you did last night, and I accepted it," she began with a cracking voice, "Because you were drunk and you were stupid-"
He scoffed loudly, turned away. "Give me a-"
"No, I took it, then!" The finger she jabbed in his direction, she turned it to herself. "But I will not play the bad guy in this! You contributed to this too, Luke!"
He turned back, hands on hips. "I know that," he said tightly. "I know I made mistakes."
"Well, say that then! Stop taking jabs at me like I went and cheated on you while you were out putting a deposit on our honeymoon suite!"
"Guess that's what it all boils down to, isn't it? Putting off a stupid wedding!"
"Stupid wedding?"
"Lorelai, I was committed to you!" he roared. "I would have never cheated on you! Ever! You were my life! Even now…even now," he stressed through his teeth, "I can't move on with my life because I'm thinking about you," he said gesturing towards her with disdain. "You can't even begin to imagine how that feels!"
She nodded fast, looked around the room like she couldn't bear to look at him. She appeared to tremble everywhere. "I was your life…" she repeated. Even her voice shook. Finally, she looked back to him with tears filling her eyes. "I was your life, and yet the second you found out you had a kid, I got pushed away, sidelined, put in third place, because April and Anna got the first two spots. That's how you treat the love of your life?"
"She's my daughter, Lorelai! What the hell was I supposed to do? Continue on with my life like normal and maybe call her once a week like Rory's standup dad did her?"
"You didn't have to push me away, Luke. You made me feel so unimportant in your life. You didn't include me, you didn't ask how I felt about anything; you didn't even tell Anna about me until you had to. You took April all the way to Philadelphia and introduced her to Jess before you bothered extending the same courtesy to your fiancée! I wasn't in your life anymore! The moment you got April, you didn't need me!"
"Jeez, Lorelai, how can you say that?"
"How could you make me feel like that?" she asked, crying.
He was quiet for a moment. He looked down to the floor as Lorelai's sobs filled the room. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Look…I know I was wrong. I make no excuses for how I handled that situation. I was wrong." He looked up and saw her wiping tears from her face with the sleeve of her shirt.
"I deserved the time to make it right, though. And you didn't give me that."
"I gave you time."
"You gave me seconds," he said with rising anger.
"I gave you time. It doesn't matter how much. One second or one year, when you see someone you love hurting as much as I was, you act. You don't let them walk away from you. You stood there and didn't say one word when I gave you that ultimatum. Not. one. word."
"Yeah, well, that's what shock will do to you," he stated flippantly. "Who gives ultimatums to people? How often does that crap work?"
She stared at him. "Well, I'd never been crazy enough about anyone to do such a thing until then, so I can't really say."
Luke rolled his eyes away. "Yeah, I'm awful. I'm Satan. Earlier, you said I was playing the guilt trip and now you're doing a bang up job of flipping the script, aren't you?"
"I'm not."
"You are." He locked his gaze on hers. "You didn't want to fix us. You had no intentions of even trying. Christopher's favorite pastime used to be screwing you over. And you kept going back. Time and time again. The one time I messed up, that was it. You were done. But guess who was there to pick up where I left off."
She lowered her head, closed her eyes as tears fell.
"Does it hurt you for me to say that?" he asked. "Well just take a guess at how the hell I feel, Lorelai!"
She lifted her eyes to him and tried to stop her soft crying. She only managed to lessen it. "I didn't do it to hurt you, Luke. I didn't-"
"What if I had done it? The first time we broke up. What if I'd gone and slept with an ex because I was just so pained?" He leaned toward her from across the room. "Hm? What would that have been like? What if I had slept with an ex an hour after leaving you standing in Doose's Market still trying to piece together what'd happened? While you were having whatever reaction that caused you to call me the next night, what if I'd been in someone else's bed doing all-"
"Okay, Luke! Stop!"
He shook his head. "See, that's all you have to say." He took a step toward her. "Stop. And it ends for you. You tell me to stop talking and all that torture stops dead in its track. Well, imagine not having that damn safety word!" His eyes looked mad. "Do you know how many nights I closed my eyes and saw you with him, Lorelai? Do you have any idea how close that came to killing me?" He watched her cry harder. "And you knew it would hurt like hell! You knew it would! You knew it when you were driving over there, and you knew it when you laid in his bed, and he climbed on top of you! You knew it!"
"It had nothing to do with you, though," she managed to get out. "Not with hurting you."
He clenched his jaw. Seemed to mock her. "Oh, I'm sorry, were there feelings there? Were you acting out deeply buried desires?"
"Of course not!"
"Obviously so. You're married to him now, aren't you? He married you and turned you into an honest woman…something I dropped the ball on, apparently, so all's well that ends well."
"Just stop, okay? I get the point." She let out a few sobs. "You're hurt, I'm hurt, we're both hurt."
He glared at her. "You don't know what hurt is."
She gave him the greatest look of disbelief. "So, now, my pain is trivialized next to yours? What you did to me is a minor inconvenience compared to what I did to you? Tell me how that's fair, Luke!"
"Don't try to twist my words."
"I'm regurgitating your words!"
He pursed his lips momentarily. "Let's talk more about your dream guy, shall we?"
"Will you just stop it?"
"I know he has to hate living in that house. House that I helped to fix up. It probably kills him. But anything to keep you happy, I guess." He cut her off as she tried to speak again. "If for any reason you needed closure to move on with your life, Lorelai, then consider this it. Pack up your house, your husband, all your millions of dollars, and feel free to move far the hell away from Stars Hollow and away from me."
She rose her teary eyes to him and tried to gauge the level of anger still inside of him versus sincerity.
"It's probably for the best anyway," he continued. He folded his arms. "It'd definitely help me to move on with my life, that's for sure." They stared at one another. Luke's cold eyes made it hard for Lorelai to hold that contact. "The sooner, the better," he added casually.
Lorelai hated that he could still hurt her so badly. "Luke -"
"Or maybe I'll leave." He considered that and seemed to like the idea. "That's what I promised to do anyway, right?"
"You're thinking of leaving now?" she asked tiredly.
"Not thinking. Going to. I just decided. And it's way better than this shit, so yeah. Best idea I've had in a while, actually."
"Where are you going?" she asked quietly.
"Away from here. That's all that matters. A month tops, and I'm gone." He swallowed hard as she met his eyes. "Well, this may be goodbye for good, so…see ya."
"I know you're not serious," she replied with sadness that proved she wasn't sure.
"Anything else?" he followed without care.
"Luke," she said more gravely.
"Bye, Lorelai."
"I don't-"
"Bye, Lorelai," he said again with a nod toward the door.
"I just think you're-"
"Lorelai!" He glowered. Their eyes met and he very intentionally looked over at the door then back at her. "I. said. goodbye."
She took a step backward, her eyes still on his. Her features twitched, and Luke could see the pain. She turned quickly so he wouldn't see her cry further. Its sound came, though and ripped Luke's heart to pieces. What he felt was instant torment. He told himself to let her go. Just let her…
He rushed to the door. Made it there just as Lorelai opened it. She cried more openly as he stood behind her, preventing her from opening the door further than a few inches.
For seconds he said nothing. Then whispered, "I'm sorry." He pulled her backwards and turned her toward him. In a bold, hasty movement, Luke wrapped her in an embrace.
Lorelai hugged him back. Just slightly. Accepted comfort for all the horrible emotions making a paper tower of her stability.
She cried into his shoulder. Luke's hold grew tighter. With that, Lorelai went from casual reciprocation to a more intimate embrace. Her arms overlapped over his shoulders. She accepted their closeness. Felt him in a way that she knew wasn't supposed to happen, but she let it.
Her sobs continued until they didn't. By then Luke had started a gentle caress on the back of her head. Her thick curls were bunched in his palm as he took to doing something that, in the past, had always made her smile. And purr.
He didn't think about the latter. Just kept his fingers working.
When he realized that Lorelai was no longer crying, he stopped. It still took them both additional seconds to realize it was time to let go. Separation was mutual. They met eyes, and Lorelai couldn't and didn't hide the recent tears covering her face.
Luke tried to read her but wasn't successful. Her stare was uncompromising. He brought his hand to her face and gently touched wetness. Lorelai sniffled and wiped away her own tears. Grazed his hand in the process.
She lowered her hand to the doorknob behind her. Paused and just stared in his eyes. Then, she pushed the door closed little by little using her body. One step backward, two steps backward. Like an imaginary rope tied them, Luke found himself moving when she did. One step forward, two steps forward.
Lorelai heard the faintest cry of prohibition. Processed tender objections at the new direction her mind was taking. Her principles, as strong as they usually were, bowed easily at the force of her heart's desire.
She reached for him. Pulled him inches closer to her body, which was pressed against the door. She used the tips of her fingers to raise his t-shirt. With her eyes locked on his, she saw the same thing in his bright blue eyes that she felt weighing heavily on her. Hopelessness.
The shirt hit the floor.
Lorelai ran her hands from his shoulders to his ribcage before he closed the remaining distance between them. She felt him. Every part of him. His solid body so close made memories flood in.
She missed him. Missed him very much in this way.
His breaths came fast as he held her. Their lips brushed, but they fought that level of intimacy.
Lorelai moved her hands down his back. Pressed against every strong muscle that he had. She continued down his lower back, into the waistband of his sweatpants and caressed his bare ass.
Luke pulled on her pants and got them low. He freed himself. Focused his hazy eyes on hers when his manhood sprang up against her sex. Lorelai seemed weak against the wall. She held onto him tightly and took the time to step out of her shoes and pants.
She lifted a leg high, wrapped it around his body, and closed her eyes. She swallowed, breathed, braced herself for the moment when the earth would move. Ended up looking into his face again when nothing happened.
She found him re-thinking. Re-considering. And shaking like a leaf against her.
She swallowed again, bit her quivering lip, and whispered his name desperately. Had a tone that begged him to stop thinking so damn much.
She couldn't turn back. Not now. She didn't have to dig deep at all to know that she would not survive turning back from this. She was open and exposed to Luke and already submerged deep in the reality of her choice. She had already resigned herself to the consequences. What she couldn't resign herself to was yet another rejection from him.
His look of uncertainty remained. He appeared to be thinking from every angle. Through Lorelai's torment, she laughingly realized how she'd managed to chain her heart and soul to the only man in history capable of rational thought when standing half-naked between a woman's legs.
She held in tears. Let out a sorrowful breath of air. Her leg slowly descended at his waist side. She looked at him when she felt him gently moving it back in place.
She started to refuse. Started to tell him to leave her alone, go with his own suggestion and move far, far away. Maybe then, they'd both have at least a shot at moving on without constantly thinking of their past.
Before she could utter anything, she felt a possessive grip on her waist. She felt Luke slide into her so very deep. She gasped and clutched at him. Her insides clung to every inch of him. Her body remembered instantly. She adjusted to him instantly. As if it'd been days instead of months.
He started to move. Lorelai expected more anger, more resentment, maybe a tad bit more roughness. Given the givens. What she got was so much more dangerous. She got passion. He held her leg for her, had muscles bulging in his arms and back as he drove into her, making each thrust effectual but painless.
She bit into his shoulder. Rubbed all over his muscular back. She moaned softly and breathed raggedly as he went deeper and hit areas only he'd touched.
She put her tongue at the side of his neck. Sucked softly for only a few seconds before he forced her to stop by moving his neck away.
Lorelai ran a hand through his hair affectionately before she tried again. She sucked his neck passionately for a much longer moment. Eased her hand to the opposite side of his neck and teased the hair there as she started to really get into it. She lifted her mouth for a second, and Luke felt a soft kiss to his chin.
He yanked away again, paused with a tiny tremor and a deep breath, then started moving in and out of her again slowly.
Lorelai came to rest her forehead against his neck. She concentrated on the lower pleasure that he gave to her while just carefully dragging her nails back and forth across the nape of his neck.
One of Luke's hands left her suddenly, and she felt less supported. She tried to reposition herself. She lifted her head without warning and coincidentally glanced into his face where she caught him dabbing at each of his cheeks.
His eyes flashed to hers before he looked down quickly. He ended up closing his eyes, tightening his jaw and continuing to penetrate her.
She stared openly at him while attempting to ignore the enjoyable feel of his thrusts.
Luke could feel her eyes burning into him. He kept going. Swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut harder in concentration. His breathing was heavy. His nose flared and reddened. He dropped his head a little and shook his head in anger as he felt burning tears slip past his lids in betrayal.
He wiped them fast. More came, and he dropped his head down lower. He tried to keep going and not let his flow be affected. He tried but failed. Ended up coming to a stop and breathing deeply as he worked to get a hold of himself.
Lorelai displayed caution. She'd never seen him cry. It broke her heart and scared her at the same time. She used both hands to lift his face. He let her. His eyes remained closed but tears still fell. She wiped his cheeks with her thumbs and then slid her hands further back as she gently pulled his face toward hers. She placed a soft kiss below his eye. Felt fresh tears come down and wet her lips. She repeated it on the opposite side and then brought her lips to his.
She felt him stiffen. Could feel every bit of his internal conflict. But he didn't pull away, so she continued. She kissed his lips so softly. A few of her own tears fell as she continued kissing him, finally with reciprocation. She managed to crack into his weakness for her the same way he'd already cracked into hers.
The kiss grew deep and intense. Luke started moving into her again, and then it was nothing but passion. The kiss changed speed and depth but duration wasn't sacrificed. The tears slowed, then stopped, then dried as they lost themselves in each other up against the glass door.
Lorelai climaxed so fast that Luke didn't have time to prepare. Her body squeezed and squeezed and squeezed him and she moaned helplessly into his mouth as he steadily plunged into her. He fought his release until the last possible second.
He released inside of her. Had her clinging to his body tighter with her limbs and kissing the side of his face. She gave him a moment to succumb and then gave him her tongue again. Soft, slow, sensual. He pulled back and breathed.
Lorelai closed her eyes and her head fell back to the door in exhaustion.
Luke just looked at her as his own breathing evened out.
When she came down, she moaned sweetly in satisfaction. She smiled and opened her eyes to her surroundings. To Luke.
What greeted her wasn't the lazy, sexy look of bliss that used to cover his face after they made love. The look he wore now was one of sadness and humiliation.
Reality hit her hard.
Consequences.
Shame.
Adultery.
Pain on top of pain on top of pain.
The smile left her face almost painfully. Luke pulled out of her and moved away like he was on autopilot. He pulled up his pants and got his shirt from the floor. Dressed himself in no time.
He turned away, muttered, "What did I do?" many times. He stayed turned away, gave Lorelai the opportunity to get decent also.
Lorelai stood against the door fully dressed for two full minutes before he turned back. He found her staring down at the floor with her arms folded so tight over her chest.
From 3+ feet away, he put his hands on his hips. Stared at her while she continued to stare down. The apartment was quiet.
"Lorelai," he called quietly, vacantly.
She looked up at him.
They looked at one another for seconds without saying anything. Luke continued, "You know that this shouldn't have happened, right?" His tone was regretful but unyielding. He told her how it had to be. What both of them had to know was truth. "We both did something…really stupid."
"I know that," she said quietly.
He nodded. Was glad to know they were at least on the same page. "I can't believe I…jeez. I'm sorry for-"
She held up a hand. "Don't apologize, Luke." She shook her head. "Just…don't apologize. Please."
He tightened hi s jaw. "Fair enough." He started thinking again. Seemed to realize something, and it made him rigid. "Are…are you covered?"
She nodded quickly to ease his fears but lowered her eyes from his. "Yeah, don't worry about it," she answered.
He looked only the tiniest bit relieved. Like their problems were much bigger than the possibility of a child.
More silence.
"Um, I better go," said Lorelai.
Luke nodded his okay. Paused before asking quietly, "What are you going to do?"
She looked at him. "I don't know," she replied honestly.
"Are you going to be okay?" he asked weakly. Of course, he already knew the answer. But unlike him, she had more than just herself and her own conscience to deal with. He hated to have contributed to that level of grief.
"I'll deal," she replied without emotion.
Luke appeared helpless, full of guilt. "I made a complete mess of this. I shouldn't have said all that stuff last night or what I said to you today. I'm the one that led everything…to that place. And it was wrong."
She rolled her eyes. "What happened to no apologies?"
"You're married, Lorelai! We both know this was a mistake. If there's no need for apologies, then what does that mean?"
"It means that what happened, happened. Now, we deal with it."
He looked confused. "So, what, no big deal?"
She turned back and almost sounded hysterical as she reminded him, "Of course it's a big deal, Luke! I have to go home and see my husband right now!"
He became defensive. "But no apologies, huh? No regrets? Were you this damn blasé after you slept with him that night?"
"What do you think?" she answered abrasively.
"I don't know what to think!"
"No. The answer is no!"
"You say that like it's obvious. Hell, considering what's hap-"
"Goddamn it!" Lorelai squeezed her fist. "I was done with Christopher, Luke! Done! Completely! It was me and you forever! That's what I wanted. I didn't want Chris. I didn't want anybody but you! What do I have to do to make you understand that?"
He looked down and shook his head.
Lorelai took a moment and calmed down some. Continued with no energy at all. "That night was a mistake. It had nothing to do with him; it had nothing to do with you; it was about me. I was hurting and I needed someone to be there for me."
Luke swallowed. "So, what was this night about, then?"
She delayed answering. When she did, she almost hated to tell him. "Us. You and me. You know that."
He brought his hands to his head, seemed on the brink of insanity. He returned his hands to his hips and spoke with hurt. "Lorelai, why did marry him?" he finally asked.
She sighed. "It's complicated." He repeated that with his reservations clear as day. Lorelai didn't take the bait. Not only did she feel like an empty shell, but the hour was late and she'd already been there way too long. "Look, I have to go," she ended with sorrow.
His tone sour, he responded, "Fine, go."
Both their drained, serious eyes met from across the room.
Lorelai spoke. "We have to really be careful…Luke…'cause this can't happen again. It can't. Not like th-" She cut herself off and bit her tongue. Repeated more stiffly, "This can't happen again."
His eyes narrowed at her. "Oh, don't you worry. It won't happen again," he promised impudently.
She was quiet for seconds, a little stung by his conviction. "Good," she followed in a near whisper. She paused. "H-h-how can we be sure…though?"
He didn't hesitate to answer. "I already told you I'm leaving," he said mulishly.
She didn't say anything as she looked into his eyes. Luke's set jaw indicated that he'd entered his stubborn frame of mind, and she didn't have the strength to battle with it any longer. She took a sharp breath, tossed her hands up, and said a curt, "Fine, have a nice life," before she opened the door and closed it forcibly behind herself.
Luke glowered at the door for a long while before he walked over, locked it, kicked it, and went to get a beer.
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Lorelai pulled into her driveway and put the Volvo in park. She kept the windshield wipers going full blast as she sat there looking out at her jeep.
Christopher was back.
She took a heavy breath. Sniffed back the few tears that had escaped on the way home.
She was already drenched. Hair, clothes, and shoes had taken quite an assault from the heavy downpour as she hurried to the car from Luke's Diner. It'd barely been drizzling when she left home, so it didn't seem too necessary to run back inside for an umbrella.
As she sat there, she ran a hand through her hair and told herself to pull it together. She needed to stay strong and stay focused. Being emotional wasn't going to help anything.
Lorelai opened the car door and pushed it open with her foot as she grabbed her purse. She got out and made a run for it. Almost immediately, her foot twisted off one of the stepping-stones and she fell to her knees in the grass. The muddy, wet puddle that was her lawn.
She thought to laugh. Ended up dropping her face in her hands and crying uncontrollably. The rain pelted her skin and everything around it relentlessly. It drowned out the sounds of her quaking body and its thick, fast falling drops kept her well hidden as she sat crumpled on the ground.
It took a few minutes, but Lorelai finally felt strong enough to stand. She pulled her shoes from her feet and walked barefoot with unhurried steps up to her front porch.
She entered her living room, and Christopher rushed downstairs to greet her.
She smiled. Told him she was fine. Told him how she'd tried to call him when it got late but he was out of area. Said she'd gotten restless, gotten in her car and had gone for a drive. Told him about her fall in the driveway. Told him how exhausted and in need of a shower she was.
He helped her wipe rainwater from her face, not realizing he was wiping away her tears as well.
Lorelai bounded up the staircase. She went inside the bathroom, closed the door, and immediately started running hot water for a shower. Tears came.
She sat on the closed toilet lid and hung her head, stifled her sobs.
All of that came to an abrupt pause when Chris knocked on the door and asked her if she wanted some company. She wiped her face clean and attempted to sound sweet and remorseful. Told him she was too tired. Was just ready to get the shower over with so she could get some sleep. He accepted that with words of adoration and left the door. Left her shaking.
Lorelai peeled off her top layers and dropped them in a wet heap on the floor. She unhooked her bra and threw it over as well. She stepped into the shower. Got directly under the scalding sprays of water and let tears leak from her eyes. She slid her panties down her legs and climbed out of them. With trembling hands, she poured body wash over the material and gently scrubbed away traces of Luke.
She let the water wash away all soap bubbles before she rung them and tossed them on the pile with her other clothes. Lorelai slid to the floor of the tub and rested her forehead on the tops of her knees. She hugged them tightly and just sat.
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
When Lorelai's shower ended, Chris' began.
With him out of eyeshot, she allowed the smiles and phony bliss to fade away. She had so much on her mind, and it affected both her guilt and energy level to put on an act for him.
She went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water before bed. She glanced at the phone as she drank. When done, she flipped off the lights and went back upstairs.
She entered her bedroom and passed by the bathroom door where Chris was singing Semi-Charmed Life. She barely acknowledged the noise at all, so his blatant request for mockery went ignored.
Lorelai sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the closed door. The water was still running and Chris' voice still rang out. Without much contemplation, she went for the phone on her bedside table and dialed Luke's number.
He answered after a few rings.
"Hello?"
Silence.
"Hello!"
Lorelai swallowed. Teared up as the shower cut off in the bathroom.
"I don't know who the hell this is, but if you don't wanna say anything, fine. Goodbye."
"No, wait," Lorelai's quiet voice crackled out.
"Who is this?"
Lorelai watched Chris' shadow move around under the bathroom door. He still sang. She wiped tears from her eyes before they had a chance to fall.
"Who is this?" Luke asked again.
She took a breath and closed her eyes. "Please don't leave Stars Hollow, Luke."
She stayed on the phone a few seconds longer. Used that few seconds to make sure he knew that it was her on the other end. His silence told her he knew and was working out a response.
Lorelai hung up.
She quickly rolled to her side of the bed and got under the covers, wet hair and all. She settled herself just as the bathroom door opened.
"Lorelai?"
She stared at the far wall with unblinking eyes.
"Lorelai?"
She remained quiet.
"Guess you really were tired," she heard Chris mutter with a sigh of disappointment. "Sweet dreams, wife of mine."
Lorelai fought back tears. She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
-The End-
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