What Shall We Do With a Drunken Sailor?- by DarkSilverMaiden

I do not own "Pirates". If I did would I have to say this? Enjoy.

way hey way hey way hey way hey

"Way hey and up she rises,"

Grey tumultuous clouds danced across the ominous sky. Small rain droplets danced across the deck and caressed the tanned skin of Captain Jack Sparrow. His ringed hands gently stroked the wheel of the Pearl. He closed his kohl-lined eyes and tilted his head back to let the droplets slide down his cheeks. He opened his mouth in ecstasy as the rain kissed his lips.

"Storm's a comin' Captain," Gibbs broke Jack's reverie. Jack closed his mouth, straightened up, opened his eyes and gave him a dead glare, then proceeded to continue in his 'rain bathing.'

"Good," Jack said punctually- unmoving from his position, "I love the rain." Gibbs wrung his cap in his hands.

"Ya know, they've been specktin' hurricanes 'is time of year, and I was just wondering' if maybe, perhaps, we could turn back and hit Tortuga for another night and head off in the mornin' ya know, after restin' up and all-"

"No. We are staying here. There is no hurricane." Jack rushed in.

"But Captain," Gibbs persisted. Jack butt in again in song.

"La La La La Really bad eggs La La La!" Jack sang. Gibbs shook his head and walked off. Jack opened his eyes.

"Now, bring me that horizon."

way hey way hey way hey way hey

"Batter down the hatches!" Jack yelled from his place at the helm. The crew scrambled like rats tying down ropes amidst the pounding rain and crashing waves. The storm gnashed its angry teeth and ate into the hull of the Pearl. The rain blinded everyone for a moment and a blast of lighting shook them to their bones as they heard a loud CRACK!

way hey way hey way hey way hey

"Cora Joan Daring, get down here this instant!" her father yelled. Captain Daring shielded his eyes with his hand as he looked up at the crow's nest to his daughter standing at the top of the mast.

"Why?" she called down quizzically.

"Because!" he slapped his forehead. "It's not a place for a lady."

"When in the hell have I ever been a lady?" she smiled with mirth in her eyes.

"Language, Cora. Language." Captain Daring shook his head.

"Whatever." She launched herself over the side of the crow's nest and crashed feet first into the ocean below. Captain Daring's eyes rocketed out of his head.

"Cora!" he yelled over the starboard side of his ship. "I'll never get her married at this rate," he sighed. Cora's head burst to the surface.

"Well, that was refreshing!" she called up to her father. He just kicked down the rope ladder and went into his cabin. She heard the slam of the door. Cora sighed and swam her way to the ladder. She turned around to look back at the glistening waters before heaving herself up. She looked back. A figure was floating on their side atop a large chunk of wood.

"Man overboard!" she screamed.

way hey way hey way hey way hey

Jack faded in and out of consciousness. Pearl. Hurricane. Pearl. Lightning. Pearl. Split. Jack awoke with a start. He held his aching head as he slowly laid back in to the pillows. Wait. Pillows? Where was he? More importantly, where was his ship?

He surveyed his surroundings. He was in a sunny room. The rock of a ship comforted his for a moment. Paneled walls with paintings of flagships and a huge chest of drawers in the corner. He looked towards the door. His clothes were folded neatly on a rocking chair and his effects were hung on a peg next to it. Wait. Clothes? He looked under the sheets and saw he was wearing a pair of light wool trousers and a loose cotton shirt. His eyes twitched as he held his head in his hands. A waterfall of smooth hair fell over his shoulders. He sat up straight and ran his fingers through it. He let out an ungodly scream. "WHAT IN THE HELL!" A disheveled figure ran into the room with a tray of food.

"Ah. Your up." Cora smiled setting the tray on the nightstand. "Welcome to the Stallion. I'm Cora Daring at your service." Jack's eyes bugged out of his head as he held tightly to a sleek clump of hair. "Ah. About your hair. I -" Jack launched himself at the woman, knocking her over and sitting atop her pinning her arms down. Cora gave him a dead glare. "So this is what I get for saving your life?"

"What have ye done to me, ye vixen?" Jack shouted down at her. "And me hair." he added. She raised an eyebrow at him and gracefully flipped him so she was the one on top. Jack's jaw dropped. She smiled.

"First of all, that's no way to treat a woman. Second, you were dirty. Third, let's get you back to bed." She got up and slung his arm over her shoulders and flopped him back in the bed. Jack smirked.

"Only if ye come with me, luv," he said as he pulled he down on top of him. She gasped.

"You dirty rat!" she said slipping out of his arms. "After all I've done for you!"

"What about all ye haven't done for me yet?" He said pulling her closer. She managed to slip out of his strong grip.

"You're deranged!" she huffed as she straightened her disheveled shirt and brushed off her pants. Jack smiled.

"What's with the pants, luv? Shouldn't ye be off to some highly fancy finishin' school where they teach you how to sew and be all proper and such?" he said leaning back into the pillows. She smiled fakely.

"I'm thirty-six. I've been there, been kicked out, and I like right where I am thank-you-very-much." She turned heel and headed for the door. "Anyone but me will be back in half a turn for your tray." she stalked off. Jack sighed and sank further into the pillows wishing he could die. He picked up the tray and set in on his lap being careful of the coffee.

"What I wouldn't give for some rum." he sighed.

way hey way hey way hey way hey

DSM: Like so far? Show your support by reviewing! Or your dissatisfaction. Which in that case is also good because I'm always looking for ways to improve. Thank thee.