ONI TO SAKURA
ghosts and cherry blossoms [ part 1 ]
hidoko matsumoto/xz0ner
Apr 2004

Killua stepped into the empty ballroom, dressed in a suit.
Kiru~ Come here! You look so good in this~ Ah, my dear Kiru! Maybe you'd like to try on the green suit, too? It does match the colour of your eyes~
Killua shook his head, That would be too promiscuous.
You look good, Kiru. Illumi patted him on the shoulder, Aa, though, you'd look more presentable with a bow-tie.
... Killua stared into Illumi's vacant expression, looked away, and walked off.
Behind him, his beautiful mother's voice echoed, My dear Kiru~ My, how he has grown!

The diminishing sunlight dragged the shadows of everything on earth till everything was shrouded by a dark demeanour.
Beneath the canopy of those trees, where the dwindling traces of sunlight still remained, two boys were walking.
The silhouette of the silver-haired boy reflected in Gon's view. A familiar shape that he had come to know and love the fluff of his hair, shoulders that were broader than his own, and greyish teal eyes that always shone with an elusive sadness.
"...Let us go, Gon."
"Where would you like to go next?"
"Anywhere but here."
"Un!"
Killua shifted, so that his shadow stopped shielding Gon's smaller figure, and light poured onto Gon's face. Those brown eyes seemed even more gentle and radiant, and Killua lowered his head, walking forward.
Thoughts raced in his mind, short little phrases. They seldom bothered him; he always had a clear train of thoughts.
- Why did you think they came here for?
- Because they're your friends...
But Killua refused to look at Gon in the eye. He wasn't sure where this jumble of thoughts were leading to...
They walked, without looking back.
And walked, as the darkness drowned their shadows.

Sometimes awaking in the night seemed to lead him from one nightmare to another. As a child, his sleep had always been peaceful, and there was no doubt that the darkness would never disturb him this darkness was what he dwelled in, like an animal's den.
The dark corridors were his home; he felt rested. And vaguely awake.
How many years had it been since he had left Gon...?
That smile haunted him.
He pressed himself against the wall, thinking of the boy whom he had deemed his best friend in his younger days. There was a strange jolt in his heart, as if a current of electricity had passed through.
Tears welled up in his eyes, and overflowed, but he was too stunned to move.
It was dark; nobody could see his tears.
The door in front of him opened, to his shock. In a haste, he hurriedly stepped back, reconditioning himself to go back to the normal mode of defense – who can it be? Illumi? Miruki?
To his relief, it was neither.
"Kiru!" The nightdress of his mother flowed as a gust of stale wind blew in.
"Mother...?"
"Kiru! You're awake at this hour... My dear boy, what are you doing now? Did your father send you on a mission? I don't think there is any, is there...? Dear! He should have told me..."
"Mother," He cut in, "I'm merely going for a walk."
"A walk? But shouldn't you be sleeping? You ought to be rested for the mission tomorrow, Kiru!"
"Aa." He shrugged, and walked past her.
"Kiru!"
"Un?" He uttered, without turning back towards her.
"Take this, Kiru~ It's for you. I told Karuto to bring this talisman back, since she was out on a mission in an area with the protected tribes and well it's to ward away evil. I got one for myself, and I know you like skulls, don't you, Kiru? It's a good charm, wards away evil, Kiru." She dangled it in front of him.
"..." He stopped, and took the talisman from his mother. It was a skull carved out of wood, adorned by wooden beads and threads. It glowed with a slightly dark energy.
"Kiru! Have a good sleep!" She ushered after him, as he walked out of the corridor.
Ward away evil? He clasped it tightly in his fist, the carved rosewood's vacant stare seemingly beckoning to him. It feels like a curse has been bestowed unto me...
He found a longer piece of string and strung the talisman around it, tying it tightly around his neck. Its energy felt like an oddly unsettling chasm, yet at the same time, comfortable. He rationalised that it must have been because he was, in fact, constituted of the same kind of shadow that enshrouded this talisman.
In fact, it felt so much like home...
Now that he wasn't troubled, he could feel Illumi's aura from where he resided.
Looks like I'll be expecting my brother anytime soon... He thought, closing his eyes. ...He's been somewhat restless as of late. But since there's no change in Miruki's aura, I guess Illumi will be coming here alone.
He knew what Illumi's intentions were.
Though his adventures with Gon had trained him to be stronger than Illumi, it seemed to him that he could never break the bond that held him back.
Though thoughts of killing Illumi had always occurred to him, thoughts of seeing blood gushing from Illumi's mouth at the most intense moment
The door opened, and Illumi's still voice sounded, "Kiru."
It closed behind the tall figure.
Killua's breath nearly stopped. He stiffened, nearly unable to move, not from Illumi's aura, but from the onslaught of memories.
Memories that shackled him to the dark maze of corridors and rooms in the mansion.

It was dark, and he had only been three years old.
"You were chosen to be the successor... Isn't it because of your silver hair and green eyes? That's all you're good for! Unlike me, I'm a genius at invention and what have you done for the family?"
"But..."
"Don't think that just because you're favoured by Dad and Grandpa, you can be so obnoxious!"
The whip cracked against his skin.
During the days when the heads of the household were on a mission, Killua always suffered from the harsh punishments that Miruki had in store for him, in the name of training him.
"Aa!" His tender skin was ruptured by the first crack of the whip.
Eventually, there was a time when Miruki's words no longer stung him. Illumi and his mother took rather good care of him, and there was even a time when the beauty of Illumi's dark hair charmed him.
"Why aren't you the least bit humiliated?!" Miruki threw the whip upon the ground in frustration.
Killua simply looked up with a playful smile, "Aa, are you tired already? Does that mean I can go out and play?"
"....KILLUA!!!"
Crackle...

The cigarette burn against his skin was only the prelude.

If, at that time, Grandfather hadn't come in, Miruki would have done the same thing as he did back then. And Killua would have killed Miruki if he dared to do anything to Gon...
He would have died if Miruki told Gon about what had happened.
About what a cheap toy Killua really was all his life, instead of the prized descendant of the assassin family...

Illumi stood at the doorway, the faint light from the balcony casting long rays across the room. Killua sat there wordlessly, without looking at Illumi.
Illumi's eyes were glazed over.
Sometimes, Killua thought that their eyes resembled each other's in shape; it was only the colours that differed -
The tall, dark-haired man lifted Killua's chin with his strong fingers, kissing Killua gently on the lips. Their auras blazed together in harmony, even as Killua wrestled gently against Illumi's grasp.
- Da... Dame...
- Kawaii naa, Kiru.
Killua writhed and fought against Illumi's advances, scratching him in an anguished ordeal. Illumi advanced without hesitance, and gradually, Killua was reduced to inaction, taking in all the pleasure that Illumi gave him.
As if re-enacting a role that had existed since their souls were formed, Illumi pinned Killua down as the youth attempted to struggle free.
In truth, Killua could have killed Illumi if he'd wanted, now that he was stronger.
"Nnn..." Killua's breaths accelerated, as he writhed in silent ecstasy under Illumi's tongue. His pale skin was slowly being tinted pink by the rush of blood, as his struggles ceased and he thrust his hips against Illumi's chest, his desire building up with the proximity of their bodies.
Illumi put his hands in front of Killua. Understanding what he was about to do, Killua licked Illumi's fingers. When he was ready, Illumi lifted one of Killua's legs. Killua kicked him as the final protest, but Illumi held him down firmly and gently reached inside of Killua with his finger.
Killua moaned, allowing Illumi to manipulate him like a puppet, in total obedience.
"Nnnn.. Aa...!"
Killua glanced down, watching as Illumi pressed his hips against his own, whilst Killua's body accepted Illumi's shaft easily.
"What a cute mouth." Illumi said, looking down at his brother with an expressionless face.
It was the same mouth that had serviced him throughout these years. The first taste had been fresh, like a promising bud with a future that one could barely imagine. That first taste, when Killua was merely three years old...
Illumi leaned forward and gave Killua a deep kiss.
A... Aniki... A thin thread of saliva slid down Killua's chin once Illumi let his tongue free.
"So cute..." Illumi uttered, accelerating the momentum with which his hips thrust, whilst his hands teased Killua's erection, bringing him nearer to the peak of insanity.
"Aa... Ah......."
"Kiru..."
"Aaaaahhh...!"
Killua's last gasp rang in the air as his hips buckled against Illumi's grasp, whilst Illumi's warm fluid filled him to the brim.
Both of them lay entwined for a few seconds, in exhaustion. Killua wrapped his arms around Illumi's back, his fingers grasping Illumi's long, dark hair tightly, curled up and as vulnerable as a foetus.
Illumi did not move, since Killua's strength was, for the first time, overpowering him. He lay there for as long as Killua held him, staring at Killua blankly, not understanding why... Why tears rolled down his brother's cheeks, and why he trembled so in such fitful sobs.
When Killua had fallen asleep, Illumi emerged from Killua's embrace, dressed, and walked out of the room.
Illumi had no emotions.
All he knew was desire.
Killua had always accepted this with barely a word.