A Friend's Love
WARNING!! If you do not enjoy slash, please do not read. This is intense stuff. Read if you enjoy slash and male pairings – don't complain to me if you read it and don't like it.
(Due to technology being crap, please ignore any sentences involving Thranduil – they should not be there)
Thank you.
Legolas sat on his bed, his eyes never moving away from the spot on the bed that he was looking at. All was silent and all was still, save for the occasional tear that rolled heavily down his perfectly-chiselled face. He sat on the edge of the bed in his silver-white Mirkwood garments and as his heart broke inside him, he silently wept alone.
It had been almost two weeks since he had finally returned home from the Fellowship quest. It had taken him many months to finally return home, as he walked, not rode. His plan was to return home for a while and proclaim the good news of Sauron's ultimate destruction to his country and then to bring some men with him to build up an Elven haven in Ithilien. When he returned, his friends, his men and the citizens of Mirkwood were delighted to see him, but a sad secret lay hidden in their faces that Legolas did not fully understand. He saw the devastation that had been brought to Mirkwood and he saw that his palace, his home, almost lay in ruins. They celebrated as Legolas exclaimed the good news to the people of Mirkwood, but soon afterwards, his dearest friend had pulled Legolas into a corner and told him the terrible truth.
Legolas's wife, Anié Celebrindal, was one of the most delicate and beautiful young women the Elves of Mirkwood had ever seen. Legolas had loved her for many centuries before he left to attend the Council of Elrond in Rivendell. They had married a few years before he had left and they had had no children, although they had made passionate romantic love to each other on many occasions. While Legolas was gone, during a terrible attack on the palace, many hundreds were killed. Anié had been brutally slaughtered – she had killed many invaders and saved as many people's lives as she could, as she was an excellent fighter, but she soon became over-run and could not defeat them, she was too badly injured. Thranduil told Legolas that she suffered little and the death came swiftly, but he knew that her wounds were so severe, it would have been impossible for her to feel no pain. She would have bled to death before the injury could kill her. Even so, to say Legolas was devastated would be a severe underestimation and Legolas could not cope. He wept openly in his room for many days and he still did now. He did not eat, he did not see any of his men or his old friends, he didn't go to see anyone – no-one had come to see him, for he wished to be alone. He had loved her so dearly and for so long and he couldn't even say goodbye …
Another heavy tear built up in Legolas' eye and though he shut his eyes in an attempt to destroy it, it still fell off Legolas' face and onto his hand. At the thought of his dear wife now lying cold and dead in the ground made his heart throb and crack – it felt like a stone weighing down his heart, his soul, his very life. During his absence, his father had left to the Grey Havens, leaving him as King, a duty his father knew and believed Legolas would fulfil well. But now, Legolas' life felt empty and not worth living.
Just at that moment, there was a knock at the door. Legolas lifted his head slowly, as if the weight of the world lay upon it. He saw his friend, Ainion, step in and quietly yet securely shut the door behind him. He felt his friend's gaze upon him and his head lowered once again, his eyes falling to the spot on the bed again.
Ainion had been Legolas' friend since they were born. He had always stood at the Prince's side, despite the fact that he was nowhere near Legolas' status. Even now that Legolas was King, his opinion of Legolas had not changed – they were still firm friends. But seeing Legolas like this broke Ainion's heart and he could simply stand back and watch his friend suffer.
Ainion was never known for dealing out sympathy and compassion – he was a little like Thranduil, but more light-hearted and less hard. He was often strict to his men, but he was a kind and gentle man also. They had fought many gruelling battles together and after seeing his immense power and strength, Legolas had promoted him to be head of one of the large scouting parties and Ainion had to be stern to keep order and to obtain dominance while he issued orders and regulations. Ainion's heart bled that Legolas was suffering so, and so unnecessarily – this sort of tragedy should have been avoided.
He spoke Legolas' name softly. He slowly lifted his head to look at Ainion. He looked into the huge, round, blue, watery eyes of his royal friend and almost cried himself. He walked over to him and sat down beside him.
"How are you feeling?" asked Ainion quietly in his deep yet melodic masculine voice.
Legolas did not reply, but simply lowered his eyes to the floor and tried to stem the flow of tears that continued to build up in his eyes, sighing quietly to himself. Ainion understood Legolas' silence.
"Legolas" began Ainion, "I know you're in pain. I know the grief you feel now is almost unbearable. I know that … for I am the only man here who can say truthfully that I know how you feel".
Legolas looked up sideways at his friend and their round eyes met. Legolas' eyes were full of unquenchable grief and longing for his wife to return, but when he looked into his friend's eyes, there was something different about them – there was no grief or pity in those eyes, but a look of understanding that fitted the strange smile that had appeared on his friend's face. Once again, his soul began to burn and crumble away inside of him.
Legolas' eyes fell down to his knees again and he looked as if he may weep again. Ainion cocked his head to one side and knew Legolas needed his comfort. Gently with his fingertips, he brushed back Legolas' hair that had fallen down the side of his face and placed it back behind his ear, which he gently stroked as he did so. Legolas felt his friend's gentle fingertips on his sensitive ear and enjoyed the sensation – he could feel Ainion present, with him, and that comforted him.
"After her death" Ainion began, referring to his own lover's death many, many years ago, "I thought my life was over. I had no-one with me anymore – everything I ever had and loved was gone. I had you (he said, so that Legolas would not feel as if he was not wanted), but … I had no-one who could help. I was completely alone".
"But …" he paused slightly, "you are not completely alone, are you?"
Legolas looked up at Ainion with a bemused look on his face. Ainion's hand had moved down to Legolas' arm which he gripped gently and he sighed silently to himself, as he knew Legolas did not understand what he meant.
"I had no-one who could comfort me, but you do, mellon nîn. You have me, because I understand how you feel, more than anyone else".
He paused briefly.
"I love you more than anyone else, and all I want to do is help".
Legolas was touched by these words, as he knew that his friend loved him dearly (as a friend, of course), but when Ainion leaned forward a little and began to caress Legolas' ear with his teeth, he began to feel a little confused.
"Ainion?" Legolas quietly asked, showing his bewilderment and uncomfortable emotions quite clearly.
"Shh…" replied Ainion, whose eyes were now shut. He placed his long, warm hand on the side of Legolas's face and pulled it gently towards his own. Legolas' eyes widened in alarm as he felt his lips meet Ainion's. He attempted to pull away at first, but Ainion held his face tighter (without hurting him, of course) and Legolas felt compelled to stay where he was, even though he didn't feel like he really wanted to be here. Ainion's mouth widened as the kiss deepened in compassion and Legolas could not help but shut his eyes and kiss gently back. He did not understand what was happening or why he was doing this, but there was nothing he could do – his warrior friend was too strong.
Then Ainion began to make his move: he held Legolas' face with both of his hands and began to push Legolas down underneath him onto the bed. Legolas knew where this was going (although why his friend would want this of him, Legolas had no idea) and managed to pull away from Ainion and move about a foot away from him.
"Ainion …" said Legolas hurriedly, still sitting on the side of the bed. He could not finish his sentence as he did not know what else to say – he did not want his father to leave, for he did not wish to seem ungrateful, and yet this did not feel right. Ainion was slightly surprised by Legolas's sudden movement away from him, but inside his heart, he understood. He smiled a small smile – not of happiness, but of recognition.
"Alright" he said, understanding his friend perfectly and yet secretly, slightly disappointed that his ideas had not worked out as planned. He wondered to himself whether it had been a good idea or not to finally express himself after all these long years at that moment.
"If this is not what you want, I will not force you".
He stood up to leave.
"If you need me for anything, or anyone, do not hesitate to ask" Ainion said gently.
He silently walked away, shutting the door carefully behind him. Legolas lay on his bed, silent, eyes wide open, thinking over Ainion's actions. He could not help but ask the question: what did he truly want?
What do Legolas and Ainion truly desire in their hearts?
Find out in the next chapter.