Title: She's Everything
Author: Steph
Rating: PG
Pairing: Robin/Patrick, Noah/Patrick
Category: Drama/Romance
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Beginning of 1-26 episode and a spoiler for next week.
Summary: Patrick deals with the reality of Robin being shot and holds vigil by her bedside, while receiving support from friends and family.
Note: So, I just had to write my version of Patrick dealing with Robin being shot before I saw it on the show. I'm hoping for and expecting some really great scenes on the show, but I just couldn't resist taking a crack at it first. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought. Thanks! -Steph
--- She's Everything: Part 1/1 ---
Pete stared at Patrick through the glass window of Robin's hospital room. Patrick was sitting by her side, holding onto her hand as if holding on for dear life - as if holding on tight enough and long enough would prevent her from slipping away.
Every so often, he reached up and caressed her face. Pete watched as Patrick dropped his head, then slowly released her hand. He stood up from his chair, his shoulders sagging as if carrying the weight of the world.
Patrick walked to the door and stepped out. He didn't immediately see Pete, but he heard his voice.
"I get it now," Pete said softly.
Patrick turned his head to the left, surprised to find Pete there. His brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to say something, but Pete cut him off.
"At least as much as anyone who has never experienced love before can get it," he finished.
Patrick looked at him for a long moment, then shook his head.
"What are you doing here?"
Pete shrugged. "I came for you. Believe it or not, I am good for more than a round of drinks and some relationship trashing." A hint of a smile appeared on Patrick's lips, but quickly faded away. Pete continued, his voice softening. "I've been standing here for the better part of an hour watching you with her. And I finally got what you've been trying so hard to make me understand. She's everything to you."
Patrick turned to look at Robin through the glass, his chest and throat tightening in that now familiar way. "I can't imagine my life without her in it." Patrick raised his eyebrows and a slight smile appeared on his lips. "I guess you'll appreciate this metaphor, Professor. It's as if my life before her was the first act in a play. The main character was lost and searching, without even realizing it. And then this woman came along and changed everything. She was the turning point in the character's life. She made him see things differently. She made him believe in things that he thought he would never believe in again. And he realized that the first act was simply the road that led to her."
Pete grinned. "Impressive metaphor, Doc. Although you probably lost half the audience by having the love story start after the first act. Gotta grab them right away."
Patrick simply shook his head with a tiny smile upon his lips and then refocused his gaze on Robin.
Pete watched the sad eyes of his friend stare at the woman he loved. He then placed a hand on Patrick's shoulder. And, for once, no words were necessary between them.
---
Patrick heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind him, but he paid them no attention.
"I was wrong," he heard a moment later.
He tore his eyes away from the glass and turned to face Mac.
Mac shook his head. "I told Robin that you weren't good enough for her and she was so upset she agreed with me."
Patrick dropped his eyes to the ground.
Mac went on. "But I've watched you these last few days. I've watched you sit by her side, holding her hand. And I don't believe there is a man in this world who is better for her than you." Patrick raised his eyes up to meet Mac's as he continued. "You were right. Robin needs you. She spent ten years hiding, ten years protecting her heart. She never planned on giving it away again. You helped her to start living again. Despite your ups and downs, you've made her happier than I've ever seen her. For that, I will always be grateful to you."
Patrick nodded and replied softly, "Thank you. I guess I needed to hear that."
Mac moved to the glass and looked at his niece. "Robin used to love to read fairytales. Even when she got older, she still loved them. But when she was done she would always shake her head and say, 'happily ever after only exists in fairytales'. And she was right. There is no such thing as happily ever after. There's only life, with all of its hardships and blessings along the way. All you can hope for is to find someone to share it with - to make the hardships a little easier and the blessings a little sweeter. You found that in Robin and she found that in you. Trust me when I tell you she's not about to give it up without one helluva a fight."
---
An hour later, Noah found his son standing in the place he'd been standing for the past three hours, simply staring at Robin through the glass. The helplessness he was feeling was written all over his face.
Noah came to stand by his side. "She's going to be okay."
Patrick's jaw tightened. "You don't know that. We're doctors, Dad. We both know that promises like that can't be made." Patrick swallowed hard and gestured at Robin. "She lost a ton of blood and barely survived surgery. Her blood pressure won't stabilize. It's been three days and she hasn't woken up yet."
"Robin's a fighter, Patrick. She's incredibly strong. You know that better than anyone. She's not going to give up without a fight. She has too much to live for. She has you to come back to."
Patrick shook his head and turned away from the window.
"I don't deserve her," he said softly.
Mac may have been right. Maybe there was no better person in the world for her than him, but he didn't think he could ever believe himself truly worthy of her.
Noah shrugged. "I didn't deserve your mother either. I thanked God everyday that for some reason she loved me anyway."
Patrick sighed heavily. "She's in there because of me. This happened because of me."
Noah shook his head. "Don't do this to yourself, Patrick. You're going through enough without making this your fault - without adding guilt to the list of feelings you're experiencing."
"Well, too late for that. She never would have been at the MetroCourt if it weren't for me. She was angry with me for going on that stupid trip to Vegas. And then she got upset when my test results were inconclusive and I refused to take another test right away. She decided to leave and nothing I said could change her mind. I told her I loved her and wanted nothing more than for her to stay, but she wouldn't budge. So she packed up a few things and headed to the MetroCourt. She was there because of me."
Noah squeezed his eyes closed, praying that his son wouldn't let the feelings of guilt consume him the way he had all of those years ago.
"Robin is an independent woman. She made a choice, Patrick. I know you did everything in your power to make her stay, make it so she wouldn't walk out that door. There's no point dwelling on what you can't change. It won't help Robin and it certainly won't help you. Robin needs you to be there for her right now without any of that baggage."
Patrick turned back around and looked at Robin through the glass. His voice came out so softly Noah almost didn't hear him. "I knew I shouldn't have let myself love someoneā¦love her. I knew one day I'd end up right here, having to face the possibility of losing her and the unbearable pain that comes along with it."
Noah knew the fear that his son had carried with him since Patrick's mother died. He had been so proud of him for finally taking a chance on Robin.
Noah tilted his head. "So what are you saying, Patrick? That you wish you hadn't let yourself fall in love with Robin? That you wish you hadn't taken that risk with her? That you would trade every happy moment you've ever spent with her because of the pain you're feeling right now and the pain you might have to endure down the road?"
Patrick snapped his head in his father's direction, his jaw setting. "You were right every time you said it. Robin is the best thing to ever happen to me. And the best thing I've ever done is take a chance on her. I don't regret any of it. And with the exception of those moments leading up to that stupid trip to Vegas, I wouldn't trade a moment we've spent together - good, bad, or otherwise - for anything in this world."
Noah nodded. "That's what being in a relationship is all about, Patrick. Enjoying the good and surviving the bad together. And remembering to never take those moments that happen in between for granted." Noah shook his head. "If I knew from the very beginning how it would end with your mother, if I knew how it would hurt to lose her and how I would let it destroy my life, I'd still do it all over again. The pain her death caused me couldn't even begin to compare to the happiness her life brought me. The truth is, it wouldn't have hurt the way it did if I hadn't known that happiness, if I hadn't known the love that she gave to me. And, like you, I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world."
Patrick rubbed at his eyes with his fists and let out a sigh. Then he met his father's gaze. "I understand now. I understand how it was easier to crawl into a bottle of Scotch rather than face life without her."
Noah pursed his lips. "It may have been easier, but it was no way to honor your mother."
Patrick ran a hand through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut. "I never wanted this. I never wanted to need someone the way I need her. I never wanted to be vulnerable in that way."
Noah let out a breath. "Love, true love, makes you vulnerable, son. You can't have it otherwise. You have to be willing to open up every part of yourself. But needing someone isn't a sign of weakness, Patrick."
"But she is my weakness. She is my vulnerability. Nothing makes sense without her. I don't make sense without her." Patrick shook his head, whispering, "I can't lose her, Dad."
Noah put his arm around his son's shoulders, but didn't say a word. His eyes moved to Patrick's face, noting the stubble on his sharp features, the paleness of his skin, and the dark circles around his eyes. His brown eyes, usually warm and full of life, were now dull and glassy from tears held back.
Noah sucked in a breath. "You haven't left her side in three days, son. When was the last time you ate anything? When was the last time you slept?" Patrick didn't reply, his attention focused on Robin. Noah went on. "You can't go on like this. You need to eat, take a shower, change your clothes, and get some sleep."
"I know what you're going to say next and the answer is no. I'm not leaving her. I have clothes in my locker and there are showers in the locker room. There's food in the cafeteria and the vending machine. And that chair in there makes a great makeshift bed. If I want to eat, shower, change my clothes or get some rest, I can do it all here."
"But you won't. You haven't. Robin will be fine without you for a little bit. You need to go home."
Patrick shook his head sharply, as he met his father's gaze. "I'm not going home until I can take her with me."
"Patrick."
"I'm not leaving her."
"You need to go home, just for a little while."
Patrick swallowed hard and replied softly, "I don't want to be there. It's not home without her, Dad. I realized that the moment she walked out the door."
Noah sighed. "An hour. That's all I'm asking. If you don't want to go home, then don't go home. But you need to get away from this place for a little while. I'll stay with Robin the whole time. Nothing's going to happen. And, on the off-chance that something changes, I'll call you right away."
Patrick knew his father was right. He'd been a zombie for three days. Maybe an hour outside these walls would do him some good.
"Fine," he relented begrudgingly. "One hour. But any change at all and you call me. I'll be back here in five minutes. Promise me."
"I promise," Noah replied.
He then watched his son go into Robin's room to say goodbye.
---
Patrick took a deep breath as he sat down beside Robin and took her hand in his.
"I have to leave for a little while, but I'll be back really soon." His eyes focused on her face. "There are a few things I want to say before I go though."
Patrick licked at his lips. "There's always that scene on some television show where a loved one sits by the side of someone fighting to live. And the loved one tells the person that if they can't fight anymore, then they should let go. That it's okay." Patrick shook his head. "Well, I'm telling you that this isn't a television show and it's not okay. You had me pegged from the start, Robin. I'm selfish and I'm not about to give you up. You are the strongest person I have ever met and I know you're fighting with everything you have to come back to me. But if it ever feels like too much, if it ever feels like you can't do it anymore, I want you to remember one thing. You set the rules for Relationship World and Rule # 3 clearly states: Walking out is acceptable, giving up is not." Patrick inhaled and then exhaled deeply. "I'm going to hold you to that."
Patrick leaned forward and brought his hand up to caress her cheek. "You see, this is all your fault because I don't know how to do this thing called life without you anymore. The truth is, before you came along I was doing a bad imitation anyway. You gave my life meaning. You gave me something look forward to. You gave me a future, Robin. That future is nothing without you."
Patrick stood up and bent over her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. He then moved to her lips and placed another.
"I love you," he whispered as he pulled back. "If nothing else, hold onto that."
Patrick then straightened and walked to the door. He offered her one last look before crossing the threshold.
---
Patrick almost turned back around the moment he stepped through the hospital doors. The cool winter's air assaulting his senses was the only thing that had stopped him. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, allowing the chilly air to fill his lungs. He felt like he hadn't truly breathed in three days.
The last place he wanted to go was home, but ten minutes later he somehow found himself standing outside his apartment door. He slowly lifted his hand and placed the key in the lock, allowing the door to swing open. As he crossed the threshold, he was immediately hit with everything that reminded him of Robin.
She had only packed a few things before heading to the MetroCourt, so her belongings were still everywhere. A candle her father had given her for Christmas. Her journal. A blanket her mother had sent from France when she had first moved back to Port Charles.
Everywhere he looked he saw Robin. The couch. The ottoman. He could still picture the air mattress sitting in the middle of the room on New Year's Eve, as they made love well into the new year. It was amazing how many memories they had made there in such a short time. It was incredible how everything inside and everywhere he looked spoke of Robin.
Patrick walked over to the couch and sank down into it. He squeezed his eyes closed, imagining Robin lying in his arms and saying that she would move in with him. He remembered how happy he felt in that moment. How right it felt.
He had no way of knowing just how short-lived that happiness would be. He had no way of knowing that in a few days time he would be standing helpless outside a building, as the woman he loved lay dying inside.
Patrick dropped his face into his hands, threading his fingers through his hair. And, for the first time since his mother died, he truly cried.
------------------------------------------------------------------------THE END----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought. -Steph
