A friends to lovers JeanMarco modern AU, prompted from the SNK Meme. Enjoy~
~~.~~
Like most teenagers, Jean Kirstein hated many things; high school, slow pedestrians, being yelled at by his mother for eating junk food (seriously woman, that crap kept him alive most of the time), and last but not least, public transportation. The order of the list often varied, but right now public transportation was number one on the list of things that Jean hated.
The city buses were ironically the lesser of two evils, as they were less likely to stall out at every red light than the school's crappy buses, which nowadays looked like they were being barely held together by Elmer's Glue and the collective self-loathing of it's passengers.
Jean's first day of freshmen year at Wallgate City Public School was off to a fantastic start; so far he'd overslept by a half hour (meaning his breakfast had consisted of a cold pop-tart he snatched from the pantry as he raced out the door), he'd left his mp3 player on his nightstand so now he had no way to drown out his new teachers while they did their welcome-back-to-hell speeches, and despite being mid-august, today was the coldest and rainiest day Jean had ever lived through.
Thankfully he'd gotten on the bus before it had started raining, but he had no umbrella or raincoat with him, meaning he'd get soaked to the bone while walking that last block to the school. Fan-freaking-tastic. All that time picking a decent first-day outfit last night would be completely wasted. So much for impressing Mikasa Ackerman...
"U-um, excuse me, is this seat open?" a voice beside him pipes up, and Jean lifts his head off the cool glass of the window to tell his inner monologue interrupter to take a damn hike, but he pauses before the words can leave his mouth.
The speaker, it turned out, was a short, scrawny boy who looked about Jean's age with a round face full of freckles and floppy black hair, the bangs of which were framing his face. He was soaking wet, with a skimpy umbrella folded up in his hands and dripping onto the floor, and Jean knew that saying no to this kid right now would feel a lot like kicking a puppy into traffic.
"Sure," Jean shrugs before sliding over in his seat to make more room, and the freckled boy beams, his entire face lighting up as he settles himself and his damp book bag down into the vacant seat beside him.
"Thanks," he tells Jean as the bus slowly lurches forward again. The motion briefly bumps him up against Jean, who can faintly feel the him shivering through his thin jacket, "I missed the school bus so I had to take this one... Didn't have time to grab my raincoat either." Jean just raised an eyebrow in reply, wondering if this kid was new to the city and didn't know the general 'don't talk to me it's too early' routine or if he was just that rare breed that genuinely enjoyed making small talk with random strangers.
"If you catch a cold don't get me sick too," Jean mutters under his breath. The freckled boy didn't seem to hear him and instead holds out his hand towards Jean, giving him another enthusiastic smile.
"I'm Marco Bott, by the way!" the boy introduces and Jean sighs under his breath before shaking his hand. Even Marco's damn gloves are soaking wet.
"Jean Kirstein," he replies, and Marco is still smiling (does he ever stop?) as they both settle back into their seats.
Twenty chilly and damp minutes later, Marco and Jean climb off the bus, and Jean stares at the black clouds swirling around in the sky, really not looking forward to having to walk that last block. The rain has stopped falling for the time being, but Jean knows as soon as he steps out from under that bus stop shelter, it's going to start coming down again with a vengeance.
"We can share my umbrella if it starts raining again," Marco says beside him, and Jean jumps a little because he'd completely forgotten that Marco was there. "It's a little small but it's in one piece at least." Jean says nothing, partially because Marco's flimsy umbrella was better than nothing but mostly because Jean still can't figure out why this kid hasn't stopped smiling. Marco's seemingly permanent cheerfulness was seriously clashing with his bedraggled look right now.
"Sure," Jean grunts , resisting the growing urge to just ditch school and spend all day in the warm comfort of Mike's Coffee and Cafe, which was about a five-minute walk away from here. Seriously, just thinking about the cinnamon rolls they served there was making Jean's mouth water and his lack of a proper breakfast wasn't helping at all.
"Jean, you coming?" Marco's chipper voice breaks Jean from his thoughts of playing hooky, and Jean sighs before trudging after the freckled boy, trying to ignore the uncomfortable squelching of his sneakers.
By the time they reach the school, Jean was seriously regretting choosing it over Mike's. Marco's umbrella had kept them fairly dry when the rain started up again, but during the course of the entire walk Marco had not shut up for even a second.
Jean now knew that Marco had moved to Wallgate City recently from a town (or was it county?) called Jinae, he knew about all the people living in Marco's household, all the past and present pets Marco could remember owning, what his former school was like and how much he missed his old friends from there, all his favorite things ranging from food to color to songs to friggin' month, and what classes he hoped he'd have this year.
Though he had in fact listened to every word Marco said, Jean hadn't contributed much to the conversation other than a nod or the occasional grunt of acknowledgement but Marco had just kept beaming and chattering away, and it wasn't until he noticed the sudden silence that Jean finally looked Marco's way and was surprised to find the freckled boy blushing brightly.
"S-Sorry Jean, guess I haven't really shut up since we got off the bus, huh?" Marco says quietly. He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, still blushing, and it actually makes Jean feel guilty for being irritated.
"Nah, it's cool," Jean replies sincerely. People with constant smiles and mile-a-minute talking were usually very high on that ever-growing list of Things Jean Hates, but Jean supposed that he would be willing to make an exception for this weird freckled kid. "So, you used to have a dog named Jean, huh?"
Marco's face lights up again as he enthusiastically nods, and this time Jean can't help but return his contagious grin with a small smile of his own.
.~.
It's been an hour since they got to school, and Jean is now certain of three things; having a litter of younger siblings means that Marco now possesses the patience of a saint, the high school's breakfast food is just as grossly unappetizing as the middle school's breakfast food, and their homeroom teacher Ms. Hanji Zoe is a complete and utter psycho.
The bespectacled brunette woman had seemed normal for about the first two minutes of class. Then, she'd actually started cooing affectionately to the two potted plants (her ferns were named Sawney and Bean so yeah, she was nuts) sitting on her desk rather than addressing the class full of students, and the majority of said class was now pretty convinced that she'd tunneled her way out of an asylum two days before being hired at the school.
One-by-one they'd been called up to her desk to retrieve their class schedules for the year, and Jean quickly snatches his and Marco's sheets of paper up and gotten as far away from her as he could. He returns to his seat beside Marco, who'd been smart enough to pick the table at the back of the room which were conveniently closest to the heaters, and the two exchange their schedules for comparison.
They had homeroom, third period (Biology with none other than Ms. Zoe, Jean realizes with a jolt), lunch, and fifth period (gym with Coach Shadis) together.
Marco is beaming again, going on about how relieved he is to have gotten most of the classes he wanted, and Jean occupies himself with the all-important task of balancing his pencil on his nose while Marco chatters away. They still have twenty minutes before the bell rang, and Jean is content to just settle back and warm himself up by the heather.
But as the fates would have it, there is always something to damp a sudden good mood for Jean, and the latest unfortunate revelation is that two of Jean's friends from middle school apparently share homeroom with them, and they make their presence known by slamming the classroom door open, but judging by the sheepish looks they throw Ms. Zoe's way, they hadn't intended to make such an impression.
Sasha Braus and Connie Springer. They were two of the most rambunctious if not lovable idiots that Jean had ever befriended, but even to this day he wonders why and when the hell he'd befriended them anyway.
He spots them only a few seconds before they notice him, leaving him with no time to hide behind his book bag, and their faces split into wide grins as they gallop towards him.
Sasha looks the same as ever, with her reddish-brown hair tied back in a high ponytail and three pieces of toast in each hand. Connie's gotten a few inches taller than since Jean last saw him, though he's still shorter than Sasha, and for a split second Jean hadn't recognize that it was him because his floppy mess of black hair had all been buzzed off over the summer.
Luckily for Jean, they seem to decide en route to their table that hounding Jean's new freckled friend would be much more fun that hounding Jean himself, so at least he's now free to just sit back in his chair and just grin when Marco shoots him near-panicked looks between Connie and Sasha's dozens of questions.
Marco's literally saved by the bell just as Sasha asks Marco how many marshmallows he can stuff in his mouth, and Connie darts off to retrieve their book bags while Sasha hurries to finish off her toast before following him. Marco is silent as they retreat, and judging by the stunned but pleased look on Marco's face, they're all friends now.
"Looks like this'll be a pretty fun year, Jean," Marco remarks as he slides his schedule into the front pocket of his Pokémon binder, and Jean stuffs his own folded schedule into his back pocket before nodding in agreement. In spite of the rocky start and multiple classes with Ms. Zoe, Jean had a feeling that this would be a pretty good year indeed.
~.~
Well Marco definitely jinxed it or something because so far this year friggin' sucked. They were about halfway through the school year now and pretty much everything that could go wrong for Jean up until this point had gone very wrong.
He hadn't made the final cut for the school's football team (he lost the spot he wanted to some bulldozer named Reiner Braun), he'd nearly thrown up a dozen times in Biology because Ms. Zoe insisted on having the class dissect something every other week, and Mikasa Ackerman had barely given him the time of day since the start of the year.
The object of Jean's affection instead spent most of her time outside of class with two of her childhood friends; a scrawny geeky boy(?) named Armin Arlert and a guy named Eren Jaegar, and Jean found out very quickly that he did not get along with Eren. At all. The guy was a complete jackass, and considering that Jean himself was a self-aware jackass, that was really saying something.
Worst of all, Jean had lunch and four of his five classes with Eren, and if it hadn't been for Marco being in most of those classes to keep him calm, Jean probably would've gotten suspended by now for knocking that goddamn grin off of Eren's face. But with Marco there to always calm him down with a pat on the shoulder or a few encouraging words, Jean can resist the urge to knock Eren's teeth out for at least another day.
"You just need to learn to pick your battles more carefully, Jean. Eren's really not such a bad guy if you two would just try starting over," Marco is saying as they sit at the bus station one afternoon. Jean just gives him a noncommittal grunt and goes back to waiting for the bus, his mind wandering back towards Mikasa.
He'd probably have a shot with her if she and Armin weren't shadowing Eren all day, which of course was another reason Jean hated Eren. He literally walked to school with a golden opportunity, and he didn't take advantage of it even for a second. Jean would've killed to have someone like Mikasa always trailing after him, with her beautiful black hair and her gorgeous eyes and her adorable freckles and her-
Wait, freckles? Mikasa didn't have freckles! Blinking, Jean pulled himself from his thoughts and he was immediately aware of Marco still chattering on beside him.
"-not like he's always the one picking the fights you know, and I partnered up with him in Biology that week you had the flu - remember that Jean, you caught it from Franz? Anyway, I partnered up with him and he's actually a pretty nice and funny guy. I mean yeah, he gets a little loud sometimes and he stabbed the turtle we were dissecting too much so Ms. Zoe had to give us a new one. But then she put the old one in her purse which was kind of really weird but ever since Sawney and Bean wilted over Christmas break she's been acting a little stranger than usual. So anyway, after we got a new turtle I asked Eren why-"
Ahh, so that must've been why freckles had crossed his mind. Marco's incessant babbling about Eren was being a major but subconscious distraction to his inner turmoil.
"-and he wants to join the military for some reason. I don't really get it, and Armin says that he doubts Eren'll really go through with it, but it's cool that he's already planning so far ahead. It makes me wonder what I-"
"Oi, Marco, you're interrupting my damn daydreaming," Jean snaps over at him, and Marco draws his head back with a look of surprise. He sighs, sounding more exasperated that upset at least, and the two of them sit in silence until the bus finally pulls into view.
~.~
He'd probably never admit it out loud, but Marco had what was probably the cutest collection of younger siblings that Jean had ever seen. The fact that they all looked exactly like their eldest brother somehow made it all even cuter.
Marco was the oldest of the Bott brood at sixteen-years-old. After him were ten-year-old twin boys named Marcus and Mark (Jean could only tell them apart because Marcus was missing a front tooth), a seven-year old girl with pigtails named Marcella, and the baby of the bunch was a three-year old boy named Nicolas.
Ironically, it was the last name listed that makes Jean burst into laughter, and afterwards he'd spent an agonizing hour trying to convince the crying toddler that no, he wasn't technically laughing at him and no he didn't think his name was stupid so please stop crying Nicolas before your mother hears it and hurts me!
He finally works his way back into the three-year-old's good graces, but the downside is that the second Nicolas had forgiven him, the boy had latched onto Jean's leg and now he couldn't get the toddler to let go.
"He'll let go on his own," Marco's father (who looked just like Marco except he had a thick goatee and no freckles) informed him with a hearty laugh that shook the whole room, "Until then you'll just have to bear with it!"
Even Marco - who had looked more flushed than usual during the whole ordeal - hadn't been able to pry or blackmail the small child off of Jean's leg, and so Jean just quickly adjusted to having to take wide steps around the child, who simply giggled and clung on tighter as he rode Jean's foot. He'd only let go when they were all called to eat dinner, and even then Marco's mother had to come get him herself with promises of an extra bowl of desert.
Jean also learned that night that their distant cousin who lived with them was weird as hell, and Jean had no qualms about admitting that out loud, though he sure as hell wouldn't say it to her face.
They'd just finished a fantastic dinner and were halfway through a desert of the most delicious chocolate pudding pie Jean had ever tasted when the back door suddenly slams open and a tall girl strides in, causing Jean to nearly jump out of his seat. The family around him hadn't so much as flinched, so apparently this sort of thing was a very common occurrence.
"Sorry I'm late," the girl grunts as she kicks the door shut behind her, not sounding even mildly apologetic, "Missed the bus so I had to take a cab, remembered halfway here that I didn't have any money left so I had to jump out at a red light and haul ass home. So, who the hell is that sitting in my seat?"
"Please watch the language, Ymir," Mrs. Bott sighs with a fond but thin patience, "Marcus has already picked up too many words from you."
"Marcus don't cuss 'til you're older. So what's the deal with Undercut over there?"
"Ymir, this is Jean Kirstein, he's a friend of mine from school. Jean, this is my cousin Ymir," Marco introduces warily after giving Jean an apologetic frown, but Ymir just shrugs her jacket off and shoots Jean an indifferent glance.
"Cool," Ymir replies, nearly shoving Jean out of his (her) chair as she leans over the table to swipe a bowl of the pudding, "Glad you finally made a friend, Marco, but if you two do the dirty, don't forget open a window and use a condom."
"YMIR!"
Marco's parents both shout at the grinning girl who's hastily jogging from the room. The twins have burst into laughter, Marcella is just staring at them curiously, Nicolas is nose-deep in his pudding, Marco's sinking down in his seat with a bright red face and Jean now wants to crawl under the table because who the hell says something like that during a first meeting?!
Jean rubs his face with an exasperated and embarrassed sigh, going to eat another bite of pudding but then he feels a light tugging on his sleeve. He looks down to see Marcella looking up at him with wide eyes full of curiosity and he feels a flicker of fear when she opens her mouth.
"Mis'er Jean, what's a condom?"
Marco's parents stopped yelling at Ymir about ten minutes ago but Marco's still muttering "sorry about my cousin" while Jean sets up a makeshift bed on Marco's floor and Marco's still blushing so much that Jean's surprised he hasn't pass out.
They're a half-hour into playing the latest Assassin's Creed game now and the redness has finally faded from Marco's face, so of course that's when Ymir shows up to toss a box of condoms into Marco's lap and ruffle his hair, saying something along the lines of Marco being on the road to manhood now, and Marco just lets out a squeak, his blush coming back with a vengeance.
Having gotten over his own initial embarrassment, Jean now finds the whole damn thing hilarious.
He spends most of that summer at Marco's house with him and his dark-haired, freckle-faced family, playing countless hours of video games, babysitting the younger kids, and eating the best home cooked meals Jean's had in years. His weekend visits become so routine that Mr. Bott eventually moves one of their spare sleeper sofas into Marco's room and Ymir has willing scooted her chair over to make room for Jean at the table.
It's without a doubt the best summer that Jean and Marco have ever had.
~.~
Marco, it seemed, made friends a hell of a lot easier than Jean ever did, and Jean still isn't sure how he feels about that. Sure, he was friendly now with the vast majority of Marco's new collection of buddies, but at the same time most of them had met Marco before meeting Jean, and now hanging out with all them made him feel a bit like a third wheel. Or ninth wheel... Tenth wheel? Whatever.
The fact that Marco had gone and invited Eren and his dynamic duo to sit at their lunch table was bad enough itself. Now, the table that had previously occupied only Marco, Connie, Sasha and himself was now packed with four new people, and the table right beside them was just as packed with the rest of their new gang.
Jean now sat squished between Marco and Sasha, nibbling at his lunch while they chatted away with Eren and Armin about homework and upcoming movies. Mikasa sat across from them but Jean hardly had room to breath let alone talk to her without at least three eavesdroppers listening in.
Sitting beside Mikasa was Christa Lenz, one of the cutest and smallest girls Jean had ever seen. Marco had interrupted Jean before he could get his flirt on with her and quietly informed Jean that Christa was already on the verge of being in a relationship with someone else. Marco failed to mention who exactly Christa might be dating, but his tone warned Jean not to question it.
On Christa's other side was Connie, who had spun around in his seat and was now having a rather vivid argument about Call of Duty with Reiner, the brutal linebacker for their football team who was actually kind of cool now that Jean had gotten to know him, and some tall, sweaty guy named Bertolt. Reiner's childhood friend, Marco informed him during their initial meeting.
Reiner is as loud as ever, grinning in spite of the bloody bandages taped across his nose (Jean was sure he'd heard Armin mention that it was the third time Reiner had broken it that year) but Bertolt was quiet, shyly contributing very little to the conversation while still maintaining a friendly attitude towards them.
Behind Reiner and Bertolt was Annie Leonhardt, another tiny blonde girl, but unlike Christa, Annie looked like she could break your arm with a flick of her wrist and then make you punch yourself with said arm. She scared Jean a little. Beside Annie was Mina, a preppy girl with two thick black ponytails draped over her shoulders. Mina was, for whatever reason, the only person besides Bertolt and Reiner than Annie had ever been seen willingly talking to, which, considering their very opposite personalities, is still a mystery of Jean.
Jean spends half of their first lunchtime together expecting Ymir to swoop down out of nowhere and shove Jean out of his seat with a well-aimed kick, but after voicing said thought out loud Marco tells him that Ymir went to a different school across town; she'd apparently been kicked out of Wallgate City public for beating up a few of the football team's former linebackers after they'd catcalled her, which Reiner confirms with a loud laugh, so at least that was one less person to suffocate him during lunch.
Honestly, Jean didn't know when the hell Marco had suddenly befriended all these people, or why they had to crowd around his table, but as he watches his best friend laughing and talking along with everyone else, Jean decides that he can get over it. Besides, it was their sophomore year already for most of them, so he could probably deal with these people for a little while longer.
Plus Mikasa was sitting at his table. How cool was that?
~.~
Marco has been to Jean's house only once in the two years that they've known each other, and it's quite possibly the worst experience that Marco can remember.
Jean wasn't expecting him to drop by that Saturday, which was probably why everything had gone so badly. But Jean had forgotten to return Marco's chemistry textbook before school had ended Friday, and with the homework due first period on Monday, it couldn't wait.
The Kirstein house is different than Marco imagined, though looking back the freckled boy wasn't sure exactly what he'd been expected. His home is a single-story brick house with a small yard with yellowing grass and littered with crushed beer cans.
It's a small shock compared to the huge, Victorian-style houses Marco is so used to being surrounded by, and he's feels a wave of uncertainty as he knocks lightly on the door. Maybe he should've just called Armin to get the information he needed-
The door swings open and Marco takes a step back from both the surprise and the sudden stench of alcohol that hits him. The man standing before him is huge, with thick arms protruding from his stained tank top that might've been white once. He has a thick beard, Marco briefly notes that it's the same two-toned colors as Jean's hair, and dark glaring eyes that make Marco feel two inches tall.
"Who're you?" the man slurs. Marco gulps, trying to smile politely while not wrinkling his nose at the stench coming off of the man. "The fuck you want, boy?"
"M-My name's Marco, and I'm a friend of Jean's from school. I just needed to get-" Marco starts, but he flinches back when the man suddenly bursts into laughter before spitting on the stoop near Marco's feet.
"Friend?" he repeats, giving Marco a crude sneer, "Ha! The hell're you friends with him for? That boy's too goddamn stupid to tell one ass cheek from another!" A sour taste fills Marco's mouth and he tries to swallow again but his mouth suddenly feels too dry.
"C-could I, um... just talk to him, sir? I need to get-"
"He ain't here," Jean's father growls, all traces of "humor" gone now. "S'take your scrawny ass elsewhere, boy!"
"But I-"
"BEAT IT!"
The door slams in his face and for a moment Marco just stands there. He can feel his hands trembling but he feels rooted to the spot, and his legs won't cooperate with his demands to move. Marco had always wondered why Jean never once invited Marco over to his house instead, but now it made so much sense.
Deciding that he should leave before Jean's father notices him still out here, Marco turns on his heel and quickly puts some distance between him and the Kirstein house. Marco would've never guessed that someone as great as Jean had such a brutish man for a father, and he can't help but cringe at the thought of his best friend returning to a place like this every night.
As he's leaving, he thinks he hears a muffled crash followed by slurred yelling, but he doesn't look back. It could've been coming from any of the run-down houses on this street, and besides, Jean's father said that he wasn't home, so wherever Jean was, he was probably safer there than here.
Jean comes to school on Monday with a fading black eye, and a few people hear him telling a concerned teacher that he'd gotten it while playing rugby with a few of his cousins. Connie glances back at Marco with a grim look and mouths a few words that make the freckled boy's stomach drop.
Jean doesn't have any cousins.
It's then that Marco remembers the muffled yelling he'd heard outside Jean's house on Saturday and he suddenly feels like he could throw up.
~.~
He doesn't think that their mouths are angled quite right, and the hands resting on his waist feel a little awkward, but the taller boy's lips are so warm and his touch is surprisingly soft for such a big guy and Marco's face is still flushing when the two boys finally pull away from each other.
"That was... actually really nice," Marco finally says with a small hint of a smile, and the tall blond in front of him nods in agreement, still looking a little dazed himself. "Can...Can we do it again, Reiner?"
"I... uh, yeah," Reiner replies, flashing Marco a quick grin before pulling him into another soft kiss. Marco leans forward, not so much trying to get closer to Reiner as he is trying to push them further out of sight. The auditorium building is blocking them from the sight of those still on the football field, but that didn't mean that someone couldn't wander over and spot them.
First kisses don't seem like a big deal to Marco anymore - what mattered in the end was finding someone you love that you can share your life with. Compared to that, something quick like a first kiss is a ridiculous and trivial thing.
But as he kisses Reiner, the image of Jean's smiling face flashed through Marco's mind, and suddenly the whole thing feels dirty. It's not like this is cheating - he and Jean weren't even a romantic couple for crying out loud. Hell, Marco still didn't know if Jean had even figured out that he was gay! Besides, Reiner didn't seem to want to date Marco either. He just wanted to "see if he was" and judging by the way he's holding him now, Reiner was.
That's all this is, Marco reminds himself as the kiss starts to become a little more heated. He's just helping Reiner come to terms with his sexuality. Marco hadn't had anyone around when he finally realized that he was gay, and though his parents were aware and didn't give a damn, having someone his own age to help him through it would have saved him from a lot of long nights filled with doubt.
Reiner starts to pull him a little closer and Marco lets him. He doesn't even want Reiner the way he wants his best friend but at the same time this just feels so good...
He thinks he hears Reiner whisper Bertolt's name against his mouth when he pulls back for air but it's so brief that Marco can't be sure. Undeterred, Marco just starts to think of Jean again as Reiner pushes him back against the wall, the blond's mouth hot against his own.
Beggars can't be choosers, right?
~.~
They were doing it again.
They were in the living room, screaming and snarling at each other, and Jean only knows this because all the noise had woken him up. Sighing heavily, he stuffs his head under his pillow in an attempt to drown them out, but he can still hear his mother's screeching and his father's slurred hollers. He can't hear what exactly they're saying but it's probably about him. It's always about him...
He stays under the pillow for about ten minutes before he finally sits up and grabs his cell phone out of the drawer of his nightstand, pulling his blankets over his head before dialing the first number on his contact list.
"Hmm... Jean...? S'at you?" Marco answers sleepily after the fourth ring, and at the sound of his tired voice Jean feels really stupid for calling him at three in the morning, but if he didn't have some sort of distraction soon he'd wind up screaming right alongside his parents again.
"They're fighting again," Jean replies quietly, keeping his voice as low as he can so his father doesn't come charging into his room instead. There's a brief silence on the other end, and Jean hears the shifting of sheets and springs as Marco rearranges himself in his bed.
"Is it bad?" Marco asks quietly and Jean cringes when he hears the harsh sound of a glass bottle shattering against the living room wall. Marco must've faintly heard it as well because his voice is louder when he says "Jean, are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah," Jean replies shakily. He flinches hard when he hears the front door suddenly open and then slam, briefly mistaking it to be his own door. He didn't know if it was his mother or his father that just left but frankly he's too relieved that it's over to care right now. "I-I think it's over now, but they just..." he trails off again, his hand shaking, and he can hear Marco sigh quietly on his end.
"Maybe you can come over for the weekend, Jean," Marco offers, and the thought of being away from his personal hellhole for a few days was enough to loosen the knot in Jean's belly. "My mom's always saying you haven't been visiting enough lately."
"Yeah, okay..." Jean finally replies, listening to the comforting sound of the silence that now filled his house. "Thanks by the way, Marco... for putting up with me. Seems like my own parents can't even do that..."
"Well...that's really their loss, not yours," Marco assures him with a new tenderness in his voice. "You're really an amazing guy, Jean, even if they can't see that. You're funny and smart and very kind, even if you don't always like to show it. You made me feel welcome on my first day here, and you've been my best friend since, and I really li-... and, you know you'll always have a place here, with me and my family, s-s you shouldn't worry about the people who don't realize what an amazing son they have."
Jean sighs under his breath before smiling to himself, briefly brushing the back of his hand over his eyes when his vision started to blur. Marco was right; Jean still had him and the rest of the Botts, even if his own parents reminded him daily about how much of a burden he was on them.
"Thank you, Marco..." Jean whispers into the phone as exhaustion starts to grip him again. He curls up as he starts to relax again, and the fear of his father's swinging fists start to fade from his mind. "You're my best friend too..."
"G'night Jean," Marco replies tenderly, and Jean smiles again before hanging up and going back to sleep.
~.~
"Figuring herself out... What the hell is that even supposed to mean?" Jean growls under his breath before sipping bitterly from the Styrofoam cup in his hand. Marco, who doesn't really have an answer, just shrugs and takes another bite from the warm cinnamon roll in his hand.
Mike's Coffee and Cafe is comfortably crowded as always, full of teenagers and adults carrying on lazy conversations or working on homework assignments while partaking into their own hot beverages and snacks. Luckily Jean and Marco had gotten there before the after-school rush and claimed two of the plush armchairs in the far corner of the room. One of the few benefits of riding the city bus instead of the school's.
"She pulled the whole 'we can still be friends' speech on me too," Jean continues, glaring at the half-finished essay he has pulled up on his laptop. "Which is a load of shit by the way, Marco - that's like someone shooting your damn dog and saying you can still keep it so don't ever fall for that."
"I'll keep that in mind, Jean," Marco sighs, setting down his cinnamon roll to resume the task of typing up his own essay for Ms. Zoe's class. "But I guess you should appreciate the sentiment at least."
"Whatever," Jean mutters in reply, and Marco glances over to see Jean's expression shifting from irritated to hurt. Marco feels a pang of sympathy; Jean had only been going out with Mina for a few months, but over the course of those months Jean had seemed so happy with her. Then again, Mina was Jean's fourth girlfriend, so Marco couldn't say that he hadn't seen that break-up coming. "Same thing happens every damn time I start to think that things are going well..."
Marco frowns, leaning over in his armchair to rest his hand on Jean's shoulder and give it a comforting squeeze. Jean glances back at him and sighs, but then he gives the freckled boy a small smile as well. Even after all these year a simple touch from Marco was enough to brighten his mood...
"You'll get through this, Jean," Marco assures him with a warm smile of his own, "Maybe Mina just wasn't the one for you, but that doesn't mean that the one's not still out there."
"Yeah," Jean shrugs, drumming his fingers lightly against the keyboard of his laptop before he looks back at Marco again and smiles, "Hey, maybe we'll actually find our 'ones' at the same time, Marco. Still haven't seen you with a girlfriend yet, you prude."
For a moment Marco stays silent but Jean turns his attention back to his laptop and misses the quick look of panic that passes over his face. Rather than answer, Marco just takes another bite from his cinnamon roll, which is suddenly dry and tasteless in his mouth.
~.~
"So, you going to finally tell him?" Ymir asks after dinner one night, and Marco nearly chokes on the soda he'd been drinking, cheeks burning brightly as he coughs it out. Ymir's face remains passive, one eyebrow raised as she watches her cousin from the beanbag chair that she's dragged into Marco's floor.
"W-what?" Marco splutters, wiping his mouth off on his sleeve, "Ymir, I can't just do that!"
"Why not?" Ymir asks, stretching her long legs out as she thumbs through a sports magazine with obvious disinterest, "You've been crushing on the guy since you were what, a freshman? What's holding you back?"
"I..." Marco starts but then he trails off with a heavy sigh, setting his soda can down and sitting on the edge of his bed. "I don't think he's... I mean, every person he's ever crushed on or dated was a girl, even though they've never lasted long, and if I tell him that I'm crushing on him, I could really ruin the best thing I've going for me!"
"So what, you're just going to pretend that you're not in love with your best friend?" Ymir scoffs, "You know, nearly every guy in our neighborhood wanted Christa, and she even went out with a few of them before I approached her. You think I didn't have any doubts when I confessed to her too?"
"That's was different... You're different," Marco mumbles, falling back against his pillow with another sigh, "I'm just not like you, Ymir. I'm not brave enough to risk losing him..."
"Whatever," Ymir sighs as she pushes herself to her feet and crosses the room, but her expression noticeably softens when she glances back at Marco, "But if you never say anything to him Marco, then you've done worse than lost him."
Marco doesn't reply and instead stares at his ceiling as Ymir leaves the room, mulling her words over in his mind. He'd give anything to be like her when it came to these things, to have the courage to just walk up to Jean and confess what he feels towards the younger boy, to tell him how he'd felt ever since the day Jean had shared that bus seat with him. But he wasn't like his cousin - she was bold and reckless while he was a damn coward, and right now, Marco just couldn't bring himself to ever risk what he had with Jean.
~.~
"What the hell does she even see in that jerk?" Jean growls under his breath as he shoves his chilling stew around in his bowl. Marco just sighs and pats Jean on the back with as much sympathy as he can muster. Yeah, Mikasa had been refusing or straight up ignoring Jean's advances since their freshmen year of high school, but she'd still remained single the entire time and apparently in Jean's mind, that had always been the silver lining of being constantly rejected.
But they'd hardly gotten through second period chemistry with Ms. Zoe - they were pretty sure now that she was switching the grades she taught just to follow their graduating class - when Mina had plopped herself down at their group's table to announce that Mikasa Ackerman and Eren Jaegar were officially a thing as of that morning. Marco had smiled at the news, genuinely happy for the new couple, but Jean had let out a loud squawk of disbelief while simultaneously snapping his pen in half.
Now, almost three hours later, Marco was stuck with a sulking best friend who had an apparent broken heart and an ink stain ruining the sleeve of his favorite red hoodie. Marco had no idea how to go about cheering him up, and Sasha and Connie, who sat across from them, were of course not helping matters at all.
"I can actually understand it," Sasha says around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. Marco quickly shoots her a warning look but Sasha either didn't notice or didn't care. It's impossible to tell with her. "Eren's rambunctious and loud, but he's actually a really sweet and passionate guy once you get to know him."
"Calling bullshit on that one, Sasha," Jean lifts his head to growl at her, "I've been in classes with Jaegar for three years. I know the guy, and he's a complete and utter dickhead!"
"Maybe Mikasa just likes guys like that," Connie shrugs, taking Sasha's side as always, and Jean's scowl somehow gets deeper, "Or maybe she just knows him way better than you do and likes what she sees. Don't you just hate Eren cuz she picked him over you?"
"Okay," Marco quickly interrupts, setting a hand on Jean's shoulder and pushing the fuming boy back down into his seat before he can throw a punch at Connie and/or Sasha. "Look you guys, when it comes down to it, who Mikasa dates is her business, and if we're not happy for her, then we can't really call ourselves her friends, can we? Besides, we're juniors now and most of us'll be going off to different colleges soon - something this petty shouldn't be causing rifts between us."
"Real easy for you to say Marco," Jean grumbles, stabbing his fork into the carrots floating around in his stew with extreme prejudice, "You've never crushed on someone who doesn't want you."
'You'd be surprised,' Marco wants to say, but instead he remains quiet and just pats Jean on the shoulder again.
~.~
"Jean, stop it!" Marco shouts, trying to tug the glass out of Jean's hard grip but Jean jerks his arm free and flings the glass across the room, not so much as flinching when it shatters against the kitchen wall. Jean glares at the scattered glass sharps and whirls around with an unsatisfied growl, reaching into the rusted cabinets to grab another but Marco steps in his way and grips his wrists again, brown eyes flashing brightly as he pushes him away from the counter. "Jean, stop!"
"Let go!" Jean snarls, struggling as Marco tries to pin him down. His eyes are burning again, and he can feel tears already streaking his face but Jean doesn't care. He wants to break something. He wants to rip something apart. He wants to shatter everything in this damn house that reminded Jean of him. "Goddamn it Marco, let me go!"
"Calm down-!" Marco gasps as Jean's struggling causes him to lose his footing, and the two tumble back onto the linoleum floor with a thud. Marco quickly sits up and leans over Jean, reclaiming his grip on Jean's wrists and trying to hold him still. "Jean, please, calm down..."
Jean finally stops struggling at his words, his breathing coming out hard and his chest heaving as he stares up at Marco's face. Marco's eyes are damp and his hair sticks to his forehead from the sweat he'd worked up from trying to stop Jean's rampage for the past half hour.
The floor beneath Jean is cold and he can feel it even through his hoodie. The whole damn house is cold, with a thick, suffocating silence that Jean had never had to feel when he was at Marco's house.
Marco's home is warm and loud and welcoming, full of wonderful people with friendly smiles and kind words. They'd never once mistreated Jean, or ever made him feel unwelcome. always hugged both boys when they'd come home from school, and Mr. Bott would tell them corny jokes that made them roll their eyes and laugh. His little siblings adored him and constantly dragged Jean from Marco's room, begging him to play a game or two. Ymir had actually stopped punching his shoulder every time she saw him and instead greeting him with a softer pat on the shoulder. Even the Bott's fat, finicky tabby liked him, and Fuzzles didn't like anyone.
Marco's family loved him, and Jean felt more affection towards the Botts than he did towards his family. But if Marco's family could love him like that... then why the hell couldn't his own parents do that same?
"Why did he go!?" Jean snaps up at Marco, but Marco doesn't say anything. He doesn't have an answer for him, and Jean squeezes his eyes shut when he feels more hot tears starting to trickle out. He hated him. He hated him so much. What kind of coward left his own family behind? What had Jean done to make his own father hate him so much that he'd actually leave him?!
Jean didn't know what to do or what to think. His father was crude and loud, and he sure as hell wasn't Dad of the Year material, but he was still his father for crying out loud! His mother wasn't any better. Instead of comforting her son she'd locked herself in her room with a few cans of the beer her husband had left behind.
For as long as he could remember, they'd never looked at Jean with affection, or any expression beyond dissatisfaction, but that hadn't stopped Jean from trying his hardest to just get one damn compliment from either them. Jean just wanted to know for once in his life what it felt like to have a parent that was truly proud of him...
He feels Marco pull them both up into a sitting position, and suddenly the freckled boy's arms are wrapped around Jean, holding him close as the harsh sobs start ripping through him.
"I hate that bastard!" Jean growls weakly into Marco's shoulder, gripping the damp shirt as he cries and Marco just holds him tighter, rocking him lightly and rubbing his back to calm him down. "I fucking hate them both!"
"I'm sorry, Jean..." Marco whispers again as Jean's shaking slowly starts to subside, and his own eyes swim with tears at the sight of his best friend looking so broken, "I'm so sorry..."
~.~
"I think this is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever been dragged to," Jean huffs as he tugs at the tight collar of his secondhand tuxedo, which feels way too hot in this stuffy room.
Jean didn't care that it was Senior Prom and he didn't care that everyone was showing up tonight. All Jean cared about was the fact that Marco had roped him into this ridiculous event when he could be at home right now, wearing boxer shorts, eating junk food, and watching that shitty John Wayne movie marathon right now.
"We've been through worse," Marco reminds him with a grin, "Remember that time Ms. Zoe's goldfish Albert died and she made Principal Pixis hold a school-wide funeral for it?"
"Hey, that was a small price to pay for no homework," Jean shrugs, but he's smiling now as he sips from his small cup of punch, which had shockingly not been spiked yet but the night was still young, and Connie or Reiner or Ms. Zoe will get to it eventually.
Their friends are all they're, but they're scattered all over the auditorium; Jean can see Sasha and Connie about halfway across the room doing a very butchered attempt at krumping, but they look like they're having way too much fun with each other to give a damn about the strange looks they're getting.
Eren, Mikasa and Armin are standing nearby, all three of them hanging on to one another and laughing over something Jean can't hear. There were rumors going around that earlier that week Mikasa and Eren had gone back to just being friends, but that was either a lie or they were too damn close for their relationship to have suffered from it. Knowing them, Jean grudgingly admitted to himself that it was probably the latter. Oh well. Mikasa was a long forgotten goal, and he had to admit that he enjoyed being her friend more now that he wasn't constantly pining over her.
Reiner and Bertolt are secluded in a far corner, wearing matching tuxedos and Jean thinks that they're finally holding hands but he can't really tell from this distance. When Marco notices who Jean's staring at, he just smiles and says something about Reiner finally 'figuring himself out'. Annie is standing close to them, seeming to be half-heartedly listening to Mina's conversation with Franz and Hannah, who are sickeningly adorable together as always.
Jean didn't understand why Annie was even here, but judging by the way Mina grabs her arm every time she tried walking off, she was definitely at this prom against her will just like him. Still, Jean had to admit that she did look stunning in that green dress, and whenever Mina spoke to her Annie's smiles were small but genuine.
The only one of their gang not present was Christa, but Marco had mentioned something about her going to Ymir's school to attend the prom there in spite of the Lenz's vehement protests against her dating a "homeless ruffian girl". When she heard what Christa's parents had called her Ymir just cackled and demanded that they put that on her tombstone someday.
Jean actually thought that those two being an item was kind of cute, but he'd probably be more supportive if the discovery of their relationship hadn't been because Jean and Marco walked in on them making out in the Bott's living room. That was a fun weekend full of blushes and sneers from both sides...
"Don't look so grumpy, Jean," Marco says, breaking Jean from his thoughts with a gentle but firm elbow to the side. "It's Senior Prom, and the year's almost over! You can at least act like you're going to miss everyone when this is over!"
"I am!" Jean replies with sincerity that surprises himself, and he tugs at his tuxedo collar again, "I guess it's just easier to pretend that we're not spending our last months together." Marco blinks, staying silent for a moment but then he's giving Jean an understanding smile, slinging a companionable arm around the younger boy's shoulders. Had it been anyone but Marco, Jean would've shrugged the arm off immediately.
"Slow song," Marco notes as the music suddenly changes and the dancers switch to more calm movements. Well, most of them do. Connie and Sasha keep 'krumping', and Jean thinks he can see Ms. Hanji trying to get their English teacher Ms. Ral to do what looks like the Carlton with her. "You wanna dance, Jean?"
Jean feels a flash of surprise as he looks over at Marco, and the freckled boy suddenly is biting his bottom lip, as if he hadn't meant for his question to slip out. But Jean just smiles and shrugs, setting his cup down onto the table behind him.
"Screw it, it's Senior Prom - one dance with my best friend won't kill me." he sees, and Marco is beaming more brightly than ever as the two weave their way onto the dance floor.
~.~
The moon's full tonight, and Jean only knows this because he and Marco are laying in the middle of Marco's floor and looking up through the large skylight of his room. Their graduation robes are folded up into pillows behind their heads, and their diplomas are already being hung up in the living room by Marco's dad. Jean still smiles when he thinks of the way Mrs. Bott had insisted on hanging Jean's up too.
"You're family now, Jean," she'd assured him with a motherly peck on the cheek and if Ymir hadn't come along at that moment and congratulated Jean with a hard slap on the ass, Jean probably would've cried right there in the middle of the room.
"It's kind of crazy, isn't it?" Marco asks quietly, his gaze still on the stars above them. Jean looks over at him, and briefly notes that Marco's freckles almost perfectly match a constellation that he'd been staring at moments ago. "Feels like we just met each other on that old wet bus yesterday, and now we'll be heading out to college in a few shorts months..."
"Tell me about it," Jean sighs softly in agreement, fiddling with the class ring on his hand. He still couldn't believe it; he'd survived high school, heartbreaks, Ymir, his father abandoning him, and now here he was, a fresh high-school graduate who'd actually managed to get into the college of his choosing.
The Three Saints University was about a day's drive from Wallgate City, and Jean had recently found out that most of his friends were actually heading there too, including Marco. Skype could've kept him in contact with all of them, but somehow knowing that Marco would still be by his side through the next big phase of his life had taking so much of his anxiety away.
"Hey, Jean," Marco pipes up again after a long, comfortable stretch of silence, but his words are nearly interrupted by a loud yawn, which then makes Jean yawn as well. "Thanks again for letting me sit with you that day..."
Jean smiles, stretching his arms above his head with another loud yawn before he rolls over onto his side, flashing Marco a tired grin.
"You're welcome, Marco," he replies sleepily. Marco smiles again, opening his mouth to say something but before he can get the words out the excitement of their graduation day catches up to Jean and he drifts off into sleep.
Marco stares at his best friend for a moment longer before he smiles and sits up to move over to his bed, and as he stands he brushes his fingers briefly through Jean's sandstone-colored hair. Jean just smiles at the contact and snuggles down as Marco covers him with a spare sheet, and both of them fall asleep with smiles on their faces.
~.~
"Jeez, this place actually looks more pretentious in person than it did in the damn brochure," Jean snorts as he tugs a stack of cardboard boxes out of the back seat of Marco's station wagon, but Jean's sour mood from having to wake up so early does nothing to dispel the huge grin on Marco's face as the two of them look around at the huge campus. No surprise there - Marco's smile is still as chronic as Jean's cynical attitude. "Why do they have statues of random chicks in the quad?"
"Jean, they're not random chicks!" Marco gasps, sounding as close to offended as Jean had ever heard him. "They're Sina, Maria, and Rose, the three sister saints that founded this college!"
"So yeah, random chicks," Jean retorts with the same disinterest, shoving the rear door on his side shut just as an obnoxiously bright orange van pulls into the parking lot, nearly hitting Jean and his boxes as it comes to a stop in the spot beside them.
"What the-?! Damn it Connie!" Jean snaps, staggering back against Marco's car to keep his boxes from toppling over onto him. Connie grin's apologetically from the driver's seat while Sasha hops out of the passenger's side, sliding the side door open and rummaging through their mismatched collection of boxes and duffel bags for her closest supply of snacks. Jean tries not to roll his eyes; they'd all stopped for lunch less than an hour ago but apparently three hamburgers had done nothing to satisfy Sasha's hunger.
"Can you guys believe we're finally starting college?!" she exclaims over her shoulder, suddenly looking more interested in the box of Twinkies now in Connie's hand rather than the loads of luggage they still have to tote to their houses. They'd all really lucked out - this was one of the few colleges in the area that allowed first-year students to live off-campus, and Marco and Connie had managed to hunt down a small duplex practically across the street from the university. Marco and Jean would take one side, while Sasha and Connie shared the other.
"I still can't believe you two actually got accepted into college in the first place," Jean retorts, but a quick elbow to the side from Marco reminds Jean that he'd promised to play nice with the other students today.
"C'mon, let's get to orientation over with already so we can actually have free time later to move ourselves in," Connie suggests, and Jean just shrugs as Marco takes the boxes from him to be put back into the car. Without waiting for an answer, Connie, Sasha and the box of Twinkies are on the move towards a group of freshman gathering across the yard, and Marco looks over at Jean with a wide smile.
"You ready, Jean?" he asks, and his damn, sweet infectious smile soon has Jean grinning as well.
"Yeah, ready Marco," he replies, clapping a hand on Marco's shoulder as they head towards their orientation. Once again, and without feeling like someone jinxed it, Jean thought that this was going to be a pretty good year.
~~.~~