My Life in Pages

August 21
Dear Diary,

Is this for real? Am I really fourteen? No way! My name is Tenten. I am FOURTEEN and lovin' it! Right now, I can't trust you with my deep secrets. This diary might be booby trapped. After all, I got if from my father who always wants to learn a teenage girl's secret. Oh, did I forget to mention this? I'm a KUNOICHI and lovin' it! Even though it isn't exciting. I'm using that FRAZE alot and lovin' it. SPLAT! Sorry. There was a bug- ew! There's bug juice all over my diary! Great. Just great. Ah! Is that a spider? I'm the daughter of JIRAIYA and TSUNADE and lovin'/hatin' it! My mother is the well respected Hokage of Konoha and one of the legendary Sannins. My dad is the unrespected SUPER pervert of... everywhere. He's also a Sannin. The third Sannin is snake man- er Orochimaru. SLAM! Sorry. My dad was in the room. Our conversation went like this.

"DAD! OUT OF MY ROOM!" I yell, throwing anything unvaluable towards him. "Why sweetie?" he asks with an innocent look. How I hate that look. He looked like one of his frogs. After what seemed like thirty minutes of yelling at him, I had to use the greatest method of all time. "MOM! Dad's being a pervert!" I yelled. On cue, my mom went storming in my room. I really love my mom. "JIRAIYA!" she yells. After that, they took it outside.

Back to my lovin' it list. I'm well RESPECTED (unlike somebody over here. Hmm... I wonder who? -.-) in Konohgakure and lovin' it! I'm best friends with the KAZEKAGE of SUNA, Sabaku no Gaara, and lovin' it! And did I mention that I'm the girlfriend of the hearthrob, UCHIHA SASUKE and lovin' it?!

Sasuke-kun is so cute! We've been together since... we were ten. Yeah, we sorta kept our relationship on the downlow for a few years. And if you're saying it's too young, you should have seen Ino! She had her first boyfriend at five! Eventually, they found out we were together when we were both thirteen. I'm also in the same team as bushy-brows (please don't tell Gai-sensei I said that!), clone of bushy-brows (please don't tell Lee that either!), and the Hyuuga prodigy of Konoha, who is also a pain in the ---. My parents don't want me to use bad language. Hey, I didn't write it so it doesn't count! But wait, why can't I use bad language and I can't?! Oh yeah. They're mature (yeah... right... very mature) adults. SLAM!

That wasn't me. I guess my mom is pissed. Better see what's wrong. Sigh. I wish I had my pink panther music.

We'll have a short intermission. Please throw any of your trash away during this time.

We are back from our short intermission. Please be seated in your seats.

"I hate him... hate him... hate him... hate him... HATE HIM!" my mom yelled. "Then why did you marry him?" I ask. Apparently, my mom wasn't aware of her daughter's presense and screamed. "Tenten, you scared me," she panted. "I can tell," I replied back monotonously. She chuckled. "Well, I love him so much, but at times he can be a real jerk," she said. I raised an eyebrow. "You swore," I said. Mom sighed. "I'm older than you Ten-chan, so I can swear," she said. At least her lecture wasn't as long as last time. The previous one was about an hour long. The only bright side was that I got to 1/4 of my training/Neji beating me up into a pulp time. OW! Sorry. I hit my toe. Well anyways, mom proceeded with her infamous speech, called, "Even Though He is a Pain in the Buzzum, I Still Love Him Dearly," for about fifteen minutes before dad barged in. I backed out of the room very slowly. Apparently, they didn't notice me doing so.

Crud. My hand hurts like hell (that's the only swear word my parents let me say. I don't even feel that it's a swear word). Well, I better get going. I have a lot of things to do.

1. Massage hand.

2. Find a safe place to keep this in.

3. Lock all the windows.

4. Convince mom to get a lock on the door.

5. Train with Neji.

6. Get ready for date with Sasuke.

7. Wait for Sasuke.

8. Go on date with Sasuke.

etc.

Peace out (that's so old)!

- Tenten