So this is the product of the kind of painful insecurity that comes from a relationship with someone who is in another relationship. I imagine this to be in Mello's point of view, with Matt having come to visit him from school, where he's with someone else, I don't care to imagine who, so... on with the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
And I stop. I stop to take in this exact moment of comfort, your hand stroking my hair while I lazily rub my thumb back and forth over the soft skin of your belly.
I stop because I know that we will be unable to remain this way, the only sound our soft breathing which has come to match, and all that I can see is a faint outline of your face, a soft blue glow from the screen of the computer.
I stop because I get so few of these moments with you while I'm sure he gets many.
This intimacy is mine for but the few days you've put aside for me.
I try to take comfort in that; the fact that you thought of me enough to save some time.
You shift, turning away, taking your hand from my hair and I bite back the whimper of hurt.
I'm pathetic.
You're simply tired, you need sleep.
I repeat it in my head, trying to believe it, trying not to feel rejected.
I stare at what little I can see of you, a silhouette in the dark, and try to sleep.
I drift off, dreamless and content.
I never sleep well when you leave, I toss and turn in search of a warmth that's far away.
So when I wake to find you still facing away I resist the urge to wrap my arm around your waist and pull you in, to tell you how I love you.
Instead I simply nudge closer and I stop to take in this exact moment.
Because soon you'll leave me again, and this is better than nothing.
Isn't it?