By GreyEyesGlaringAtShonda (formerly known as Greyeyedgirl)
May 23, 2007
Summary: Marriage isn't the finish line, it's only the beginning of the race. Cristina and Burke have to learn to pace themselves, after the disturbance of the starting pistol.
A/N: This starts off as what had been happening with Cristina and Burke towards the end of season 3, and then throughout a slightly different version of finale; the real story is what happens after ('s gonna be a long summer, folks…).
Lyrics are from "Falling of the Rain" by Billy Joel.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
THE WEDDING
Once upon a time in the land of misty satin
dreams
There stood a house and a man who painted nature scenes
He
painted trees and fields and animals and streams and he stayed
And
he didn't hear the fallin' of the rain
He knew she was probably being lavished with much-deserved compliments right now, but he was a man. While today was probably the one day where he might actually be able to simply shrug it off were Shepherd to tell him he looked handsome, that thankfully wasn't tested. After all, he was a man.
Even so, he wanted to look nice for her, and some conformation on that would be appreciated.
He looked in the mirror and smiled, adjusting his collar slightly. He was trying not to picture her, wanting to be surprised, overcome with the flooding of raw emotion he instinctively incorporated with his wedding day.
He bet she looked beautiful. His smile in the mirror widened.
In the forest green lived a girl who put her
hair in braids
And she sang as she walked all around the wooded
glade
She was glad when the rain came falling on her face and she
sang
'Cause she didn't mind the fallin' of the rain
It was just one day, and at the end of it they'd have the rest of their lives. She could put up with this dress, which she could barely breathe in; and all these random people she didn't know, who spoke with accents and said things like "y'all" instead of "hey, you" and "suit" instead of "fit;" and she could put up with nearly being strangled to death and having to lose her eyebrows to some strange woman who she'd started calling "Mama;" if it meant that at the end of the day, they'd be getting the rest of their lives. The wedding in itself wasn't so important, it was what it meant and what it would bring them; it was the smile he'd be holding in his eyes just for her. Everything else was just details. She could give him this, in order to get what she wanted. It was just one day, and at the end, they'd have the rest of their lives.
It didn't matter if her vows had been washed away, or that Bill Adams couldn't make it, or that Saul's flight had been delayed due to some idiot with Pop Rocks and he was stuck in L.A. This was Burke, and she was Cristina, and they were going to get married.
She watched with anticipation as her half of the wedding party lined up. Meredith gave her one last smile of encouragement before taking her place, and Cristina felt a grin spread across her face as the doors swung slowly open. Burke's father stepped forward next to her, hooking her elbow in his and smiling down at her.
Her attention was towards the front, just as anxious as he was for the first glimpse, until their desires were reached at exactly the same instant.
He looked really, really nice. He was naturally handsome (she stopped herself from using the phrase 'good-looking'), but this was an exemplified enhancement; she forced her to body to mask her instinctual lust as she continued down the aisle towards him.
And then she was there, and his hand had wove its way into hers, as she took a step and turned her body so she was facing him. His face was glowing, his breath slightly caught. She reached up vaguely to straighten his collar, as his other hand drifted casually up past his torso to connect with hers.
There it was, gazing right down into her. That look of satisfaction, his radiance of divine contentment as he squeezed her hands. This was what made it all worth it.
She was oblivious to Burke Sr. releasing her arm, and the music's fall to its end, as she kept her eyes locked with Burke's, dancing with him the familiar rhythm of their World. She heard the minister begin his speech and listened as best as she could, feeling that world broaden out to form their life together.
That thought was appropriately tacky. She grasped it for the clincher to her vows.
Crap. The vows.
She looked towards the minister, sensing the impending moment—
"…which Preston and Cristina have decided to write themselves. Preston, if you'll begin."
She heard herself murmur "Burke" automatically. She tensed up momentarily, worried, then relaxed, assuming she hadn't been overheard before catching a glimpse of a laugh cross her almost-husband's face. He smiled for a moment, then allowed his features settle into an expression of somberness.
He was briefly silent, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes for just a split second. She observed him carefully, nervous for him and his obvious anxiety, and squeezed his hands more tightly.
"Cristina."
She smiled, half encouragingly and half genuinely, relaxing at the sound of his voice murmuring her name.
"I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you.
"I could promise to be there in sickness and in health.
"I could say, ''til death to us part'…But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples. The ones full of hope, and I do not stand here on my wedding day, optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful."
Cristina raised her painted-on eyebrows, feeling slightly relieved as his grip around her hands tightened. Maybe she didn't have to be so worried about these vows after all.
"I am SURE. I am steady. And I know."
Burke paused, his voice softening even more, if that were possible.
"I am a heart man. I take them apart. I put them back together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So THIS, I am sure."
Cristina stood, mesmerized, sensing with some foreign part of her the sentiment which would accompany his next statements.
"You are my partner, my lover…My very best friend. My heart, my heart beats for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands. I promise you, me."
She held her breath for a moment before feeling it taken away by his lips brushing hers, and blushed in the few moments that followed.
She'd never expected her vows to be better than Burke's, it was unfathomable enough for her just to imagine them comparable to his. She wasn't exactly surprised, therefore, at the careful awkwardness of her words, uttered in that uncharacteristically quiet voice his presence always seemed to evoke in her. She was surprised, however, at her disappointment, while Burke smiled patiently and squeezed her hands as she fumbled out some sort of nursery school rhyme to combat his Shakespearean sonnet. His smile never wavered, just widened as he repeated the words instructed to him, and slid the ring carefully onto her finger. She followed his lead, taking the ring tentatively, sliding it onto his finger as she began the speech.
The words pronouncing them husband and wife were barely out of the minister's mouth before he'd leaned in and started kissing her, and the spark of excitement that had flooded through her meshed into the ecstasy of their arms wrapping around each other.
She knew they'd then went under the chupah and drank the wine, and he'd shattered the glass and at some point she'd rolled her eyes when Izzie yelled with enthusiasm, "Mazel Tov!"
She knew they'd went to the reception, and danced to a dozen of his favorite songs and a handful of her own, separated only twice, when he danced with his mother and then her own, and she'd heard a murmur of congratulations as she politely accepted his father's invitation to dance.
She knew they'd at some point gotten on a plane, off for five days of sun and relaxation (or more accurately, fluorescent hotel lights and a familiarity with the bed).
Through all of this her eyes barely left Burke's for a moment.
Only when she woke up, clutching him tightly in the middle of the night, and found him gazing at her with awe, did she manage to feel completely herself again.
She smiled, kissing him, consumed by his passion but not objecting to it.
This was how it was supposed to be. The marriage part. She could enjoy the excitement of the race, the rush, and let it wash over her.
This was a race worth finishing.
She was going to like being married. She was almost sure of it.
Will it always be the same as we recall?
Does
it touch you when the rain begins to fall?
Ah, but I don't want to
know and I don't want to see
Another rainy day without you lyin'
next to me
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
A/N: This is sort of the back story, the next chapter will take place awhile after, and be more angst-y, where you start to see the aftermath, and then slowly figure out what happened as it tries to be resolved. Oooh, drama.
Whatever, it's me, you know it'll be fluff. :D