This is my FIRST FanFic, so please be gentle! I've been watching "How I Met Your Mother" for the past few months, and I absolutely adore Robin/Barney - hence a story. NOTE that many of the scenes in this Fic incorporates scenes from the episodes, "Something Blue," "Sandcastles in the Sand," "Right Place, Right Time," and "Miracles," that I have modified to fit this story-line. Note that in this version, Robin and Ted had only been together for a month (as opposed to a year), but live together as they do much later in the series.
I OWN NOTHING, DON'T SUE ME, ETC.
Enjoy... I'd really love some R/R action, please!
It all started at Lily and Marshall's wedding, reception. To be more accurate, it actually all started with a bottle of water. And then came, well, the flood. Grab a life raft, Ladies and Gentlemen. You'll need it.
Robin and Ted sat alone at one of the tables, laughing it up, and enjoying a beer or two… except it didn't go quite like that. What Barney noticed wasn't the subject of their conversation, or how wonderfully low-cut Robin's dress was (okay, maybe he noticed a little), but it was what they were drinking. Ted: Alcohol. Marshall: Alcohol. Lily: Alcohol. Everybody at the entire freaking reception: Alcohol. Robin: … Water? Was Robin, the scotch loving Canadian gal drinking water at a party?
This wasn't happening.
She couldn't be.
Of course not, that's ridiculous.
Nope! No way at all. Everything is fine.
...
Oh my god.
...
"Okay, everyone, time to cut the cake!" A slightly drunk Lily called out with a giggle.
Barney knew she was talking, but his brainpower was concentrated elsewhere. He turned back to Robin, a look of absolute horror on his face. "Robin, you're not…?" He looked down at her stomach with fear in his eyes. Perfectly taught. Nothing to see… yet.
Either she wasn't listening, or she was ignoring the question. She and Ted stood as a crowd gathered around Lily, Marshall, and the wedding cake.
"Say the story's not over," he pleaded. "Say the story's not over!"
Robin shook Barney's shoulder, telling him, "Come on! You'll miss it!" As soon as he stood up, her attention returned to the festivities, but Barney could think of nothing but what he had just found out about.
"Oh god," he said, "this is the 12th most worried I've ever been that someone's pregnant!"
Robin heard him, but she just rolled her eyes. Minutes later, Lily and Marshall left the reception for their honeymoon. Barney was proud of Lily and Marshall - mostly because he doubted he'd ever seen Lily that drunk before. It was hilarious. For a moment there, he was almost completely distracted from the problem at hand. When that moment passed, he felt hist as shitty and stunned as he had moments ago. From there, the rest of the celebrations were kind of a blur. About halfway through, he spotted Ted and Robin standing around and talking by the dance floor. He had an urge to walk over to them, they caught him staring and quickly shut up. Probably baby talk, he thought bitterly. As the night drew to an end, he decided he needed some air and stepped out to the back porch, scotch in hand. Robin and Ted walked over to him, but he didn't really notice until Ted said his name.
"Barney?" Barney turned around to face them. "How're you doing, buddy?"
Barney thought for a minute. He wasn't quite ready to answer that question. So, much like Robin did earlier, he avoided it. "You know, Ted, you're gonna miss out on a lot of awesome things. You'll be at home with the kid, while I'm out awesoming. All over the place." He said, in the most convinced and superior voice he could muster – mostly to conceal the hurt he felt.
Still, he wasn't quite done. He turned to Robin, adding, "And you're going to get fat."
She scowled at him, but then Ted said five words that changed everything: "Barney... the story's not over."
At those words, Ted and Robin launched into the true story about the two of them talking, and eventually deciding to return the Blue French Horn, and finally signifying that their relationship had ended.
Barney was pretty sure he got it, but he just needed to be sure. "So... you guys did break up."
Ted responded, "Yep."
He turned to Robin. "You're not pregnant."
She shook her head. "Nope."
"And Lily and Marshall don't know? ... Wow..."
It wasn't what Barney had imagined. He thought that the news that none of this horrible, life-changing stuff wasn't actually happening would make him delighted, but he mostly felt sad for the two of them - they had been really, really good together.
Two weeks after the wedding, Robin lay on Ted's couch, with a bowl by her head in case she puked again, and a face that had turned a sickly shade of green. The current thought that ran through her mind was what jerk decided to call her affliction "morning sickness," considering it was one in the afternoon and she felt just as crappy as she had hours ago.
She lay there in a haze, and thought she heard someone say her name. "Robin..." It sounded strangely distant, faint, and she was sure she was dreaming. Either that, or she was just hallucinating. Wait, was hallucinating even a symptom during pregnancy? If so, why on Earth did no one tell me this? A moment later, she heard her name again, but the voice saying it was more pronounced, sharper, and definitely real. "Robin." She snapped out of it to see Ted standing over her with a glass of water in his hand, and a sympathetic expression on his face.
"You feeling any better?"
She sat up slowly, taking the glass from his hand and groggily replying, "not really."
Ted took a seat in a chair next to her. "Drink up. I thought you'd like something that wouldn't make you barf."
Robin rolled her eyes, but remembered that Ted was trying. And for an ex-boyfriend roommate, he wasn't half bad. She managed to smile, replying, "thanks a lot."
"No problemo. Anything else I can get you?"
She shook her head. "Nah, I'm good. Lots and lots of beer is sort of off the menu, anyway."
They sat in silence while she polished off the rest of the water, and then the doorbell rang. "I got it," Ted told her, as he stood and jogged over to the door. "Come in," he called, and opened the door to find Barney. "Hey, dude. What's going on?"
"Laser tag!" Barney responded enthusiastically, walking over the threshold. "I realized that we haven't had a match in a while, you know, just us Bros. And trust me, Ted, I have a strategy so that you and I, as best friends-"
Ted tried to add, "Marshall's my best fr-", but Barney ignored him and continued.
"-Are guaranteed to get on the high scores list for the rest of eternity! A strategy so diabolically mind-blowing tha-"
Ted cut in - he knew Barney pretty well. "Is it cheating?"
Barney complained, "Te-ed! I was building up to it! Also, yes, it's cheating. I found this tape that can cover the laser tag vest, so it doesn't register when you get shot. And I also have these tampered laser guns that don't run out of ammo. What in the world is up!" He smiled triumphantly, holding up his hand, which Ted obligingly high-fived. "So, we on for Saturday?"
Ted shrugged. "I don't have any plans, so Saturday it... is..." He trailed off when Barney ambled in the living room.
Barney saw Robin lying on the couch, her face a pale shade of green. All at once, fears from the wedding reception two weeks ago resurfaced, although he tried like mad to suppress any and all thoughts. He walked over to her, stating, "wow, Robin, you look like crap."
She gave him an icy look, and when he noticed the bowl by her head, he jokingly asked, "Why are you throwing up, are you pregnant?"
Robin was too sick, angry, and fed-up to argue. Resigned, she told him. "Yes, Barney. I'm pregnant."
His smile turned serious in a split second, as a look of pure horror fell over his face. Without another word, he bolted from the room.
Barney sat at McLaren's bar with a large glass of beer in front of him. Need… more… alcohol…
He still couldn't believe it. He received the news back at the wedding, but he thought everything was cleared up! The two were no longer a couple, and she wasn't pregnant, life was normal again... not. She'd lied to him. Everything was exactly as he'd feared.
What was Robin going to do? What about her and Ted? If they really had broken up, she'd be sort of on her own. Part of Barney actually wished the baby was his, even though it was in no way possible. But if that were true, Robin wouldn't be alone, right? She didn't even want kids, and she seemed to really love her job. She wasn't going too give that all up… was she?
Two tall and skinny brunettes walked over to the bar to order drinks, making Barney brake away from his serious life-thoughts. They were hot and soon-to-be-drunk. Nothing sounded better. No - he couldn't! What about Ted? And Robin? Ugh. He felt sort of guilty for bailing on her like that, especially because she looked pretty freaked. Ted seemed pretty cool with him running off, but Lily would probably kill him with her bare hands if she ever found out that he had ditched Robin and Ted, and never came back to 'talk things out' or share his 'feelings' or whatever.
Several hours after Robin had admitted the truth, Barney returned to the apartment to talk with the two of them.
Barney walked yet again through Ted's doorway and into the apartment. He entered the living room area to find Robin sitting on the couch and watching TV - looking considerably less green, Barney noted - and Ted was nowhere to be found.
He took a deep breath, and took a seat beside Robin. "Hey. Ted around here?"
She looked over at Barney. "Yeah, he just went to the bagel place. He'll be back any time." She paused for a moment, but decided to continue. "So, I'm guessing you didn't just come by here because you wanted to hang with the pregnant girl. I know you, Barney. What gives?"
He avoided her question, thinking aloud: "the thing is, I always knew I could never keep Ted from martyring any remnant of awesomeness from his life for something as idiotic and youth ravaging as a baby. I guess I never pictured you as joining the club so soon."
Robin thought for a minute. "To be honest, I didn't imagine myself as the kind of person who'd have kids either. Now that it's actually happening, I'm not totally sure what I want."
That last sentence actually surprised Barney quite a bit. Although he wouldn't really admit it to himself – much less to anyone else – he was quite fond of babies. Robin on the other hand, had always seemed to be against having kids… and now she was considering it? "What're you gonna do about it?" He asked. "I mean... you have your job, and you and Ted did break up, didn't you?"
She nodded. "Mm-hm. We meant everything we said at Lily and Marshall's wedding. Except for the baby part."
"Why did you lie, then?"
She thought carefully, wondering how best to explain why she and Ted decided to back out. "Back at the wedding reception, just after Marshall and Lily left for their honeymoon, Ted and I had a talk..."
~*~ flashback ~*~
Ted walked over to the buffet and grab more food, but he felt a hand on his arm, turning around to see Robin with a worn out, almost worried expression on her face.
She took a big breath before speaking. "Ted? ...I don't think I can do this."
He looked at her blankly, puzzled. "Do what?"
She gestured around her. "This. Telling people about the baby. Especially Barney, I mean, you saw him. He thought he was going to lose you as a friend because you were starting a family."
Ted still didn't quite get it. "So... you're saying that if we tell Barney that you're not pregnant, life will magically sort itself out?"
Robin thought for a minute. "Look, we already need to tell him that we're not together any more, so why don't we also say I'm not pregnant? 'The story's not over.' It'll be easy as that."
Ted thought he saw Barney, and squinted to see Barney non-too-conspicuously looking at them. "Wait, shut up. Barney's looking." The two stood there in silence until Barney walked out to the back porch. Ted was getting frustrated, and continued. "Robin, you're not thinking. People will notice something soon enough, and when you get all inflate-y, you won't be able to lie any more."
"I. Know." Robin said through gritted teeth. "I know. I won't let it come to that, I promise, but I need more time to sort through this, I'm not ready yet. Give me like... a few weeks. Come on, Ted."
Ted sighed. Maybe it wasn't the most rational decision ever made my Robin Scherbatsky. But, they were close friends. Exes, yes, but friends nonetheless. He smiled. "You know what? It's fine. Barney went outside, we can tell him now."
~*~ end flashback ~*~
That was it, Barney thought. Robin was just scared. Scared about her own future, scared about her friendship with him, scared about his relationship with Ted. Man, women can really multitask. But, this situation left one big, important, heaping question unanswered. If they had broken up, and been broken up for quite some time now, it would be very likely that...
"The kid isn't Ted's... right? You guys have been dating for what, a month, and considering what a wuss Ted is, I'd be surprised if he knocked anyone up so early in th-"
She cut him off. "No, it's not. I'm not totally sure whose it is, actually." Her voice cracked and she looked back at the floor. She couldn't believe she was worried about Barney Stinson thinking anything she did was skanky. Was that weird, or what?
"Wow." Barney was kind of shocked. Robin's baby could belong to, like… any random dude. "Are you okay?"
She shrugged. "I guess. Considering everything that's happened, Ted's been pretty great. I suppose it could be worse, huh?"
Ted walked into the room, back from the bagel errand. "What could be worse?"
Barney grinned, honestly replying, "You and Robin living together even though you're exes and she's having someone else's kid, but doesn't even know who knocked her up, just that it wasn't you."
Ted laughed to himself. "Oh, that. Call me an optimist, but I can see plenty of ways this situation could be a whole lot worse."
Robin raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Yeah? How?"
"If..." Ted opened a paper bag full of fresh bagels. "If, for example, the bagel place was all out of Cinnamon. But thankfully, they weren't. You guys hungry for a 3:00 snack?"
Robin called, "oh, dibs on Cinnamon!" and hopped off the couch. Barney followed, amused by her sudden appetite.
The three sat down at Ted's kitchenette. Ted carefully inspected the bagel selection. "Rosemary olive, score! Guys, this is seriously the best bagel ever. The light and delicate texture… lovely smell… fresh herbs..." He grabbed the butter from the fridge, and began to butter his bagel.
Barney and Robin exchanged a glance that quickly turned into a snicker. Ted is such a girl, Robin thought.
Ted looked up from his plate. "What?"
Robin suppressed giggles, explaining, "Sorry, Ted, but... Rosemary Olive? Really?"
Barney added in mock sincerity, "You know, I think I banged a hippie named Rosemary Olive once."
The phone rang once, but it didn't get picked up. Robin was growing more and more nervous. Should she hang up? Looking for consolation from the guy who's never spent more than 14 consecutive hours in a "relationship" didn't seem like the most... secure... of ideas. But Lily and Marshall were both at work, and Ted had some architect meeting. The phone rang for a second time. Still, nothing. On the third time, the miraculous third time, Barney picked up.
"Go for Barney."
She sucked in her breath. Here we go. "Barney…? It's Robin. Look, I wouldn't bother you at work if it wasn't something important, but it is. About Mark."
"Look, as much as I'd love to have a chat about your new boyfriend, I'm at an important meeting right now."
Barney readied to close the phone, but Robin sensed that he was about to hang up. "No, wait!" She felt her voice crack, but continued, "Sorry, I know relationships aren't your… thing, but I didn't know anyone else to call. Ted's phone is off."
Was she crying? Was Robin Scherbatsky crying?
"I'm at McLaren's pub-"
Click.
Click? Did Barney just hang up on her? Well, it wasn't too big of a surprise; she was dealing with Barney, after all.
Robin had actually misinterpreted what went on at the other end of the line when Barney hung up on her. The fact that she was crying sent him into an instant panic. Barney stood from his desk to tell his coworkers, "Sorry, my best friend needs me!" Before running out of the room. He bolted down to the street, just as a taxi pulled up. He sprinted for it, but someone got there before he did. Out of other options, the only thing Barney could do was run. And that's exactly what he did. "Hold on, Robin… I'm coming…"
Barney entered McLaren's to find her sitting alone at their usual table. He sat down at the other side of the booth, panting heavily from the run. Robin startled and looked up when he sat down.
"Barney? What're you doing here?" She was honestly shocked to find him across from her. It was so friendly, comforting… so completely unlike him.
He looked at her as if she'd just spilled something on his suit. "Uh, what would I not be doing here?"
Robin was entirely confused. "... Huh?"
"Bros don't bail on Bros, right?" He responded like it was just about the most obvious and second nature rule ever.
"Oh," she said, genuinely surprised, " I didn't know I qualified to be a Bro." Barney was still breathing quickly and loudly from his run over to the pub. He loosened his collar an inch to let some air in, and she looked at him suspiciously. "And, um, why are you panting? Did you, like, just go on a run or something?"
Oh shit. She's totally on to me. "Please! Come on, Robin, try to be realistic. I just had lots of awesome… sex… at work today. As I so often do," Barney fibbed.
Robin had a slightly disgusted look on her face. She clearly hadn't caught on, greatly to Barney's relief. "Eew! Stop right there, I don't even want to know about the latest Barney Conquest Story." She paused and her face fell, remembering the reason she called in the first place. "Although, there was an actual reason I called you. Trouble with a specific Bro, I guess. You know how I've been dating Mark for the past few weeks? We broke… he broke up with me."
Barney's first instinct was to laugh at her. Of course they'd broken up! Mark was Robin's rebound guy. She'd only dated him because A) she was desperate and B) to get back at Ted. Barney had predicted it from day one. The moment after a smirk spread across his face, he saw the beginnings of tears in Robin's eyes. She really didn't want to cry in public, much less in front of Barney, but despite her efforts, a tear rolled down her cheek, and before she could stop them, the flood gates opened.
Barney looked at her, confused and guilty. It wasn't like Robin to cry, she was usually so tough. To see her break down was a new thing. "Hey, hey, Robin, I'm sorry," he said, moving from his side of the table to hers. He put an arm around her and let her lean into him as she cried.
"I just… wanted things to work you, you know?" She said. "Mark seemed like such a nice guy. But I just suck at relationships."
"No, you don't. You landed Ted. As much as I'd joked about wanting you guys to break up, you two were really great. And if this dude Mark can't see how awesomely awesome a person you are, he's not worth crying over."
Barney's words were oddly reassuring. She dried her tears, thoroughly embarrassed, but more-or-less intact. "Thanks, I really appreciate you coming over-" Robin was midway though her sentence when she broke off, feeling a sharp tugging sensation at her middle, similar to what she'd felt minutes before. She let out a gasp of pain, her hand clutching her stomach.
Barney suddenly grew alarmed. He pulled his arm back, almost fearful that he was hurting her. "Robin…? What, you okay?" Unable to respond, she shook her head, hunching over and desperately trying to suppress a whimper as the pain intensified.
Scared as hell, yet also unsure as to how he could help, Barney tentatively put a comforting hand on her back. He had no idea what was wrong with her - or more likely, the kid – but it seemed pretty serious. "Uh, you don't look that okay. Shouldn't you go to the hospital?" He questioned.
After another second, she cautiously straightened up. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I think I should. Look, I know this is a lot to ask, but could you drive me?"
"Please, you don't have to ask. You're my Bro, remember?" He added, with a smile. "Come on."
He slid from the booth and offered Robin a hand. She gratefully took it, and he gently pulled her to her feet.
The fifteen-minute car ride to the hospital – despite being painful for Robin – was relatively uneventful. Ignored a few stop signs, and Right Turn Only lanes... and red lights... you know, the usual. After the two of them exited the car, Barney kept an arm firmly around her waist, mostly because he was sort of afraid she'd faint. They walked in through the main entrance of the brightly lit hospital, and up to the front desk. A nurse sat there, organizing a very large pile of papers, but looked up when she saw them approach.
"Hi," she greeted them, "is there something I can help you with?"
Robin stepped forward. It was her problem, after all. "Yeah, there is. I'm pregnant, I've been having cramps, and they're pretty bad. Do you know what's wrong with me?"
The nurse scribbled something on her clipboard. "And how many months in are you now?"
"About four and a half."
The nurse nodded, looking up at Barney. "Oh, is this your husband?"
Robin laughed, but Barney almost passed out himself when she asked that. Didn't his suave manner and dress indicate that he was a bachelor? Why was this concept so hard for some people? He jumped in. "No, definitely not…! Friend. I'm her friend."
"I'm Robin, by the way. Robin Scherbatsky." She added.
The nurse began scribbling again. "Robin… Scherbatsky. Okay, I'll take you into Obstetrics, and Dr. Jacob will check on you there. It's on the second floor, do you need a wheel chair?"
Robin shook her head. "It's fine, I'll walk."
"All right, then. This way."
The nurse walked down the hall, and they followed, Robin leaning into Barney to keep herself for falling over. As much as Robin loved her independence, sometimes it was nice to have a shoulder to lean into - even literally. The three of them stopped outside the examination room, where the nurse turned back to Barney and Robin.
"Dr. Jacob should be free any minute. Robin, you can go on in and get changed." Robin nodded, and the nurse then addressed Barney. "We should be able to give you an update within an hour, Mr…"
"Stinson," Robin finished.
"An hour," he said distractedly, before asking Robin, "You'll be okay 'til then, right?"
"You know me." She said, with a smile. Of course, she was terrified. But it was a hell of a lot easier to act confident than break down in front of a friend and a nurse. The thing is, Barney did know her. And he knew she was freaked. Before walking in, Barney pulled Robin into a tight hug. "Good luck, Scherbatsky," he said, before she broke away and headed into the exam room. He waited in the hallway until the door had closed fully, and a doctor had gone into the exam room with her.
Barney walked back down to the waiting room. But the white walls, the bright lights, an hour to spend sitting there worrying about Robin? Too much to handle. He needed air. Barney had a vague recollection of Lily babbling about some café down the street that supposedly had great coffee. Under usual circumstances, Barney wouldn't find himself within fifty feet of a place recommended by her - chances are, it'd be filled with obnoxious artsy types and hippies, or not serve beer or something. But in the midst of desperation, nothing sounded better.
Barney walked over and ordered a three-shot espresso (because if he couldn't have alcohol, he'd have to settle for caffeine). He took a seat at an unoccupied table and glanced at his watch. 1:10. It occurred to him at that point that he should definitely call Ted. He was her roommate, after all, and he'd be majorly freaked if something happened to Robin and he didn't even know about it. Barney whipped out his Smart-Phone, thankfully, Ted's number was on his speed dial. He wondered how Robin was doing.
Meanwhile, Robin sat on the edge of her bed, absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of her hospital gown and casually wondering, oh, shit, what in hell was wrong with me? After the surprisingly quick time of under a minute, a doctor walked into the room. She glanced up.
"Hi there," he began, in an unusually cheerful voice. "I'm Doctor Jacob. Robin Scherbatsky, right?"
"Yeah, that'd be me," she responded, wincing slightly at a new ache in her side.
"So, Miss Scherbatsky, I hear you've been having some pain. Can you tell me what happened?"
She thought for a minute. "Nothing really happened, I guess... I was just sitting at this place I usually go to with my friends, and it started hurting. Not just an ache, it was pretty intense. My friend, Barney, he was there. He took me here."
The doctor smiled warmly. "That was good of him. Alright, so why don't you lie back, and we can get this thing started."
Robin complied, lying down against the pillows of her bed, but sat back up again. "Wait," she said. "What do you think is wrong with the baby? I didn't exactly think of this kind of thing happening so early on..."
The doctor explained, "Oh, I wouldn't jump to that. Pain, particularly during the first and second trimester, is often nothing to worry about. Still, I recommend we do an ultrasound just to verify that everything's all right. Sound good?"
"Yeah, it's... yeah, it's fine. Sorry, I sort of overreacted. I don't make a habit of this." She lay back down as the doctor retrieved a stethoscope to continue the examination.
Barney sat at the café. He had finished his coffee and left Ted numerous messages on his phone a good long while ago. He glanced down at his watch. 2:03. It had been almost a full hour, and he decided to head back and ask if they'd let him see Robin, or at least update on how she was doing. He entered the hospital through the main entrance, and spotted a Doctor walking down the hall. "Doctor?" Barney asked. The man stopped and turned to him.
"Yes, hello. I'm Doctor Jacob. And you are...?"
Barney was quick to reply. "Barney Stinson. My friend, Robin, she's pregnant, she came here like an hour ago?"
The doctor nodded, slowly remembering what Robin had told him. "Oh, yes, you'd be the friend who brought her here. She mentioned you. I'm Doctor Jacob, and I actually just finished up with Robin, so you can see her if you want to. My guess is, she'd like some company."
Barney smiled gratefully and Doctor Jacob began to lead him down the hallway, but Barney stopped. "Wait, wait." Robin was, after all, in the hospital for a reason, and he needed to know: "is her baby okay? Is she?"
The doctor explained, "the pain she was experiencing turned out to be very strong Braxton Hicks contractions, they're a common form of false labor."
That last remark was more than worrying. Confused, Barney asked, "but... isn't it way too early for her to have the kid?"
"Practice contractions such as these tend to occur much later in pregnancy, but it isn't unheard of at this stage. We have Robin on medication that should make them dissipate in under an hour. Also, the ultrasound checked out normal, and if the pain goes away as we predict, we have good reason believe that both of them will be fine."
Barney breathed a sigh of relief, as the anxiety and stress of the past hour and a half had been completely lifted. "Great. Can I see her now?"
Doctor Jacob smiled. "Of course," he said, and the two of them walked down the hall and up to Robin's door. "She's all yours," the doctor told Barney, before heading back to the lobby. Barney approached the door slowly, opening it to find Robin lying in her bed. She looked weary and really worn out, but basically in one piece. Technically two. The moment he stepped through the doorway, she sat and her eyes lit up. He closed the door behind him, leaning against the wall opposite her bed. "Hey," he said.
"Hey."
The two of them stayed as they were, just looking at each other, not saying a word. After a moment, Barney rushed forward and pulled Robin into a tight hug, while simultaneously sitting down on her bedside. A couple of seconds later, she shuttered, pulling herself away, but still tightly holding Barney's arm. He looked her up and down, a mixture of confusion and fear in his eyes.
"Sorry, did I hurt you?"
She shook her head, grimacing slightly. "No, it's nothing. Just a twinge. Apparently, my body's not done torturing me just yet." Barney still looked worried, so she hastily added, "but the Doc said it's nothing to worry about, and the pain'll go away soon."
"Huh. So... how are you?" He asked cautiously.
She shrugged. "This was way harder than I expected. Not just the hospital, but everything. A baby. I want to keep my job, but hell, I want to keep my life. I don't know how it's all going to work out, when I don't even have anyone to raise a baby with."
"You've got Ted," Barney pointed out.
"Yeah," she responded, frustrated. "I know I do. But Ted has a life of his own. I know he won't kick me out or anything, but come on, we're exes, remember? We're over each other, and I don't want to barge in on his life."
Barney knew Robin was right, but he didn't want Robin to think she was out of options. He thought back to what he had kinda-a-little-almost-sort-of half-thought earlier about wishing the baby was his, because it'd be easier on Robin. Of course, Barney had been lying to even about his reasons for wishing it. It was more than convenience, and more that making life 'easier on Robin.' It was that he loved her. Barney Stinson had, in a way, always loved Robin, sometimes romantically, sometimes as a friend, but it was always love. He wasn't even aware of these feelings himself. All Barney knew was that she needed a friend today - and his schedule was wide open.
"Okay," he countered. "Maybe there isn't one perfect guy, but you've still got a lot of awesome friends. Lily knows a scary amount about all this life stuff, Ted and Marshall may never have gotten laid or even heard of a quality haircut, but they plan on sticking around with you. Along with the rest of us. Bros don't let Bros handle things on their own. New article to the Bro code, as of right now."
Robin smiled, extremely grateful, if not a little surprised, that Barney's words were comforting and he was actually cheering her up. "Thanks a bunch, Barney. I know you always act like you don't care about anyone but yourself, and it's all about scoring with hot chicks - actually, I don't think the hot-chick-obsession-thing is just an act - but deep down, you're a pretty nice guy."
Barney was genuinely shocked that Robin was able to see right through him and spell his personality out so adeptly like that, but he decided to keep his cool. "While I appreciate the complement, Robin, and don't particularly mind you knowing that one Barney Stinson has a heart, I'd still like to keep the rest of New York in the dark." He reached into his suit pocket, pulling out a checkbook. "How much do you want? 100 dollars? 500?"
Robin shook her head, laughing, and batted his hand away. He lowered the checkbook, but didn't put it back in his pocket just yet. "Barney, I'm not going to have you bribe me! Your secret'll die with me, promise."
He looked at her suspiciously, before asking in an absolutely serious voice: "okay... do you pinky swear?"
She rolled her eyes. What are we, second graders? Honestly, for a guy who hits on roughly 20 girls a day, he's ridiculously immature. Still, she knew Barney, and how important lame rituals were to him and that insane and nonsensical 'Bro Code.' Obligingly, she stuck out her pinky finger. "Yes, Barney. I pinky swear." They shook.
She was about to tease him about the whole 'pinky swear' ritual, but another of those obnoxious 'practice' contractions took the wind out of her. A non-suppressible almost-scream escaped her mouth. Panicked, he asked, "What? Robin, another one?" Clearly, it was. "Should I get a nurse?" He started to stand.
"Wait!" Barney sat back down. She tried to explain, "They said, said it's normal - the medication's supposed to stop - ah! - stop it in an hour or so-" Barney held up his hand, motioning for her to stop talking.
"Robin! Hey, Robin," he held her arms in his. "Don't talk. It's okay, you'll be okay." He didn't really know how to be comforting in a situation like this, because, well, he'd never been in a situation like this, and was kind of freaked out himself. Still, anything is probably better than nothing, isn't it? He thought. She whimpered, as the pain presumably intensified, her hand instinctively flying to grab Barney's.
She grimaced, closing her eyes. "God, this hurts," she said shakily. He knew it did, but saying 'I know - it's pretty obvious because you've been screaming' would probably result in him getting hospitalized as soon as that contraction ended. He settled for the safer approach of gently squeezing her hand and giving her a reassuring smile. After what felt like an hour - but was probably only a minute or so - Robin took deeper breaths, loosening her death-grip around his hand, as the pain seemed to be ebbing away. "I think- think it's stopping," she said, between gasps for air. "It doesn't hurt as much." With a little help from Barney, she laid back against the propped-up pillows of her bed.
"You all right?" He asked. Stupid question. Duh, she wasn't. He flinched, expecting to get slapped (or worse), but she didn't.
"Actually," she began cautiously, "the pain's not quite as bad as earlier. Still, I'm ridiculously tired. Stupid pregnancy," she muttered. Barney snorted at that. She turned on her side, facing him, and drawing her hand underneath her up to rest between her head and the pillow. He noted that Robin looked really exhausted, although her break-up with Mark followed by a hospital trip probably had something to do with it. She probably wanted to catch some rest, so he decided to ask,
"Hey, uh, do you want me to clear out? I left Ted a message a couple minutes ago, but I could try his phone again from the waiting room." Robin shook her head.
"No, it's okay." Then, she tentatively asked, "would you mind sticking around for a bit? In this room, I mean?" She really didn't want to be alone if/when another one of those damned contractions hit. Besides, Barney could be good company when he wasn't around lots of other people. He was honestly a little surprised that she'd asked him to stay, but if she wanted him here, he'd be here.
"Yeah, definitely," he responded.
Robin half-nodded, before closing her eyes completely. After a couple more minutes of dozing and silence, she felt a familiar pain in her abdomen. It wasn't as strong as before, but it was definitely intense. Her breath went from quiet and steady to jagged and uneasy. Barney startled when she said his name through gritted teeth and grabbed his hand again, but he could instantly tell what was wrong. "Deep breaths, right?" He reminded her. He vaguely remembered hearing somewhere that breathing helped with pain. He couldn't imagine how it could actually make anything easier, but (mostly because alcohol was off-limits) they had to start somewhere.
After the much quicker time of well under a minute, the pain passed yet again. This time, instead of going from the totally-painful category to the not-quite-so-totally-painful category, she came out of it feeling okay. "I think it's over." She carefully sat back up, letting out a relieved laugh. "Guess the medication paid off. I feel okay."
Barney couldn't help but feel enormously relieved himself. He tried to stay nonchalant the entire time, but Robin was one of the people he really cared about. "How's my awesome niece slash nephew holding up?" He asked.
"He or she seems fine." She looked down at her stomach, gently brushing it with her hand. "Although, I get the feeling that it'll need an name at some point, because 'It' sounds almost like a band name or something. Maybe Tommy if it's a boy?" A/N: that was just my little nod to The Who, one of my favorite bands ever, and their hit album, Tommy. "He's a pinball wizard, there has to be a twist..." Sorry, where was I?
Barney's face lit up, and almost the second she finished her sentence, he jumped in, "you know, the rumors you've undoubtedly been hearing all around are true: Barney is an awesome name."
Incredibly amused, she challenged him, "not to burst your bubble or anything, Barney, but what if it's a girl?" He looked stumped for a minute, before replying.
"Barney can be a girl's name, too." He responded in all seriousness.
She rolled her eyes with an exasperated yet amused smirk on her face. "Oh, give me a break! You'd want me to name my daughter after you?" He opened his mouth to agree with the previous statement, but she interrupted. "Okay, I don't even want to hear it, that question was way rhetorical."
Robin's phone rang from her bag. She leaned over and retrieved it. The screen read, Incoming call: Ted Cell. "Oh, finally. Ted's calling." She opened the phone and put it up to her ear.
"Hey, this is Ted."
Deeply amused, she responded, "I know. You've been on my contacts list for at least two years, buddy."
He was a little embarrassed, but before he jumped to defend his honor, he remembered why he had called in the first place. "Right, right. Look, my phone lists four missed calls from you, and nine messages from Barney. He said something about me really needing to see you, then came a bunch off death threats. What's going on, where are you guys?"
Barney left Ted nine messages? The guy must've been pretty worried. "Oh," Robin's face turned a bit serious. "Yeah, that's sort of why I called in the first place. I'm at the hospital right now."
"What?" Ted was extremely freaked out. How had he missed this? "The hospital? What happened, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. I was at McLaren's earlier, I... had some pain." The other line grew silent, and Robin realized that Ted would probably have a panic attack, so she added, "but it wasn't that bad - okay, it really sucked for around an hour, but they gave me medication, and I'm gonna be fine."
He gulped. "Robin, god, I'm so sorry, I was just really bust I turned my phone off. Is the baby...?" He was really dreading her response.
"The baby's fine, too, promise. Barney took me to the hospital in time, and the doctor said it was just Braxton Hicks."
Ted half laughed. "Barney took you? That's weirdly good of him, huh? Anyway, I just passed the apartment, and I'm on my way over now. See you in fifteen minutes."
She giggled. "Really weird, I know! Yeah, see you then." Robin shook her head with a smile. "Ted'll be here in fifteen minutes, he says," she informed Barney.
"What did he say about me?" He asked. Robin smiled mischievously, but didn't answer. "Oh, come on! What did he say?" Robin was having a ton of fun messing with Barney, but decided to tell the truth - in a way, she still wanted to make up for lying to him about her pregnancy at Lily and Marshall's wedding.
Frankly, she responded, "Ted said that you taking me to the hospital and being here now was, quote, 'weirdly good of him, huh?'. And Ted's right. You actually came through for me today. It was really nice, and I'm starting to think you'd make a really awesome uncle."
"Yes!" He said triumphantly. He was quite flattered, but had a careful agenda in mind as well. Greatly enthused, he continued, "for their first birthday, I don't care if it's a boy or girl, but I'm buying the kid a suit! It's going to be legendary!" He dramatically swept his hand through the air.
Robin laughed. Typical Barney, all right. But something about him also seemed a little more mature, like sharing in Robin's ordeal changed him. Obviously, Barney was (and always would be) the alcohol-loving, awesome Lady's Man, obsessed with suits and greatly over-used catch phrases and Laser Tag. But today, another part of his facade had been at least temporarily abandoned, to bring forth a new layer of his personality: Barney Stinson could be a genuinely caring person.
"I'm sure it will," she responded, with the hint of a twinkle in her eye. Because, that's the thing about floods. Like any other natural disaster, they can leave destruction in their wake. But they test people - people's strength, people's character, and most importantly, people's friendships. They bring people together for a common cause. And like any other flood, washing and scrubbing away at the world, this one revealed the true colors that lay underneath. In this case, a quality that Barney Stinson didn't previously know he was capable of.
With the familiar grin back on his face, Barney replied, "please. You just wait."