Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

A/N: This is a fun what if story namely what if Ziva and Tony were dating prior to them meeting in the show and she returned to the US to care for him as he recovered from the plague right when Ari was back in town. Post Swak pre Twilight.

A Plague, a Babe and a Bastard

It was warm, it was nice, it was good. A heavy sleep, a peaceful sleep, a sleep that could only be brought by a very tiring day or very, very good sex and Anthony Dinozzo jr. had had both. In his sleep he nuzzled closer to her, to her olive skin and wild curly hair inhaling her scent mixed with that of their lovemaking.

It was a noise, a small one and her immediate frantic reaction that awoke him with a startle. Before he knew it Ziva stood gun in hand as naked as the day she was born, sweat and other fluids dripping from her body aiming at the intruder.

"Ari?" she asked and to Tony's complete confusion she dropped the gun put on a robe that laid next to the bed and hugged the terrorist that had kidnapped Kate and wounded Geralt, the one his boss had a personal vendetta against.

While Tony was trapped in his confusion his girlfriend and a terrorist where talking animatedly in Hebrew before him. Ziva seemed completely relaxed for which Tony took credit, the sex had been amazing but also happy to see Ari, were they friends? Tony didn't know. But Ziva quickly solved that problem.

"Tony, meet my brother Ari" Ziva said with a smile. Tony who had put on some boxers hoped his recognition was not readable as he put on his best Dinozzo smile and shook the man's hand.

"Nice to meet you," Tony said, "I would say pleasure to finally meet you but Ziva being a spy and all we don't really talk too much family or work."

Ari laughed softly at that.

"I'm going to assume you're a spy as well since you're breaking into my apartment in the middle of the night."

Ari smiled, a warm smile, "occupational hazard I hope you don't mind I needed to talk to Ziva, she tells me you are a federal agent so you understand the need to keep conversations confidential."

"Oh I do, I gotta hit the head so I'll let you talk, I don't speak Hebrew anyway but It'll make you more comfortable. "

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand to which Ari gave him a suspicious look but Dinozzo applied his best tactic: smile and make people think you're stupid. "What? you don't play snake on the toilet?" he asked with a grin passing the terrorist giving Ziva a quick peck on the lips, it might be the last so he better savour it and he headed into the bathroom closing the door hoping they thought he just wanted privacy and speed dialled 1.

"This better be good Dinozzo" The rough sleepy voice of his boss came into the phone.

"Boss "Tony hissed quietly "Ari Haswari is in my apartment."

"What?! are you alright? are you shitting me Dinozzo? cause I will headslap you into..."

"Boss! he's right outside the door and I'm locked up in the bathroom, he's my girlfriend's brother."

"Dinozzo!" Gibbs barked, "don't tell me you failed to mention that you knew Ari beforehand."

"Boss, I just found out, Ziva's Mossad and I'm a federal agent we don't exactly go into details about work and Ziva's last name is David not Haswari."

"You're hooking up with deputy director David's daughter and you didn't think to mention it?"

"Well it's not like we ever talk business or whatever and we're not just hooking up it's getting pretty serious, she's thinking about moving to the states getting a job here and …"

"Dinozzo! I don't care, can you arrest him or not?"

"Boss! there are two trained assassins in my bedroom and all I have on me is my boxers and a phone."

"Can you at least stall? I'm almost there."

"On it boss!" he said before shutting down the phone. He flushed and with a smile came out of the bathroom Ziva was getting dressed as Ari was sitting in the kitchen helping himself to a glass of his wine which he and Ziva had enjoyed last night as he softly talked on the phone.

Ari ended his call and in a lighting swift motion had his gun aimed at Tony's head. "Why were you calling one Leroy Jethro Gibbs? "he asked with a mocking tone.

"Well I just explained I won't be back for work yet, you see I just recently got the plague I'm still recovering and since you're here I thought I'd take you and Ziva for some sightseeing and since he doesn't actually sleep but builds a boat in his basement all night I hoped he would tell my boss why I'd not be in tomorrow." His lie was crappy but at least he nailed rule #7, he hoped Ari didn't know Gibbs rank or that he was on the team looking for him and thus knew him but deep down he knew it was futile.

"Ari !" Ziva said astonished before going on a string of heated Hebrew words.

But Ari didn't seem to care about Ziva's anger or Tony's crappy lie and the sound of multiple gunshots soon rang through the building.

Dammit Dinozzo why'd you have to be so stupid. hey boss my girlfriend's a Mossad assassin I thought you'd like to know that, would that really have been so difficult to mention? but as soon as Gibbs stepped out of the car his angers subsides as gunshots rang through the air outside Tony's apartment and he rushed ahead calling 911.

When he got to the apartment Ari was gone but Tony laid on the floor blood pouring out of his shoulder a hysterical woman next to him.

"Tony, Tony look at me!" she said her hands applying pressure to the wound or wounds actually he'd been shot in the side as well. "not so hard to do sweetcheeks. "Tony said with a smile causing a involuntary chuckle to escape Gibbs's lips, always the charmer even on his deathbed.

"Ambulance is on its way," Gibbs said announcing his presence crouching down softly headslapping him, "you hang in there Dinozzo that's an order."

"On it boss "Tony said dutifully surprising the exotic beauty hanging over him.

"Ari shot to kill, I tried to shove the gun away but I only managed to make him miss the heart."

"He's gone," Gibbs announced but soon the sound of the ambulance and the EMT's rushing up the stairs stopped any conversation as Tony's health came first.

Agent Todd rushed out of her car towards the hospital, she'd gotten a call this morning that Tony was shot and was in the hospital in critical condition and that Ari was somehow involved. Kate met up with Gibbs who was about to leave. "how is he Gibbs?" she greeted straight to the point as the man liked it.

"In surgery, ducky's on his way to keep me posted. Get miss David's statement and Tony's when he wakes up make sure to do it before they drug him up and make sure Ari doesn't try to finish the job!" Gibbs shouted as he headed off presumably to find Ari.

Kate was confused, Tony had still been recovering from the plague and wasn't cleared for duty let alone field work so how did he get into a gunfight with Ari Haswari? Kate regretted not stabbing the bastard more and more each day. As she found the waiting room for Tony's surgery she was greeted by a woman franticly pacing up and down the hallway with balled fists which was normally a macho male response to an evil or a problem that could not be solved with violence.

"Miss David? "she asked kindly to the young woman but her response was anything but that and soon she had a small pistol trained on her.

"Guns are not allowed in a hospital miss not without…"

"No one comes close to Tony without an id, "the woman hissed in a foreign accent unknown to Kate.

"I'm special agent Caitlin Todd NCIS, I work with Tony "she said softly showing her id trying to calm the frantic woman. Where the hell did Tony find this girl? and why was she so attached to him?

"The prudish one, yes? "the woman asked a sly smile now gracing her lips as she hid her gun again, "Tony has told me a lot about you."

"I am not prudish," Caitlin said annoyed, "and I'm afraid Tony has told us nothing about you."

"Well he was hoping to do it when he was recovered but those plans are gone now. " Ziva said her smile disappearing and a sad mask of a face being applied.

"I wanted to talk to you about that, I'm here to take you're full statement of the events of this morning."

"Okay."

"Full name and occupation."

"Ziva David Mossad officer."

"Mossad? you're an Israeli spy? "she said astonished that she was part of the Israeli intelligence service.

"Good, very good I had to explain what it was to Tony when we first met, "she said with a soft smile.

"You are aware that Mossad is not allowed to operate on US soil?"

"Oh, I am not here on duty for my country but my duty as a girlfriend."

"Duties as a girlfriend?" Kate asked.

"When you get told your boyfriend almost died of the damn plague wouldn't you come over and take care of him to make sure he recovers?"

"You're right," Kate amended, "God knows Tony can barely take care of himself normally and with the plague!"

"Yes I know! he's hopeless! so I came over because he needed me not because of my work."

"Can I just ask you off the records why? "

"Why what?" Ziva asked confused.

"Why Tony."

"Oh well he's very funny and entertaining he makes me feel young and careless which I've never felt before like in those stupid chic flicks he makes me watch thinking I'll like them, oh and he's an amazing lover."

"Really?" she asked not able to hide her interest.

"He can go on and on I've never had a lover that could meet my … appetite" she smiled saucily," oh and he has this thing he does with his tongue..."

"Enough! I get the picture" Kate said annoyed that her mind went there, to the forbidden realm of Tony Dinozzo the X-rated peter pan.

"Oh Tony is right you are a prude! "Ziva said with an annoying smile.

"So you were in Tony's apartment this morning when the shooting happened?" Ziva simply nodded her playfulness gone and her face all business. "Can you go over what happened?"

"Well Tony and I were sleeping after our extensive lovemaking." Ziva said with a straight face.

"Yeah, yeah we get it "Kate interrupted sick of Ziva's games she truly was right for Tony, she already got right under her skin and she'd only just met the woman.

"We got woken up by someone entering the apartment and I held my gun at him. The intruder was Ari Haswari my half-brother."

"Wait! what!? Ari Haswari is your brother?"

"Yes, we have the same father and he's a Mossad spy undercover in Hamas or at least I thought he was, the old Ari would never shoot an innocent man especially not an American agent, the trouble he'd get in with the US government let alone with me!" Ziva said the threat simply and without emotion but Kate could see in her eyes that she meant it.

"So after you identified Ari what happened ?"

"I dropped my weapon and we started talking in Hebrew, he needed my help to make it out of the US after his mission but he did not say what the mission was and I didn't ask."

"Why not?"

"We are both Mossad officer's we understand the need for confidentiality."

"Then what?"

"I introduced Ari and Tony, Tony seemed flustered but I thought it was from being sleepy, sick and being caught naked in bed with your girlfriend by her brother who just broke into your apartment."

"Yeah that's pretty weird."

"But now I know It's because Tony recognized Ari so after the introductions were made Tony went into the bathroom with his phone Ari found it suspicious but Tony told him he'd play snake on the toilet, he actually called his boss which Ari found out when someone who must have been tracking Gibbs's phone called him to inform him about it and as soon as he came out of the toilet he held a gun at Tony demanding to know why he called Gibbs. Tony tried to charm his way out but Ari didn't buy it so he shot him but I managed to hit his arm making him miss Tony's vital organs and then Ari fled the scene. I held pressure on Tony's wounds and soon after Gibbs arrived with the ambulance not far behind."

"Have you tried reaching anyone in Mossad for the status of Ari's mission."

"I have tried but my father hasn't answered."

"Your father?"

"Deputy director David."

Kate whistled softly "Tony what have you gotten yourself into."

It was not long before they were joined by a distraught looking ducky who rushed towards them. "My dear what happened Jethro called me to come over apparently Anthony was rushed here."

Ducky seemed to be more surprised then fazed by the gun that met him and the beautiful Israeli owner that carried it.

"Ziva calm down this is doctor Donald mallard he works with us "Kate said before addressing ducky, "This is Mossad officer Ziva David Tony's overprotective girlfriend and sister to Ari who recently came to the state to help Tony recover from his bout with the plague."

"I am afraid Tony has not told me about you doctor mallard "Ziva said still eyeing him up suspiciously.

"Ah well, most people call me ducky you may do so as well my dear."

"The corps-talker with the endless stories, yes?"

"A dreadful term but yes I do hold conversations with the deceased in hopes they reveal the secrets of their demise and I do have many a tale to spin from my numerous travels. But enough about me how did our dear Anthony get into this mess."

Kate explained the rest of the story and how Tony got shot.

"What a tragedy first Geralt now Anthony, a most dastardly fellow that Ari, I'm sorry my dear "he said addressing Ziva, "but Jethro is going after him and is not intending to bring him anywhere but a slab on my table and I fully support him in that endeavour."

"I do not know what to think or feel about Ari anymore, he is my brother and I love him but what he did to Tony and the man I saw him as do not comply. "Ziva said sadly.

"You are not at fault for your brother's actions, and you shouldn't feel guilty, this situation was outside of your hands. Now if you will excuse me, I will inquire about Anthony's condition I have a few people who owe me a favour or two around here."

After a while ducky came back updating them on Tony's condition. "He's stable, he's lost a lot of blood but they are confident he'll make a full recovery although his recovery will be long and hard due to the weakened state his body was in prior to the shooting. They have removed the bullet from one wound the other was a through and through they are settling him into a room right now, they will call for us once he's ready, I have explained the situation and the risk Anthony still faces and have managed to let us visit him faster then usual."

"Thank you doctor "Ziva said gratefully a small smile gracing her lips now that she new Tony was going to be alright.

"Call me ducky and It is my pleasure dear, it is not my first time I had to deal with Tony being admitted to a hospital."

"Tony does tend to attract danger" Kate said.

"I believe Anthony tries to make his life mimic the bond films he enjoys so much: danger, fast cars and beautiful women, he only needs a faster car to achieve it now "ducky said with a kind smile towards Ziva.

Soon they where allowed to visit a sleeping Tony Dinozzo and Ziva had taken immediate position next to him eyeing the door scaring all the nurses and doctors who came by while ducky mediated with them and made sure they did not kick out the gun wielding Ziva .

So when Abby came franticly bursting into the room she was met with the barrel of a gun.

"Ah! Kate help!" she yelped.

"You should calm down my dear, Abigail here works with us she is our forensic scientist and a good friend to Anthony." Ducky said gently defusing the situation.

"Ah yes, the goth in the lab Tony told me about you, I am Ziva, sorry about that I would rather not take risks at the moment."

"So you point a gun at everyone who comes in the room?" Abby asked.

"Yes, it is necessary to protect my love," she said one hand on her gun the other rubbing the back of Tony's hand.

"So you're Tony's spy girlfriend everyone's talking about?"

"People have been talking about me? "she inquired.

"Well yes, don't people gossip in Mossad? Tony and I are actually the gossip king and queen at NCIS."

"Yes I guess an co-worker dating a foreign intelligence officer is news, and it does not surprise me that Tony gossips when he talks about work he makes it sound like one of your American shampoo opera's."

"Uhm I think you mean soap opera's "Kate said confused.

"Same difference" she said shrugging but her eyes got sad, "Tony would always correct my American idioms she said before leaning over and kissing his cheek."

"You really love him don't you? "Abby asked.

"Yes" she said voice small," I never got to tell him, Ari came to the apartment because of me, because of me Tony got shot."

"Hey don't worry we'll keep Tony safe and we'll find Ari before he does something bad. Gibbs will get him, I guarantee that." Kate said

"I ran the fingerprints found on a glass of wine in Tony's apartment and it confirmed Ari was indeed there, it should allow Gibbs to convince the rest of the alphabet soup that Ari is not on our side."

"Yes," Ziva said "it seems he has indeed fallen to Hamas, I do not know how or why but it seems Ari has betrayed his country, his agency and his family. My father will be furious that his prized agent has turned on him."

The use of the word agent instead of son was not lost on them but none of them commented on it.

"Any news from Mossad or your father?" Kate asked.

"I have left a message, I am sure they are frantically trying to figure out what is going and in as much disbelief as me as to what officer Haswari has become."

Another hour after Abby arrived Tony began to stir awake.

"Tony, ahuvi." Ziva said as she stroked his hair.

Tony looked at her through blurred eyes, "sweetcheeks?"

"I'm here ahuvi, you are safe do not worry."

"Did we get Ari?"

"He got away, he almost killed you. Next time he tries I will kill him."

"But he is your brother, "Tony said.

"Yes, but I will still kill him, he almost made me lose you Tony, I love you Tony I will not let him get to you again."

Tony's face lit up at her confession but soon pain wiped it away.

"You are in pain "Ziva stated.

"Kinda got shot Zeevah. "

"We'll give you some morphine," ducky said.

"We need to get your statement first, you know how you get on painkillers Tony "Kate said.

Tony took a deep breath before talking, "Sex Ziva good, Ari apartment bad, Ari brother Ziva confused, toilet suspicious snake, phone Gibbs, Ari gun pain, Ziva worried no like, now drugs."

"That seems to correspond with miss David's statement "Kate concluded used to Tony's antics "you can administer the pain medication now."

Ziva pressed the button to release morphine generously, "your hands always bring me pleasure " Tony joked and Ziva softly laughed.

Ziva began softly singing in Hebrew to Tony and combined with the drugs it seemed to lull him into sleep, "ani ohev otach" he muttered before falling asleep.

Ziva fought back tears as emotion caught up to her.

Seeing the conflict in her Abby decided to risk it and came towards the assassin and tentatively wrapped her arms around her. "Hey it's okay to feel sad and confused, this whole situation with your brother and Tony, it must take it toll."

"Yes, Tony always said I should be more open not that he is any better."

"What did it mean? what he said before falling asleep." Abby asked gently.

"He told me he loved me, he does not speak Hebrew so he must have looked up the phrase and how to pronounce it "Ziva said a smile on her face.

"That's so sweet "Abby said "Tony always acts like the charmer and womanizer but I always knew that deep down he's a romantic. "

"He is "Ziva said softly running her hand through his hair as he slept peacefully as a baby.

McGee joined them a while later. "How is he "

"He will be alright in time al tough his recovery will be long and difficult as his body as not yet healed fully from his dance with the plague but young Anthony is fighting it seems he has a lot to live for." ducky answered gesturing towards Ziva who still held Tony's hand next to his bedside.

"You must be agent Probie wan Kenobi," Ziva said addressing the newest arrival.

McGee groaned while Kate and Abby giggled.

"What's going on? I don't understand. "Ziva said.

"That's not his actual name just a nickname Tony has for him, he's actually called McGee or Tim or Timmy but only I call him that or timothy but only ducky calls him that." Abby explained.

"Any news on Ari?" Kate asked.

"We couldn't find him but Gibbs finally managed to convince homeland and the FBI that Ari's gone rogue, I also had to tell officer David that she has a conference call in MTAC with her father and that Gibbs wants to talk with her back at the Navy Yard."

"I need to be here, with Tony he needs me "Ziva said fiercely, grasping Tony's hand tighter.

"I'm just the messenger "Tim said feeling threatened.

"You should go Ziva, I'll stay here and keep Tony safe "Kate said, "the sooner Ari is dealt with the sooner this will all be over."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of 'A Plague, a Babe and a Bastard', It will probably only have one other chapter because this was just a fun what if idea and I don't really see the story going anywhere, if you have any ideas for an ending or something you'd like to see don't hesitate to post it in a review or pm me because I only have vague ideas and I don't want to just copy what happened in the show for the final Ari Ziva confrontation.

Also for those wondering this does not include the Eli orders Ziva to kill Ari retcon because I think it completely ruined her character since her deciding to save Gibbs and kill Ari was in my opinion the defining moment in her story.

I'm going to upload a new story or chapter each Friday: next week's will be 'A Team Leader's Fate' a fun little one shot followed by another Ziva returns one shot called 'too much luggage' the week after that the next and probably final chapter of this fic will be uploaded so in three weeks time. If I have it written by then of course.

-Kazot