Credits to Hiro Mashima (Fairy Tail) and Kazue Kato (Blue Exorcist).
One Year Later...
The entirety of Magnolia was suffocated by smoke, leaving the ground covered in black, incapable of growing anything. The few things that remained were the charred husks of a few trees, and some sort of trapdoor. Nothing remained within it.
In the center of this wasteland, Natsu sat, curled up, his face towards the ground as his back faced the sky. His forearms were covered in blood and scars. The dragon slayer was crying, as usual.
A small dove was brave enough to traverse the forgotten city, but upon landing on the dirt, demonic magic killed the creature, its cries desperate and pained. Natsu was used to this only slightly. He had to witness everything get destroyed in his rage, Etherious still present in his mind.
'Let me in.'
He was delirious, but not enough to give up, his emotions everywhere. Everything he was, everything he had, died. But he had to keep going, somehow.
Not like he had a choice.
Nine Years Later...
Traces of Hargeon began to burn off, sometimes from vivid red flames, sometimes from regular looking flames. The forest seemed to succumb to the demon that slaughtered it, and many wild animals had long since left.
In truth, the demon was really just a broken man. He had tried to just live life, ignoring his dark sides, and because of his loneliness, he often talked to himself. Easily becoming stir crazy, he ended up having arguments with himself, and they always ended in fighting, though it was more of him burning down the trees and kicking them down in anger.
Gradually, starting when winter had begun, the fire mage was now completely out of his mind, ranting and raving to no one, trying to morally support himself by keeping his own company.
Etherious often tried to manipulate him, but this usually ended with Natsu remembering his recent past and screaming.
He would often scream for hours, until the screams became mumbles, and he returned to his nonsensical self-conversations.
Ten Years Later...
Natsu couldn't take it anymore.
He was alone, and he started losing sleep, not eating, not grooming himself, not talking like he usually had. Sometimes he would ask himself what was wrong and he would scream in response to himself, and that would be the entire talk.
He began to fall further into madness, he would start seeing rocks as people, people that had been dead for twenty years or more, and he questioned it for a while. But eventually, his own company wasn't good enough.
A particularly spire-shaped rock seemed to remind him of Rin, and the salmonette reached out to it before he realized it was actually an illusion. His heart broke again and he used the rock as a way to cope.
"I miss you a lot, Ringring. I know you're out there, I know you're not dead, I just gotta look for ya.."
His cheek smushed further against the rock, a few tears staining it.
"You look really cute when you squeak. You're always cute. I wanna hug you a lot. I'll hug you for an entire hour if I see ya again."
His breath got shaky, and Natsu had to take a deep breath before tightly embracing the rock.
"Stay, please. Please please stay."
He started to sob, before the red flames began to surround him, and Etherious resurfaced. He went back to his rampage, slaughtering animals, feverishly burning everything in a velvet inferno.
Two Years Later...
Etherious was currently having a field day.
Ever since Natsu had shut down and started letting him take the reins, he got to have fun with his little playground, killing the people of Clover Town with vicious glee.
"Burn! Taste infernal scarlet flames!"
The people screamed in violent agony, a serenade to the demon's ears.
He loved this. He loved that it was his, all his, to feast upon and destroy. Everything would look just how it had in his mind, an endless horizon of fire and flames that threatened to burn the sky, until all the water, all the life left in every little crevice, was nothing but darkened ashes.
He loved it.
Eight Years Later...
"NO! GO BACK! GO BACK DOWN! I NEED TO FIND HIM! I NEED TO FIND HIM!"
Natsu was holding his head as if it would fall off his neck and break into little shards. Currently, Etherious was in a homicidal mood. Natsu was having none of it. He let that fly for two years, and he almost accepted it, until he remembered he had to look for Rin.
He was out there. He had to look for him.
"GO! GO BACK AND STAY THERE!"
His voice started to become more eloquent, and his expression became neutral.
"Oh you poor thing.. you really think he's still alive?"
Natsu's face immediately shifted into a pained and distraught expression. He started to press harder against his skull, his palms turning white from the pressure.
"HE IS! I JUST HAVE TO FIND HIM! GO AWAY!"
As if the argument was enough to satisfy the demon's needs, the dark presence faded, but lingered under the skin.
Natsu had to find him. He would find him. He was strong. They were strong. It was okay. They were okay. It was just a hard time for him, it wouldn't be awful forever. Not forever. Not forever. Not forever.
He would never surrender. Not until the end of time.
Five Years Later...
Natsu was busy that day on the anniversary of Satan's death slamming his head harshly against a giant boulder, a few stray bits of blood and brain matter flying.
Not that it mattered, since he was immortal. Every year started to melt together now, and he found to difficult to remember the days. Maybe it wasn't even the anniversary? He wasn't sure.
The one benefit of immortality was that he looked exactly the way he did on the day him and Laxus killed Azazel. Since he was pretty fit back then, he didn't have to worry about being physically incapable of anything he wanted to do.
It definitely made it harder to slam his head against a boulder.
'What are you doing now..?'
The demon seemed far too used to Natsu's broken mental state. Though it had been 35 years..
"I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm very bad, not good, bad.."
Natsu said this between his head slamming.
'Ugh.. it's a miracle you even have a brain to damage..'
Both of them knew that it would all vanish in minutes. And it would hurt like hell. In that, Azazel definitely had the last laugh.
Of course, neither would admit that, they both hated the arrogant defiler of spirits too much to realize his goal was successful.
As if the world was taunting him and his madness, Natsu heard him.
"Oh, how marvelous! Such despair! Truly, you were my greatest work.."
He didn't need to hear anymore to set the entirety of Hargeon on fire.
Natsu sat back down, his head returning to its slamming against the rock.
Five Years Later...
The dragon slayer was wandering Fiore, occasionally talking to rocks that now had completely turned into his late friends.
"Gray, you stupid idiot, stop holding my jacket! Lemme go!"
He wasn't actually wearing one, his abdomen had been impaled as he was making a mad dash to a river, and losing his footing, he made a nasty fall near the riverbank.
"I said lemme go, ya stripper!"
He grabbed the jagged point that went through him and pushed away from it, his insides recuperating and organizing themselves.
He punched the rock, the top crumbling off.
For some reason, his mind made it appear as though he killed Gray, and he went into a fit.
Natsu fell to his knees, crying.
"I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it! Please don't hate me! Don't leave me alone!"
The illusion he saw of Gray scowled at him.
"Why would I EVER like you, flame brain? I should've stayed with that dark guild instead of putting up with you. Hell, I should've let that statue kill you. I didn't deserve to die. You did."
The dragon slayer put his hands to his face, shaking violently.
"No! Please no! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
He stayed there for an entire day, wailing and muttering to himself.
One Year Later...
Zeref had been watching all this unfold, his heart switching from disappointment to despair.
His little brother was no better than him. His whole life had fallen to ruin, but unlike Zeref, he didn't have any way of bringing them back. Zeref at least had him.
He observed Natsu for a few weeks before deciding to approach early in the morning. Natsu was sleeping in a cave at that time.
"Little brother.. wake up."
He held the book in his hands, the one Etherious tried to erase. He had succeeded, but Zeref made certain to prevent any chances of his creation being free.
Because then Natsu wouldn't be able to survive.
The dragon slayer opened his eyes groggily before he witnessed his older brother hovering over him, the sunrise shining behind him.
"Go away, I'm sleepin' now..."
Zeref shook his head.
"No, you were crying all night. You're just taking a break from it."
Natsu pouted before batting at him with one of his hands.
"Go awayyyy.."
Zeref did not move. He showed him the book.
"You both have immortality, I assume? I'm planning to do a test. I know my little brother is strong, but I doubt my creation is."
Red eyes flashed and Natsu sat up, an expression of pure hatred on him.
"Just you try it. I will laugh when you die. I'll finally be free of you and your pathetic dominion over me."
The insults from Etherious didn't faze the dark wizard, and he instead offered the book to him.
The moment he burned it, Etherious set on fire, as did Zeref. Both screamed in agony, before they fell to the ground.
The book turned to ashes, as did Zeref. But Natsu did not.
He woke up not long after, confused.
"Eh..?"
Zeref was gone, but he also didn't sense Etherious.
He realized what that meant. His demon side was dead, and he was left to suffer without even that as his company.
Natsu put his hands to his head, screaming yet again.
"STOP IT! STOP MAKING ME BE ALONE! STOP!"
He curled up, his eyes going vacant as they did many times, tears flooding in a small pool next to him.
Six Years Later...
"Oi! I can sleep whenever I want, I ain't a kid!"
He was surrounded by rocks, facing one that had bits of fool's gold in it. He saw it as Lucy, and currently, she was complaining about how he hadn't slept in fourteen years.
"You worry so much, sheesh. I know you definitely haven't been taking care of yourself!"
Apparently, she had made an excuse before asking him to go wash his clothes.
"Sure thing, mom.."
He pouted immensely as he walked to a freshwater river.
As he took the only other pair of clothes he had besides the ones he was wearing from his small bag, he looked at the water.
'Do it.'
But he knew it wouldn't work. He tried so many times before.
'Try.'
He got up and located a nearby tree. He kicked it down so that it would go across the river, and after doing that, he swam next to it, the currents slamming his face, making it impossible to breathe.
He was probably there for hours, drowning but never dying. Eventually he gave up.
'Failure.'
He frowned slightly as he went to wash his clothes as he originally intended. After they dried out he put them on and went back to the rocks.
The rock who appeared as Lucy began complaining about how long he took.
"Hey, I was trying to drown! It's hard to regain consciousness when you're drowning!"
Lucy seemed to give him the silent treatment. Erza, who was beside her, a slightly taller rock, started demanding that Natsu never do it again.
"Okay.."
Three Years Later...
The trees that swallowed Earthland started rotting away, barely any normal trees or plants left. Most survivors were killed overtime, barely any left to stay together in large groups.
But whether it was a twisted fate or simply the wrong people in the right place, Crocus had been able to stay mostly alive. Unfortunately, Natsu didn't know where he was going, and he ended up near the borders of the Sanctuary they built.
A girl that looked like Erza, who was in truth the descendant of Flare, had wandered off to find food, and stumbled on the immortal dragon slayer that still looked to be 18.
"..are you from the group? I've never seen you before."
Natsu turned to look at her, confused how he made up an illusion of someone he didn't know.
"What group? You mean Lucy and Erza?"
She shook her head, even more confused.
"Nope, I mean the sanctuary. You're from there right?"
The salmonette tilted his head and furrowed his brows. This was not normal. Not normal at all.
"I don't know what you're talking about?"
She seemed completely in awe. This boy looked like he was completely healthy and fine, and they were scrounging for food?
"Uh.. where's your friends? Where'd you come from?"
He stared off at nothing.
"I dunno anymore."
That troubled her, and so she decided instead to take him in. The moment she did, he saw a familiar face.
Rogue?
He looked.. so old. Was that even Rogue? Was he dreaming after years of sleep deprivation?
"Maria, throw him out," the shadow dragon slayer declared openly.
"But he's healthy! He might have funny behavior, but—"
"Throw him out, Maria. He's not human."
She looked at Natsu, who remained disconnected, just looking at Rogue.
"You.. you don't look like him, but you do.."
Rogue ignored the fire mage and continued to shoo Maria away.
"Go. He needs to be left to the forest, he has changed."
Hearing this, Natsu panicked.
"No! I don't wanna be alone, please! Please don't!"
Maria kept trying to appeal to Rogue, but he would have none of it.
Sting had died because a wildfire Natsu set off years ago when he lost control. He was dangerous, and considering his age hadn't changed for so long, he didn't want to risk a demon being amongst them.
Tragically, the conflicting fear and panic Natsu had made him irrational.
"I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!"
His screams were drowned out by the others, the flames he had started to set quickly devouring everything, with nobody left alive.
As the ashes drifted in the air and the charred corpses cooled down, Natsu looked at his hands.
"I don't wanna be alone.."
Tears began to fall, a hollow feeling eating at him.
An illusion of Rin was behind him.
"Lizard-chan, snap out of it. You need to find me."
Delirious, he chased the hallucination, desperate to reach out and touch him, to know he was there, but it faded away, leaving him with his tears and loneliness.
He left the sanctuary he had consumed in fire, emptier than he'd been in almost nine years.
Twenty Years Later...
"Do ya think the Celestial Dragon is out there?"
The rock next to him, taking the form of Rogue, asked what he meant by that.
"I meant is there somebody who's watching over us, who's deciding to make me stay like this?"
Rogue mentioned Zeref and how Ankhseram probably cursed him as well.
"But I don't have it like he does.. did. I can't die at all. I can do whatever I want, like that weirdo from seventy years ago or whatever. I dunno what's wrong with me.."
Rogue didn't respond. He also couldn't, because in reality, he was a rock.
"Why do I have to exist?! Why am I here?! This isn't normal, this isn't right, everything points towards there being a reason behind it except for me! Why was it me?!"
Natsu turned around and punched a shriveled tree trunk.
"I just want to have you all back again.. I want you to be able to hold my hand and tell me it's going to be okay.. I want my old life back.."
But he knew he couldn't. It would stay this way, and upon seeing the horizon filled with dead trees and the struggling flora, he realized it.
None of it mattered. Rin was still out there. Rin was somewhere, and he needed to find him. But if he couldn't..
Then he was alone. Humanity was dying out. There wasn't much food left anymore. It wasn't just Fiore either. Bosco, Tenrou, Eisenwald, Alvarez.. dying, all dying. Unlike him, the survivors couldn't just wait it out, a week and a decade meant nothing to him, a day and a year seemed the same. The only difference was how many times the sun and moon shifted around you, that was all. But to them, it was everything.
Natsu missed that. The feeling that today was always the only thing that mattered. Every second was a gift, and you had to use it to enjoy life.
But now he hated it. He hated time and he hated every second he was aware. But he didn't remember how to sleep, or how to eat. His interest in fire was about all he had, and it rarely ever changed. Once you eat something enough times, you start to dislike the taste.
He sat up from his spot on the grass, his eyes focused on the stars. He understood why Lucy liked them so much.
"Lizard-chan, please. You need to find me. The world is here for you, but I still need you."
The dragon slayer snapped at the apparition, furious and hurt.
"And what if you're not there?! What if you're like the rest?! What if I can never find you?! You've said the same thing over and over, you always tease me about it! Well I don't like it! I don't like being alone and I don't like being pulled around!"
Rin seemed to frown, the expression almost showing empathy of some sort.
"I'm not doing that, you know I'm out there. I need you, Natsu. Even if we can never meet, I need you to try. Because if you never try, you'll never know."
Natsu's fingers dug into the soil beneath him.
"YOU DON'T EXIST! YOU'RE A LIE! YOU NEVER HAPPENED! YOU NEVER LOVED ME! I WAS NEVER LOVED! I WAS ALONE! I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN!"
The demon's tail curled, his eyes watered.
"Natsu, you can hate me all you want, but please don't forget me, please don't."
Natsu just held his head and sobbed, Rin fading away, leaving him in silence, his whimpers the only sound in the darkness beneath the stars.
Thirty Years Later...
It had been a century. One hundred years since the day he had killed Satan.
But Natsu couldn't recall it. He had started to forget the days from his childhood. Irony hit him as he realized he still looked 18. Convenient for him, but definitely not something he felt in his soul.
He should've died a long time ago. The day Azazel cursed him was the only thing he remembered clearly. In fact, that was the one memory he could remember with complete accuracy.
'...and you'll have to live with it.'
He had. The salmonette still hated him. It wasn't even despair anymore, just a cold and bitter hatred. He took things from him, what they were besides his mortality, he couldn't remember. All his friends melted into vague images, Lucy was just Luce now, her blonde hair and starry eyes the only thing that stood out. Rin had solid white eyes, his ears long, his tail longer. His appearance unsettled the salmonette. He looked dead, and Natsu couldn't remember why he wanted to cry and weep for hours when he stared into his vacant pearly eyes. He also couldn't remember anything except that he loved him, very very much. So much that it was still his goal to find him.
Erza had red hair, Laxus had yellow hair, Shoco had brown hair, the weird guy he didn't like had white hair, and Zeref wore funny robes.
That was it. That was all he remembered. He still felt bad about it, still felt pain, but he never kept a journal, and he never felt the need to have one. So all of them.. they were just memories. Dead memories that still made him feel something.
Maybe he was getting stupid. Maybe he was actually brain damaged. He didn't know. But he was sure it shouldn't have been so easy to forget.
A girl with white, short hair appeared beside him, smiling.
"It's okay, we'll always be here for you."
Natsu ignored her, her image burning away.
He probably repressed it. He remembered screaming and crying, but didn't know why. It was probably for the better.
A tear fell down his cheek, his hand catching it.
It was probably best to forget. He wouldn't have to worry about his emotions if he refused to remember people he didn't know.
.
.
.
So he did.
But at the end of the year, it all came rushing back, and in the middle of his personal hell, at the very center, where the last living person on Earthland remained, Natsu sat, curled up, his face towards the ground as his back faced the sky. His forearms were covered in blood and scars. The sky was blood red, and he began to cry, flames burning everything into a charred husk.
A voice that sounded like Etherious echoed in his mind.
'Let me in.'
He was delirious, but not enough to give up, his emotions everywhere. Everything he was, everything he had, died. But he had to keep going, somehow.
Not like he had a choice..
The cycle began again.