Chapter 1- The Lure of the Forbidden

All I wanted to do was to touch him, to be near him or just to talk more to him but the night we met we were not alone. As I heard his name for the first time my lips curled into a smile, "Edward." It gave me a name to use when my mind would wander but how could I want someone else, I had a guy but as I gazed up into Edward's green eyes for the first time I could not have told you my boyfriend's name. Instead I just smiled shyly and held out my name, "BellaDee is my name. Pleasure to meet you."

First time our eyes met I felt faint, I saw him but then it was like I saw pictures flashing through my mind faster than I could see them clearly. It all left me breathless. Talking to him I found myself staring at his lips wondering if they were soft and how it would feel to kiss him. Then as if he sensed it he bite down softly on his bottom lip making my eyes widen. Oh to bite that lip! I held my breath for a moment then slowly let it out.

"So do I call you Bella or Dee?" His voice was low and gruff. God was there nothing about this man that would not appeal to me?

"Bella please."

Pleasure to meet you too Bella." My name on his voice was like music to my ears and had the strangest effect on me. My knees trembled a bit as I clutched the table trying to act nonchalant my boyfriend wandered over. The last thing I needed was to set him off. I shuddered thinking of his reaction if he knew what I was thinking of as I looked at Edward. Edward gazed at me with soft eyes then asked, "Are you okay? You just got so pale."

His hand on my face shocked me and sent a shiver of coldness down my spine. I shook my head quickly but before I could reply Christian spoke. "Edward, she is fine." With those words Christian wrapped an arm around me pulling me back from Edward then he whispered to me, "Do we need to leave?"

"No." I whispered back quietly while I kept my brown eyes looking at Edward. "I want to stay please."

"Very well. Then you should eat." Christian kissed my cheek and walked off leaving me and Edward alone once again but now it felt awkward.

I started to move from him when I felt a hand on my arm, "you don't have to leave." Turning my head to look at him I noticed his eyes taking me in. In those eyes I was lost, deep green pools that seemed to draw me in. What the hell was it about him? I was speechless and just nodded. "Bella, you didn't tell me about you."

I found my voice and then laughed softy, "I didn't know what you wanted to know."

"Everything. Well." He ran a hand through his hair and then spoke again, "everything you want to tell me."

Just the way he hesitated; the way he was looking at me...did he feel it too? This attraction between us, it was making me a mess. All I wanted was to lean up and kiss him just to see his reaction. Would he kiss me back or would he push me away? God all I wanted to do was find out but instead I fought my urges. I told him about how I was just finishing up college and planning to find a job. I rambled on and on while my hands fumbled with my long dark brown hair out of nervousness.

Finally he reached over and put his hands on mine, "Bella, breathe."

I blinked my brown eyes and nodded then took in a deep breath. He pulled me with him to walk outside. In the night air I noticed how much taller than me he was. He had to be over 6 feet tall while I was a mere 5'6 but I liked being able to stare up at him. Now in the moonlight as I stared up it seemed to frame him casting a light around him. I shook my head at my stupid thoughts and leaned against the house. "You must think I am some kind of freak."

"No, but I am curious about something."

As he spoke he came closer and closer to him until he had me pinned against the house. We were nose to nose and I could feel his warm breath on my face. "You are with Christian?"

"Yes." I muttered. God the nearness of him was so tempting. His hands were holding my arms by my side and it was all I could do not to lean forward, just an inch and kiss him. He was intoxicating in a way that I had never known. His green eyes, his smile, his brown hair that I was dying to run my fingers through, his voice that make me shiver when he spoke my name, and his lips. God his lips as I stared at them willing him to kiss me.

Instead he spoke again, "Are you like his sub then?"

Swearing under my breath I stared at him in shock. He knew what Christian was? What I was? Turning bright red I lowered my head not wanting to admit the truth. I called him my boyfriend but Christian never called me his girlfriend. I was just his sub, nothing more. So Edward would know all that about me, he knew that and yet he was here staring at me in a way that was seriously making me want to attack him. "I am, but wait you know about Christian?"

"Yes I know all about him and his stupid ways." He seemed to be upset as he looked at him. "If he hurts you." He stopped then suddenly let me go.

"If he hurts me?" I whispered dying to know what else he was thinking.

"It's not my place. You are with him."

"But if I ask again? I want to know what you were going to say."

"Bella, I should never have said a word. It's not my place."

"Edward." I whined his name and then suddenly he was back pinning my arms against the wall and his eyes pierced into mine. He didn't say a word but he didn't need to, the look on his way said it all. He cared about me, about what happened to me. It was in the way he was gazing at me and I had to know for sure. I opened my mouth then shut it so scared but I had to ask, "Edward, maybe it is your place."

"You want me to tell you what I was thinking?"

"Yes." My breath caught and my heart was racing but I had to know. "Please tell me."

"Bella, he is a Dom. He will never love you like..." He stopped and closed his eyes then sighed. "He will never love you as you deserve, he won't be there like you want. You are just a plaything to him."

"How do you know what I deserve? You don't know me." I was fascinated watching him but he didn't' know me. I had a past that I was not proud of which is why I was in this kind of relationship. I had been in and out of relationships. I had even been married once which ended badly leaving me without my husband or our two children because soon after we broke up he and the kids had literally been ripped from my life when the plane they were on crashed. After that I gave up, love was not meant for me. I met Christian during that grief hazed time of my life, he offered me comfort and the attention I needed without the strings of a true relationship. It meant for me a way to not always been alone but also not to have to worry about my heart being broken yet again. That was so long ago I had forgotten that I had once been loved and that maybe I might be again. In that moment as I stared at Edward I felt a pang in a place I thought was long dead...my heart.

"I want to know you, does that count?" His words cut straight into me making me gasp for air. He wanted to know more about me? "Bella, breath damn it."

As he pulled me closer I closed my eyes breathing in deep then I put my arms around him and leaned hard against his chest. "I hurt all those who care about me." I stared up at him, "I ...I don't want to hurt you."

"Shush, breath and you won't hurt me. I know what the stakes are."

"And what are the stakes?" I whispered to him. My arms held him close to me and I fought not to collapse my body completely against his. "Edward, I am not what I appear to be."

"The stakes are my heart and how much I am willing to open up to you." He leaned down then brushed a piece of my hair back off my face. "Bella, I am not as I appear either."

Just then we heard voices and quickly straightened up pulling some distance in between us. I wanted to scream at the people to go back inside and leave us be. I wanted and needed to know what he meant by that. He was watching me with those green eyes of his so intently as if he was trying to read my mind. I bit my lip hard and fought with myself. My body was earning to be close to him again, it was like this strange pull or power he had over me.

I wanted to pull him with me to another room but then Christian strolled out. "There you are."

"Here I am." I answered trying to sound casual.

"I was thinking it's time to call it a night. I have other plans for us tonight." Christian's voice was stern as he informed of me his wishes and I stiffened at once.

"No no no!" It echoed in my head as I fought my emotions. Part of me was ready to fall into my submissive mode and follow Christian without a word but the other part of me was begging me to break free if even just for a night. I wanted to talk to Edward more, I needed to know what else he wanted to tell me but I was scared of what that might be too. Like a fly trapped in a web I was lost at which way to turn.

"Edward." His name rolled off my lips without thought and my eyes swept over to him. He gazed at me with a dark look then he just nodded at me before he turned to walk back into the party. As he walked away from me, my heart dropped.

"NO NO NO!" Again my mind screamed at me, don't let him walk away. That was all I could think of, what if he left and I never saw him again? What if I never felt this way about anyone else and I let him just walk away from me. Would I see him again?

I didn't get to finish my thoughts as Christian pulled me by my arm. In a daze I don't remember leaving the party or driving home. My mind was lost, Edward. Damn it, Edward was haunting my mind.

Before I knew it I was in the playroom with Christian. As he cuffed me to the cross on the wall he blindfolded me and turned on the music. I let myself get lost in the music. As hard as I tried I could not turn on my feelings tonight. Each slap of the crop from Christian on my skin hit but not in the normal way. I was not getting turned on, I just wanted him to hurry up and be done with me tonight.

Then a song started playing that made me think of him...Edward. Under the blindfold I closed my eyes and let my mind drift back to him. The first time our eyes met...that instant connection. All I wanted was him to be the one here with me now. His lips I wanted them on mine and I wanted to know what he meant by he was not as he appeared. My mind morphed into pictures of him that did it. I felt myself start to moan softly. I knew it was Christian who was touching me but in my mind it was Edward.

After Christian was done and drifted off to sleep I crept quietly to my room to lie on my bed staring up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and started to touch myself with him in my thoughts. I wanted his fingers to trace over my lips as I was doing now, I wanted him to be running his hands over my breasts and then lower between my legs. My fingers touching myself harder and harder while I moaned out his name softly, then as I came hard. I laid there breathless thinking of him before I let myself drift off with him in my dreams. Would I be able to find him again? Was there a connection or was I just imagining it?