Aha, welcome to…OOC TKC 2! I know what you're thinking, "There's another one? HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!" but I just couldn't help myself ^^ I apologize in advance for crappy English terms and correct uses and such, I use Microsoft Word so it's not the best, PLUS I just lack a sense of grammar ^^" Enjoy! :D
Julius and Anubis were sitting at the Hall of Judgment, bored as usual. They had recently hired a monkey butler (monkeys are so much more efficient than baboons) named Kaputi so the only noises to be heard were his occasional grunts as he cleaned the scales carefully. Every now and then, a loose scale would fall to the ground; the loud clang would jolt Julius from the sleep that he was falling into.
Anubis immediately claimed to sit on the floor in the morning, which was fine by Julius. He preferred the couch anyway.
"Say Anubis, I've got something to tell you…" Julius led off uneasily. The younger god was highly unpredictable, especially when it came to Sadie Kane. Thankfully, this had nothing to do with his daughter, plus, he had banned Anubis' stash of Sadie pictures.
There was, surprisingly, no response from Anubis.
"Anubis, did you hear me?"
Still nothing….
"ANUBIS, LISTEN UP!"
Kaputi screeched his dislike for loud noises (hypocrite) and loped away carelessly. As predicted, the boy/god/stalker remained silent.
Julius became frustrated and leaned over the couch he was sitting on to glare at Anubis. (A/N NOW it gets OOC-ey and nutty ^^) The god of funerals was busy trying to lick his elbow. Figures.
"How does Sadie do it?" Anubis muttered, only managing to lick the space above his elbow.
Julius pouted and threw a conveniently-placed dictionary at Anubis' head, "EAT LEARNING, DOG!" he yelled.
Anubis squealed, "WOOOOORDS!" and bolted away from the gloomy hall.
Kaputi returned and gestured in his direction, saying in monkey-language, "Are you sure he's sane?"
Julius shook his head, "Nope."
He then turned on heel and skipped away, but cut his arm off on another conveniently-placed pointy object. He just stared at the fountain of blood spouting from his non-arm saying, "Bloooood…"
"Ummm, are you okay?" Kaputi asked, pointing at what once was his arm, but was now a nub gushing blood.
Julius shrugged, "Just a flesh wound." He said, and ushered the monkey away.
He somehow grew back another arm in the time interval of fifteen seconds and was back to his ultra-happy self in no time. It was at that time that he decided to go find Anubis, even though he had run away about six days ago.
"Anuuuuubis!" he called, "Here, puppy, puppy, puppy!"
Sure enough, the god came bounding back with zest, "Ooooh, Julius, you'll never guess what I found!" he spoke with such excitement, it made Julius sick.
"What did you find?" he replied in a monotone.
To his surprise, Anubis held up a pair of lacey underwear. He giggled like a little kid and motioned for him to come closer. Julius remained petrified so Anubis leaned in to whisper, "They're Sadie's!"
"And how did you get them?" he asked with a strangled smile.
Anubis waved his hand dismissively, "I was watching Sadie in her room from afar-"
"You mean stalking."
"-and she left these on the floor. So I opened the window-"
"You mean broke into her house."
"-and borrowed them-"
"You mean stole."
"-the end!" He finished with a flourish of his hand.
Julius was pretty sure his eye twitched and sighed as Anubis held the undies as one would a child, "I'll never let them out of my sight…." He murmured dreamily.
"Don't you think you'd look kind of odd holding that?" he pointed out.
Anubis shrugged and started to skip away, pocketing the said item. In a haste to keep up, Julius fell flat on his face, "Oopsie, oopsie, Julie's gotta poopsey!" Anubis giggled, using that insufferable nickname.
"Annie peed his panties!" the older one retorted.
This match of childish name calling lasted so long; a referee appeared, as did an anxious crowd of people.
"Ummm, uh….Annie….ate a fanny? No, no, no! Annie had some plannies? No, no, no! Annie…Annie…Annie…" Julius struggled for the right words.
"TIME'S UP!" The referee yelled, blowing a whistle, "Anubis wins!"
The crowd of people cheered until the police hauled them away using snow-cones and pickles. Anubis offered celebratory ice cream. Julius wasted no time in accepting.
AT THE ICE CREAM SHOP…
"Hey Julius, what was it you wanted to tell me this morning?" Anubis asked through a mouthful of ice cream.
Julius froze, hoping he would've long since dropped the subject, "Erm…well…."
"Out with it!" Anubis coaxed, waving his ice cream around, as if that would help…
With a sigh of defeat, Julius looked Anubis in the eyes, "Your father is coming to town."