Lit just a drabble to get rid of the thought of like, my crippling need to focus 24/7 on an otp to ignore real life.
Also idk I just rly love the idea of manta and anna's rivalry in the context of the otp. Or like, not a rivalry but a power displacement that leaves manta wondering where he stands. Idk. I just enjoy it.
Warnings: spoilers? If u didn't read past the 3rd volume? Also maybe squick due to very light self harming behaviors
inspiration: "your type" carly rae jepsen
summary: Manta thought maybe he could gather up just the good parts and scatter them in the sky like stars, and focus only on those.
Aaaand there we go. Onwaaaards!
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Everything ached. Something had to be broken, Manta thought, dragging himself to his bed and letting himself topple over it. Somehow, that free movie had turned into something a lot more exhausting than he'd expected.
It had been wonderful though, while it lasted.
Seeing his friend's faces and sharing a passion, was something Manta had never gotten to do before. Yoh had been so awe struck as Lee Pailong stormed the enemy stronghold, spouting off one liners that he knew would be stuck in the boy's head for a while.
Closing his eyes, he tried to focus on the way his friend's expression looked in the flickering black and white of the old movie reels. Cheeks a bit red, mouth hanging open. A smile pulled at his face, in spite of the split in his lip.
It had been a brutal night. But if he tried, Manta thought maybe he could gather up just the good parts and scatter them in the sky like stars, and focus only on those.
If he tried, he could almost forget Anna was there, even. Like it was before, back when Yoh's attention was on him and the world was a wide open sky of possibility. A stab of guilt dug into his side.
I cant do that, he thought tiredly. That isn't reality. And Yoh was happy with Anna here. If she hadn't been there tonight, they'd both be dead, probably. Even if she was a thorn in the side of his time with Yoh.
Taking a long breath, Manta kicked off his shoes and began the process of climbing into bed. Yoh had done his best, cleaning and bandaging up the cuts and bruises Ryu had left, but he was a far cry from feeling better. Yoh was clumsy, fingers pressing against gashes and further spreading the splotchy purple spots on his skin without meaning to.
Manta brushed one of the bruises as he tugged his shirt off, biting his lip. The pain came in a burst of red behind his eyes and if he tried, he could almost feel those awkward hands as they brushed over him. Could almost smell the cheap butter from the popcorn on his friend's breath.
He crushed the thoughts.
It wasn't right to think these things, Manta admonished himself. He couldn't ruin something over these weird thoughts. It was probably just all the exhaustion piling up on top of him. Maybe the pain medicine Yoh had made him take might have been too strong.
The thoughts had come in waves over the last few months. Manta wasn't sure when they'd begun exactly, only that one day they were there when they hadn't been before. It had struck him one day in the cemetery, when Yoh had leaned against him as he cracked a joke, laughing harder at his own joke than someone ought to have. A flash of heat radiated from the spot his arm touched, the tips of his hair brushing Manta's cheek.
Overwhelming, like a tidal wave, was the need to feel that warmth every day, all the time. Manta didn't even remember the joke. But he sucked in a breath and forced it out in a weak laugh that Yoh hadn't seemed to notice the insincerity behind. It did the trick.
Manta hadn't known what to do, or what to feel. He didn't know now. But it had been simpler, when he thought that the world only contained the two of them. He could focus on the warmth that Yoh so freely offered, not thinking about the depths of which he'd fallen into it.
Then Anna had shown up.
Manta still didn't know how to feel about her. Very little love was lost between the two as they clashed, but more than that, she represented something that Manta hadn't realized Yoh was capable of. He had secrets. A life, that he hadn't wanted to share with Manta.
A life that, ultimately, would never include him in the way the boy was slowly starting to want him to.
Manta pressed against the bruise, hissing quietly. It brought him back down, the dim light from his bedside lamp sobering. Taking a long, shaking breath, he laid down in bed. He didn't bother with the comforter, only pulling on the thin sheets. Even those stung him, where they touched.
These thoughts were dangerous, he decided.
Even if he felt something, Yoh had someone already. He had a beautiful fiance that kept him on his toes and was pushing him closer to his true goal.
Assuming that these feelings didn't outright destroy what they already had, then he wasn't sure what to expect. A slowly crumbling friendship, shrouded in awkwardness? Polite smiles that forewarned the distance to come?
Or, worse, Yoh felt the same.
Manta swallowed hard and buried his face in his pillow. He liked to think he had solid morals. Strong world views on right and wrong. No matter how he looked at it, no matter how little he and Anna got along, he could never do something like that to her.
He squeezed his eyes shut until splotches of red danced behind his lids. Everything ached. He wasn't going to think about this. Yoh was his friend and it was stupid to even consider the idea that the taller boy thought of him as anything but that.
Lee Pailong. Popcorn and uncomfortable chairs. Yoh's thrilled noises of disbelief and Amidamaru's gasps of awe. Cheap butter, fingers dipping into gashes. Stars, the thought of happier tomorrows and thrilling adventures.
Manta focused on these. Gathered them up, held them close and swore these would be enough.
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bam. Spaghetti with loooots of oreganoooo.