1st Brigade Corporal Joseph Steinbeck- 34th Expedition

Day 1-

Finally! A real expedition! I knew at some point my sister had to let me go out beyond the wall. I mean she has influence as one of the commanders of the Survey Corps and did her best to keep me in the most boring positions for the first 6 months after I passed my training, with flying colours I might add!

Anyway I'm part of the 34th Expedition beyond the wall, 1st Brigade Corporal too! I can't wait to show them what I can do. It wasn't until afterwards however I found out that she was sending her husband Captain Samuel Zoë as head of the left wing of the 1st brigade which was the exact unit I was part of, no doubt to keep a 'close eye on me' I bet she asked him. Anyway he gave me half his bread at suppertime today so I guess that is a sign of what I can expect from here on out. Still we leave tomorrow at dawn tomorrow so I guess I should get some sleep, I should probably say goodbye to my sister too before I go.

Day 2-

Met a pretty girl as we rode down the street and out the gate today she literally climbed onto the side of my horse and kissed me on the cheek saying 'Stay safe' then before she disappeared into the crowd she handed me a rose which I pressed neatly in this very notebook.

Captain Zoë and the other officers gave us all armbands after we had set up camp, I didn't ask why but I guess it was to mark us all in case we died and couldn't be recognised? Pretty pointless unless someone is willing to cut open a titan and find the armbands inside! Grim thought I guess, but a practical one.

I asked my Brother in law to stop sharing his meal with me. I told him that I wasn't a child and that I didn't need help feeding myself. He just laughed and said 'as you wish'. I swear if he doesn't take me seriously!

Anyway I had a malfunction with my manoeuvre gear today so I am spending most of this evening fixing that. I never got round to seeing any of the other comrades I would be fighting with, which I guess would be a sensible Idea if I am to be risking my life for them. Ill introduce myself to the ones I don't know tomorrow.

Day 3-

As our unit departed from the main bulk of the expedition, we were attacked by several titans. And I killed my first real Titan! It was monstrous! Towering above me like a great tree and with a grotesque grin on its face it had to have been a 15 meter class at least! I think the thing that scared me the most was how calm the titans did everything. I mean even when they do attack fast, they still do not change their expression, just the shape of their mouths. It was very unnerving but I over came it feeling a great rush of pride as I sheathed my swords. I was a little disappointed that many others had killed at least two and Captain Zoë even managed to kill three! But it didn't worry me too much everyone had survived and I felt that we had really achieved something.

Unfortunately the titans had smashed any chance we had of taking the originally planned route so we had to backtrack and try to reach our checkpoint. It was eerily quiet as we rode back no one spoke and there were no audible sounds of nature. Except maybe be the gentle blow of the wind and the horses hooves on the path. Anyway we are hold up in an abandoned stone ruin tonight and I volunteered to be the first watch so Ill finish Wri…..

(The Rest of the page has been torn out roughly)

Day 4-

It's all my fault. There is nothing else to say. I was so caught up in writing in my journal I didn't even alert the group that their was a 7 meter class Titan approaching the encampment. I saw and alerted the brigade too late, I think I even torn my page in my panic. Because of me someone died. I do not even know who it was! I never talked much with the rest of the brigade and that may be way I was beaten so badly by the other members until the Captain and two other officers managed to separate us I had a dislocated shoulder and a black eye after that. Luckily no broken bones and I think I broke Reynolds' nose when I defended myself, but it was made difficult to write until my arm was popped back into place. Samuel keeps telling me it wasn't my fault that I wasn't the only sentry out. But I cannot accept that I can be totally absolved from blame when lives are at stake. Tomorrow isn't going to be great as we have a lot of ground to cover before we reach our checkpoint. Things have quieted down for the moment but I can feel the glare of my comrades on me tonight. I need to be carful.

Day 5-

As I expected the majority of the day was spent riding and we didn't meet any titans for a quite a while on the dusty road until we had a 15 meter Aberrant suddenly burst out from a deep gorge in the road! Devouring Corporal Aleandra and crushing Corporal Smyth with its enormous hand. I remember the Aberrent's look. Eyes wide and wild and mouth open in a sickly gape with a silvery beard. It launched itself out of the ground on all fours and made my horse rear up in fright. However this I would later learn would be a blessing in disguise. As the Aberrent's attack made everyone forget about my mistake, and that night they were all discussing about the deaths of their comrades. They even let me join in! I didn't know Smyth too well but I talked a lot with Aleandra. She was a sweet girl. Full of giggles and I remember she was one of only 3 women in our brigade. She mentioned that her father was assistant or something to the King! which really impressed me. But the thing I remember most about her was when she said 'she was proud to serve'. Poor Girl, she was so scared when she died It torn me to pieces!

Day 6-

(A dark red stain smears the top half of this page)

Captain Samuel lost his arm to a titan today! We managed to save him but his arm was lost to the abyss of the titan's mouth. It was horrible! What on earth am I going to tell my sister! We were riding as usual then several titans appeared and attacked. Samuel was riding just in front of me and stayed there even after the titans started attacking and then suddenly a small 7 meter class leaped at Samuel spraying blood all over me! I managed to take out one of its eyes, which actually made it let go of Samuel's arm, before I sliced the nape of the neck. But the damage was done and Samuel was loosing a lot of blood. Eventually I stopped most of the bleeding with an improved bandage and the titans were eventually killed too. Several comrades helped load the Captain onto the supply wagon and proper medical attention was given. So I believe he will be fine. I hope. Captain Bella says that he will need to be returned to the wall as soon as possible, but that we were just to far into the mission to turn back now. I guess I could understand. Anyway Samuel regained consciousness around suppertime and after the first initial shock of realising he had 3/4 the number of limbs he should have, It was my turn to share my bread with Samuel.

Day 7-

Its over…The last hope I had is now gone! Scum! All of them! The moment Samuel and I awoke on the seventh day. We had a dozen swords pointing at our throats. Us and a few other 'Traitors' were herded into the middle of a clearing and tied up by other comrades claiming that we were traitors to everyone beyond the wall. I looked around at who I was tied with. As far as I could tell from my position, I had Samuel on my right and Captain Bella on my left and directly behind me was undoubtedly the other officer whom I did not know. It was a mutiny! They claimed that they were sick of seeing their comrades dying in what they considered unnecessary circumstances. Samuel then spoke up, his arm still with a fresh bandage which had been put their last night. He said 'No one ever dies in vein, with every death comes progress into beating these monsters' He was quickly silenced with a kick to the face! I then intervened shouting at them to Let us go and stop all this meaningless nonsense but then I was punched in the stomach and I couldn't utter another word if I wanted to. They told me that though I was not an officer It was evidently clear were my loyalties were. Then they left on their horses taking our ones with them! It was a full 10 minutes before we figured out a way of getting loose from the bindings. Luckily for us we stayed calm and didn't make to much noise to draw any titans to us.

We headed North. As we had left the Wall Maria at the south gate. Goodness knows how long it will take.

Day 8-

We discovered bodies and horse carcasses today as we journeyed North on foot. We had only little food and water and were getting by mostly on wild berries, which grew on the side of the road. The bodies were unmistakeably the traitors who tied us up and left us! How Ironic I thought, that in a world were the biggest threat are the monstrous beings, which eat mankind for fun, Mankind is yet more deadly a threat. Bella suggested we search the half torsos and saddle bags to find a piece of evidence to bring back to the wall and explain our predicament. I found what looked like a letter crushed up in a saddle bag which was essentially a mother congratulating her son on joining the Survey Corps but then something interesting was written at the bottom. It read: PS- Please Do be carful, The money you received from the Military Police helped us but please don't make a habit of this my dear. Love Mother

A bribe perhaps? Or a private investment? I showed the others and they seemed to concur that it was unmistakably a bribe from the Military Police. But to do what? So many questions still puzzle me. But more importantly where are all of the titans that killed them all and why had they not eaten the bodies?

Day 9-

This was the page that I pressed the flower that girl gave me. I guess it must have dropped out. Pathetic really that that is the first thing I think of when I write the accounts of our aborted expedition. We found out what happened to the titans that destroyed our brigade. They were there! We just didn't see them until it was too late, we lost Captain Bella and Captain Isaac to them as we ran into cover and sheltered while they ate them. Their screams. Mercy me! Their screams still reverberate in my ears even now. We ran out of water and for our 3D maneuverer gear it got to badly damaged when we fought off the titans that ate the Captains. Don't know how long we have until we reach Wall Maria but I'm loosing hope with every step. Samuel has been a big support. He always stays positive and even though he is missing his left arm now, he really seems to be eager to fight on. I guess the thought of seeing my sister is the only thing motivating us now.

(The rest of the page is burned)

Day 10-

We had a really big heart to heart talk around a small fire tonight and we talked bout many things. It was nice. I knew that if we both made it out alive we would be as good as brothers. Oh yeah and one minor detail I left out of the journal, we picked up some scum traitor survivor who we found sleeping in a large ditch on the side of the road. We placed him under arrest and found out through a little 'persuading' that the entire brigade had been bribed with money and residence in Wall Sina to kill the officers of our brigade and claim that there was nothing more to investigate in the area we were supposed to go. When I asked why he replied: 'why not?'. No regard to life at all. Scum. I beat him to within an inch of his life until Samuel pulled me off him. I imagine with one arm that must have been difficult. But we had an argument after that me claiming that he should be tied up and left here just like he did to us and he claimed that we needed him to testify what happened. After a few minutes it then developed into the heart to heart talk. The Traitor moaning against a tree with blood trickling down his face.

Day 11-

Unfortunately we are reduced to burning the pages of this journal of keep us warm at night so I don't think ill have room for many more entry's. We lost the traitor to an aberrant this morning (Good Riddance) and we found a river in the forest were we managed to get drinking water in a bottle and carry on walking. Samuel isn't coping well, his fight with the aberrant without a manoeuvre gear was almost beyond belief he managed to take it down without an arm and without proper equipment. It was incredible! But it destroyed his willpower and he has no motivation left. I don't know what to do. I don't know how much longer we can hold out outside the wall.

Samuels wounds are looking nasty, his severed arm has become infected and I have no more clean bandages he keeps telling me to leave him. but I cant leave him to die. He tells me to tell my sister he loves her and that he is sorry that they cannot have the daughter they always talked about. I tell him that he can tell her that himself and I drag him still onward.

Day 12-

Samuel is dead…This is it. The end of the road. My final entry into this Journal, after which I will place it on the road for any future Survey corps expeditions and continue my journey to the wall gathering as much information on titans as I can along the way. To the survey corps, the Military Police is not to be trusted I fear corruption may run deep in the organisation, It is up to the rest of us to up route it and expose it. To any surviving members of the 34th expedition know that the south east road I have taken is fallen and the titans are too many to fight, also an aberrant is trapped beneath a fallen tree on the north direct route. Be carful comrades.

To my Sister, all I can offer you are my apologies, I'm sorry, so sorry Hange, I let you down. But who knows maybe some day I will reach the wall and we will be reunited but know that Samuel died fighting and died a hero not conquered. This is 1st Brigade Corporal Joseph Steinbeck of the 34th expedition. Stay safe…