As they walk side by side, first on the rail tracks then into the forest, he has this feeling in his chest, and no words to describe it.
Carol is alive. Carol is here. Carol is by his side.
He doesn't think using her first name makes any difference, since it's all in his head, but he needs it so badly. Carol. Carol. Carol.
For a second, he's taken back to when he got to hug her, and when tears had fallen, and he had felt perfectly fine. He had never dared ask for her back, whether to God or to anybody or anything, he had never dared, yet he had been granted his silent plea.
She had smelled so bad, as some of her hair and her neck had still been covered in Walkers' blood, but she had felt like home. Like Carol. Maybe home is Carol. They have been on the road for so long, but she is home. When she is there, it's okay, it's bearable. When she's there, there's nothing they can't do.
At one point, he supposes they will have to talk, about what she did which made Rick kick her out of their little semi hippie community (Seriously, a few more crops of potatoes, and they would have been a fucking commune). He has thought of what he wants to say, not that he thinks it matters. To him, it's okay. Hell, to him, it's more than okay, not because he didn't like the deceased, but because he understands where she had been coming from: it had been for the children. She probably told Rick something about wanting to save them all, but he knows better, and he knows that even though Judith is not her own and will never be her own, she had been thinking of the kids, of the babes, of the little ones who couldn't defend themselves when she had done what she had done.
Sure, she has to atone, and if the way she talked to Tyreese is any indication, he perhaps understands, perhaps has agreed to let her atone partly. Daryl doesn't know. He will, soon enough.
Carol is back, and it feels so fucking good. He has a thought for Beth, and he hopes wherever she is, she's okay. She is the little sister he never had, and never would have had, given the parents he had had. He knows he will need to tell Carol about it too.
Rick is their leader, everybody is okay with that, but Daryl feels like it's his duty when it's any Carol-related business. He wishes still he had been there when Rick had decided to play God and he kicked her out, because when Carol is concerned, he feels concerned too.
He doesn't know how to express it, how to tell her. He thinks of her husband, and the weak birdie she had been under his tyranny, and he looks at the warrior who has saved them all today. She can handle her own, and maybe she wouldn't be okay with his being concerned, but he cares so much.
It's Carol, alright?
It's Carol. His best friend, his soul mate, if he is pussy enough to utter such words. She is everything to him, and when she was gone, he was surviving, just as he had before he had become part of a group.
But Carol is here now.
He has so many words on the tip of his tongue, he can barely get his shit together. He feels like he's dreaming when he feels a hand brush his, and he looks at her sideways.
It's no innocent gesture, that he can tell. Ball is in his camp, right?
He grabs her hand, and holds tight.
It's Carol, for Fuck's sake.
Tomorrow they may die, but today, today is what it is, a mixture of horror, and small moments that make it worth living.
He's holding Carol's hand, and the first one who has a problem with that can kiss his ass.
He sees her smile, and he realizes that amongst all the horror he just witnessed, he still has it in him, to smile, and be happy.
Carol. She makes it all worth it, Apocalypse and all.