Warnings: Slash, Character Death
Length: 2300 words
Comfort for the Living
"Draco! Draco!" Draco could hear Harry coming for him. He'd known the man would, Draco had allowed the hospital to call him when Draco was admitted. Before Harry made it though the door, Draco checked the drape of the hospital blankets over his torso and legs. His side was a disgusting mixture of blood and exposed muscle, and there was no point in healing it. The wound would just speed up his death a little, and that was all to the good.
"Oh, Merlin, I was so worried about you. What happened?"
"Ask a nurse, Harry. That's what they're here for." Selfish, he was being unbelievably selfish, but Draco didn't think he could tell Harry right now. Didn't think he would ever have been able to tell Harry, even if he'd known about this before. "While you're up there, tell her I want to go home. It's not like they are going to do anything else."
Harry nodded and rushed out the room. Draco didn't move, sitting silently in the bed to avoid pulling pain from his back. The Healers would have take care of it for him. Harry would have told him to heal it. But he didn't. A waste of time and energy, when he was dying in less then an hour anyway.
Harry was followed in his return by a nurse from St. Mungo's, an older lady who looked upset. No doubt she had been the one to tell his Harry that he was dying. Harry had the expression to prove he's already been told. Disbelief, mingled with agony and betrayal.
"You can go home, Mr. Malfoy. There is nothing more to be done here." Draco offered the woman a sharp nod, acting easily as if he was just fine. He didn't feel any worse then the wounds on his back would have troubled him, after all. What was killing him would not be all that painful.
"Harry? Apparate us home." Draco made the request sound like an order. Harry needed either something to fight against or obey right now, he couldn't make his own decisions. And for the next half hour, Draco was going to take care of him.
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's midriff, Apparating them straight through the wards around both St. Mungo's and their own flat. Draco could feel Harry's nails against his skin where Harry gripped him, even as Draco led them both back into the living room, sitting them down on the couch. He be damned if he died in their bedroom, Harry wouldn't be able to ever sleep there again. He might not anyway.
Draco dropped the careless, casual mask he had held in place at St. Mungo's. His lover didn't know it, but the fact Draco hadn't appeared frightened would likely make his life easier in the days to come. Harry wouldn't be able to stand people insulting him after he died, he had had enough trouble with it when Draco was alive and strong and able to defend himself. Now though, Harry needed to see how much he loved him. And Draco needed him to see it, needed his lover to know that he wanted nothing more then Harry safe and happy.
"Draco," Harry had seen the change of set to Draco's face. "I'll fix it, I'll do something. Just hold on. Please?" Harry's face broke Draco. Merlin, how could Draco leave him hurting like that? Harry was far to dependant on him, he was far to used to Draco being there to comfort him when things went wrong, Draco should have done something about it long ago. But he'd enjoyed the dependence, the knowledge that he was the one person Harry would do anything not to loose. He really was a selfish bastard.
"For as long as I can Harry. I'd never leave you willingly." Harry had been around him long enough to get the other message, the one Draco couldn't say outright. I can still be taken from you against my will. Harry pulled Draco's body over the where he was sitting on the couch, hugging it sharply towards himself. Draco followed the jerky motion, feeling Harry's need for the closeness. Draco's body was starting to feel sluggish, making his desire to move himself decrease.
Cuddling for a few minutes, Draco considered what he wanted to say to his lover. This was his last chance to speak to his Harry, and he wanted the make sure he said everything that needed to be said. There was a fair amount that he wanted his lover to know.
"Harry, do me a few favors?" A plea, that's what Draco's tone turned the words into. As he spoke, his rubbed his thumb around Harry's thigh, where his hand had fallen when Harry pulled him to himself.
"Anything, Draco. Anything, anything, anything." Draco turned his head into Harry's chest, feeling the thumping there. It was comforting, to hear proof of Harry's health, his physical well being. That sound was worth more then anything in Draco's world. Draco paused, concentrating for a moment on his own body. He could feel the Precious Death Curse running through his body, slowly replacing his blood with molten diamond. After all the blood was gone, his heart would stop beating. He knew that, had known that since before he got hit. After all, that's what he had been doing, hunting down a Dark Wizard who was using the curse on Muggleborns to see if the effect was the same.
"Remember that it's not your fault. None of this is, alright Harry? Someone else cursed me, and I'm the one who didn't put up a shield. Those two people are the only ones that can be blamed. Never you." Draco didn't normally take the blame on himself, but now that wasn't so important. What was important was making sure Harry's happiness didn't die with Draco. Draco couldn't stand being the cause of Harry's guilt.
Draco could see black creeping into the edges of his vision. Not the black of unconsciousness or death, but that of blindness, of loosing your ability to detect the light around you. The Precious Liquid Curse also changed any other fluids in your body, and it was changing his tears. With every word he spoke, he could feel forming words get harder. His mouth was being filled with the stone.
Harry gave Draco a look, one he couldn't see but could feel coming from his lover. The one that said Harry did think it was his fault, probably because he thought he should have been there, fighting with and protecting Draco. "It's true, Harry. You couldn't have been there, it wasn't your team's mission," Draco kissed Harry's chest, where he could feel a heartbeat. "Don't blame yourself, please? Blame me, or Shaklebolt," Shaklebolt was the Head of the Aurors, and the one who had assigned Draco to the mission, "the Dark Wizard, my partner. Anybody but yourself." Draco thought all the people he had mentioned were more at fault then Harry.
By now, Draco could see nothing. He was blind, and he knew his eyes would be a solid molten red if anyone looked at them. He lowered his eyelids so Harry couldn't see. His side, where it had looked as if someone had systematically tortured him, was turning cherry red as well. Draco smirked. He would be dying in a dramatic, wealthy fashion that befit a Malfoy, at least. Even if he didn't live as a true member of his bloodline. Harry hauled up Draco's body, letting Draco's back lean against his arm. Draco head now curled around to lay on Harry's shoulder, beside his neck.
"You're going to hate me for this."
"I could never hate you Draco. Not now." Harry kissed the edge of his jaw, making Draco tilt closer to the touch.
"You won't like it, then. Don't follow me. Stay here," Draco rubbed his hand against Harry's hip. "You have friends, people who want you around them. I don't need you where I'm going, I'll just watch your life." Draco shuddered at the thought of Harry killing himself. Draco wouldn't have thought of the allure holding any sway over his strong Harry if he hadn't seen him once after he had gotten life-threateningly ill. Harry hadn't eaten or slept from the time Draco was admitted to the hospital until his fever broke. It had taken a week, and by the end of it Harry looked like he belonged on a hospital bed more then Draco did. Draco was terrified of what he would do with Draco dead.
"That means no suicidal risks, Harry. And no starving yourself, or refusing to sleep. Take Dreamless Sleep Potion in you need, or move somewhere else, away from the memories. Just don't let yourself die." Draco kissed Harry's neck, desperately trying to make sure his will would be obeyed before moving on.
"Don't linger on me for to long. Move on Harry. I'll still watch over you, I'll never stop looking out for you, but I'll be dead, and you have the right to a life Harry. I'm not going to take that from you. You know that life you always wanted? To move into a nice house and raise a couple of children? Take that life for yourself, you deserve it. More then anyone on the Earth." Draco felt Harry shake his head.
"I don't want just a couple of kids, Draco. I want to raise them with you, to live with you." Draco felt the desire to cry, but he held off. Harry's tears, streaming down his face and into Draco's shirt could serve them both, and Draco needed to be the strong one right now. Harry had to heal himself so often, it was his turn to help. Draco could feel Harry's tears across the top of his head, soaking his hair and running down the back of his neck as Harry kissed the crown of his head. His lips stayed there for a long while, as if he couldn't stand to remove them. Draco kissed the side of his neck.
"I'm not the only person in the world, Harry. You don't want to hear this right now, but I need to say it. Just remember it later, love, and act on it then. Fall in love, have children, or adopt them. Marry somebody. Live your life, Harry. Don't try to stay here in mine. Don't worry about forgetting me, or me forgetting you. I'm quite sure both are impossible. No acting like you did the summer after your godfather died. You told me about that, about becoming angry and apathetic. Live, don't just watch." Another kiss was pressed to Harry's neck. "Mourn, but not forever. Not even for long. For me, please?" Draco found moving any part of his body hard. The diamonds in his body didn't feel hot enough to burn him, thanks to magic, but they flowed heavily in his veins and made movement difficult. Still he flexed his muscles enough to nestle into Harry's neck. They both needed the comfort.
"I'm sorry, Harry. Letting the hospital call you was selfish, insisting you bring me home was selfish. I just needed to see you, and wanted it more then I wanted to protect you." That was wrong of Draco, and he knew it. Harry was his, and it was Draco's task to protect him from everything. Even, if necessary, himself. And Draco, for a moment, had forgotten his task. He had done something with the risk of breaking Harry, forced him to watch the man he loved die. "I'm so sorry." Draco kissed him again, this time noticing the molten rock that lingered on Harry's skin. Draco frowned. Harry didn't need that, the constant reminder in the form of another scar of Draco for the rest of his life. Not when Draco wanted so needfully for him to move on. Draco moved his head, quietly smearing some of the rock onto his own forehead. Draco wanted all of it gone, but he knew he couldn't make that occur. He would have to settle for merely getting rid of some of it.
"No, never. Draco, you did the right thing. If-if you hadn't come home, I would have imagined you laying there alone, dy-dy," Harry shook his head, Draco could feel the movement. Harry knew what was happening to his lover, but couldn't say it. That was fine, as long as Harry knew what was going on. "I would see that for the rest of my life. No, you did right. You did perfectly. You're perfect." Tears were streaming down Harry's face, and Draco chuckled quietly, bittersweetly at the man's words of trust in him.
"Not nearly, darling Harry." Draco gave his body another quick check. Not long, not long at all now. Draco had one last thing he had to say.
"I love you, Harry Potter. More then anything. You are my world, and always will be." Draco gave Harry another kiss on the neck, careful to keep his lips sealed. "I love you, I love you, I love you," Draco kept up the mantra until diamond had taken enough of a hold on his body that speaking coherently was impossible. He let his head drop into the crook of Harry's neck and held still, counting the slow beats of his own heart until they stopped.