'I'm cold and broken
It's over I didn't want to see it come to this
I wonder if I will ever see your face again
And I know that I will find a way to shed my skin
It's simple I know that I will suffer in the end'
She had been made a chunin at age thirteen. She was then made into a jounin at age twenty-seven. She had been a ninja all her life. She was supposed to get used to death, wasn't she? It was a part of her life. Taking lives, seeing comrades die.
So why..., why did her death affect her more than any other? Why did she feel empty inside now?
Ever since Anko went on the S-rank mission to bring down one of the Akatsuki members. She died. Her teammates all but one perished, the rest lie in the hospital, some may yet die.
She'd taken lives...
Why did Anko's death affect her?
'Fast I fade away
It's almost over
Hold on
Slow I suffocate
I'm cold and broken
Alone'
She felt so cold. So alone. Anko was her best friend. She was more than that really... They had gotten engaged. No one had been told, of course, the villagers were a gossipy lot.
She didn't want to go on.
She knew that wasn't how she should feel. It was against her shinobi training. Yet here she was.
Torn. Broken. Alone. Cold.
Her love had been taken from her. Ripped from her life.
She was numb.
At the same time, she was angry. Anko was only twenty-four! Twenty-four! She had at least another ten years... But, that was the price of being a shinobi, wasn't it? A quick end. A life cut short.
Leaving comrades, friends, family. If you're lucky, you get a quick end, if you are not..., it is horrible.
'It's hopeless, the end will come and wash it all away
Forsaken, I live for those I lost along the way
And I can't remember how it all began to break
You suffer, I live to fight and die another day'
She knew she had to continue. Despite everything. She would continue.
It was the shinobi way.
Despite her feelings, she would have to. Tsunade would allow her a reprieve, a few weeks. She was understanding. It was likely she even knew of their engagement.
A part of her died with Anko, she felt that, deep within her soul. She was fractured in a way she never was from a death. Even her first kill as a genin. Losing Anko..., she felt disconnected. As if she were living a dream. As if she would wake at any moment, next to her love. She half-expected it really. On a level, she knew though. Anko was gone. She was alone. She was broken, on the inside. She would never be the same. She could live peacefully for what? Five years? Death would catch her eventually.
She couldn't purposefully let herself die though... Even if it was tempting. There was no honor in that.
She must continue to live. For Anko.
She would die honorably though. Like Anko.
'Fast I fade away
It's almost over
Hold on
Slow I suffocate
I'm cold and broken
Alone
Fast I fade away
It's almost over
Hold on
Slow I suffocate
I'm cold and broken
Alone
I'm cold and broken'